Ice (41 page)

Kavick looked around and said, “Where’s Tark?”

“He’s on his way,” Suka said.

“He left to change clothes and shower,” I explained. “He was here all night with you.”

I stood and said, “I’ll leave you guys with him so it doesn’t seem so crowded when the doctor comes in.”

Suka and Anana looked surprised.

“Technically, we shouldn’t be here, either. It’s supposed to be only family,” Suka said.

I stepped around the bed. “You practically are.”

Anana spoke up then, saying, “We should leave, too.”

Kavick suddenly looked hurt. “Everyone’s leaving me? But, I just woke up,” he whined. He reached for my hand and said, “Stay with me until the doctor gets here.”

I looked at his hand, surprised he was actually holding it in the air for me to take.

I stepped back beside him and held it with both of mine. I sighed. “How can I say no to those puppy dog eyes?”

“The doctor said everything looks good,” Anana told Tartok later. He was standing against the wall of Kavick’s room, under the TV. Anana stood beside him, craning her neck to look up at him. His hair looked a little wet and he was in a black hoodie and blue jeans. Tartok kept his face indifferent, but I knew he had to be relieved.

Kavick smiled at me and said, “That was nice of your uncle to ask all those people to pray for me.”

Justin had been in for a few minutes to see him after the doctor checked on him. Then Justin left to go on to work after I told him
I would like to spend the day with Kavick.

Just then, Suka and Anana left for the ladies’ room. Kavick played with the blue Jell-O in his bowl for a few seconds before looking up at Tartok and saying, “Can I have a moment alone with Christine?”

Tartok raised an eyebrow at him. “Isn’t it a little soon to be doing that?”

“You know what I mean!”

“Don’t get mad! You just had surgery!” Tartok said, suddenly panicking.

“Then don’t make stupid jokes like that!”

“Fine,” he said, raising his hands on his way out.

Once the door was shut, Kavick looked at me. I was still by his side, but I hadn’t held his hand since the doctor came to check on him.

“Sorry about earlier when I woke up,” he said.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said, shaking my head. “Anana said something about the Factory?”

He took a deep breath and looked down at the blanket. “When I woke up in the Factory, I was on an operating table. The first thing I saw was an IV in my arm, and they had a bunch of machines hooked up to me. The doctors were in bio-hazard suits and they were calling me a ‘subject’. I was already strapped down, but because I started kicking and screaming, they pushed me down and restrained me some more…they put a muzzle on me, remember?”

I remembered when Tartok and I had found Kavick in the Factory. It was horrible seeing him like that.

Kavick raised his eyebrows as he recalled the event he had just told me. “It left an impression on me. I told Anana about what it was like in there…I guess she could tell by my reaction where I thought I was at. I have nightmares about it sometimes.”

“That’s horrible,” I said, holding his hand again in an attempt to comfort him. “I’m so sorry…I can’t imagine…
.”

He shook his head and gave me a weak smile. “Don’t worry about it.”

He looked down at my hands on his and curled his fingers more around mine. “That’s actually not what I wanted to talk to you about. There’s something else….”

I felt myself stiffen in anticipation.

His blue eyes moved up to look at me again. “How are you and Marcus?”

I gulped and looked down at my lap. “He left.”

Several seconds of silence passed.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said. He actually did sound sorry, too.

“Don’t be,” I said, looking back up at him. “I wasn’t happy about it, but it was for the best. I don’t think I could stand for him to be around after everything he had done.”

His eyes widened slightly. “…Really?” he asked, sounding uncertain.

“Yes.”

“What did he do to make you feel that way?” he asked, puzzled.

I struggled to find the right words. “Uh…” I furrowed my eyebrows, finding it difficult to say. “…He’s the one who shot you.”

Kavick’s jaw dropped slightly as he stared at me, clearly not expecting to hear that.

“…Oh,” he said surprised. “Funny how that worked out.”

I huffed at him. “You don’t need to play like it was an accident. I know why he did it. We both know.”

Kavick dropped his head slightly and his eyes shifted up to me uncomfortably. “It’s because of what I said, wasn’t it?”

“He did it for a number of reasons, but primarily because he was jealous of you,” I explained. “He learned what you are from Officer Conner. He told Marcus how the people in
Nome thought one of you killed that kid, and he took on the same warped vision as them.”

I sighed and looked at our hands again. “But, I guess none of that matters now. All that matters is that you’re alright.”

He was quiet for several seconds so I looked up at him. He was just staring at me.

“What?” I asked nervously, suddenly feeling like I must have said something wrong.

“That was so sweet.”

“What was?”

“What you said about all that mattered was that I was alright.”

I was shocked that he was actually serious. He was clearly genuinely touched by what I had said.

“Oh, well…I was just telling the truth…” I said awkwardly. I removed one of my hands to brush some hair behind my ear. I was suddenly feeling very self-conscious.

“You really are the most caring person I know,” he said, like he was in awe of me.

I froze with my hand still by my ear. Never had I ever heard someone say that about me, the socially retarded girl who was always opening her mouth to say the wrong things.

“Thank you,” I said, stunned. And then I was enchanted by his eyes again.

I wanted to say, “And, you have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.”

Instead, I changed the subject.

“What is it that you wanted to tell me? Was it the same thing you were trying to tell me before, when you…?”

I cou
ldn’t say, “When you were shot.”

“Yeah, actually…” he said, looking down at my hand on his. He hesitated for a few seconds, opening his mouth, but never saying it.

The anticipation was killing me.

“Marcus said you’re a vegetarian?”

I felt my face instantly fall, along with my hopes. “
That’s
what was so important?” I asked, my disappointment thick in my voice.

“We-well, not exactly,” he stammered nervously.

“Just spit it out already!” I said exasperated.

“But tell me about the vegetarian thing first,” he insisted.

I rolled my eyes and said, “If you
must
know, I became a vegetarian when I was eight because of a field trip to a farm. There was this huge, smelly cow with a mouth full of hay, beating the flies off its big, ugly butt with its tail, and then the farmer told us, ‘This is where milk and burgers come from!’ When I got home I told my mom I was never eating meat again, because all animals are smelly and gross. I also don’t drink milk, because every time I look at it, I remember that cow.”

Kavick had been snickering while I was talking, and once I was finished he couldn’t hold back anymore. He burst out laughing, saying it was one of the funniest things he had ever heard. I just watched him seriously, waiting for it to pass so I could learn what he really wanted to tell me that was so important…and then I had to laugh a little myself.

“Okay now, what is it that you really wanted to say?” I asked, getting down to business.

“I decided not to marry Anana…and, I just realized I haven’t told her yet,” he said, shifting his eyes around awkwardly.

“You haven’t been awake long enough to tell her.” Suddenly, I felt dirty, like I was the other woman. “Should I leave and let her…?”

“No!” he said quickly, shaking his head. “Even though I haven’t told her, she thinks it isn’t a good idea, anyway.”

“Oh,” I said, suddenly feeling relieved.

“After I talked to you yesterday, I proposed to Anana. Her reaction wasn’t very good,” he said, grinning a little like he actually found it amusing.

“What did she say exactly?” I asked curiously.

“She got mad at me and told me that I was being cowardly and stupid.”

I was stunned to hear this. It wasn’t at all like how she had talked to me, saying if marrying him made him happy then she was willing to do it. “She got mad?” I asked surprised.

He widened his eyes a little, sharing my feelings. “I know. Before, she had been so care-free about it, like it didn’t really matter to her. I’ve actually proposed to her once before.”

I felt my jaw drop. “Oh really?” I asked, trying to hide my discomfort.

“I was just kind of throwing the idea out there while we were at the grocery store one day trying to decide what kind of pizza to buy. Because of Tartok’s nagging, it was all I could think about and once again I was starting to think I should do it, so I asked her if she wanted to get married and she just said, ‘I don’t care.’” He raised his eyebrows. “The whole thing was so bizarre.”

He then looked into my eyes and said, “She told me I shouldn’t have said goodbye to you. She told me I needed to go back to you and apologize.”

I closed my eyes at t
he memory of him kissing the top of my head before he left. I shook my head. “No. I understand why you—”

“But I
do
need to apologize,” he stressed, gaining my attention again. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking sad.

“You’ve already apologized,” I said gently, remembering when he had hugged me before he got shot.

“I can’t apologize enough for leaving you like Marcus did. I promised I wouldn’t be like him and I broke it.”

He placed his other hand
on mine. There was a clip on his index finger with a wire attached to it. He caressed my hand with his thumb. “You mean so much to me…the idea of never seeing you again…I couldn’t bear the thought of it. And now that things are safer, it doesn’t have to be goodbye. But, even if that didn’t happen, I would do everything in my power to protect you.”

I smiled a little and said, “I know you would, but I’m not totally defenseless, either.”

He smiled back at me. “I heard you and Marcus talking in the woods about the shooting lessons.”

“My aim isn’t too bad,” I said smugly.

“Hopefully, it will never come to that…” he said, like there was still that fear in the back of his mind. It wasn’t impossible. The war with the hunters might not be over.

I felt exposed, as I usually did when we made eye contact, like he could read my every thought. I started to hold my breath as I listened to him.

“…Because I don’t know what I would do without you. I’ve lost so many people already, and losing you….”

He closed eyes, unable to finish the statement. “…I couldn’t stand it when I left you. I felt like…it’s hard to describe…like there was a hole in my heart.”

My mouth gaped slightly as I started to breathe again. That was exactly how I had felt at the thought of him dying. I couldn’t stand it. “It was hard for me, too. Not just when you said goodbye, but the idea of you…you….”

I couldn’t say “dying.” It made me feel like crying just thinking about it.

His eyebrows turned up sympathetically, clearly seeing the change in me. I quickly looked away in case I started to cry. “It was pretty hard for me, too,” I said quickly, deciding to just leave it at that. My nose started to sting and I couldn’t stop the tears from forming in my eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I said, wiping my eyes. “I’m so stupid.”

“No…” he said, sounding surprised that I would say that.

He took his hand from mine to tip my chin up. I looked at him through the tears in my eyes. He held my gaze for a moment in perfect silence and stillness, and then he held my hand again. He squeezed it as he spoke. “I never want to let go of you. You didn’t just save my life when you helped Tartok rescue me from the Factory, and when I had fought with that bear in the woods. You saved me by just being there, by being you. You saved my humanity. You’re…so much more to me than my friend.”

I was speechless. Never had I been so touched by someone’s words before.

He moved his hand up to my face and wiped the tear from my cheek that I hadn’t realized had fallen. He leaned toward me
then, and kissed me. His lips were just as soft as I remembered on my head, but it was so much more than I could have ever anticipated.

When he moved his lips away from mine, he kept his face close, our noses nearly touching. His captivating blue eyes were all I could see.

“I love you,” he whispered. “I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you in the woods.”