I Wish... (20 page)

"It's not like he's learning anything from this experience. He doesn't remember being a jackass before." A realization dawned on me. "Wait, why don't we remember this new time line?"

Krista was quiet for a moment. "Ok, well consider this. When you wished for the dress, do you remember it being made? Or when Viola bought the material. Or the fibers being woven into the cloth?"

"No, " I admitted, "I only remember going there and having her fit us."

"So," she continued, "we must only remember things that you wish for at the point where they intersect with our lives. If James is a total loner now, maybe we've never met him in this reality so we have no new memories of him."

"That makes sense." I agreed. "I have to wish him back to normal. He can't stay like this."

She sighed. "Too bad, I like the idea of the new and improved James."

After a moment of reflection that I spent trying to figure out the best wording, I said, "I wish that James Middleton would return to the way he was before I made my last wish."

Nothing happened. Not only was there no memory of a new time line, I didn't feel the headache or nausea that I suffered from when I made wishes.

Krista looked at me, confused. "I didn't feel anything."

"Me either. Come on, we've got to see if he's still the same."

We had a few more minutes until lunch period was over and we raced to the cafeteria.
Please, I'll give anything to see you joking around with the rest of our friends.

Before we made it to the cafeteria I saw him, slinking quietly along the wall. His hands were jammed into his pockets and his head was down. We stopped running and watched him, but he didn't even seem to notice us as he scuttled away.

"It didn't work." I said, frustrated.

Now Krista grabbed me by the arm and led me back towards the empty classroom. "We have to try this with something we can see."

When we were alone in the classroom again she told me, "Ok, wish for something. Something we can see in front of us."

I thought of my broken MP3 player. "I wish for a new MP3 player."

The sensation of being split in two was becoming familiar, and unfortunately, so was the blinding headache and churning stomach. Krista didn't look like she was faring much better.

She groaned and then said, "Unless I just haven't seen it yet, I don't remember you having a new player."

From the new time line I remembered that I'd stuck it in my backpack that morning. I reached in and pulled it out. I remembered buying it at an electronics store in Arizona. I'd had it for a few months before we came to Desire. "It's different. My old one broke the other night. This one was in my jacket pocket the other night when I was attacked so it didn't get thrown. In this new time line I've had two for a while. Wow, this one is really nice."

She rubbed her head absently and said, "Don't get used to it. Now you need to wish it away."

My stomach lurched. "I've never tried doing two wishes back to back like that. I'm not sure how well I can handle it."

Krista looked unsympathetic. "If you want to fix James we've got to figure out what you can do."

I knew she was right, but I dreaded what I had to do. "I wish that I hadn't wished for this MP3 player."

Although I was braced as much as I could be, nothing happened. The small gadget was still in my hand.

"Try again." Krista urged me.

And so I did. I tried over and over again in different ways that Krista and I brainstormed. Nothing we came up allowed me to unwish the player.

Finally, I admitted defeat. "I don't think I can make something I wished for unhappen."

She hugged me, "I'm so sorry that we didn't know before you made your wish about James. It's not your fault though. I shouldn't have egged you on."

I made a weak attempt to smile and reassure her that I was ok, but I knew it was my fault. I thought I was being funny and now the joke had gone too far and there was no way to make up for what I'd done.

I rejoined my class after the lunch with only a few minutes left in the period. I didn't even acknowledge the teacher when asked for a reason I was late. I wasn't tired anymore. All I could think about was the lasting consequences of my wish. A slip of the tongue and I could ruin lives.
I'm a monster.

The entire afternoon was more of the same. I blamed myself and I couldn't quit thinking about James, sitting alone at lunch. I kept remembering the way I laughed when I made my wish. As if it wasn't a big deal. As if I weren't destroying his whole life.

I was still thinking about it after my last class when the teacher asked if anyone would volunteer to help her move some boxes of equipment to a store room across the school. I saw Evan waiting for me, looking concerned. I didn't want to have to come up with an excuse to avoid having to explain why I was acting so strange so I told the teacher I'd help. I told Evan I would talk to him later, but right now I had an errand to do for the teacher. He left me then, but he still looked upset.

The teacher got called in for an unexpected meeting of some committee she chaired. She asked if I minded finishing up on my own. I told her that I didn't. And it was true. I expected the school to be empty by the time I hauled the last box. I could avoid talking to anyone and go home to wallow in my guilt in private.

It took me longer than I thought it would. I made sure both the storage room and the class were locked before I started home. My hands were jammed into my pockets and my head was down. I could really empathize with the new James because I didn't want to engage with anyone either. I didn't want to see anyone looking at me and I sure didn't want to talk to anybody. Which is how I ended up walking right into Coach Carter. Again.

Her back was to me so she never even saw me coming. I plowed into her at a decent clip and she was knocked forward onto one knee. She looked over her shoulder and she was snarling.

When she realized that I was the one who knocked her over, she growled. "You."

"I'm so sorry." I attempted to help her to her feet but she slapped my hands away.

Her voice was pitched low, but nobody was around to hear her when she hissed, "You think you're something special, don't you? You're a First Daughter and you think you'll be running the Coven someday."

She rose to her full height and even at 5'7", she still loomed over me. Her shiny black bob curved around her jaw and I realized that she was really a very beautiful lady, but in a dark way. She could be a vampire, looking gorgeous even as she ripped my throat out.

I shook my head helplessly. "I don't think I'm special at all. I don't even plan to join the Coven. I just want to graduate and leave town."

Coach Carter was nearly shaking now with rage. "Of course, you ungrateful little bitch. Turn your back on our traditions. Those traditions are the same ones that will pay for some fancy private college. You aren't a First Daughter, you're a Bastard Daughter!"

I backed away slowly, never taking my eyes off of this woman who looked like she might attack me at any minute. I risked a glance around for a teacher, but there was nobody around to help me if Coach lost it.

She managed to calm herself slightly. "Why don't you ask Jack what he knows about your father? If no one else is willing to confess to their sins, maybe he'll be the one to tell you what you ought to know."

I saw a chance to dart around her so I did, sprinting away at full speed. I heard her call after me, "Tell him that Cousin Julia sent you."

My mind was whirling as I walked home. My head ached fiercely and I couldn't banish what Coach Carter had yelled after me.
What does Jack know about my father? I know he used to run around with my mother when they were younger. He must know who my father is.

By the time I got home I felt frenzied. I didn't shut the door behind me. Instead I lurched to the kitchen where I could hear voices. The adults and Darcy was sitting around the table, eating an early dinner.

"Good lord, child, what's gotten into you?" Ramona asked me.

I looked at Jack, "Why does your cousin Julia think you know who my father is?"

He shot a panicked look at my mother and then at Ramona. "Now Thistle, I don't know what she's been saying, but Julia Carter has been extremely unstable since she was a child. We need to call the school and let them know that she was bothering you before she becomes a danger to the other kids."

His voice was soothing and it wasn't hard to imagine Coach Carter having mental issues.

Marla shattered my feeling of security when she said in a flat, toneless voice, "Jack, stop being ridiculous. Nobody is going to believe your story that Julia is crazy because everyone already knows how you had an affair with Vanna and got her pregnant."

"What?" Darcy and I exclaimed in unison.

"Mom?" I asked weakly, hoping that she'd deny everything, but her head was bowed.

Ramona sighed. "Really Marla, that was almost twenty years ago. Are you still dwelling on that?"

Marla threw her napkin on the table. "There were days I was able to forget, even weeks at a time when I could pretend that my husband didn't fall for my sister's seduction. I could pretend that my own mother didn't support her actions. It got a lot harder to do that when you moved back into my home and I had to watch my husband trying to bond with his illegitimate daughter."

I now understood the awkward conversations with Jack.
With my father.
He was trying to make a connection with me, a daughter who'd left his life when I was only three years old.

Darcy was glaring at Jack now. "I was toddler by then. How could you cheat on mom with
her
." The contempt in her voice was matched by the hateful look on her face.

Jack shook his head. "I don't know. I never dreamed of cheating on you, Marla. I never expected that I'd marry a Second Daughter, but I fell in love with you and I was happy. I didn't understand at the time and I don't understand now how I messed up so bad. It was nothing I planned."

He reached out to touch Marla's bare arm, but she jerked it away.

Ramona leveled a cold gaze at Marla. "Why don't you tell him why he loved you."

Jack's face looked pained. "What is she talking about, Mar?"

She glared at Ramona. "I should have known you'd do this to me sooner or later, you old bitch."

I rubbed my pounding temples and leaned against the kitchen island. I was almost entirely forgotten now as history unfolded here in the kitchen.

Ramona, heedless of Marla's insult told Jack. "I've always wondered how it is that you never realized it. Maybe she suggested that you never think about it."

Jack looked shocked. He swiveled to face Marla. He pleaded, "Please tell me that it's not true. Tell me that you didn't use your powers on me."

Marla didn't speak, her face was heartbreakingly sad.

Roman seemed positively gleeful when she continued. "Of course she did, Jack. Probably the first time she was close enough to talk to you she stole her sister's boyfriend by telling him he was in love with her. And you couldn't resist her power of spoken persuasion. In your mind it was true. You loved her just as passionately as she told you that you did."

Now Darcy looked angry at her mother. "Is that true? Did you use your powers on Dad?"

Marla glared at Ramona. "I didn't steal Vanna's boyfriend. She was stringing Jack along, as well as juggling four or five other boys. Jack couldn't seem to see that she was just toying with him." She looked at Jack. "I loved you, for years, you know. I watched you at school and when you came over to our house. I spied on Vanna's parties and watched her flirt with other boys while she sent you off to get her a drink."

She stood up and started pacing behind her chair as she talked. "She treated you terribly and you still tried to get her attention. Not because she was prettier than me or smarter or funnier. You wanted her because she was a First Daughter and I wasn't."

She kneeled in front of Jack. "I found you one day sitting on our porch. You looked shocked. I asked you what happened and you told me that you proposed, but she laughed at you. Laughed. You were devastated that that silly bitch didn't have the sense to know what a catch she had in you. But I did. I knew I could treat you better than Vanna or any of her friends so I told you that you didn't care about her anyway. I told you how much I loved you and yes, I told you that you loved me too. And then you did. And until you cheated on me, it was true."

He shook his head in denial. "Forcing your will on me doesn't make a real love. How can I trust a woman who supposedly loves me, but uses her powers against me?"

Ramona waved her hand dismissively at Jack. "You sound like a naive fool. There isn't a single woman in this town that hasn't used her powers on someone to get what they want." I thought miserably of James again. "You linked your fortunes to our Family and it's been a comfortable life for you. And you still had the opportunity to father the next Matriarch of the Madison Family so what are you complaining about?"

My mom finally spoke up. "I would never have married you, Jack. You were a nice boy from a good Family, but I never loved you. I never loved anyone."

I clutched my temples in an attempt to keep my brain from exploding. My unease was growing. But nobody was ready to drop this conversation.

Jack's face was drawn when he said to mom, "You told me you loved me when I had my affair with you. It's the only way I've ever been able to live with the knowledge that I did something so horrible to my family. I've had the solace of knowing that even if it hurt my wife, at least we had a child together that was conceived in love and desire."

My mom shrugged. "When the Hunters announced that Darcy had a very strong power, I knew that you'd make a good father and give me a daughter strong enough to become Matriarch in my place. With our history, I knew that seducing you would be easy to accomplish."

Jack whispered, "You... bitch."

He turned to Marla who was standing behind him with her thin arms crossed over her chest. "I've been so wrong all these years. I couldn't give you all of myself because I was caught up in an illusion that Vanna and I shared something during that affair. I realize now that I shouldn't have looked any further for fulfillment than my own wife."