If I Forget You (23 page)

“Do you want to answer it?” She rubbed her hips against his, trying to coax him to ignore everything but her.

“No way. She can come back later.” With that, he scooped her into his arms and carried her to his bedroom.

A few hours later Avery realized that she’d missed her mom and Chloe’s real birthday. So much for remembering things.

* * *

“Chloe?” Avery called out as she entered the house Sunday night. Her head was stuffed with memories of Jordan and his bed, his fish and the cactus, the food he’d made for her, how she hadn’t spent two seconds away from him for two solid days. She had planned to spend another night there, but his boss had called and asked him to head out on a flight for Chicago ridiculously early the next morning
—
not for the promotion, but for some important meeting that would probably last all week. He said it was a regular occurrence for his job and joked about quitting. She kissed him goodbye and he promised to let her know when he’d be back. She nearly jumped out of her skin when Chloe appeared around the corner, her hair messier than usual.

“Where have you been?” Chloe gasped, her face full of worry. “I’ve tried to call you, text you, but you didn’t answer. I called your mother, but she hasn’t heard from you either.”

Avery blinked a few times. Hadn’t she told Chloe where she’d be? Apparently not.

“I was next door at Jordan’s.” She blushed and looked at the floor. “It was an amazing weekend. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I’d be gone. I … forgot.”

Which was the absolute truth.

Chloe’s shoulders fell. “I knew you might run off for a day or two to spend time with friends once in a while, but I thought you’d tell me beforehand.” Her expression relaxed as she rushed forward and gave Avery a quick hug. “I went over to Jordan’s this afternoon. Rang the bell twice. I was starting to wonder if I should call the police.” She laughed nervously.

Avery felt even guiltier than before, remembering how she and Jordan had ignored the bell. She’d forgotten Chloe’s birthday yesterday
and
sent her into a panic for two days. “I’m so sorry, Chloe,” she said, deflated. “For the first time in my life I have a real boyfriend. It made me forget about everything else, including your birthday.”

Chloe’s face brightened and she clapped her hands together. “You two are together? Exclusive? That’s wonderful!”

“Yeah,” Avery beamed. “It’s really amazing.”

“He can come over for dinner,” Chloe said. “I’d like to get to know him if you’re serious about him. Only … please remember my rule about the bedroom.” She cleared her throat and gestured down the hall.

Don’t forget that, Avery. Don’t forget it. Don’t forget it.

“Won’t be a problem,” she said sternly, mostly to herself. “He lives next door anyway. I can go over there if we want to … you know.”

Chloe laughed. “Are you being safe?”

Avery’s face turned hot as she remembered Jordan making sure they were safe every single time. Not that it was any of Chloe’s business.

“Yes, we’re being safe. Don’t worry, Chloe. I’m going to go call Mom to tell her I’m sorry for missing her birthday yesterday. And if you’ll wait a second, I have a present for you.”

Chloe’s eyebrows shot up. “You do?”

“Yep. I’m really sorry I missed it. I hope last weekend makes up for it?”

Chloe wrapped an arm around Avery’s shoulder and led her into the kitchen. “You never have to make things up to me. Especially things you forget.”

* * *

The week dragged by without Jordan. Avery still sat next to Kent on Monday and Friday in English, and on Thursday she studied with Owen. Halfway through lunch, he asked her why she was so distant. She took a huge bite of hot dog and looked up at the Yoshino cherry trees which were now a mixture of bright yellow and gold. The ground was slowly becoming more and more covered with the leaves, but that didn’t stop her and Owen from sitting outside if the weather was nice enough. Today was warm even though some light clouds diffused the sun.

“I’m dating someone,” she finally said as she watched a leaf twirl down between them.

When she looked at him she found a huge grin on his face. “That’s great. You seem a little sad, though.”

Her shoulders relaxed. No wonder she liked him. It said a lot about him that he was truly happy for her. “He’s gone for the week. I miss him.”

“What’s his name?”

“Jordan.”

“Well, Jordan is a lucky guy.” He dropped a few chips into his mouth. “I’ve been on a few dates, but nothing’s really clicked yet.”

“Oh?” She leaned forward, excited for him. “A biology major like me?”

“Not even close,” he laughed. “One’s a dance major, the other is engineering.”

“Wow,
two
girls. Go, Owen.” She grinned, not only because she was happy for him but because his dating experience made her feel better about liking multiple guys at once. It was normal. It didn’t make her an awful person.

“Yeah, they’re both pretty great.” He caught her gaze and she realized he was silently saying,
“But not as great as you.”
That wiped the grin off her face.

“So, you ready for your test tomorrow?” she asked, patting his book sitting between them on the grass.

“Getting there. Help me out a bit?”

“Sure thing.”

The rest of the day slipped by, and before she was ready for it, Friday night stared her in the face. The week had been unbearably slow and fast at the same time. Halloween was next Wednesday, but it seemed everyone was holding parties the weekend before. Kent had invited her to one, but she’d turned him down. Tam texted her three times, reminding her to send her address so she and her friend could pick her up at nine.

“Fine,” Avery mumbled to her phone as she finally responded to the third text during work. “I’ll go.”

“Go where?” Heaven asked. “Jordan’s still gone, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, this is some party my friend Tam wants me to go to.”

My friend Tam.
So that was what Tam was now? A friend again?

Avery hit send on the text and gritted her teeth. She didn’t want to go to the party, but she knew Tam would take it as a slap in the face if she didn’t go. She decided not to test the limits of Tam’s supposedly heartfelt apology. The party was a surefire way to see if Tam was serious about renewing their friendship. If the party was some sort of trap to hurt Avery even more, she’d know it was time cut the strings for good. If it was a harmless party and a way for Tam to mend broken bonds, then maybe Avery could finally move on from all that pain and let things heal. It was a comforting thought
—
comforting enough to make her even a little excited.

“Is it a costume party?” Heaven asked. “It’s probably a good thing Jordan isn’t here if it is. He hates costume parties.”

“Yeah, I’m not planning on staying long. I’m getting a ride with my friend, but if I get bored I’ll catch the bus home.”

“Good plan.” She leaned back in her chair. “Are you going to give me any more details about you and Jordan?”

So far, Avery had only told her that she and Jordan had spent the weekend together, nothing more. Apparently, that was enough to ignite Heaven’s hopes.

“I told you,” Avery said, her cheeks warm, “we’ve decided to be together, so things should stay the same for a while, I hope. It’s not like we’re getting married or anything. We haven’t even known each other a month yet. Besides, you know how careful he is with commitment.”

“More than you’ll ever know,” Heaven said in a dark tone. “I’m glad you’ve decided on one guy, at least. That’s a huge step forward, and I’ve noticed you got rid of some baggage.” She nodded toward Avery’s messenger bag on the floor, now much less bulky than before.

“Yeah, I decided to try relying on my memory instead of writing everything down. Not for class stuff, but everything else. So far it’s been … shaky. I forgot my mom and Chloe’s birthday.” She rolled her eyes at herself. “And I’m pretty sure there’s other crap I’m forgetting too, but I’m happier not knowing what it is, I guess.”

Avery glanced up from the strip of leather she was wrapping around a spine to find Heaven looking at her with a surprised expression.

“What?”

Heaven’s lips turned up just a bit at the corners. “You’re different than I thought,” she said almost reverently. “I’m sorry for thinking otherwise.”

“I didn’t even know how you felt before, so it’s fine.” Avery turned back to the leather. “I guess.”

“I mean, I’ll still eat you alive if you hurt Jordan, but I’m thinking that’s less likely to happen now.”

Avery paused in her work. “I don’t want to hurt him,” she said gently. “I promise.”

Heaven nodded. “I believe you.”

* * *

The party was just as Avery had imagined: filled with people she didn’t know, loud music, and a super-excited Tam dressed up as a belly dancer. She truly looked the part, Avery thought as she followed her up the porch and into the house. She hadn’t bothered dressing up in a costume because she couldn’t care less about impressing anyone at the party.

“You interested in meeting anyone?” Tam asked as soon as they were at the bar
—
a real in-home bar, Avery noticed, not just a cooler filled with ice and bottles of beer. At least the party seemed somewhat sophisticated. “I mean, I told you I wouldn’t set you up with anyone, but if you’re interested …”

Tam leaned across the bar and asked the burly bartender, who looked about thirty-two, to make her a bourbon and beer mixture. He eyed her carefully. “I’ll need to see some ID,” he said, glancing at Avery. “Did Alex let you two in?”

Straightening her bare shoulders, Tam huffed. “Nobody was checking ID at the door.”

He sniffed. “They should’ve been checking, but it ain’t my party. Still, I can’t serve you alcohol unless you can prove you’re legal. If you want, I can make you a non-alcoholic drink.”

“That’ll be fine,” Tam relented. “You want something, Ave?”

Avery nodded and turned to the bartender. “Can you do a Reno cocktail?” It was a non-alcoholic drink her mom ordered sometimes, and she’d always wanted to try it.

“Sure.”

As Tam ordered her drink, Avery swept her gaze across the people in the room. Aside from the costumes, it looked a lot like the same sorts of people at Jordan’s party. “So much for under twenty-one, huh?” she said. “You knew, didn’t you?”

Tam made a
pshaw
sound and folded her arms. “Nobody told me there was an age limit,” she said, shrugging. “My dorm mate said it would be fine since it’s her sister’s party. You know how these things go. There’s a rule, and then as the night goes on it all gets thrown out the window. It doesn’t matter.”

“So you’re not planning on getting drunk tonight?”

“I guess not … unless I can find someone to get real drinks for me.”

Tam paid the bartender for both drinks and Avery followed her through a few rooms. The longer Avery walked around, sipping her overly tart drink, the more she felt out of place.

“You sure you don’t want me to introduce you to someone?” Tam asked again, turning away from the guy she’d been talking to.

Avery tightened her grip on the stem of her cocktail glass and nodded. “I’ve been dating, Tam. It’s okay. I don’t need help in that department right now.”

Tam’s hopeful expression crumbled. “You’re dating people? Really?”

Avery blinked. “Is that so hard to believe?”

“I don’t know.” Tam continued leading Avery through the house. “You really don’t believe me about being sorry, do you?”

Avery stopped in her tracks and stared at the red liquid in her glass. “Not really,” she said loudly enough to be heard over the music. “What did you expect? That I’d just welcome you back into my life? I feel bad about what happened too, you know, but what you did to me was ruthless. Even when it seemed to die down, people remembered. Nobody ever treated me the same.”

“I know, and that’s why I feel bad about it, all right? Things are different now,” she said, looking at the people bustling around them.

“Why? Because you’re not the queen anymore?”

Avery knew she’d hit her mark as soon as Tam’s eyes hardened. “Yes, actually,” she admitted, focusing on Avery with a hurt expression. “I’m so used to being important, you know? I feel like I’m nothing here. My dorm mates couldn’t care less that I was the student body president. My professors don’t care about my high school GPA. They don’t care how many guys I kissed or how many times I organized blood drives. They just don’t care.”

And it was then that Avery realized her ex-best friend was opening up in front of her, right in the middle of a house full of people dressed as sexy bunnies, vampires, and zombies. Tam didn’t want to hurt her; all she wanted was to hold on to the last shred of those glory days in high school
—
and Avery was that last shred.

“All that shit I cared about in high school means
nothing
here,” Tam continued, her eyes glassy now. “I thought hurting you would make me feel better, and it never did. All it did was make me angrier because you just kept going.” She lifted her eyes to Avery. “You just kept being
you.
”

Avery screwed up her nose, confused. “What else could I have done?”

“I don’t know. I expected you to break. I expected you to transfer to another school or something drastic like that. I didn’t want to see you anymore, but I couldn’t get away from you. The more I turned people against you, the more I couldn’t get you out of my life.”

“But you completely ignored me.”

“I tried to, but it didn’t work. I thought about you every single day.”

Avery let out a heavy sigh. “I’m not sure what you want from me. I’m sorry you don’t feel important now, but guess what?
Most people feel that way
. Maybe it’s time you joined reality.”

Tam’s jaw went slack. “Is that what you think of me? That I’m some spoiled bitch?”

Avery kept her mouth closed, unable to think of anything that wouldn’t sound completely heartless. It was true. Her opinion of Tam was pretty low, and she didn’t know how to change it. She wasn’t even sure if it was worth the effort now. The longer she looked at Tam’s cheap costume, the way her bottom lip jutted out in a little pout, the way she looked as if someone had just slapped her, the more Avery wanted to walk away and never see her again. It would certainly be easier.