I Won't Let You Die Angel (12 page)

“Absolutely not! This is
your plan of action? Putting Janet’s life in jeopardy!” Neil shook his head for
the umpteenth time.

“This is the only feasible
option now that Carl’s gone”, explained Chris for the umpteenth time.

I held my hands up. “Wait!
Neil, what is your problem? There’s no need to bash the plan. It’s perfect. They
want my pendant. We’ll make them take the bait. End of story.”

“And end your life in the
ordeal. Right!!”

Chris cleared his throat,
“If you two keep tugging at your fickle minds every two minutes, we better sublet
our plan to someone who’ll listen.”

That was the politest way
to proclaim “shut up and obey”. I squirmed around the little garage office we were
using as a temporary haven. Neil looked like crap.

“Tell me again what Majestic
is up to? I lost track of the story in between”, said Neil trying to elude more
squabbling.

Chris glanced at Richard,
who was straightening his coat, “Okay, for the last time, I’m going to elucidate
it all.

Four months ago, Lawrence
Livermore National Laboratory in Livermore, California had undergone the most notorious
treachery of all time. One of the most confidential scientists in the Nuclear Weapons
section very skillfully infiltrated a newly invented highly perilous arsenal of
nuclear warheads and took them out of the institution.

Later when interrogated,
he admitted remembering nothing of that night. Of course no-one believed him, and
he’s in detention right now. After a little digging, Carl confirmed the culprit
behind the theft was Majestic. She’s in possession of the most dangerous weapons
of all time and is in the process of planning something big.”

“But as far as it is publicly
known, nuclear testing has not been done for decades in America. So, what’s this
about ‘newly invented’?” I asked.

Mr. Bornel looked interested
in the conversation for the first time as if it was a miracle that someone asked
a sensible question. “Scientists have planned for this new warhead for years now.
It was secretly squelched to attract negligible attention for obvious reasons.”

Neil raised an eyebrow and
asked with shrewdness, “The million-dollar question is: if Majestic has acquired
it, why hasn’t she used it until now? What’s with the delay? Is she waiting for
an auspicious moment?”

Richard brightened up, “Finally,
a question actually worth a million dollars. According to Carl’s latest report,
she desperately wants to unleash her plans, but the scientist who tipped her
off about the weapon actually forgot to mention about the trigger. Without a key,
the lock is as useless as bullshit.”

Neil’s eyes took a detour
to all of our faces and finally landed on mine. “Okay, I don’t speak science. Do
you mind a little translation?”

I simpered, “The moral of
the story is: the weapon can’t be activated unless triggered by a special key code,
which amazingly enough Majestic has failed to acquire.”

“That’s correct”, confirmed
Chris. “According to Carl’s recent discoveries, Storm was assigned to deal with
this ‘key’ famine and he was close, but apparently he lost it.” 

I processed the entire information,
“Okay, but you guys must have at least a little heads up about what she actually
wants to achieve by this?”

“She wants war. As per our
deductions, she won’t annihilate the US, but she would bring disaster somewhere
else and the blame ultimately would be on us. I don’t know if these terrorist have
definitions of wrong and right deeds?”

Neil pinched his eyebrows
together, “There’s still a billion-dollar question: what the hell is she planning
on accomplishing with Janet’s pendant? I’m sure it’s not just a maniac’s fling for
a rare piece of jewelry.”

“That was a confusing blow
for us. We heard about it yesterday only and we have just one theory: either Storm
was dragging personal disputes into this mess, or the whole abduction thing has
been just a distraction to keep us as far away from their actual mission as possible.
Majestic’s not a fool. By now, she must have deducted a perfidy in her inner circle;
she just didn’t know that it was Carl.”

No, this was not it. I had
this gut feeling that the pendant was an important artifact in Majestic’s big tapestry.
The picture was almost clear; I just could not connect the last few dots.

“So, what’s next? Are we
going for the weapon or the key? I suggest we go for the key. Without the key, the
weapon might as well be some scrap of metal,” I finally voiced after an elongated
silence.

Richard smiled amusingly,
“Great mind! But Miss Janet, there’s this little flaw in your plan: we have no idea
where the key is? Or what it looks like? But we certainly have a crystal clear picture
of the warhead,” and he showed us some pictures. “So, for now, we’re going after
the weapon only, and your theory very much applies but in vice-versa.”

Neil sighed loudly, “So
that puts us again back to square one where you are planning to use Janet as a sacrificial
lamb, and when you actually doubt Majestic wants her pendant.”

“That’s our best shot. Now
here’s what you’ll be doing.”

The strategy had no flaw,
obviously, Federal agents and all. But Neil was still skeptical, and he was damn
right about the risk factor. One mistake and the risk factor would ascend like a
logarithmic curve with only infinity as the upper cap. But still, as Richard quoted,
that was our best shot.

“It’s settled then. So,
what’re we gonna do tonight? Pre-battle bonfire? Telling war-stories? I bet you
lot have endless ones? I’m the amateur one here,” I beamed excitedly. Oh yeah, declare
me crazy or something, I was excited that all would be ending tomorrow. I’ll rescue
mom, avenge Carl, and return to my old, boring life. Enough with adventures already.

Chris chuckled, “Of course,
but I guess we’ll be having two different bonfires. We three need to dictate the
schedule to our conclave, and you two”, he gestured at us, “will not be leaving
the 500 meter perimeter. Is that clear? And if you try to run away…You know what
the consequences might be?”

Neil opened his mouth to
reprimand, but Richard interrupted, “Save it, Neil, Carl might be fond of you, but
we have no reason to be all cuddly to you; we’ve endured your presence just in respect
to Carl’s memory.”

Mr. Bornel raised his hand
in peace, “We are a team, and we have a mission to accomplish. I hope we won’t regret
recruiting you two into our elite group”, and just like earlier, he darted out of
the office.

What’s with this man: he
resembles a humanoid robot. Chris and Richard left as well, and for the first time,
I wanted to stay clear of Neil. Judging from my total inability to think straight
in his proximity, I followed the other three and breathed the cold night air outside.
Of course, Neil followed me.

“Janet…..”

“Don’t!! Just don’t!! There’s
nothing I wanna hear from you right now. Everything is just too much messed up to
add another one to the list.”    

He just stood there, close,
so close, his eyes speaking what he wouldn’t. I stepped a few paces back, I was
so not going to let his talkative eyes hamper my resolution.

“What do you want, Mr. Monster?
Why follow me? You abandoned me, remember!”

“I did it for you!”

“For God’s freaking sake,
everyone just needs to stop doing that!” I practically woke a few peacefully sleeping
birds in the nearby trees. They crooned their strong disapproval and flew away.
I wish I were a bird, capable of fleeing any vile situation.

“My birth parents abandoned
me for my own good. My mom left me alone for our relationship’s own good, and Carl
gave his life away for my sake. Did anybody ever wonder what I wanted for my own
good? No!! They, including you, just decide what’s good for me and bail on me, never
looking back, never once considering what I’d feel. I’m not a puppet god damn it!!
I have a heart, a dainty one, that gets hurt when someone else decide my
own
good
for me and abandons me to deal with the heartbreak.”

Neil stood stunned, even
I was stunned at my elongated outburst. But he did hurt me, and as you’ve already
guessed, I was not one of easily forgiving types. And somehow there’s this prick
in my heart that keeps reminding me that if Neil hadn’t left, Carl would still be
alive.

Neil still did not budge;
he was fixated in place as if some external force field was keeping him in its center.
A lone tear escaped his eyes, and I realized that he, too, was in pain. He just
lost his pal and was way too vulnerable right now.

Something tightened in my
chest. I so wanted to hug him, like right this moment, but a centrifugal force was
refraining me. He looked straight into my eyes, and more tears bursting out, “You
said I am drowning. You said one hand is enough to pull me out of the eternal darkness
that is encompassing my life. But for me, one is not enough. Carl was not enough.”

He stretched his trembling
palm forward, “Will you lend me your hand? Will you pull me out of the misery, the
darkness? Will you be my guardian Angel?”

“Will you shine for me??”

His eyes expressed his grief,
his loneliness, and his infinite faith in me more eloquently than any words
could. Those ocean blue eyes begged me, and the tightening in my chest increased.
I froze, right then; it was like there was nothing going on in this world except
his extended palm and heartfelt confession of needing me to shine for him.

Somehow I remembered how
to think and move again, but by then Neil felt hopeless, his hand dropped lifeless
by his side, and his legs averted away from me. No way was I going to see him turn
his back on me again.

I came out of my shell and
hugged him, hugged him so strongly that it made him falter backward. But when he
rested his hand on my lower back, I thought I would faint from happiness. That simplest
of touches was without any act of mischief, compassion, pity, or consolation; but
just it was just because he wanted to touch me. It induced thousands of sensations.

“Thank you, thank you so
much for walking into my life.” His lips were almost in my hair. He pulled back
slightly to look at me, his eyes so blue and deep that I could dive in and gladly
drown in its pools.

“So now are we discussing
war stories?”  

He laughed, “Sure, which
one do you wanna hear? The territorial gang war or the confrontation between us
and the Taliban?”

Respecting our 500 meter
deadline, we rummaged for a trapdoor in the attic of the garage, and perched ourselves
on the uneven terrace. We sat with our backs fully touching, staring at the clear
night sky.

“Are you even gonna tell
me any real war stories? Everything you was  complete exaggeration. I mean, in
the twenty-first century, who uses whips for torturing?” I nudged him
annoyingly.

“Okay, you tell me then!!”

I clapped my hands excitedly,
“You know this semester, I got the most difficult experiment to perform for my finals:
To observe the ‘Newton’s ring’ interference pattern created by a planoconvex lens
illuminated by 500 mm red Laser light. You know, when viewed with monochromatic
light, it appears as concentric circles …”

Neil nudged my head with
his, “Whoa there,
Angel,
we’re telling war stories, not horror stories.”

I elbowed his stomach, “Fine
then, I won’t talk. We’re just so much different. We don’t even have a common topic
to gossip about!”

Then I realized what I had
done. We had just moved up a step in the epic “define the relationship”, and I was
bitching about our differences.

Neil was spectacularly silent
for a few moments and then relaxed beside me. “Ok, tell me about your ultimate fantasy?”

I rummaged my brain for
a moment; there were several fantasies I would have liked to turn into reality…“Yeah,
I want to actually measure the 3.99 degrees tilt in the ‘Leaning Tower of Pisa’
with my own instruments, personally,” I proclaimed.

Neil’s nervous cough was
precious. I leaned my head against his shoulder, “No, I was just pulling your leg.
If you’re seriously curious, I have always fantasized about kissing a freakishly
hot guy passionately on the top of ‘Great Pyramid of Giza’.”

He unexpectedly turned around
and pulled me in the circle of his sexy arms, “How about kissing a totally hot guy
on the top of a deserted garage?”

Not waiting for my response,
which obviously would be positive, he kissed me. The kiss was so passionate and
fierce that my whole body burst into flames in spite of the cold weather and I inched
myself closer. I practically leaned on his thighs, his hands being the only thing
supporting me. His hands found the hem of my shirt and tugged inside to caress the
hollow of my navel intimately. I clutched his neck, with a complete shudder, twining
my fingers in his hair, unable to steady myself as a result of the intensity and
electricity seizing us.

I gasped for air realizing
how much breathing is essential for survival; a moment ago that kiss was all I needed
to survive. Neil steadied me and scooted me closer, our foreheads touching. I realized
how stupid my fantasy would sound now. The place never matters, the person does.

“One fantasy down, what’s
yours?”

His expression grew serious.
“I won’t lie to you, but it’s not what’s expected. You don’t wanna hear it.”

“Of course I do! And I promise
it’ll stop the earth from rotating if I have to in order to fulfill it.” He smirked.
“You don’t believe me. I can do that, really, or at least in theory. The earth’s
core has several – um – how to say it, fluids, which contribute to the magnetic
field lines. If we could just stop that fluid from flowing or reverse its course…”

That made him smile. “To
dedicate white orchids at the feet of
the Statue of Liberty
.”

I eyed him warily, “But
that’s not a problem at all! After this expedition, we’ll just go to New York and
pay tribute. But I wonder why it’s a fantasy at all? You could have visited New
York anytime?”

Neil lowered his gaze and
played with my bracelet, “I couldn’t.”

“But why? I didn’t know
you had a crowd-o-phobia!!”

His voice thickened, “Because
I vowed not to!”

I waited patiently for him
to open up; the matter had to be taken care of with the utmost delicacy. Judging
my silence to be approval, he continued, “The Statue of Liberty epitomizes freedom
from slavery and bondage, ‘
Liberty Enlightening the World’
. Lady Liberty
lightens the path to freedom through peace and non-violence. But am I at liberty
to make my own decisions? Am I actually worthy of standing in front of the Lady?
The answer’s no! It has been no for years now. I have been trapped in an endless
abyss surrounded by high ramparts. I have been entrenched in a culture too ingrained
to ditch. Crime, the underworld, the darkness never cease to reign. Everybody is
just sailing the same boat for centuries amidst the old rancorous gang war. Nobody
questions the system,
I
never once questioned what I was doing. We are implicitly
born into it. But Carl did question. When I was thirteen, he elucidated the significance
of the emblem and made me promise sanctimoniously to never ruin its virtue until
I decided to actually redeem my soul. That day, I just feigned the conversation
talking nonsense into thin air. But as I grew older, I understood the gravity of
his words and promised myself to never vandalize its significance.”

I was stunned and speechless.
For the first time in my eighteen years of existence, I couldn’t frame a single
alphabet phrase of reassurance. I could have said that I understood, but that would
have been a pure white lie. How could I have understood the depth of self-conviction
in which Neil had been engulfed?

You know the weight of that
unbearable force that crushes down on you when you know you don’t want to do something,
be something? It is like being pushed by some imaginary threat of heredity and lineage,
when you force yourself to undeniably believe what is right and wrong just because
you are told to. How can anyone else possibly understand that conflict, that self-conviction,
that rapture of getting one chance to reverse it all? No, no one is capable of understanding
it. Not me, not even Carl. Carl was searching for a way out, but Neil, he was still
submerged halfway in it.

Neil noticed my inner turmoil
and intertwined his hands with mine, “I know, I got a little bit carried away. I’m
sorry. But the point I wanted to make is that I could have acquired anything I put
my finger upon in the world, but not the one thing that really matters, liberty.
And that’s why it’s a fantasy. Fantasies are bound to be out of reach, right?”

I pressed my hand more tightly
in his, “Not anymore. The first ray of light the day after tomorrow will bring a
new dawn. The Statue of Liberty awaits you, and a new life as well.”

Neil reached out and twisted
a strand of my hair in his fingers thoughtfully, “You know, there’s one thing I
would never tire of doing again and again.”

“And what is that?”

“Playing with your hair,
I kind enjoy it.” A cute, carefree smile crossed his lips.

I laughed unceremoniously,
which made him laugh too. And we laughed like maniacs for the next few minutes,
as if someone had injected us with nitrous oxide. Amid so many happenings, these
stolen short moments of ecstasy were precious. But as I proclaimed, short term happiness.
Phew…..

Like a short-circuited wire,
something crackled in the surroundings. For a moment we mistook it for some lost
animal, but the cracklings soon increased in intensity. Neil checked his pockets,
no weapon. God! Cut us some slack already. Miraculously, God answered my prayers.
It was actually Chris and company with his entire entourage. Both of us sank down
in relief. “God! I’m starting to be transformed into some ninja-cum-paranoid-cum-Valkyrie
girl. Do you think we should go down?”

“Nah, they can’t see us;
let them do some exercise first. It’ll be fun watching them burn some calories.”

“Do you two mind ceasing
your suicide operation and honor us with your audience”, shouted Chris sarcastically.
I practically jumped into Neil’s lap.

Neil grimaced, “How did
he…”

I observed carefully and
grunted, “Infrared goggles….. Night vision…”

“How did you? Oh yeah, it’s
you…. Miss know-it-all….. Come on, we’ve got
bad
people to capture.”