If You Want Me (26 page)

Rosa heaved a weary sigh. “Because I don’t want us to go on like this any longer. And because seeing you pass out on that stage…it scared me to death. I don’t want any more animosity between us. Life is too short for that.”

“Are we supposed to have a touching mother-daughter moment now, Mother?” Alice stared at her in disbelief. “Because it’s not that easy. Not after everything.”

“I know, I know. But Alice, you’re my baby and I love you. If there’s a chance we can work past all the misunderstandings, we have to try.”

“Because you’re my mother.” Alice couldn’t hide the sarcasm from her voice.

Rosa hesitated, then said, “Yes. Yes, that’s exactly why.”

Alice rolled her head to the right, glancing away. She couldn’t believe how much it hurt to hear what she had longed to hear for years. And her own unwillingness to simply forgive her mother also shocked her. But she had changed.

“Why didn’t you love me?” Alice asked, facing Rosa again. “Why didn’t you believe in me?”

“I do love you,” Rosa said, stressing the words. “Oh, I know I stopped showing it. I realize now that I pushed you away. But I always loved you. Always.”

Tears stung Alice’s eyes. So her mother knew. Knew that something had been wrong, that somehow she hadn’t conveyed to Alice the love she’d so craved. She’d never doubted that her mother loved Marie—tall, slender, beautiful, perfect Marie. But her? She’d never been quite sure.

“Is it because I wasn’t beautiful enough?”

A pained expression crossed Rosa’s face. “Is that what you think?”

“I don’t know what to think.”

Rosa moaned softly. “Oh, I guess I can’t blame you. You must have been so confused. Ever since you went through my jewelry box a couple days ago, I realized that I should finally tell you the truth.”

“About you and Uncle Winston?”

Rosa closed her eyes and nodded slowly.

“So you
were
having an affair.”

“No, not an affair,” Rosa quickly replied. “But he was the love of my life.”

A knot of anger formed in Alice’s chest. How could her mother betray her father like this? “What about Dad?”

“I was in love with Winston before your father
and I got involved. We’d dated for a year and I had hoped he would ask me to marry him. But he had dreams of being an actor.

“Oh, sweetheart. Your uncle, he was so obsessed with Hollywood. Nothing would stand in the way of his dream. Not even me. He asked me to go to L.A. with him, but I told him I didn’t want to leave Chicago. I thought he wouldn’t leave me, but he did. Said he had to go to L.A. to make a go of it. But he promised he’d return for me. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and I got more and more depressed. But finally he came home, and it was the happiest day of my life.

“I had no idea he was returning to break up with me. I begged him to try and work things out, but he told me he’d fallen in love with someone else. Someone who understood his hopes and dreams, unlike me.”

“Aunt Sara,” Alice said softly.

Rosa nodded. “When he left, your father comforted me. And one thing led to another. We ended up married, and the rest is history.”

It was finally making sense. Her mother had been afraid of losing her the same way she had lost the love of her life. Unfortunately, where her daughter was concerned, Rosa hadn’t learned the error of her past ways, that pushing someone away could backfire. “So, you…never truly loved Dad?”

“I loved him, Alice. But not in the same way that I loved Winston. But bless your father’s soul, he always loved me with all his heart.

“There’s something else you should know. Something I never told you before. Your Uncle Winston died of a drug overdose.”

“I know,” Alice said softly. “Aunt Sara told me. She wanted me to prepare me for the negative side of Hollywood.”

“I see.” Rosa glanced at the floor, then back at Alice. “She did the right thing. Maybe knowing the dangers helped you keep a level head.” She paused. “Your father and I both thought you and Marie were too young to know the truth, and as you got older…the time never seemed right to tell you…” Rosa’s voice trailed off, and Alice realized that even after all this time, Winston’s loss was still painful to her. “When I’d first heard, I was so mad at the world, so mad at Hollywood, so mad at Sara. I could have dealt with losing his love as long as he was still breathing. But I had you and Marie to take care of, so I had to go on. Concentrating on my family helped me get over my broken heart, but I soon started to worry about you. Because you had dreams of acting, like your uncle. Alice, that scared me to death. I did everything to discourage you, and I know that hurt you. But I didn’t do it because I didn’t believe in you—I could tell from the start that you were talented. I did it because I didn’t want to lose you the same way I’d lost Winston.”

Alice’s heart fluttered. “You thought I was talented?”

“Of course I did. That was obvious.”

All this time, Alice had had no clue how her mother really felt. If she had told her once, just once, that she’d believed in her, it would have made a world of difference. Still, putting herself in her mother’s shoes, she could understand her mother’s fears. Now, everything made sense. “Mom…” Alice’s voice was strained with emotion. “You don’t
know how much I wish I had heard those words from you years ago.”

Tears filled Rosa’s eyes. “I know, and I’m so sorry, Alice. For how I treated you, for not supporting your dreams. For giving you that crazy ultimatum when I really wanted to take you in my arms and tell you how much I loved you. As time passed and you didn’t come home, I didn’t know how to bridge the gap. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I felt abandoned by you, the way Winston had abandoned me, even though I was the one who told you not to come home.

“But even when you were gone, I was so very proud of you. That’s why I collected all those articles about your success over the years—and all the photos you’d sent to Marie. It was a way to feel close to you.”

“But you were so angry when I came home. So distant.”

“I was still hurting. But now I realize I have to accept the blame for that. I brought on that pain—not you.” She paused, sighed. “And I’m so sorry that I asked if you’d ever done drugs. When that story came out, part of me wondered—not because I really believed you’d ever abuse drugs—but because I couldn’t help remembering your uncle. Oh, I hope I’m making sense.”

This was all so overwhelming, Alice’s head hurt from supressing her tears. But her heart, finally, felt light. “Yes, Mom. I finally understand.”

“If I could turn back the hands of time, I’d do everything differently.” When Rosa’s voice broke, Alice’s heart broke too. She’d seen her mother cry once in her life, at her father’s funeral, and Alice
now felt helpless. She did all she knew how to do. She extended her hand and when her mother took it, she gripped it as if her very life depended on it.

“I should have been a better mother. I should have been able to help you through all those years when you seemed so lost. But I just didn’t want to encourage you, because I didn’t want to lose you the way I lost Winston.”

“All these years, you never said anything. I never knew…”

“That I cared?”

Alice didn’t respond, for how could she tell her mother that that was exactly what she’d been thinking? That her mother knew brought tears to her eyes.

“I know we can’t turn back the clock, but if you can find it in your heart to forgive me…”

“Oh, Mom.” Alice squeezed her hand tighter. “I forgive you.”

“My sweet baby.” Standing, Rosa leaned over the bed and embraced Alice. “I love you.”

Tears streamed down the side of Alice’s face as warmth filled her heart. “I love you too, Mom.”

Alice squeezed her mother tighter, feeling blessed. It had taken thirty-one years, but she finally had the mother she’d always longed for.

“What happened to me yesterday?” Alice asked when her mother pulled back from her.

“You didn’t look right from the moment I saw you. Sorta spaced out. You were up on the stage about to speak and you just passed out. Marcus said he’s worked on cases before where women have been drugged. He thinks that’s what might have happened to you.”

Marcus.
Making up with her mother had given her a renewed feeling of hope, and knowing that Marcus had been there for her when she needed him most made her believe almost anything was possible.

But where was he now? Had he simply done his good cop deed by bringing her to the hospital?

And if he had, would Alice ever see him again?

“GHB,” the young male doctor explained to everyone in Alice’s hospital room. “More popularly know as one of the date-rape drugs.”

“I was drugged?” Alice asked. Though that very thought had crossed her mind, the reality still stunned her.

He nodded. “There was a very high concentration of gamma hydroxy buterate in your system.”

“You’re saying this was deliberate,” Rosa said.

“Absolutely. You don’t accidentally drink GHB. It’s slipped into people’s drinks—mostly women’s—for the sole purpose of knocking them out.”

“My God.” Marie looked from the doctor to Alice.

“I was at the theater,” she said, more to herself than to anyone else. “About to address a group of reporters and parents. Who would want to knock me out there?”

“Someone who wanted to discredit you, make you look like you were hooked on drugs.”

At the sound of Marcus’s deep voice, Alice’s gaze flew across the room. Her heart soared. He was really here. She wasn’t imagining him.

“As I told your husband a little while ago,” the doctor continued, “anything’s possible. I only know you were definitely drugged. Now, I want to keep you here at least a few more hours for observation, but I don’t anticipate any problems. How are you feeling?”

“A little groggy.”

“That should pass shortly. I’ll be back to check on you in an hour or so, but in the meantime, if you need anything, ring for the nurse.”

The doctor excused himself and Alice observed Marcus as he watched the doctor leave. She wondered what was going through his mind. Was his heart racing the way hers was from simply being in the same room with him? Or was he simply here as a cop, thinking and feeling as a cop?

He turned back to her when the doctor was gone.

“Do you really think someone wanted to discredit me as opposed to hurting me?” Alice asked him. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

Marcus stepped further into the room. “If someone truly wanted to hurt you, they could have done so by now. But with the article in the tabloid about your alleged drug use, and now collapsing in front of reporters—this all seems like a plan to make you look bad.”

“Oh my God,” Alice muttered.

“All you have to think is motive. Jealousy, greed, revenge. Those are some of the classic ones.”

Jealousy—Tanisha perhaps was jealous. Greed? Alice couldn’t think of anyone to fit that description. Revenge—revenge for being successful? If that was the case, any of the people she’d known years ago could be responsible—including Tanisha.

Marcus moved to the side of her bed but didn’t sit. Professional. Impersonal. Alice’s stomach fluttered with disappointment.

“Who did you see when you arrived at the theater?” he asked her.

“Tanisha and Willie. They seemed pretty tight.”

“Anyone else afterward?”

“No. I stayed in the back until the children and the media had arrived. You don’t think…?”

“You must have consumed this drug in some type of drink. Do you remember drinking anything at the theater?”

“Coffee. Willie made a pot of coffee.”

“This is important, Alice,” Marcus told her, finally resting a hip against the side of her bed. “Did you stop anywhere along the way to the theater, pick up a soda or a coffee anywhere else?”

“No. Tanisha called me, asked me to come into the theater early. That’s it.”

“Sonofabitch,” Marcus muttered, then stalked toward the door.

“Marcus,” Alice called. When he faced her, she saw the anger flashing in his eyes. “Where are you going?”

“To take care of this situation.”

Alice was about to ask exactly what he had planned, but Marcus was gone before she could utter another word.

And judging by his demeanor, she could only
pity the person who would be the victim of his wrath.

As Marcus peeled out of the hospital parking lot, he was seething. From day one, Tanisha had been around when every bad thing had happened to Alice. Though he couldn’t understand her wanting to hire Alice only to make her look like a fool, he conceded that he’d never truly understood Tanisha and there was no point in even trying.

Now she would pay.

He was so angry, he gripped the steering wheel as if it were Tanisha’s neck. He had to calm down. But he couldn’t stop envisioning Alice lying in a heap on the stage, seemingly lifeless. He had remembered Melissa, how his body had turned to ice when he’d seen her lifeless body on the kitchen floor. And like that horrible day nearly a year ago, guilt sucker-punched him in the gut. Indirectly or not, he was to blame for what had happened to Melissa, and now he was to blame for what had happened to Alice. If he hadn’t crossed the line with Alice, they wouldn’t have been at odds—and he would have been there for her. He would have stopped Tanisha from drugging her.

Alice deserved better than him.

A better man would have had regard for her feelings. A better man would have protected her instead of satisfying his lust.

But it wasn’t simply lust. Marcus knew that now. Last night, as he’d felt guilty as hell for not being there to protect her, he’d suddenly realized that he felt guilt because he cared and had pushed her
away. He was in love with her, probably had been for a long time, but hadn’t been able to admit it to himself.

Still, the idea of giving his heart to someone else scared him to death. Would things be different with Alice? He’d thought he’d known Tanisha and had learned that he didn’t know her at all. He didn’t want to make another mistake.

In his heart, he knew Alice was nothing like Tanisha. But his brain told him he had been burned once. What if a lowly cop couldn’t keep Alice happy? Maybe she needed another actor or producer. Someone with clout and money.

Marcus didn’t know what to do. Tell Alice how he felt and take another chance on love? Or let her head back to Hollywood, where she could find someone who truly deserved her?

He pictured Alice in Noel Sanders’s arms and felt a stab of pain in his heart. He pictured her with Shemar Moore and had the same reaction. Though she might be better off with someone else, Marcus didn’t know if he could let her go. Because when he thought of his life, he thought of Alice in it.

But after the way he’d pushed her away, he didn’t know if she’d give him another chance. He wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t.

As Marcus continued to drive, he forced Alice out of his mind. Now he had to concentrate on Tanisha and the fact that she was finally going to get what was coming to her.

“Marcus,” Tanisha said breathlessly as she opened her apartment door. “What are you doing here?”

Marcus brushed past her into the apartment. “I’m going to ask you once, and I expect the truth. Why did you drug Alice?”

“Drug her?” Tanisha’s mouth fell open. “I did no such thing.”

“I’m already pissed off with you, so I have no desire to sit here and listen to you give me a load of bull. Is it jealousy? Is that it?”

“Over you? God, Marcus. You’re so incredibly full of yourself.”

“Over Alice’s success. You never could stand the fact that she’d succeeded where you’d failed.”

“I want you to leave.”

“Alice was drugged, Tanisha. Someone gave her a date-rape drug that knocked her out. There was such a high level of the stuff in her system, it could have killed her. That’s a crime, Tanisha. So no, I’m not going to leave—not without you in a pair of handcuffs.”

“What do you mean?”

“You didn’t think you would get away with this?”

A sound in the apartment hallway got Marcus’s attention. Willie, clad only in boxers, made his way to the foyer.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Willie asked, glaring at Marcus.

Marcus suddenly remembered what Alice had said, that Willie had given her coffee…and he wondered if it wasn’t Tanisha who had drugged her, but Willie. If Tanisha and Willie were back to sleeping together, maybe this was about him wanting his old job back.

But to go to such extremes? Damn, anything was
possible, especially when he’d been fired and maybe hadn’t gotten over the fact that his replacement had done a lot more for the theater in a few months than he’d done in a few years.

“Alice was drugged, Willie. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

Willie glanced away, then back at Marcus. “If your girlfriend is a druggie—”

It took one beat for Marcus to cross the foyer and ram Willie’s body against a wall. “It was you, wasn’t it?”

“Get the hell out of here.”

“No, it makes sense.” Marcus knew it, felt it in his gut. Behind him, Tanisha screamed at him to leave, but he ignored her. “Alice said you gave her coffee. You deliberately drugged her so she would look like a fool!”

“She showed her true colors,” Willie barked. “Now the whole world knows the truth.”

“Sonofabitch!” Marcus grabbed Willie in a headlock. He’d never been so angry. “You could have killed her.” He tightened his grip, and Willie grabbed at his arms. But Marcus was the stronger man. He didn’t loosen his grip.

“You’re going to kill him!” Tanisha cried.

“And maybe that’s what he deserves.”

“Willie! Tell him. Tell him you had nothing to do with this!”

“You tell the truth, Willie.”

“All right,” Willie managed. “I’ll tell you. Just let me go.”

Releasing him, Marcus gave Willie a shove and he landed on the floor. As he stared up at Marcus and
Tanisha, his chest heaved as he struggled to catch his breath.

Marcus crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m waiting.”

“Screw you, Marcus.”

“That’s it,” Marcus said, his voice lethal, then started for Willie once more. “You want to do this the hard way—”

“Wait!” Willie cried out, holding up both hands as he cowered. Marcus paused, staring at him hard. Willie gritted his teeth and blew out a frustrated breath. “Okay,” he said in a resigned tone. “I didn’t mean any harm. I just wanted my old job back.”

“So you’re admitting it?” Marcus asked, making sure there was no confusion. “That you drugged her?”

Willie swallowed. “Yes.”

“Willie?” Tanisha stared at him in disbelief.

“You only fired me because we’d broken up,” he told Tanisha. “I know you said I was too clingy, but then we started talking again, getting closer again. I thought you’d realize how much you needed me. You even told me Alice wouldn’t be there long, remember? But the longer she stayed, the more everyone loved her. Including you. I started to wonder if you’d ever give me my old job back, even if she left. I…had to make you see that you were wrong about her. That you needed me, Tanisha. That we could be a team again, the way we always should have been.”

“That’s why you tried to kill her? Because you wanted your job at the theater back?” It took every ounce of Marcus’s self control not to strangle the moron to death right now.

“I didn’t want to kill her. I just wanted to scare her. That’s why I did the things I did. But she wasn’t going away. So…so I convinced Tanisha to hold a performance for the media, but I only wanted to make everyone believe she was on drugs so she’d have to quit at the theater.”

“I don’t believe you!” Tanisha yelled. “You’re the one who sent that picture to the tabloid?”

“I just wanted her to leave town. So we could run the theater again, baby. Together. The way we did before.”

“Don’t call me baby. I want you out of here.”

“He’s going,” Marcus said. “With me. Down to the station.”

Willie’s eyes bulged. “You’re gonna arrest me?”

“Stalking, assault charges. You’d better get a damned good lawyer. I’ll give you three minutes to get dressed before I drag your ass out of here.”

Mumbling under his breath, Willie stood. He didn’t look happy as he disappeared down the hallway to the bedroom.

“I’m sorry,” Tanisha said when Willie was gone. “I had no clue.”

“I’m sorry I accused you,” Marcus said. “But you have to understand—”

“I do.”

“I’m glad you had nothing to do with this.”

Tanisha nodded glumly, then walked to the living room. She dropped onto the sofa and buried her face in her hands.

Marcus went to the bedroom to get Willie, adrenaline rushing through his body. He’d done it. He’d cracked this case.

Now Alice would be safe. She wouldn’t meet the same fate Melissa had.

But while the threat was gone, her role at the theater was almost over. And after it was, would she stay here in Chicago, or return to her life in Los Angeles?