If Your Wife Only Knew (11 page)

“What's wrong?” she asked.

He tried to talk but couldn't. He motioned at his throat.

Alexis sprang into action. She made him stand up and she got behind him. She supported his chest with one hand and made him lean forward. She gave him a few abdominal thrusts. Soon he began to breathe normally.

“Thanks, babe. I hate when food feels like it's stuck in my throat. I keep forgetting that when I eat too fast I almost choke to death.”

Alexis was grateful that he was okay, but she wondered what would ever happen if he had an emergency while he was at her house. Who would she call and how would she explain him being with her?

That night when they made love, Alexis was friskier than normal.

“Sit over there.”

He immediately jumped up and took a seat on an armchair.

She removed her bra and panties and sat on top of Rashad, facing him.

They started kissing and he felt all over her ass, then sucked her tits.

He took off his boxers and she grabbed his dick and stuffed it in her pussy.

“You like this?” she asked. Alexis began singing Rihanna's “Birthday Cake.” He stroked her real good while she hopped up and down on him. Rashad clutched her long hair in his hands while she arched her neck. She opened up her mouth and let out a long, roaring shriek. Her entire body shuddered. She kept repeating, “I love this. I love you.” Alexis held Rashad's head between her hands and released all the sexual frustration she'd been having. She wanted Rashad so bad. He may still have belonged to Kiara, but as wrong as it was, Alexis felt no shame in having him with her all night.

They held each other tight as the light of the moon glistened through her window and cast ghostly shadows on her wall.

Rashad slipped out before the sun rose. Alexis stayed in bed as long as she could, relishing the memory of his presence and missing him already.

She later got out of bed, took a shower, and got dressed so she could prepare a Sunday brunch.

She brought in a plate stacked with hotcakes to her mother, who was sitting up in bed. She set the plate on a TV tray next to the bed.

“How you doing, Mama?”

Mona frowned at the plate of food.

“You must not be doing too well, but hopefully if you eat something you'll get to feeling better.” Alexis patted her mother's messy looking red hair and kissed it. Alexis felt like she just kissed one of the wig-wearing creatures on the
Planet of the Apes
. She started roaring with laughter at her mom's crazy-looking hair.

Her mother shoved the plate of food onto the floor. Syrupy pancakes stuck to the carpet. Scrambled eggs lay scattered next to them.

“I'll feel a whole lot better once you stop disrespecting me.”

“Mama, why'd you do that? What you talking about?”

“You heard me, Alexis. I didn't raise you to do what you're doing.”

“So I'm not supposed to fix your meals?”

“I'm not talking about the stupid pancakes and the dumb eggs. I'm talking about all that noise you made all night. I had to cover my ears and I still heard you.”

“Oh. Well. I-I don't know what to say.”

“You may pay bills and help me out around here but you still gots to give me the respect I deserve.”

“Okay, I will try not to be so loud next time.”

“There won't be a next time.”

“As long as I have needs, there will be a next time.”

“Then you better go rent a hotel room 'cause I know that woman ain't gone let you sleep with her man in her own house.”

“Rent a what? You must be losing your mind. Did you remember to take all your medicine?”

“Don't blame my common sense on some damned sickness. The sickness is that I failed at being a better mother. If you hadn't been so fast running around at fourteen doing things you had no business doing. Sneaking boys in the house while I was gone trying to make money.”

“Mama, where is this all coming from? Like, last time we talked, you were fine. But I haven't actually spoken to you in days.”

“Not my fault. I can barely get out the bed so if you haven't talked to me it's because you found better things to do than come check on me.”

“No. I've been here. And I have checked on you. You were asleep.”

“I don't know where you've been.”

“Look, lady. If I wasn't at work or taking care of my business, I was here. I'm always here. That's the problem.”

“Why be here? Did y'all two break up or something?”

“Huh? I don't know why you're asking me that. That's not something I feel comfortable—”

“Oh, so you don't feel comfortable talking about that married man that you always sneaking into my house like you're a teenager, but you have no problem yelling as loud as you can while you're slapping skins with him? You gone end up with two kids instead of just that one.”

Alexis felt like the insides of her stomach rose up in her throat and blocked her ability to breathe. Her mama loved little Hayley to death and she enjoyed every moment when Alexis brought her granddaughter over to the house a couple times a month, but it had always bothered her that her daughter messed around with Rashad and got pregnant by him. She stuck by Alexis during her pregnancy, but when her daughter went into premature labor, she knew then that her young child wouldn't have the means or maturity to care for the baby. That's when Glynis volunteered to help care for Hayley.

“My ending up with his child wasn't totally my fault.”

“That's what's wrong with you. You won't accept responsibility for anything. If you plant corn, you gone get corn. If you do dirt, you gone get dirt. You planting the wrong seed and that's why the wrong stuff keeps popping up in your life.”

Alexis placed her hands over her ears. She watched her mother's mouth continue moving. She heard the muffled anger and squeezed her hands over her ears even tighter.

When her mother noticed Alexis's attempt to shut her out, she struggled until she could swing her feet to the side of the bed. Once Mona felt stronger, she rose to shaky feet.

She removed Alexis's hands from her ears and patted her on top of her head.

“I know you don't wanna hear it and that's fine. But I need to tell you the truth. We all make our own choices, and I told you a thousand times not to mess around with certain folk. It can get you in trouble that ain't worth its pain.”

“It sounds like you're telling me you regret having me. Like I was a mistake.”

“You're not a mistake 'cause God don't make mistakes, darling. And yes, it's been rough, but I don't regret having you. But falling in love with your father, that wasn't right. It brought so much heartache. And I never wanted you to know the same type of pain.”

“I never wanted to have feelings for Rashad . . . or anyone else.”

“You only had one man, a good man, and somehow you messed that one up.”

“You know what, if I told you once, I told you twice that Patterson Currie, that good man that you think got away, he wasn't so good, Mama. He messed up my life.”

Alexis had met Patterson Currie when she was seventeen and working at her first job as a cashier at a smoothie shop. He told her she could make thousands of dollars as a model. Alexis decided to listen to him and go for it. She quit her job and got booked for shows at all the local malls. She made money and had fun. She was shocked and pleased when he gave her the two-seater Benz and other gifts. And sex with Patterson was amazing. But when she got pregnant, he sprung the news that he was married with four sons, and she'd better get an abortion because if she gained weight, her modeling days would be over. Alexis cried when she realized he didn't care about her. She was so ashamed she didn't dare tell a soul, so she took herself to get an abortion.

“As my daughter you never should sign up for anything just to be with a man. You deserve better. I deserved better.”

“This ain't about you.”

“As long as you're living here, it affects me, sweetie. And if that punk really cared, he wouldn't come by for a few hours and leave. If he loved you, he would never leave you, for any reason. For any woman. For anything.”

“But—”

“Most married men won't leave their real family for a mistress.”

Her words hurt Alexis so much. “S-sometimes it happens.”

Mona sadly told her, “It didn't happen to me so why would you believe he's going to do that for you?”

“Because I know Rashad loves me.”

“That clown don't love you. He don't spend major holidays with you. He ain't there every time you need him. Quit wasting your time with a lying cheater, and get your do-nothing life together. Stop making a fool of yourself.”

Mona's words made her tremble with anger. The truth tore at her guts and was good at making Alexis feel worthless.

As she fled her mother's presence, Alexis accidentally stepped on the pancakes. She picked up the food and put it back on the plate. Syrup stuck to her shoe and made squishy noises when she went down the steps. She ran to the kitchen and dumped the rest of the breakfast into the trash can. Then she sat down, laid her forehead on the table, and stroked the charm bracelet Rashad gave her and wept so loud she didn't care if Mona heard her.

“Y
ou fell asleep where, doing what?” Kiara yawned as she questioned her husband. It was five in the morning. Her pupils were red. It felt like dirt was stuck to her eyelids. She got no sleep the night before. But when she heard the garage door open, she stopped Rashad before he could get in. He appeared exhausted.

“I fell asleep at one of the renovation houses I worked at. When I woke up, it was morning. And I came straight home. Is any coffee made?”

“That doesn't even sound right, Rashad.”

“Well, regardless, that's what happened. I feel like crap, too; that floor was hard as concrete. Hell, it
was
concrete.”

Rashad vigorously rubbed his back and a stupid grin formed on his face.

“Give me a massage?”

“Negro, please. You should have let whoever you were with last night massage your back.”

“I told you what went down.”

“I heard what you told me. But I doubt that it went down like that. You sleeping at a renovation house? What the fuck ever.”

“You tripping. Don't act like this hasn't happened before.”

Kiara thought about it. A couple of times in the past, he had slept at the job site . . . because he said he was too drained to make it home and he wasn't going to take chances driving. Back then she bundled up their child and drove to the job site to see if he was there. He was, because she noticed his work van. She went back home and never told Rashad she did a drive-by.

“Well, don't get comfy,” she told him. She went and threw on some sweats, a t-shirt, and some flip-flops. She grabbed her keys and purse.

“Let's go.”

“Go where?”

“You're about to show me where you were at. Come on.”

“Kiara, I don't have time for this.”

She stared at him. “Rashad, when we took our vows almost ten years ago, one of the things you promised was to make me feel secure. You remember that?”

“Yeah. And—”

“I know what you're about to say. But financial security isn't the only way in which a woman needs to feel secure.”

“If you are saying you don't trust me, then why are you with me? Why would you be with a man you don't trust?”

“Prove to me that you can be trusted. And if you were where you say you were, you'd have no problem taking me to that spot. Right now. Let's go.”

He gave a nonchalant shrug and went out to the garage to get in her car.

She got Myles, who was still completely knocked out, and struggled to carry him to the car. Kiara gently placed him on the backseat. She opened the garage door and they were on their way.

“Tell me where to go, Rashad.”

He slumped in his seat and gave her directions.

They drove approximately forty minutes to the northern part of town.

“Turn down this street.”

She did and he pointed at a one-story frame house on the left. It was surrounded by a white picket fence.

“You happy now? That's where I was.”

She stared at the house, then frowned at him. She made a U-turn then drove back up the street until they were right in front of the house.

“What are you doing?”

She parked then put the car in neutral.

“Let's go.”

“Okay. I'm putting my foot down on this, Kiara. We are not about to go up to this house. That's trespassing. You see those big dogs in the yard?”

“Wait. I thought you said it was this house?”

“No. That one. The one with those two Rottweilers. And you know you're scared of dogs.”

Kiara nervously laughed. “This is insane. What am I doing here?”

“You need to slow it down, babe. This is not us. We don't do crazy shit like this.”

“Then why am I doing this?”

Rashad reached over and tried to hug her. “You are stressed. You need a vacation. I could use some R and R, too.”

She said not a word. She put the car in drive and kept traveling until they were back at their own house. They quietly went inside. Kiara made Rashad tuck Myles back in his bed. She lacked the energy and desire to do it herself.

When Rashad was done, he found Kiara in the kitchen, sitting at the breakfast table. He made her some hot green tea with lemon and handed a cup to her.

“Thanks,” she told him. “I just want you to keep me posted about everything. Communicate.” Her voice was hoarse. “I worry when you are gone all night, or for a long time.”

He nodded. “That's understandable. But you should automatically know, when I ain't here, ninety percent of my time is spent trying to make money. The other ten percent is just little stuff I need to do. But I don't feel like I gotta check in with you first before I do anything that's just normal day-to-day stuff. Would you want to give me a full itinerary of everything you do before you do it?”

“Nope, not really.”

“Good. I'm
your
husband. Ain't no other Mrs. Eason out there but you.”

“I already know that. I'm just concerned about the wannabes.”

He laughed.

“Rashad,” Kiara said, standing up, “You know as well as I do that some chicks have no respect for another woman's relationship. Haven't you met chicks like that?”

“What? Not really.”

“Oh, now I know you're lying.” She came and stood directly in front of him.

“How you know that?”

“Someone told me they saw your ass kissing another chick. A tall, pretty woman. Does that sound familiar?”

“If that someone is Adina, be suspect. She's a hater. Plus she can't see worth a damn.”

“Really, Rashad. Is that all you got?”

“It wasn't me, whatever she saw.”

Kiara looked up in Rashad's eyes. “Well,” she said, and shoved him backward into the kitchen counter, “I'm still waiting on you to prove that you're trustworthy, and until that happens you will see this very stressed Kiara Eason.”

“Why you shove me?”

She smacked him across his face.

“This is just in case you've lied.” She smacked him again. “And this is for taking me for granted.” Her slaps annoyed Rashad, but he didn't flinch. He grabbed her around her waist and squeezed her into a hug. He felt guilty because he knew he'd done her wrong, but he wasn't ready to confess his sins.

“I don't mean to take you for granted, babe. And, forgive me for stressing you out. But you're not with just any man. I am considered a business pillar of this community, at least that's what I want to be. So I have big goals. To reach them, I must be on my grind. Yes, I work around pretty women. I do lunch with them. I treat them. But they're my clients. And don't forget, one reason I work so hard is for you. I'm trying to pay for our cruise trip that's coming up this fall. Another deposit is due.”

Kiara decided to back down. She knew Rashad was trying to stay on her good side.

“How could I forget the cruise?”

“Babe, we both work so hard,” he said in a tender voice. “Besides that, what else do we do? Don't you want to get out of Houston? Go get our sexy back?”

“Well, yes. I do, but—” Her throat clogged with hurt. Her spirit couldn't completely rest, no matter what he told her, but Kiara was weary of arguing. And as much as she asked her husband for the truth, it was a fact that many women who had issues with their men simply couldn't handle the truth even if they got it.

Truth demands decisions. Truth forces changes. Was Kiara ready for major changes, things that would totally affect her family life, if she had the truth?

 

Later that afternoon, Kiara told Rashad she had some business to take care of.

“No problem. Me and Myles gonna hang out. He wants me to help him plant seeds in the yard. Something he learned from his Cub Scout meeting.”

“That's the type of thing I like to hear from my husband,” she told him.

Kiara hopped in her car and drove until she reached a Chili's Grill & Bar that was closer to Adina's neighborhood.

They greeted each other and slid in a corner booth across from each other.

“What's up, my friend?” Adina asked.

“Girl, I did what you told me. I confronted him. He denied everything.”

“Of course he would. Why would a cheater admit to something if you have no evidence? Or even when you do have evidence, it gets twisted into another convincing lie.”

“So now my ass is back at square one.”

“Not really,” Adina said. She gave Kiara a pensive look. “I really hate that things had to come to this, but what the hell.”

Adina retrieved a Kindle Fire.

“Damn.” Kiara laughed. “Why did you bring that?”

“Because I knew one day it would come in handy.” Adina powered it up and swiped the photos icon.

“I kind of held back some info from you, because I really wanted to protect your little heart. But since your husband is on some bullshit, shots are about to be fired,” Adina told her. She held up the tablet in front of Kiara.

“Here. Look. Tell me what you see.”

“That's Rashad. And he is kissing a woman.” Kiara strained to get a better look.

“Girl, help me out.”

Adina came and sat next to Kiara so she could take a closer look. “That's the fucking shirt I bought him for Father's Day a few years ago.” She laughed. “That bastard lied his ass off. I'm glad I smacked his face.” She looked closer. “Oh, shit. I know this woman. And she is not my husband's client.” Kiara took a photo of the photo. “That's it. I deserve better. And I'm about to fucking get it.”

 

Kiara drove home wiping tears from her eyes. But she dried them right before she pulled into the garage.

When she walked inside the house, she heard the sound of the television. Rashad and Myles were playing a video game.

“Hey, baby boy,” she cooed, “why don't you go up to your room? I need to talk to your daddy. I won't take long.”

“Awww, Mommy.”

She gave Myles the look. He threw down the game controller and shot up the stairs.

Kiara calmly went to the master bedroom. She walked inside the custom closet. Rashad had installed the shelving when they first moved in.

“Too bad all that talent is such a waste,” she said. Kiara reached up and yanked a few shirts from the rack on Rashad's side of the closet.

She stormed from the closet, went to the living room, stood in front of Rashad and held up his clothes.

“Watch this.”

She walked to the hallway, and looked down at Rashad's suitcase. It was still sitting on the floor from when she first placed it there. She felt Rashad come up behind her. She bent down and dropped the shirts inside one by one.

Kiara went back to the closet.

Rashad was following right behind her.

“What are you doing?”

“Making myself happy.”

“You are nuts.”

“You better hope I don't kick you in your nuts.”

She spotted a few pairs of his retro Air Jordans, gathered them in her arms, and went to toss them in the suitcase.

He just stared at her.

“I found out you lied about kissing that woman.” She opened her cell phone and showed him her new screen saver: the photo of Rashad in a lip lock with Alexis.

“Every time you do something foul, I will throw your shit in this bag. The day it fills up is the day we're through.”

Rashad began yelling at her and trying to get his stuff out of the luggage. She shoved him away and went to get a can of pest control spray. She squirted it all throughout the hallway.

Rashad started coughing and immediately left the room. Kiara knew he suffered allergic reactions to roach spray.

 

When Kiara went to work the next day, the first person she saw standing outside her office was Eddison. As usual, his dress style was impeccable. He wore a light brown suit. He held a large tan mug in his hands. She noticed steam rising from the cup and she detected the rich aroma of a cortado.

“Hello there.”

“Eddison, really?”

After a tough night, his presence soothed her.

“As you can see, I am here to make sure your day starts out well. I wanted to pop in and say hello, make sure you're good.”

“I'll be just fine.”

She led him into her office and offered him a seat. He handed her the mug and she took a sip. It tasted delicious.

“Is everything okay? Can I do anything to help?”

“Eddison, you are like my knight. God knows I need that. But I gotta figure out a thing or two.”

“Kiara, just say the word. I will help you in whatever way you need.”

“I know you will. You're an amazing man.”

“And I'm also trying to get you to reconsider helping my students.”

“Look, thanks for the drink. You're such a sweetheart, but as far as these kids, I can't help you. I'd like to. But I can't.”

“Can't or won't?”

She sighed and felt frustrated.

“Kiara, please reconsider. These are good kids. We don't want their future to be thrown away over this. If we help them, we can change the direction of their lives.”

She chuckled and set down her drink.

“I knew you'd do it.” He reached out and squeezed her hand. “Thanks, I owe you.”

“You owe me nothing.”

“I do owe you. I will pay you back . . . with dividends.” He stood up.

“I'll be in touch, Eddison, plus I think we need to have a conversation.”