Ice in My Veins (17 page)

He smirked and turned his focus back to the television.

The season had gotten off to a great start for our team. We were 4-0. I was playing as hard as I could. I knew there would be lots of NHL scouts in the stands at our games. I wanted to make them aware that I had what it took.

My agent had gotten a hold of my scouting report. I read it.

Left wing, 5-9, 176 lbs; Toronto (OHL). Scouting report suggests she’s a good skater who is not afraid to go into heavy traffic and has a good shot, although doesn’t shoot as often as she could. Played in all situations has improved a lot over the last year.

Well at least it wasn’t a negative report. I had to take more chances out there. I would have to get a little selfish with the puck. Take the shots instead of passing the puck.

Alex and I were on talking terms. He was feeling lost and lonely. Boston had him being a human yo-yo, back and forth from Boston to Providence. He was feeling the stress. I did feel for the poor guy.

I told him in the last email “Awe you’re having a bad day, just think about this, you could have been swallowed!” That would put a smile on his face. I missed him so much. I wanted to forgive him, but I wasn’t ready to just yet.

I was ecstatic when I got the invite to the Top Prospects Game for January. I jumped up and hugged the coach. I was pretty sure that he had called in a few favors to get me that invite.

Many fans and critics still considered me a big joke. I would have liked to have been asked to be part of the World Juniors. I didn’t get an invited to camp for it in the summer, and I wasn’t asked when they sent out the selection invites in December either. It would have been nice to play for the USA. I was still not considered good enough in team USA’s eyes. It really bothered me.

I couldn’t wait to call Alex and tell him about the Top Prospects invite. He was still the first person I wanted to speak to when something good or bad happened in my life. That right there should tell me something. It was time to forgive him. That didn’t mean I had to take him back, but it meant that I had to let it go and not hold it over his head anymore.

“Congratulations Christine, That’s a huge deal.” Alex had said during our last telephone conversation.

“I know it is, thanks. I’m a little nervous about it though. Hopefully, all the scouts will see my talent, and maybe I will get drafted.”

“Christine, I’m sure someone will sign you, but the NHL. Well that’s another story. You’re a girl. I just don’t think any team would want to take a chance like that,” he explained.

“Alex, you’re the last person I thought would say something like that.” I screamed at him, extremely irritated. “I will talk to you later, Goodbye.” Then I hung up the phone.

I was ready to throw something. I had worked so hard. Why would he say something like that. For God’s sakes he played with me. He knew how talented I was. He knew I could handle it. I was mad. I decided to go for a run.

It was cold outside. Maybe, -20 degrees Celsius. I don’t know what it was with the wind chill, but man I had never felt cold like this before. It cut through my lungs. I had to take my scarf and wrap it around my entire face. There was no way I was going to be able to run far in this weather, I decided to go to the gym. I would get a much better work out. I couldn’t believe how cold it was. It wasn’t even snowing out. Just freezing cold.

I started working out. I was running on the treadmill, when my cellphone went off. I glanced at it to make sure it was someone worth interrupting my work out for. It was my coach.

“Chrissy, I just got word that you have been invited to be part of the United States World Junior Camp. They want you down there in two weeks. It’s just a camp to see who they want on the final roster. There were three injuries so they have invited you.” Ben explained.

I hit the red button on the treadmill and it stopped. “Are you kidding me?” I didn’t believe it. “I’m about to pass out right here.” I took a few deep breaths. “Thanks Coach.” I whispered still trying to catch my breath.

Some guys gathered around me to find out what was wrong.

I assured them. “Nothing, I was just invited to the U.S. World Junior Camp for final roster picking.”

A few of my teammates who were there at the gym congratulated me. I couldn’t finish my work out. I went back to the Peat’s house to tell them the good news and to call Alex, my parents and Moose.

My father was beyond excited. He was so proud. He didn’t care that meant I wouldn’t be home for Christmas. I reminded him that they might not choose me, that I was only invited to camp. I mentioned that he should not tell his friends, or our family because they most likely wouldn’t choose me. I reminded my parents that it was just an honor to be invited to the World Junior camp.

Moose thought it was great but of course had something smart to say. “They invited you because they can’t look like assholes. If you were Canadian you would have, without a doubt; made the Canadian team. They know it. After the comments Butler, the Team Canada coach said about you. The US coach really didn’t have a choice.” He informed me.

“What? I didn’t read that, what was said?” I asked him.

“Butler said, that he would have loved you to play on the Canadian team. That you would have been such an inspiration to young girls across Canada. He told the press that if the US team didn’t invite you; it showed a prejudiced towards women in hockey, and that would be a disgrace. Did you not watch Sports Center last week Chris?” He laughed.

“No, I didn’t. That’s awesome. I’m very thankful to whatever Butler said to get me my invite.” I giggled with excitement.

“By the way Chris, Have a happy 18th birthday. I wish I could be there to celebrate with you.” Moose said.

“Thanks for the birthday wish Moose. I think getting an invite to the U.S. World Juniors is the best gift I could ever receive. I am going to make the best of it for sure.” I informed him

I was ecstatic. I would have to train extra hard for the next two weeks. I invited Plouffe over after practices all week and took shots on him in the driveway net. He was happy to help. He would be playing for Team Canada and wanted the practice as well.

There were six Americans including myself; who were playing in the CHL, that got a camp invite. Five of them had gone to the July 30-Aug. 7, in Lake Placid (N.Y.) Olympic Center Camp.

This would be the final camp before the team was announced. There would be nine returning players from the Gold winning USA World Junior Team. If I made the team, I would be in Buffalo, New York, over the Christmas holidays. I would be seen by every single scout and team coach. I couldn’t ask for more coverage. I hoped that I had what it took to make the team.

We won our weekend games. Plouffe hosted two shutouts. He said he owed that to me, forcing him to have all those extra practices. I had a 5 point weekend. I was also happy. I was nervous for the camp. Alex told me to treat it like anything else I had done and just focus on whatever the coach asks me to do.

The two weeks passed rapidly. I was packing my bags to fly to Buffalo, when I received a call. A call that no one wants to get. My father had been in a terrible car accident. He was in a coma. They didn’t know if he would pull through.

I told my mom I would fly home. She insisted that I go to the camp. She convinced me that my father had been so proud. If I didn’t go, he would kick my ass when he came out of it. I argued with her for over an hour. The decision was that I would go to camp. I had reservations, but I knew there was nothing I could do for him and mom was right. Dad wanted this for me.

My teammates were very supportive sending their well wishes for my father and for me at camp. It hit the media that I was going to the World Juniors Camp and that my father had been in a terrible accident. Opinions were torn over the fact that I had gone to camp instead of flying home to be with my family. I refused to speak to the media. My agent had a public statement read for me. I had enough on my mind.

Weirdest birthday ever. I managed to get offered one of the best opportunities and feel the worst I have ever felt all at the same time. I would have to stay positive.

Buffalo, New York

Every one seemed to know each other the first day of camp. I knew five of the guys who played in the OHL. Other than that I had never met the rest of the guys. They did not look happy I was there. I was thankful when I heard Jeremy Turner from Barrie, sticking up for me to a few of the guys. I had over heard part of their conversation.

“No seriously guys, she’s a great player. She’s got talent and she won’t get pushed around. She’s better than half the guys in the league. Give her a chance and she’ll prove it to you.” Jeremy assured them. ”I thought the same things you guys did when I found out she was in the OHL. At first to me it was a big joke but she’s proven me wrong. Hell if you guys don’t want to play on her line, I will. She’s one hell of a playmaker.”

This camp was harder than any other camp I had participated in. The coach worked us hard, and he seemed to work me even harder. I wasn’t the only player who noticed that.

Kennedy skated over to me on the second day “Man, I’m glad I’m not you, he’s really busting your balls out there Chrissy.” He snorted laughing.

I knew Kennedy from the OHL. He played defence for Owen Sound. He and I had butted heads a few times over the last two seasons, but respected each other as players. He asked me if I had gotten any news on my father. I told him, that he was still the same. They still weren’t sure, but there seemed to be no brain damage. He just needed to wake up from the coma, but the doctors were now hopeful.

The coach Terry Smith, called me into his office on day three. The final day of the camp before they announced the final roster. I was nervous. Why was he calling me in and no one else? I knocked on his door and walked through it with caution as he said “Come in!”

“Take a seat Christine.” Terry said motioning to the chair in front of his desk. I sat down and waited for him to talk.

“As you know, I have received a lot of slack for not asking you to the summer training camp.” I just shook my head and he continued on. “It’s not that you weren’t good enough to get the invite, the truth is I don’t feel that there is a place for women in this type of hockey competition. There is a woman’s team and that’s where girls belong.”

I started to interrupt him “Coach, listen. I understand the animosity that many feel regarding women in a man’s sport. Don’t think I haven’t heard it all before. I have proven myself worthy of being here, and you know it. It’s your team and I will respect your decision. If you don’t want me on your team I will have to accept that. However, if the only reason is because I am a woman; than I think that is not only disgusting but disturbing. I will also remind you that you have just openly discriminated against me. I would understand if I didn’t play as well as I do. However, I do play well. I play better than most guys my age in the sport right now.” I said harshly to him.

I wasn’t able to accept a NO because I was a girl. If I didn’t match up to the players I would understand that, but this wasn’t the case.

“Excuse me?” He barked. “You have some nerve to talk to a coach that way. You should just shut up and listen.”

“You’re right it does take nerve to speak to a coach that way. I would never speak to a fair coach in that way or tone. You however, are far from fair.” I growled.

“You were invited here because I didn’t have a choice. I was all set to have you suit up and just sit on the bench. After you talking to me this way.” He shook his head. “You’re off the team immediately. Get your shit and go,” he ordered.

“Alright Coach. I guess I will be calling my agent and he will release a statement about the conversation we just had.” I turned and stormed out of his office slamming the door.

I took out my cell phone, turned it on and called my agent before I was even out of the building.

It was on the 6 o’clock news.

Eighteen year old female hockey player, Christine Matthews was cut from the USA World Juniors team this afternoon. This happened when she argued with Terry Smith, after he told her that she was only invited to the camp because he was strong armed into having her attend.

According to Matthew’s agent Frank Hart. Smith pulled her into his office this afternoon, and told her that the only reason she was being cut was because he didn’t feel a girl should be playing a man’s sport. Smith told Matthew’s “there is a girls team go play for them”.

According to Matthew’s agent she replied back to Smith “I would accept any other reason for being cut from the team, but not just because I am a girl. That is ridiculous, I think I have proven myself over the last two years”.

Miss Matthews who’s father is currently in a coma from a terrible car accident, went to camp at the urging of her family. Hoping that when her father woke up from the coma he would be able to watch her play for her country.

Miss Matthews currently plays in the Canadian Hockey League for the Toronto Gophers, under the guidance of hockey legend Ben Killerman. She is presently, 4th in the Ontario hockey league in points. She has been invited to play in the top NHL prospects game in January. We have been informed that many NHL teams have been watching her closely this season.

Sport Center has obtained a copy of that scouting report and it’s all positives.

We tried to reach Coach Smith for a comment, but were unable to. In the past we have heard Terry Smith speak out about women in hockey, and how he was unsupportive of the idea.

We did manage to reach a member of USA Hockey. They said that they were looking into the allegations. They also said that they did not discriminate against women. If the allegations turned out to be verified, then they would be replacing Terry Smith as coach for Team USA.

We would like your opinions on this subject please email your responses to TSNsportscenter.com.

It seemed to be on every news station. My cellphone was ringing off the hook. My agent moved me into a different hotel and instructed me to stay put. He had spoken to USA Hockey and they were going to come to a decision on whether or not they would fire Smith for his comments.

I felt guilty. I didn’t want anyone fired. I just wanted a shot at something I deserved. I knew life wasn’t fair, but this was something that I had worked hard for. I truly deserved to be out there playing for my country. I wasn’t about to let some chauvinistic coach sideline me.

Technically it is always the coach’s final decision. Now that it was out in the media it not only reflected bad on him; but I wondered if the NHL teams would want the hassle of taking a chance on me. They might think that I would run to the press about everything.

I wasn’t answering any calls. Only from Ben and my agent. Moose had called several times. My friends and most of my teammates were also ringing my cell off the hook.

Alex didn’t call me until near midnight. He helped me to calm down. He had two days off. He said he was on his way to Buffalo, that’s why it took him so long to call me. He told me that he was thirty minutes outside the city. He needed to know which hotel I was at. I told him the hotel and room number. I was grateful that Alex was going out of his way to be here with me. That meant so much. I still loved him, and I knew he still loved me. He was what I needed right now.

When he got to my door he was banging hard. I opened it and he rushed in.

“What the hell?” I questioned him.

“Sorry, the media was following me. I lost them in the stairwell.” He choked out a laugh. He was out of breath.

He reached out and pulled me into his arms. I started to cry. I had been holding back the tears the entire time. Now they flowed, like a river. I wasn’t able to stop. He just held me and rocked me in his arms. He didn’t say anything to me. He just let me cry.

After an hour of crying my eyes were dry. Nothing more would fall from them. They were now as dry as a desert after a drought. They were red and starting to sting. I put some drops into them to stop them from being irritated.

Finally there was a statement released from USA Hockey.

We at USA Hockey do not agree with statements said to Miss Matthews by Terry Smith. Smith has been replaced by Norman Youville. He will have the deciding say on whether or not Christine Matthews is a good enough player to be on this years team.

A girl can play if she makes the cut. We have not seen anything to tell us Miss Matthew’s is not good enough. Her track record speaks for itself. Youville is a fair coach. If he feels Matthews is a fit, then she’ll play. If not, she will be cut as any other player would be.

Well at least I would now get a fair chance. I was told to meet Norman Youville and the team at the rink at 9:00 a.m. the next morning. That night I curled up in Alex’s arms. He held me all night. He told me that he would stay until after the decision and then he had to head back to Rhode Island.

In the morning I was a nervous wreck. I was so frustrated with everything. When the elastic I was using to try and put my hair up broke, I screamed. I threw my hair brush at the wall and then kicked the wall cursing.

“Chill over there, Bruce Lee. Are you going to kick through the wall to the other room?” Alex chimed from the bed.

“I’m just so frustrated Alex. This is such a big mess. It’s all the same bullshit I have been dealing with my entire life. A girl shouldn’t play a guy’s sport. It’s bullshit.” I whined.

There was nothing anyone could do for me at the moment. Everything had to play out in it’s own time. We both knew that. Alex offered to drive me over to the rink. We tried to hide from the media, but a few of them caught us as we were trying to sneak out the back of the hotel. They wanted a statement from me and not my agent. I was put on the spot. I had to say something.

“I told my agent what was said to me by Terry Smith in his office. I did not go to the media. I am unsure of who did. I didn’t feel that being a girl was justification for cutting a player.”

I took a deep breath and continued to explain myself to the media. “If he had told me that I had been cut because of my playing; or because I didn’t fit well with the rest of the team, then I would have kept my mouth shut and let it go. That wasn’t the case here though.”

I took a deep breath and continued my statement to the press.

“I know of Norman Youville, although I have never met him. USA Hockey have assured me that he is a fair man. If he decides I shouldn’t be on the team for the right reasons I will walk away. It would be an honor to play for my country. I would do my best to make my country proud. Now we will wait on what Mr. Youville decides. Thank you, that’s all I have to say.” I told the media, as I was trying to duck into Alex’s car that he had idling.

After my statement, a reporter shoved his microphone into my face while I was trying to close the car door. He asked “Christine, what about your father?”

I froze for a second. Then I shoved the microphone out of my face and the reporter leaned over me to get to Alex. “ Alex are you a couple? The fans what to know?”

“Please have some respect, and move your microphone away from my car. Christine just gave her statement.” Alex demanded. He leaned over me and pulled the car door shut. He almost broke the microphone.

He wasn’t about to make a comment right now. The media could be so rude at times. They just wanted their story; they didn’t care about anything else.

On the way to the rink Alex spoke. “You know that the media is going to question me on whether or not we are together. What do you want me to tell them.” He asked with a smirk.

“Alex, we are not back together. Tell them the truth. We have not been together for almost a year however, we have remained close friends. You came to visit me and be here to support me.” I demanded.

“Alright,” his smile faded. I didn’t have time for that right at this moment. My career was on the line. I needed to be professional and have my head on straight.

Besides I knew he was just going to say “no comment,” and let them speculate. This way he wouldn’t have to admit it to himself.

Security was waiting for me at the rink and they escorted me into the building as we pushed passed all the media. I told Alex to meet me back at the hotel and gave him the room key. All this drama and stress is a lot for any eighteen year old to handle. I needed to shake it all off.

When I got to the office Norman Youville, the new coach was there. He told me that he had spoken to the guys on the team. They wanted me on the team. He said, they all felt that I deserved to be there. They were more than comfortable playing with me. He was relieved, because unlike Terry Smith; he felt I also deserved to be on the team. Youville felt bad for how this all had played out.

He warned me that the public would put more pressure on me now because opinions would be very split on whether I had earned the spot, or had strong armed them into giving me a spot. I told him that I understood speculations like that all to well. I would do my best to prove I belonged there.

He walked with me to meet with the team. We discussed strategy and game play for the World Juniors. We were told to forget the media attention. We all knew that would be rather difficult, because it was now worse with the ongoing drama created by my situation.

I was paired up with Jeremy Turner and Maxime Oulette, two guys I already knew from the OHL and the Quebec League. I had met Maxime before he went to play for the Sea Dogs in the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League. He was playing with Plymouth at the time. I was happy with that pairing. I knew how they played and vice versa. The three of us seemed to have pretty good chemistry. I would also be playing center, my native position. I liked that idea although, to me at this point I was good with either position.