If You Still Want Me (22 page)

"I know so." I peck a kiss onto his cheek then
take a step back to peruse the mountain of groceries. "What ya need
me ta' do, amigo?"

His shoulders flex through another deep breath
as he sets down the can. "You can come back here and hold me until
my heart calms down."

"We both can," I say, glancing over my shoulder
as I feel eyes on us. "Can't we, Vickie?"

"Absolutely," she smiles, joining us.

We each take a side, boxing Austin in and
squeezing away his worries. From behind us, Alex and Joey look on,
caught in their own embrace. If it's one thing the Blue Bayou house
has today in abundance, it's love.

Austin may be nervous about impressing my folks,
but I'm downright petrified of disappointing my father. Tonight is
going to be a big night for everyone, but I hope I have a few
minutes to talk to him alone. I need to make sure he's okay with
this. That he's happy for me. That he isn't ashamed.

If he is ashamed, then I don't know what I can
do to change that. Probably nothing. I've promised myself, though,
that I won't let it come between me and Saul or Austin.

After doing some of the prep-work at Blue Bayou,
we take everything over to Daddy's house. He's at the hospital with
Jerry, which is good because it gives all of us more time for our
nerves to settle. Joey's pacing as Alex and he share hushed
conversation. Austin's trying not to cut his finger off as he chops
onions with a shaky hand, and Saul's doing his best to keep
everyone in good spirits.

I can tell he's a little nervous, too, despite
his efforts to hide it. His heart's riding high on the hope that
it'll all work out. At least I have Austin to help me catch him if
that hope falls apart.

The edges of it start to crumble when Joey gets
a call from Ruth. She relays two unwelcome bits of information
amidst apologies and sniffles as Joey puts her on speaker.
Michael's not coming to dinner, and despite doctor's
recommendations, Tabitha is.

"Stubborn," Joey sighs as he hangs up the phone.
"She's gonna rip her stitches just so she can come give me a piece
of her mind."

My eyes are on the ceiling as a migraine
threatens to surface. "She doesn't even know about me, yet. Well,
unless Jerry... Dammit."

Of course Jerry would've told her. That man, God
bless his loving heart, can't keep anything from Tabitha.

"She had to find out eventually," Saul says from
behind me. His hands are on my shoulders, trying to rub out the
kinks. "Damn, your shoulders are as tense as Austin's."

"I probably have them both beat," Joey
mutters.

"It'll be okay," Alex smiles up at my brother,
but I catch the worry in his glossy blue eyes as they join
hands.

Joey brings their joined hands to his lips,
kissing Alex's fingers. "I'm just glad you're here."

"Me, too."

Aw
, that's so sweet, I
can't help but smile. Alex is shorter than I pictured, and a bit
more boyish, but he actually suits Joey well. The love between them
is obvious and uplifting. I'm glad my brother's found someone to
share his life with.

"Hey, Francis!" Austin calls from the
kitchen.

"Yes, Wilfredo?" Joey snorts
as Alex mouths a shocked '
Wilfredo?'
.

"Where's your dad keep his colander?"

"I'll show you."

"Can I help?" Alex asks as we all pile back into
the kitchen where Austin's prepping some rice.

"Sure,
Ferdinand
," Austin grins with a wink at
Alex as Joey flinches. "That cheese needs to be grated."

"You..." Alex pivots slowly, picks up an oven
mitt and wallops Joey across the chest. "You told him?!"

"Figured we could start a club," Joey chuckles
as Alex tries not to laugh while continuing to beat my brother with
the oven mitt.

The five of us fill Daddy's
kitchen with laughter until around three-thirty, when Ruthy makes
it six. She keeps apologizing for Michael's
'
stupidity'
, but I keep telling her
it's okay. The man has a right to his beliefs. I only wish it
wasn't hurting Ruth.

Apparently, Michael put up a stink when Ruth
wanted to bring their little boy, Jonah, to dinner. As if being
around family will do any harm to the kid. The ideas some people
get in their heads...

Ruth put her foot down about that, and maybe her
foot up Michael's ass, because she brought Jonah anyway. He's been
glued to Alex's hip for the past hour. Ruth's thankful for the
freedom to relax and help cook, and I think Joey's about to melt
into a pile of goo with the way he keeps grinning over at Alex and
Jonah from across the kitchen.

"He's good with kids," I whisper to Joey as we
start setting the table.

Daddy and Jerry should be home with Tabitha any
minute. I'm trying not to think about it too much, but I can feel
the nerves shaking my hands as I set down a plate. I'm stronger
than this, but it's hard to stay calm when so much has changed so
quickly.

"He's
great
with kids," Joey sighs contently, walking around
the table with silverware. "At least that's one thing we don't have
to worry about. Gay couples can adopt without a problem. Funny how
they're okay with that, but... Sorry.
So
don't want to get into that tonight."

I nod, not carrying the subject of marriage any
further. "But, you guys do want to adopt a kid?"

"Kid
s
, as in plural; as in
Alex wants three or four rugrats running around playing dress-up
and building cushion forts. He grew up an only child, but used to
babysit a lot for neighbors." Joey laughs with a quiet snort. "He
said that a house without Lego-landmines in the carpet isn't a
home."

I have to laugh at that, because I used to get
Joey's Lego bricks embedded in the bottoms of my feet for a
pastime. Putting down the last plate, I loop an arm around Joey's
waist. "He seems like a really good man. I happy for you."

Joey sets an arm around my shoulders and
squeezes, then exhales. "But...?"

I laugh into his side. This boy knows me too
well. "But, I wish you two weren't moving to the great white
north."

"It's Minnesota, not Canada."

"Might as well be," a scowl
creases my brow against my attempts to remain neutral. I don't want
to be a winy toddler about it, but I also have the urge to stomp my
feet, pout my lip and shout my displeasure. "It's too far. Think
about Daddy-"

"Don't, Tori," his voice carries a warning to
drop it.

I've never really been one to heed that kind of
warning. "Alex wants kids, and that's great, but what about
grandparents? Daddy'll want to be part of their lives, and yours.
What about Alex's parents?"

"I've made my decision," he states flatly, his
hand dropping from my shoulder. "I'm gonna go check the sweet
tea."

He leaves me there with my
mouth hung open. Joey has
never
spoken to me that way before, or shut me out of what he's
really thinking. I don't understand it, and it's left a festering
itch under my skin and a wound on my heart.

In a cursed blessing, I'm not given much time to
simmer about Joey's attitude before Tabitha blows into the house
like Hurricane Katrina's second coming. Luckily, Jerry and Daddy
aren't far behind to rescue us from the storm. I think Tabitha
being doped-up on a few medications is also our saving grace.

"Sweetie," Jerry coos as Tabitha's eyes glare
over the activity in the kitchen. "Why don't you sit down at the
table. The doctor said not to stand too much yet. Besides, Tori
would love more cuddling by her momma."

Tabitha huffs a bit, but a
wince of pain speaks for her. I help Jerry get her settled with
baby Tori. Jerry disappears into the kitchen, but Tabitha holds
onto my hand as I start to stand back up. "That
him
?" She nods towards Alex.

"That's Alex," I reply. "Joey's boyfriend."

Her grip tightens around my fingers. "Ruth okay
with her baby in some stranger's arms?"

"You know that's wrong to say. Alex is great
with children. Just look at Jonah's smile."

She goes silent, watching as Joey introduces
Alex to Daddy and Jerry. Jerry grins and shifts Tessa to his other
hip so he can shake Alex's free hand, as simply as if they were two
dads meeting at the park. Alex offers the hand to Daddy, but Daddy
ignores it and pulls Alex into a hug instead. The relieved,
joy-filled smile on Alex's face is heartwarming.

"It's not right," Tabitha mutters with a tsking
cluck of her tongue.

"For you," I correct.

A heavy sigh stutters her chest as Tori gurgles
and snuggles more deeply into Tabitha's chest. "That one yours,
then?"

I follow her eyes towards Austin's back as he
faces the stove. Guess I was right about Jerry spilling the beans.
"That's Austin. He's mine, and Saul's."

Tabitha's head slowly shakes, her lips a tight
line. I know she wants to say something - tell me I'm wrong, or
crazy, or both. I probably am a little crazy, but that's my boys'
fault for driving so damn nuts.

"I don't understand it," she
finally says, her eyes narrowing a bit as Saul slides a hand up
Austin's back. "I really do
not
understand it, Victoria. None of it. I-"

"I love them both, Tabi, and they both love me.
They also love each other. What else is there to understand? Other
people's love doesn't have to make sense to anyone else."

She sighs again, so I squeeze her hand. "Jerry
loves you and you love Jerry. Simple as that, right?"

"God blessed me with that man," Tabitha agrees
in a rare lowering of her defenses. "But, it's not the same."

"You're absolutely right. It's not the same. No
love is, but that doesn't make it wrong."

Her mouth opens then shuts. A
tight breath huffs through her nose. She shifts the baby then
glances up at me. "I want to be a good sister, but I can't lie,
either. I don't know if I'll ever understand or approve of it. That
goes for you
and
Joey. It makes me
uncomfortable."

Just as I'm about to offer a rebuttal, she
brings our joined hands up to eye-level. "But it doesn't make me
love either of you any less."

Stunned silent and momentarily stupid, all I can
manage is a smiling nod and a rub of my thumb across the back of
her fingers. I'm not sure what Daddy and Jerry have been talking to
her about while at the hospital, or if perhaps this unexpectedly
calm and reasonable response from her can somehow be attributed to
her meds and postpartum hormones, but I'll take it over the
shit-storm I'd been waiting for.

"There's my other girls," Daddy's uplifted voice
greets us as he comes to sit at the table. "Figured I better come
sit in here 'fore I start taking bites outta everything. I'm
starving, and the smells comin' outta that kitchen... Sweet mercy,
that boy Austin can cook!"

Tabitha lets go of my hand with a snort. "Which
is a blessing, I'm sure, because Lord knows Victoria can't."

"Hey, now," I laugh, because it's true. If it
aint microwaveable, I don't buy it.

"So true," Ruth comments as she sits down with
Jonah on her lap then shrugs at us. "Boys kicked me out."

"And me," Alex smiles sheepishly as he sits next
to Ruth, now with Tessa on his hip. An uneasy glance shifts to
Tabitha. "Congratulations on your new baby, ma'am."

I hold my breath then let it slowly out as
Tabitha replies with a kind smile. "Thank you. You seem to be good
with kids. Tessa don't much take to strangers."

"Joey says I'm a kid-magnet. Can't help it.
They're fun. So, I'm perfectly fine with being kicked out of the
kitchen to entertain miss Tessa here." He pauses to make a
googly-face, to which Tessa claps with gibberish-filled approval.
"I'm not much help in a kitchen, honestly. Joey's a much better
cook."

"Then I suggest you two take cooking classes
together," Tabitha chuckles. "That boy once burnt a whole turkey to
ash."

Alex's baby-blues go wide. "He never told me."
With a lean forward, he meets Tabitha's gaze. "Please, do tell me
more."

Tabitha's lip twitches into a smirk. "Well-"

"She'll do no such thing," Joey's voice startles
them both, flushing Alex's cheeks bright red. Joey sets down two,
piping-hot tortilla warmers while giving Tabitha a questioning
glance.

She meets the glance then shrugs. "I figure the
boy could use some ammo against your antics."

Daddy's grin goes from ear to ear. "I could
always bring out the picture albums."

Joey gulps. "You wouldn't."

Ruth hoots. "Remember how big his ears were in
the third grade?"

"Or the fourth grade?" I join
in. "Braces
and
glasses."

"Now, wait just a minute," Joey's trying to talk
over us as Saul carries in a huge ceramic dish filled with
enchiladas. "Saul, back a brother up!"

Saul pats Joey's shoulder. "You weren't so bad
with the braces and glasses. But, in the sixth grade, you got that
weird idea in your head that every occasion called for a bow
tie."

"They're fashionable!" he scoffs, sending us all
into laughter.

"So," Alex snickers. "That explains the box of
bow ties in your closet. I'd begun to think you had a crush on Bill
Nye or something."

Ruth leans over with a mischievous glint. "Where
do you think he got the idea? Boy used to watch that science show
like a second religion!"

"Ruthy," Joey whines, his head in his hands.
"Great, now my boyfriend thinks I'm a nerd."

Alex reaches up and takes Joey's hand. "I
already knew that, hon. Your rock collection kinda gave you
away."