If You Still Want Me (25 page)

"I'm sorry for exploding."

Alex stretches up on his tiptoes and kisses
Joey's cheek. "I understand what you were trying to do, but I wish
you had told me your real reasons for wanting to leave."

"I know. I'm sorry about that, too."

"It's okay, honey. You can
make it up to me by letting your dad show me
all
the pictures."

"That is so unfair," Joey
groans again as Alex starts tugging him into the living room. "Just
remember, I had
three
older sisters
who thought dressing me up was a good hobby."

I'm giggling at them from the doorway. They
really are sweet, and seein' people in love like that always makes
me happy. A crack sounds behind me right as a sting snaps across my
ass. "Ow! Dang, cowboy! Do I look like a draft-horse to you?"

"That's for spying," he speaks in that low,
rumbling voice that gives me the good kinda chills. Then, he cracks
the towel across my ass again.

I give a playful, over-exaggerated yelp and rub
my ass. "An' what the heck was that for?"

"Abandoning your post," Vickie points at the
spot beside her where two more plates are already waiting to be
dried. "Keep it up, and we'll have to punish you later."

Austin twirls the towel up tight. "Behave, and
we have a reward planned."

That gets my legs moving back to the counter
while I try to decide which I like the sound of more for tonight -
the reward or the punishment. I figure with the two 'a them, either
would be a damn good thing. Another crack across my ass pulls me
outta my daydreamin' again. I wipe away my drool and start dryin'
the dishes.

Austin's back pocket starts buzzin', so he steps
away for a second to answer his cell. "Evenin', boss." Guess it's
Brandon, checkin' in on his wayward friends. "Yeah, we're good. ...
Yes, sir. We did." His cheeks blush a little. "Yes, sir. ... Hold
on, I'll ask." He looks up to us. "Brandon was wondering when we're
heading home?"

"I was thinking tomorrow, right after church,"
Vickie answers loud enough for it to carry into the phone. "I know
the Mesquite contract needs to be finalized on Monday."

"You get that, boss? ... What? ... Shit," Austin
curses. My nerves are all at attention as his gaze locks on me.
"Yes, sir. I'll tell him. ... Okay, see you tomorrow. Bye."

Fuck. I do
not
like the look that's on Austin's face. Not. One.
Bit. An' somethin' tells me I'm about ta' like what's gonna come
outta his mouth even less.

Austin takes in a deep breath, flicks his gaze
over to Vickie them back to me. "Rob's home."

"What?" My head cocks left. "His tour aint
supposed ta' be over for another six months."

"He's been discharged," Austin explains, taking
a step towards me with hands up, like I'm a spooked horse that may
run. Vickie seems ta' read his mind 'bout somethin' I aint rightly
understandin', 'cause she's behind me now, with her hands on my
arms.

"Brandon doesn't know the details," he
continues, "but apparently it had something to do with Rob's
drinking problem, and maybe PTSD. He's home with Sarah now, but
Brandon's worried. Something sounded off in Sarah's voice,
according to Brandon. He wants us home before something blows up,
or before Kyle does something stupid."

"Son-of-a," Fuck! All my good
feelings, along with my arousal, plummets like a dead weight in my
chest. Rob being home early, an' being discharged from the service,
is
bad
. Brandon has every good
sense ta' be concerned. Hell, I'm tempted ta' catch a flight home
right now.

Vickie's fingers clutch my arms. "I'll explain
things to Daddy, and we can leave first thing tomorrow
morning."

I twitch, 'cause once again my problems are
interfering with Vickie's life. "I'll just catch me a flight
tonight. You an' Austin can-"

"No." Austin's hands are on
top of Vickie's now, squeezin', as he looks me square in the eyes.
"We do everything
together
,
remember? It's too late for us to get on the road now, but we'll
head out first light."

"But-"

"All three of us," Vickie quiets my argument
with a kiss to my shoulder. "Daddy will understand. This is
family."

I've never been much of a morning person, so
when Austin offers to drive at seven-fifteen a.m., I fall in love
with him a little bit more. He's used to being alert this early,
working with Brandon's horses, which is good because Saul is about
as skittish as I've ever seen him. I don't think the boy could much
hold a thought right now, let alone drive or focus on road
signs.

Sarah's his baby sister; his little,
blond-headed baby-doll to protect from the whole world. Been that
way since we were kids, back when his dad started hurting Saul and
threatening to hurt Sarah. Sarah doesn't know how bad it got. Saul
doesn't want her haunted the same way he is.

Saul is one of the bravest men I know. It's a
burden no man, let alone a kid barely past his love of dinosaurs
and sandboxes, should be forced to carry. But he did. He carried
the weight around his neck so Sarah wouldn't have to. It was how
that bastard kept him quiet all those years.

Saul never got over the need to protect Sarah.
She's his sacred angel - the good light to come out of something so
horrible. She bears that weight, I suppose - being the embodiment
of all Saul's hopes and ideals of purity. I think it's worn her
down a bit over the years, but he refuses to tell her everything,
and it's not my place to do otherwise.

We're two hours on the road when Tabitha calls.
Expecting a tirade for leaving without saying goodbye or attending
church, I reluctantly answer after directing Austin to stop at the
next place he sees where I can get a decent cup of coffee. I have a
feeling I'm going to need lots of it to get through today.

Tabitha, however, continues to shock the living
spirit out of me by asking if we're all okay and then ending the
conversation by commanding me to call her when we get safely back
to Dallas to let them know if Sarah is okay, too. Like Saul, Sarah
kind of became an adopted member of our family. Those two spent
more time at our house than their own growing up, even after their
mom finally kicked their dad out of the house.

Not like that lasted.

Lord, I've wanted to slap that woman silly for
as long as I can remember. It's not all her fault, I suppose. The
woman's life aint exactly been a rose parade, and she's got no
spine to speak of, but excuses are still excuses. Few years later,
she was calling Saul a liar and moved her ass down to San Antonio
to live with that bastard. At least she didn't have anymore kids
with him.

Looks like Sarah's struggling
to keep from following in her mother's footsteps. Pregnant in high
school. Dropped out and married before graduation to a man with
questionable character. Now she's living in a house that should've
been left to rot decades ago, with two kids and a husband who's
hardly there even when he is. Rob may not touch his kids
that
way, but he sure as hell don't treat
Sarah right. Maybe that's why she keeps going back to Kyle, over
and over again.

Rob's had it rough, too, I suppose. Barely
graduated thanks to a push from his football coach but not good
enough to get a college scholarship, he joined the service straight
out after knocking Sarah up, then came back all kinds of messed up.
War will ruin a good, strong-willed person. It'll tear a dickless
son of a bitch like Rob to shreds and shit them out the other
end.

"Here, darlin'," Austin snaps me out of my
thoughts, passing me over a coffee and a white paper bag. Wow, my
mind is all over the place today. I didn't even realized we'd
pulled into a Dunkin' Doughnuts drive-thru.

"Thanks." I set the coffee into the holder next
to his then peek in the bag. An apple fritter. My favorite. I try
not to giggle like a teenager, but Austin's chuckle next to me
tells me I'm failing. "Thanks, sweetie."

He winks then nods towards the back. Saul's
passed out cold, his tall form folded across the bench seat and
white headphones plugged into his ears. "I bought him an apple
juice and a box of doughnut holes, but maybe we should let him
sleep."

"He didn't sleep a wink last night."

"I know," Austin swallows a yawn, setting down
Saul's food into the middle console tray before pulling back onto
the road. "He kept rolling between the two of us. I think he
finally settled sideways around three this morning."

"Sorry you got the feet," I try not to laugh. "I
know he kicks."

Austin reaches down and rubs his ribcage. "Like
a dang mule." A glance into the rear-view mirror creases his face
with worry-lines. "Should we try calling Sarah again?"

"I don't know how much good it would do. She's
ignoring Saul completely right now for what happened with Kyle, and
she probably thinks we're on his side."

"We are."

"We are," I agree, "But, we need to be on her
side, too. I don't know how much Saul's told you, or what all
you've figured out on your own, but it's complicated. They're both
messed-up."

The worry in his eyes is
replaced with a storm so dark, it tells me he knows
everything
. A few, muttered curses in
Spanish pass his lips and his grip on the steering wheel turns his
knuckles white. "Only thing that saved that bastard who dared call
himself Saul's dad," he hisses in a hushed tone, "is that he's
living in San Antonio and my probation didn't let me go that far.
Now, I care too much about you two to throw it away on some
pendejo.
Don't mean I won't knock his head
off if I ever meet him."

"I feel the same, but Sarah
doesn't know half of what we do, Austin," my voice carries a small
warning. "She knows their daddy beat Saul for a past-time, and that
Saul was
touched
a few times. She
doesn't know just how far that touching actually went, and that's
how Saul wants it to stay."

Austin lets out a long breath, his stomach
probably as unsettled as mine by the topic we're discussing.
"Alright. You know his secrets about that are safe with me."

"I know, sweetie. We've all been kinda dancing
around on eggshells about it between those two for so long. The
eggs are bound to break someday, but it's gotta be Saul's
doing."

"He deserves that right," Austin agrees with a
tight nod. "After everything that was taken from him..."

Pulling his hand away from the steering wheel, I
kiss it, closing my eyes in deeply-felt gratitude that I have
someone else I can talk about these painful things with; someone
who I know, deep down in his marrow, feels exactly the same way I
do about everything concerning Saul. Giving his hand back, we share
a smile before my thoughts turn back to Sarah.

"He thinks he's protecting her from the horror,
and I guess he is, even as he keeps her from knowing the truth
about what her only brother went through. All she knows for sure is
that Saul is over-protective, doesn't approve of her husband, her
living situation or her relationship with Kyle."

Austin glances to the mirror again. "What
exactly is the deal with Kyle?"

"No one knows the whole story, except Kyle and
Sarah. They've been sweet on each other since before the other boys
stopped worrying about catching cooties from girls. Saul had a
strict 'hands-off the baby sister' rule for his friends, but Kyle's
always been a rule-breaker."

I pause to test my coffee's temperature before
taking a sip. "I don't think anything could've kept those two
apart. Even as kids, Kyle and Sarah had that look..."

"Like the three of us?" Austin grins.

"Exactly," I give a laughing sigh. "And exactly
like what happened with us, Saul couldn't see what was right in
front of him."

Austin glances in the mirror for a third time,
deep love in his eyes. "Captain Oblivious."

"Aint that the truth," I
giggle a tiny bit as I look over my shoulder at Saul's sleeping
face. "Rest of us figured it out, but agreed not to tell Saul. Kyle
promised he would eventually, but he was always afraid of breaking
up our group. Saul was
that
protective of Sarah. Got in plenty of fights at school over
it."

I take another sip of coffee, my head full with
memories. "He almost didn't go to U.T. with us, even after all the
work we'd put into getting his scholarships. He was afraid to leave
her alone. She finally put her foot down and packed his boxes
herself, but by then, something had started to go wrong between her
and Kyle, too. Just as the four of us got settled into our campus
apartment, she broke it off with Kyle via text."

"Ouch," Austin winces. "She didn't want to do a
long distance relationship?"

"We figured that might be the reason, but we
really don't know. Few months later, she was engaged to Rob after
he'd knocked her up, and Kyle figured she'd been cheating on him
for a while."

"Then Rob married her," Austin scratches the
stubble on his chin in thought. "Saul's told me that much of the
story. Rob couldn't get a scholarship on his football, so he went
military instead of McDonald's. Guess he came back a bit shook up
and started drinking?"

"Understatement," I huff then drown my
bitterness in a long swig from my coffee. I take a few bites off
the apple fritter, hoping to sweeten my mood a bit. Damn thing is
good, but my nerves don't give in to the sugary high.

"He's always been a drinker, even back in high
school. Friday night lights and beer went hand in hand where we
schooled. When his football started tanking due to a knee injury,
he started tanking with the help of Jack Daniels. He sobered up
when Sarah got pregnant though, and for a while it seemed like he'd
cleaned his shit up for her and the baby. It didn't last."