If I Forget You (12 page)

“I gotta go,” she told the group, and put her cards on the table. “Someone want my hand?”

Another girl jumped into her spot and Tam hurried over to Ryan. “I knew you’d come,” she said, and then a dark look settled over her face. “I see you found Avery. Did you two meet upstairs or something?”

Avery almost laughed out loud at Tam’s obvious jealousy. “I gave Ryan a ride,” she explained slowly. It was one of the only times she had ever felt she had the upper hand. Tam was the popular one, the smart one, the one who had taken Avery under her wing like a little lost duckling.

Tam’s mouth dropped open. “I don’t understand.” She kept looking back and forth between Ryan and Avery, as if trying to let it sink in that Avery could even talk to a guy without her help.

“Ryan is my dad’s friend’s stepson,” Avery said quickly before Ryan could jump in or Tam could form a terribly wrong conclusion. Then she realized if she kept explaining, it would become clear to Ryan that she’d forgotten who he was from when she’d met him the first time. She wanted to avoid that, if possible.

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew each other?” Tam asked Avery, her eyes turning hard. Not once in their entire friendship had Tam ever been offended
—
at least openly
—
by Avery’s forgetfulness. But Avery could tell this offense stung. She’d already told Avery how much she liked Ryan, and if Avery used the excuse that she’d forgotten she knew him
—
even if it was the truth
—
it would only look like she was trying to cover something up. At least, that was how it seemed it would go over as she looked at the anger in Tam’s expression. But she
had
forgotten about him. Tam would have to believe her.

“With everything going on tonight, I just didn’t think about it,” Avery blurted. That sounded so bad. Tam knew, as well as Avery did, how many chances she’d had to tell her.

“I met Avery last December,” Ryan said at the first lapse in the awkward conversation. Avery couldn’t tell if he suspected something was wrong or not. “Our families had dinner together.” He gave Avery a soft smile, and Tam’s eyes hardened even more.

“Oh, well, that’s great,” she laughed as she looped her arm through Ryan’s and turned him away from Avery. “You want to go upstairs?”

Avery didn’t miss the way Ryan slid his eyes up and down Tam’s low-cut shirt and tight pants. She was as hot as they came, and Avery didn’t blame him for falling for her. But seriously, what was he playing at?

As he and Tam walked up the stairs, Tam looked over her shoulder and motioned for Avery to follow them. Avery’s heart sank about a mile when Tam mouthed
I found someone for you
and then turned back around.

Of course she would have someone for Avery. Of course she would want to get Avery out of the picture and away from Ryan. Sulking, Avery tromped up the stairs. Stupid Ryan. He had put it in her head that Tam had ulterior motives in their friendship. Maybe they weren’t so BFF after all.

* * *

The guy Tam had found for Avery was Logan Moore. The only reason Avery remembered his name was because he was her lab partner in chemistry and she’d written it down about thirty-five times so she would remember it and not feel like an idiot every time he said hi to her at the beginning of class.

Logan was cute, and that was a problem.

He was one of those swoon-worthy guys who wore tight T-shirts to show off his muscles and behaved like a gentleman because “girls liked that sort of thing.” Avery was convinced he didn’t actually want to hold doors open and pick up dropped books and pencils, but it didn’t matter. He was just her lab partner. Nothing more.

Until the party.

“He told me he’s had a secret crush on you since last year,” Tam whispered into Avery’s ear once they’d gone upstairs and grabbed some drinks. Avery made sure hers wasn’t spiked, and Tam did the same. Ryan didn’t check at all.

“I’m not really in the mood to talk to anyone,” Avery whined. She sipped her drink and looked over Tam’s shoulder at Logan across the room. He was leaning against the wall, hands shoved in his pockets as he coolly watched several girls check him out. A shudder ran down Avery’s spine. He brought one emotion to the surface, and the only word she could find to describe it was
blech.

“There’s no way someone like Logan Moore has a crush on me,” she growled. “How did you get him to agree to hang out with me tonight? Confess.”

Tam rolled her eyes as she sipped her drink with one hand and held on to Ryan’s arm with the other. “Believe what you want, my friend, but he’s waiting for you. Just go see, all right?”

Avery’s heart thudded in her chest, but her resolve to prove Tam wrong finally overruled her fear of talking to someone like Logan. Not that she didn’t talk to him in class, but those conversations were always filled with terms like “absolute pressure” and “solubility.”
Nothing truly social.

As she crossed the room to talk to him, she had no idea what she was going to say. She was sure it would be over in a matter of seconds and then she could go home.

“Hey, Ave.” His eyes met hers, and she looked away from the intensity. Okay, so Tam hadn’t been bluffing.

“Hi, Logan. Tam said you wanted to see me?”

He nodded and stepped away from the wall. “Thought we could hang out tonight. You want to go out back? Get some fresh air?”
Make out in a dark corner?

“I guess … I mean, I really can’t stay long, and I didn’t bring a jacket or anything, so …”

He kept his fierce green eyes on hers and held out his arm for her to take, as if such a gallant gesture would win her over. “Not a problem. I’ll keep you warm.” He flashed her a smile. “Unless you want to stay in here. That’s fine too.”

“Yeah, that might be better.” She forced herself to take hold of his arm, and he led her into the next room where they sat between two couples making out.

“Let’s just watch the movie for a while,” Logan suggested as she squirmed nervously in her seat. “No worries, Ave. This beats chemistry, right?”

She faked a laugh and glued her eyes to the television, but when two of the characters started making out in the middle of a chase scene and Logan slid his hand farther and farther up her thigh, she knew she had to get out of there. She’d never kissed anyone. She didn’t even
like
Logan, and the last thing she wanted was to find herself lip-locked with him.

“I’ve gotta use the restroom,” she stuttered, and scrambled off the couch. “Sorry.”

When she’d locked herself in the bathroom, she leaned against the counter and took ten deep breaths. Tam knew Logan would put the moves on her, but Avery supposed that was the whole point. After all, Tam placed a lot of her own happiness in relationships with guys, so she probably figured that was what would make Avery happiest too. But it never worked. She and Tam were two opposite sides of a coin
—
Tam the shiniest side.

Avery studied herself in the mirror. She looked at the eyebrows Tam had taught her to shape and pluck into perfect arches. She looked at the curls in her hair that Tam had taught her to do. She looked at the plunging neckline on her shirt that showed off a hint of cleavage, something she wouldn’t have dared expose before she’d met Tam. All of these things had actually boosted her confidence over the past year. More people knew who she was now, and even if she wasn’t as popular as Tam, it didn’t matter. The truth was she’d been happier in the past year than she’d been in a long time, and Tam was a huge part of that.

But that didn’t mean she had to let Logan put his hands all over her. She didn’t want attention from a guy just because Tam had decided to play matchmaker again. She wanted someone to like her just for
her.
Without Tam’s influence.

She took a few more deep breaths and opened the bathroom door, determined to find Tam and say goodbye before she left. She was by the kitchen, her expression glowing. Ryan was nowhere in sight.

Tam looked at Avery, confusion sweeping across her face. “Where’s Logan?”

“In the living room. He … I just want to go home, Tam. Sorry.”

Her confusion melted into disappointment and maybe a little anger. “Oh, I thought he was a good fit for you. He really does like you, Ave. It wasn’t all my doing.”

Avery looked away. Was she such an open book? “The problem is I don’t really like him, and I’m tired and I need to get home.”

“I understand.” Taking Avery’s arm, Tam led her to a quieter corner of the kitchen. “Before you leave, I have to tell you about Ryan. We totally just made out for fifteen minutes. He’s amazing, Ave.” Her eyes were dreamy, her cheeks pink, her breaths coming a little faster. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone. My mom always told me you’ll know when you’ve met someone you can be with for the rest of your life, and I swear … I really swear that’s what this is.”

Avery’s heart sank and she wasn’t sure why. She forced a smile and leaned against the wall. “I’m happy for you, Tam. He’s not even like most of the guys you’ve dated. He seems more down to earth.”
And mysterious. And maybe a total player.

“Yeah, even with his crooked nose.” She let out a heavy sigh and rolled her eyes up to the ceiling. “Hell, even
that
looks good on him.”

Avery looked around, confused. “Did he leave?”

“What? No, we just needed a little breather. He said he had to call his mom or something. I think he’s outside.”

Avery nodded. “Well, you’ll have to give me all the kissing details when we have our sleepover. Deal?”

“Deal.” Tam grinned. “Maybe I’ll have even more details before this party’s over. Call me tomorrow, ’kay?”

“Sure thing.”

Avery said goodbye and pushed her way through the crowds and out the front door. The air was warm and smelled of rain-soaked grass.

Then Ryan was in front of her.

She stopped in her tracks, her attention immediately snapping to his lips
—
lips that had just spent the last fifteen minutes attached to Tam.

“Hey, Avery.” He smiled, as if nothing was wrong, as if she knew exactly what was going on between them. She
wanted
to remember, but all she could dig up was salmon and his face across the restaurant table.

“Hey.” She nodded in the direction of her car up the block. “I’m heading home. Will you be able to find a ride?”

“No problem. I’m sure Tam can help me out.” He stepped a little closer. “So, uh, I’m not sure when I’m going to see you again, but about our deal … since you’re about to leave, did you want to follow through with that?”

“I … guess so,” she fumbled. “Right now?”

He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked around, finally motioning her to a clump of bushes around the corner. “Over there is fine, you think?”

“Uh, sure …”

She followed him around the corner, stumbling backward when he backed her up against the side of the house next to the bush. Her shirt snagged a little on the bricks.

“The first thing you have to do is keep breathing, no matter what. If you freeze up, everything will fall apart.” He leaned into her, resting a forearm on the side of the house. He looked so casual, so confident. His lips were inches away from hers.

“Keep … breathing,” she whispered. “Right.”

So she kept breathing.

She might as well get this over with, whatever it was she had agreed to do. Then she could go on living her normal forgetful life. No harm done.

“This is just about the kissing, right?” she asked quickly as Ryan leaned even closer.

His eyebrows furrowed. “Well, yeah … right?”

“I-I’m not sure.”

I’ve forgotten everything. Can I say that?

That was when he stopped. Even his breaths stopped, and he backed away a quarter of an inch. “Oh,” he exclaimed in an almost trembling voice as she squeezed her eyes shut to try to remember even one more tiny detail from that night in the restaurant. “Are you telling me you like me … like, more than a friend? I’m … I’m not sure I understand.”

She almost bit her tongue. It was too late to sort through anything now, because when she’d opened her eyes to tell him she had no right to crush on her best friend’s guy, she’d seen Tam in the semi-darkness a few feet away. Her arms were folded, her expression livid as she looked at Avery.

“I knew it,” she hissed. “I knew you were keeping something from me.”

Avery stiffened as Ryan backed away and rushed to Tam. “I can expl
—
”

“I’m not mad at you, Ryan. I heard what you said. This is clearly all Avery’s doing.” She took a step forward, her anger giving way to something else. Hurt. Regret.

“It’s not what you think,” Avery said in a weak voice, unsure of how to proceed. How could she explain that
she
didn’t even know what this was?

Tam shook her head, her eyes glistening as she turned away. “Don’t bother calling me tomorrow, Avery,” she said loudly as she stomped away.

Ryan stood still for a moment then hurled a quick, “I’m sorry,” at Avery before taking off after Tam.

All Avery could do was lean back against the side of the house and look up at the stars in the sky. With a sick dread in her stomach, she realized nothing would ever be the same again.

13

Jordan was a lot more relaxed about a date scenario than Kent had been. In fact, after Avery said goodbye to Owen and started walking to the library for work, she checked her phone at least eight times to see if Jordan had texted or called. She had no idea what time she was supposed to get together with him, and she wasn’t sure if it was because he hadn’t told her or she hadn’t written it down. She double-checked their last texting conversation. She’d said,
anytime after 7:00
and he’d said,
Great!
but nothing specific.

As she entered the library, she sent him a quick message asking him what the plans were, if anything. Maybe he would cancel on her. With so many prospects on her horizon, that possibility shouldn’t have bothered her. But it did.