If Tomorrow Never Comes (Harper Falls Book 2) (34 page)

Because you're looking with your heart, not your eyes.

Alex was stunned by the thought. So this was love. Full, mature, and in it for the rest of his life, love. What he'd felt for her before felt pale in comparison, like they had been two children playing a game, making up the rules as they went along. Nothing fixed, shifting without any notice. It had been exciting and new—exactly what he'd wanted at the time. But now? Now he wanted stability. He couldn't think of anything more exciting than knowing Dani would always be there at the end of the day. He would be crazy to want more. There wasn't more—she was his everything.

"I should kiss you."

"I agree."

"But I can't seem to stop looking at you."

"Then let me help."

Dani fused herself to him, arms, legs, locked around his body, pulling him down until he blanketed her completely.

"I'm too heavy." Alex tried to shift to the side, but Dani held on tight.

"I like you on top of me. You're like my own personal man-sized teddy bear." She moaned when he ground himself into the v of her spread legs. "Make that my anatomically correct, adults only, teddy bear."

She threaded her fingers through his hair, tugging until his mouth was a breath away. Tracing the outline of his full lower lip with the tip of her tongue, she swiped it once, twice, then bit—just hard enough.

Alex let her play. It wasn't a kiss, but it
was
a really tasty appetizer. Needing to touch, he slid his hand under her shirt.

"How do you need me, hard or soft?" His fingers danced across her skin like a summer breeze, gentle, mellow.

She shook her head. No, that wasn't it. She wanted more.

Feeling her need, he took the hem of her shirt and pulled, tearing it in two, leaving her open to his hungry gaze."

"No bra?" He purred the words approvingly.

"Mmm." Lord, his hands were magic. "You already knew that. I saw you staring during dinner."

"Guilty," he said, not sounding the least bit contrite. "But I needed empirical evidence."

"Empirical? I like it." She practically purred. His mouth was close, and this time she wanted a full on, the world could end tomorrow, kiss.

"Word of the day toilet paper."

She had a clever comeback but lost it and every other train of thought when his lips took hers. Hot, firm, commanding—perfect.

Dani realized her hands were empty. Foot after foot of gorgeous man right at her fingertips and she wasn't taking advantage. She moved hands to his round, firm ass. As touching went, this was a very nice place to start.

"Shirt, off, now. Please!."

With a chuckle, Alex helped her remove the unneeded garment. Then he took her breast, rubbing the tip, his calloused thumb sending shivers through her body. He rolled over, taking her with him, until she was on top, straddling his hips.

Dani made a feast of Alex's bronzed skin, her mouth starting at his shoulders, then trailing down his chest. She tested to see if his nipples were as sensitive as hers, smiling at his sudden intake of breath.

"You like that." She let her tongue taste one then the other, lingering.

"Yes."

"How about this?" she asked, gently cupping his growing arousal.

"Even better."

"Are you sure?" She looked up, her eyes full of mischief. Dani licked and squeezed at the same time. "Which is better?"

Deciding two could play at that game, Alex quickly unfastened her shorts, thrusting his hand between her legs while his mouth took hold of one rosy peaked breast.

"Alex," she cried, gripping his shoulders, the surge of want so strong she almost toppled over.

"Want to choose?"

"No." She sighed. "Greedy. I want both." Grasping his head with both hands she pulled him up. "I want it all."

Her mouth covered his, hot and desperate. They both lost the desire to tease or take it slow. Clothing hit the floor and Alex filled her with one powerful thrust. Dani rode up and down, knowing she wasn't going to last, not even trying. When he called out her name, she tumbled. Wave after wave of pleasure coursed through her body until she was limp, sated. All she could do was cling and hope that he had the strength to keep them from falling over onto the cold, hard floor.

"Hold on."

Dani smiled. Nice of him to read her mind.

Alex arranged her at his side, performing a quick clean up before taking her in his arms, pulling the covers up as protection for their cooling bodies. This was what he'd missed. This…

"Intimacy."

She read his mind.

"Good word," he said, kissing her temple.

Dani burrowed in closer, absorbing his heat. There was no substitute for a post-coital cuddle. It didn't matter what you called it, being in his arms was so much better than being any place else.

They drifted, not really sleeping, not really awake. Alex stayed alert but let himself relax and enjoy having Dani with him. Eventually, they started talking, not about anything, in particular, just random thoughts. As the pleasant lethargy started to lift his mind picked up speed and a question popped into it, one he'd had before, but wouldn't ask. This time, because of their earlier conversation, he didn't keep it to himself.

"Do you ever regret meeting me?"

"What? Of course not."

"There were at least half a dozen guys trying to get your attention that night. If you had gone with one of them instead of me—"

"I wouldn't have, " she said firmly. "Alex, I had no intention of going anywhere with anyone that night. I'd only been there five minutes when I knew that none of the men interested me. And as the night went on my opinion only solidified."

"You looked like you were having a good time." Alex could still vividly remember his first glimpse of her. That dark, spiky hair, her edgy clothes. So damn sexy, all he'd wanted to do was grab her up before somebody beat him to it.

"I was. I loved every minute. The music, the energy. But I had planned on leaving alone. And then this cocky American offered to buy me a drink and all my good intentions flew out of my head."

"I robbed you of your good intentions?" He liked the sound of that. "You never told me."

"I was a little tongue-tied."

"Ha." Alex snorted. That wasn't the way he remembered it. "We never stopped talking."

"That's what I do when I'm nervous." They were lying on their sides, face to face. Dani used one finger to trace the line of his eyebrow, the slope of his nose, that wonderfully distracting lower lip. "I thought you were so gorgeous, I couldn't think straight. But the more we talked, the more comfortable I became. I stopped rambling and began to carry on an actual conversation."

"I was so busy looking into your eyes for the first hour that you could have recited the Gettysburg Address and I would have been enthralled."

"Are sure it was my eyes that held you attention?" Dani teased. "I seem to recall a few glances at my breast area."

"I may have peaked," Alex admitted. "I hadn't been with a woman in two months."

"What?"

"Didn't I mention that at the time?"

"You did not." Dani shook her head, amazed. "Well, kudos for your restraint. You could have had me that first night."

"Don't think I wasn't tempted." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the palm, then cupped it against his cheek, holding it there. "But I wanted you so much I was afraid I would embarrass myself. When I gave you time to change your mind, I meant it, I really did want you to be sure. But I also wanted to make sure I could last longer than a few seconds."

"So, you what? Went back to your place and…"

"Three times," he shrugged, grinning as her green eyes widened in surprise. "That's what long, hot showers are for, letting the evidence wash away down the drain."

"I had no idea, though I'm not sure what I would have thought at the time. My air of worldly sophistication was pretty much an act."

"No," Alex gasped in mock amazement.

Dani playfully stuck out her tongue.

"Well, whatever you did to tide yourself over, you certainly had plenty left in the tank that night."

"Baby, I was twenty-five and had the most beautiful woman I had ever seen naked and willing. I could have kept going for a week."

"Actually, you did. For two weeks, to be exact."

"We did manage to occasionally get out of the room." Alex smiled at the memory. "You had a job to do and I needed food to keep up with you."

"I was all enthusiasm and no technique." Lord, she had been young. "I was practically shaking that first night, afraid you'd figure out that you were my first blowjob."

"I had no idea." But knowing she'd never gotten on her knees for any man before him gave him a real primal zing.

"God, Lord," Dani laughed. "You like that knowing that, don't you."

"Ugh." Alex used his fists to pound his chest a few times.

"Well, my point was, for all my sexually aggressive behavior, I was learning as I went." She stretched herself out on top of him. "And you were a great teacher."

Alex shifted, once more fully aroused. He might have been a few years older, but he could still go all night—if Dani were his inspiration.

"So," he spun her onto her back. "No regrets?"

"None." She smoothed back his hair, her eyes meeting his. The truth of her words was there for him to see. "Now, shut up and kiss me."

DANI AWOKE WITH a start.

Something was wrong. There was a noise. Suddenly, she realized it was Alex, muttering in his sleep, his body restlessly thrashing from side to side.

"Why?"

The shouted word had Dani rushing across the barracks until she was kneeling beside Alex's bed. She turned on the nearby lamp and what she saw made her gasp in distress. The sheets were in a twisted heap, tangled around his lower legs. Sweat covered his body, his movements jerky, almost painful looking. It was the torment etched on his face that broke her heart. Whatever he was dreaming about must have been agonizing. To think he suffered this over and over again tore through Dani's guts like a dull knife. She couldn't stop them from recurring, but at least she could pull him out of this one.

"Alex." She gently shook his arm. "Alex, it's me, Dani, please, wake up."

"No!"

Alex reared up, ready to kill or be killed. He grabbed at the arm holding the gun. Break it, his mind screamed.

Alex
. He heard his name but who was calling? Not one of his men, not his enemy. He struggled to get out of the nightmare, struggled towards that calming voice. His eyes popped open, his breath labored and found Dani, tears running down her cheeks.

"Baby, why are you…"

Then he saw why. His hand was wrapped around her wrist, the grip so hard he couldn't believe he hadn't snapped the fragile bone in half.

"Jesus." He jerked away in horror, backing away a fast as he could. "What did I do?"

"Nothing," Dani assured him in a soothing voice, though her heart was racing a mile a minute. "You were dreaming, I woke you."

"Are you crazy?" Alex stumbled from the bed, his legs shaky and caught in the sheets. "Never, never come near me when I'm having a nightmare. I could have…" He ran a hand through his hair. He didn't want to think what he might have done to her.

"I'm fine." She crossed to him, tentatively placing a hand on his arm. Alex flinched but didn't pull away. "You didn’t hurt me."

"What do you call that?" Alex nodded at her wrist. "It's going to bruise. I did that, I put a mark on you."

Alex thought for a moment he might be sick. It was his worst fear come true. He was a monster and Dani had to stay as far away from him as possible.

"Snap out of it," Dani shouted. "Now, or I swear I will put my hands on you and you will come away with a lot more than a lousy bruise."

"Damn it, Dani, you need to—"

"What I need to do is tell you to keep quiet and listen." Dani took his hand, ignoring his attempt to pull away, and led him to her bed.

"Sit."

"Dani…"

This time she just gave him a look—he sat.

"You did not hurt me." He started to argue, but she plowed ahead. "Will I have a bruise, probably. But that's on me. I could have pulled away, I chose not to. You needed me, an anchor, to help you get out of that nightmare."

"You've been crying."

Dani's wiped her hand over her face, surprised to find it damp.

"I was crying for you, for your pain, not mine."

What could he say to that? Except he
had
hurt her. Physically and emotionally.

"No, don't you dare." She knew where his brain was taking him and she wasn't having it. "If you start treating me like a china doll then we will have a problem. For the first time, I got a glimpse of what you go through when you have those dreams, and I didn’t run, I didn't melt into a helpless heap of girl goo."

Girl goo. He almost smiled over that one.

"There, I saw your lips twitch." She sat beside him. Letting him take her wrist, watching as he smoothed the reddened skin.

"I know you want to think this was the worst that could happen, but I can't guarantee it."

"I do think it's as bad as it will get. But, I know you're worried. So here's what we're going to do. Tomorrow night I'm moving one bed closer. Then the next night, one more, then one more. You get the idea."

"I want to argue."

"But why bother?" Dani's smile lit up the dark room. "See? It's just so much easier when you give in to the inevitable. Now lie down. No," she assured him. "I'm not climbing in with you tonight. But your bed is a mess and needs new sheets. You need to rest, so tonight you take my bed and I will make up that one." She pointed. "Notice, one bed closer."

Alex settled back and let her tuck him in, leaving him with a gentle kiss on his brow. She was right, it was easier to give in, mostly because he just wanted to. He hoped she was right about everything. Time would tell. For tonight he was going to sleep on a pillow that smelled like Dani, and she was—closer.

THE MAN WATCHED the light in the barracks window go off. Actually, this was the second time, the first being several hours earlier. He would have liked his observation point to have been closer, but he didn't have the time or the resources to slip past the excellent security Alex's friends employed. At another time, he would have enjoyed the challenge, certain he could have cracked it. Unfortunately, his schedule was tight. Besides, all he was doing at the moment was looking.