If I Say Yes (20 page)

“You do realize you are in your underwear?” His lips quirk up in
a smirk. I gasp, dropping my hand quickly and taking a step back. How
could I forget I was wearing only a thin tank top and my underwear? “I think I could get used to seeing you dressed like this.” His voice is soft and full of desire.

“Don’t get any ideas.” I turn on my heels and run out of the kitchen.

I take my time showering and getting dressed, mainly because I’m
too embarrassed to show my face downstairs. I’m sure it’s only a matter
of time before Reid comes searching for me. It’s almost lunch time, and
that only further embarrasses me. I take one last glimpse at my hair. I had taken the time to tame it with some mousse. I don’t why I do it.
My hair only cooperates that way for so long before it decides to go
whichever way it wants. It’s the price I pay for not taking care of it
properly and dying it every time a faint sign of my blonde roots begin
to make an appearance.

Reid isn’t downstairs in the living room when I finally show my face. With the house having an open floor plan, I don’t have to move far from the bottom of the stairs to see that the French doors are still
open. A light breeze flows in and causes the sheer white drapes to
dance in the wind. I take a deep breath and head towards the doors.

I bite back my surprise at the sight before me. Reid is wearing
nothing
but swim shorts and is lounging on a chair across the deck. The sweat on his skin glistens in the sunlight. He is devastatingly beautiful. I
lean against the side of the house, watching him turn the pages of
whatever book he is engrossed with. He peeks over the top of the spine,
and our eyes meet. I sense hesitation as he motions for me to take a
seat in the empty chair next to him.

I sit down, glancing over to see what so vigorously had his attention
before I came out here, and am shocked to find what he is reading. “Bone
Cold?” I ask. He is reading my favorite book by Erica Spindler. I’m not
sure it’s a coincidence. I’m pretty sure nothing is when it comes to him.

“I saw on the questionnaire that this is your favorite book.” He
doesn’t look at me. Of course, being the nephew of the man who owns
the company I work for, he has unlimited access to my files. After all, that
is how he found where I lived the first time he showed up at my
house. I wonder just how much of my file he has seen. The questionnaire
is no big deal and nothing to worry about. Lawrence makes everyone fill one out, so he can ‘get to know his employees better’. If Reid has snooped
to find my address and has taken the time to read my questionnaire, I
can’t disregard the fact that perhaps he has read my entire file.

Does he know about Dr. Uria? Does he know why I see her?

The questions run through my mind a mile a minute. I feel his eyes
on me, watching me, waiting for me to say something. “What do you think?” I finally say.

“You do realize this is a romance?” He tilts his head to the side and
a half crooked smile appears.

“Is not,” I say too quickly. Reid laughs and shakes his head in
disagreement. “It’s a suspense novel.”

“A Romantic Suspense,” he says. “You discount the growing feelings
between the two main characters, the detective and the writer.” My face
drops. Of course it is. How could I forget? I’ve always been so enraptured
by the suspense of the book that I pretty much ignore the other part—
the romance. Maybe this is why Lawrence stuck me in Romance.

“You still never answered my question.”

Reid smiles again, and a hearty laugh fills the open air around us. “
And you still haven’t answered mine.”

“Fine… it’s a Romantic Suspense.” I sit back and fold my arms
across my chest. “Are you happy now?”

“Very.” We sit quietly side by side. Reid turns his attention back to
the book, and I gaze at the view around me. It’s breathtaking. Nothing
but rolling hills and trees for miles, it’s like we’re on our own little
planet out here. I spy Reid close the book and turn my head as he places
it on the small round table next to his chair. “It was an alright book.”

“Just alright?” I eye him, waiting for whatever might come out of
his mouth next. I stare at his full lips, remembering how soft and delicate
they are against mine and the way he tasted when his tongue danced
with mine. Reid is smiling, like he is reading my mind again, and I
quickly fix my attention on a tree straight ahead.

“I’ve read better, to be honest.”

For some reason, this ignites a flicker of anger in me. It seems like
he is mocking my favorite book. I wouldn’t put it past him. He is known
to mock me about other personal things. I push up out of the chair; the
force I use causes it to rock on its hind legs before settling back in place.
I storm across the deck and slam one of the double doors behind me.

“If he wants to make fun of me, I can be a bitch right back to him,”
I mutter under my breath and make my way up the stairs.

I’m being childish, I know, but I can’t help it. Reid knocks on the
bedroom door several times throughout the day before he finally gives up. I just want to be left alone. The reality of everything that has been
happening has finally caught up with me, and surprisingly, I don’t find
myself crying. I am pissed. Everything I have worked so hard for is
falling apart, being pulled away from me, just like everything else has.

I can’t even go home right now.

I try to call Eli a couple of times on a landline I find in the bedroom,
but he never answers. I call his mom, and she said that he stepped out
for the day. Code for he is standing next to her, but he doesn’t want to
talk to me. Trust me, I know. He’s done this to girls his entire life when
they wouldn’t leave him alone. Now I am one of those girls. I lie face
down, my face buried in the pillow, and scream, letting out all my
frustration on the pillow.

Earlier today, I opened the blackout curtains, hoping that maybe the sun would pull me out of this funk. Now, as the sun is setting — the most gorgeous sunset I have ever laid eyes on — I decide enough
is enough. I’m not going to sulk in the room all day because some dick
didn’t like my favorite book as well as I did. To each their own, right?

I barely make it downstairs before Reid’s lips crash against mine.
A startled cry escapes from my mouth before I silence myself and find
that I am kissing him back. Once again. He pushes my back against the
railing of the stairs, his body forming against mine. His leg presses
between mine, and I can feel his growing erection as his tongue sweeps
across my lips. He tastes just as good as I remember. I run my hands
through his hair, his hands clasp around my waist, and I wrap my legs
around him as he lifts me up in the air. Reid breaks the kiss first, but his lips never leave. He kisses the corner of my mouth, then my chin, and a trail down the side of my neck.

I arch my back and moan with pleasure. Grabbing a fistful of his hair, I yank on his head, which sends him into a fury. Our lips meet
again. He bites my lower lip gently, tugging on it, and I moan for him.
He carries me toward the couch, gently easing me down, and lies on top of me. I run my hands over his back, digging my fingers into his skin and tracing his muscles. Reid’s hand starts to travel underneath
my shirt and begins making his way to the one place I don’t want him
to touch— my scar.

“Wait,” I say breathlessly, “I can’t do this.”

I SHOVE REID OFF
of me as quickly as I can and jump off the couch.
I walk over to the fireplace, wrap my arms around myself, and stare into the glowing flames. That was too close, way too close.
I seriously
cannot kiss him again.
Every time I do, I lose all inhibitions. Reid almost
discovered my ugly truth, the mutilated scar on my stomach. He can’t
ever find out. If he does, that will only lead to questions I can’t answer.
That I will not answer.

This is a mistake. I should have never come here. Why couldn’t I just go with Eli? Being alone and out here with Reid, in the middle of
nowhere, is not good for my raging hormones. I need to get a hold of Eli as soon as I can. I don’t know how much longer I can stay here without
giving in to my desires, something I am not ready to do. Plus, what if Reid is completely disgusted by the scar once he discovers it? That is
another thing I cannot face. I’m already disgusted by it, and I can’t bear
it if a man is too.

“I’m sorry,” Reid whispers. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

I touch my lips with my hand, still swollen and moist from kissing
him. I enjoy kissing him. I more than enjoy it— I love it. For a brief
moment, I regret pushing him off of me. I turn back around and face
him. “Don’t be sorry… I kissed you back.”
And I’d do it again and again.
“It’s just… I can’t. I can’t.” Tears pool in my eyes, and I sigh.

Reid
closes
the
distance
between
us and pulls me into his arms. “Who
broke your heart so badly that you are scared to let anyone else in?”

I r
elease
a deep breath before I allow myself to wrap my arms around
him. I know I
said
no men, but I can’t deny that I want Reid. In every way
possible, including naked in bed. I barely know the man, but I know
enough that, while he may piss me off most of the time, he also ignites
a fire in me that I have never felt before, not even with Jacob.

Jacob…
his name alone reminds me why I cannot allow myself to indulge in Reid.

“I can’t tell you, Reid. Really, I can’t.” I feel Reid tense under my arms
right before he pushes me away like I’m some disease ridden fleabag.

“This is bullshit, Liza. What more do I have to prove to you?”

“Like I’ve said, you haven’t done much to prove otherwise.” I know
this is a lie and that it will hurt Reid, but I don’t have any other choice.
His eyes darken, and I know I’m pushing him away just like I want. “In
fact, you were an ass earlier today.” Not really the truth, but I’ll make
him think that’s how he was.

“I said I was sorry.” Reid glares at me.

“Oh really, when was that? Before you started to kiss me? Before
you bombarded me at the bottom of the stairs as if I was yours for the
taking?” In all honesty, if that is how he apologizes, I could live with
that the rest of my life. “Maybe coming here was a mistake. Maybe I
should leave.” I brush past him with the intention to go upstairs to pack
and call a cab.

“No, don’t…” he calls after me. I stop and look back at him. “You’re
right when you say I haven’t been the nicest guy around, but you really
haven’t given me the chance to show you who I really am.”

“Reid—”

He cuts me off, “No, Liza. Let me finish. I don’t know who it was
that broke your heart, and quite frankly, I don’t really care. What I do
care about is that you have something about you that draws me to you.
I can’t help but to want to kiss you and make love to you.” My heart
stops when he refers to sleeping with me as making love. “I know I
have this sort of bad boy reputation that I can’t settle down and I go through women like candy. I haven’t done much to prove otherwise, as you can see on the Internet. But that’s not really who I am.”

I take a step towards Reid and reach out to take his hand. “Reid—“

“All I am asking for is a chance,” he cuts me off again. “A chance to
prove to you that I am nothing like the guy who broke your heart. I
want a chance to show you that it’s okay to fall in love again and trust
again. I want to be that guy who shows you how to love again.”

His admission takes me by surprise and leaves me speechless. I
wrap my hands around the back of his head and pull his lips to mine.
No sexual intent is fueling the kiss, no exploring hands or lips, just two
people u
ndeniably
attracted
to one another kissing. And what a
kis
s it is.

“Don’t make me regret this,” I say softly against his lips.

“I won’t.”

I hear the truth in his voice. To hell with all my rules. In just the
short
time we have spent together, despite our bickering and my fighting
against the building attraction, I have fallen for him. I dove in head
first with no end in sight, and nothing I could have done would have prevented this from happening.

We finally manage to stop kissing, but we don’t stop touching one
another. We sit down on the couch. I curl up against Reid, and we stare
into the fire, saying nothing at all. For the first time in a long time, I
am perfectly content. Almost. I can’t ignore the nagging thought in the
back of my mind that I need to tell Reid the truth. I need to tell him
everything. I need to be honest. Better that I do it now, get it out in the
open, so he can see the kind of monster I am. And the kind of parents
I am bred from.