Illicit Canvas: political romance and stand alone romance (20 page)

Chapter Twenty-Four

The next day that anxious feeling finally goes away when Ethan calls. He reveals that he has told Colin about the business and the fact that I’m helping him. I’m gobsmacked and in some way relieved that he decided to do that. We arrange to see each other later, for dinner. I know that soon I’ll have to tell him about my incident from three years ago. I don’t want to hide anything, but I’m scared that he will run like others have.

 
In the meantime, girls from my course are eager to see Ethan’s property. I’m planning to create another painting for the exhibition. Ethan has a few other things that he is finalising.

Colin interrupts my conversation with the girls in the canteen, insisting on talking to me. I manage to get rid of him. In the end he gives up and sits with Valerie, who seems to be pleased.

“Do you know any art bloggers?” asks Laura, one of the students from my class.

“No, I don’t, unfortunately. We haven’t thought about art bloggers. We were going to discuss the marketing strategies today.”
 

“Well, I think he should approach some bloggers. It’s a great advertising tool. My father works for one of the PR agencies in the city. He doesn’t think that my degree is worth anything, but he thinks that I’m talented. If my paintings were exhibited, who knows, he would probably try hard to promote it.”

“Oh my God, that would be great if you could get him involved. I’ll talk to Ethan about it.”

Social media is huge nowadays and I’m writing down everything Laura has suggested. I have heard that her father is quite successful, so it would be ideal if we could have her in. After lunch, I take the girls to Ethan’s place. There are many talented people in my course, but Ethan is looking for a particular style and he liked some of Laura’s work.

 
I try to tell them as much as I can about the area. Most of them have been painting for years, like me. Laura wants to show her father that she can make a living out of it. She reveals in the Metro that she has sold a few paintings now and then, but she doesn’t know how to market herself.

When I unlock the door and let them inside the place, the red chair is still there. I’m instantly having hot flushes, remembering the way Ethan made violent love to me on the floor. The girls walk around and notice my paintings.

It doesn’t take them long to imagine what Ethan is planning to do with the place. I talk about the changes that will transform this empty room, about the workshop and promotion material. It’s a lot to take in, but anyone who is into creative stuff would get that there is a lot of potential in this place.

I get home by five thirty and have a long shower. I leave Maja a note on the fridge, wishing her good luck for her date, and then I run to the Metro station.

Ethan promised me another delicious dinner and I’m excited. It has been really cold the past few days, but tonight the temperatures plunged below zero degrees Celsius. I leave the Metro station and after another twenty-minute walk, I reach his street. It’s rush hour and the station is busy with people hurrying in and out, trying to get home at a reasonable time.

I’m so engrossed in my own thoughts that I bump into someone. When I look up, I see a man in his fifties. He stares at me for a brief second longer than he should. There is a look of recognition in his expression.

“Pardon,” he says, his voice sharp, and strolls away quickly. Something clicks then, and I start following him, not even knowing why. Slowly, a desperate thought enters my mind. I recognise those eyes and I believe that it’s my father.

The crowd is thick, filled with people. I try to keep up with the man, who is wearing a purple coat and walking fast. He is a few meters away from me, not glancing behind.

“Excuse me. Hey, excuse me,” I shout in English after him, but there are so many people around me and he keeps getting away. I stop for a moment, losing sight of him, then spot his purple coat at the top of the stairs. I start pushing myself through other people, swearing in French.

“Hey, you in the purple coat. Stop!” I shout again like I’ve lost my mind. It’s him, it must be him. My father has heard me. He stops for a split second and then continues walking much faster than before.

I lose him near the exit, and when I reach the outside, it’s already dark. I glance around in desperation, trying to locate him, but I don’t see anyone wearing a purple coat anywhere. This area is one of the better ones in Brussels. I stand in the same spot for a moment, wondering if I really saw him or if it was just my imagination.

That growing anxiety pushes its way to the surface. I feel like a failure, a loser for wasting so much time until now. Ethan’s goal has progressed, but my own search hasn’t really gone anywhere. I need to find him as soon as possible. Thoughts collide with fear and pain, throwing me back into the darkness. It takes me twice as long to get back to Ethan’s street as it normally would. My heart rate picks up when I knock on his door, overwhelmed with mixed emotions.

“Hey, I was expecting you a little later. How–” He stops talking when he opens the door. “What’s wrong?”

I don’t even realise that I’m shaking when I step inside, my breathing shallow. “It’s nothing. I’m just being silly. I thought that I saw my father when I jumped out of the Metro station,” I mumble, flexing my fingers nervously.

“Come on, let’s get you something warm to drink,” he says. I inhale his aftershave, telling myself to calm down. The smell of roast beef pervades the kitchen and my mouth waters. Only now I realise that I didn’t eat much for lunch. I was so engrossed in my conversation with the girls that I forgot about food.

“I’m fine. It’s not a big deal. It wasn’t my father. I probably just hoped that it was him.”

“It’s been years, Arwen. He’s probably changed. We will find him, I promise,” he tells me, handing me a chamomile tea. Then he kisses me slowly and gently, the way I like it. The heat starts, stirring desire, and in an instant I want more.

“That’s nice. I've already forgotten about it. You’re a great distraction.”

“I must admit that I haven’t been much help. We have to intensify the search.”

“Okay, we will go to see another dealer tomorrow. I don’t want to spoil my evening with you,” I say, putting the tea aside and wrapping my arms around his waist.

“All right, but you’re a terrible influence. We still have a dinner to get through. Your stomach is rumbling. I heard it when you walked in,” he says, exhaling sharply when I caress the skin on his stomach. “Tell me, did the girls see the place? Your paintings?”

“Yes, they loved it. “

I tell him about Laura and her connections and today’s ideas. It turns out that he has already gotten some quotes from one of his friends with regards to marketing. That evening after dinner, we start draughting a plan, writing down all the things that Ethan needs to run a successful exhibition. He is confident enough that everything will be done in around two weeks. It’s a lot of work, and by the time we’re finished discussing it all, we are both exhausted.

Sex is still on my mind when we finally move to the bedroom. It’s also the first night that I’m going to spend with him, without being intoxicated. I push away the thought of telling him about my episode from the past.

“I normally get up at five to work out, but I”

“Ethan, shut up and kiss me. I missed you,” I say, cutting him off. When his eyes become hooded, glowing with heat, I realise that it’s just us, and we can finally enjoy each other.

I push her onto the bed, stop analysing my every move, and grab her feet.

“This will be quick, since we’re both tired,” I tell her, smiling.

I start kissing that soft skin on her ankles, feeling ready to make love to her right now. I still can’t quite comprehend that she is with me.

 
Arwen giggles and I start moving my mouth upwards, parting her legs. We play with each other for a little while until I know that she is wet enough. It’s so rewarding looking at her, totally in my control, on my bed.

Happiness and blissful peace spread through me and I find myself thinking about the future. In an ideal world, we would be partners—she would be painting and I would run my business. I know this isn’t as simple as it sounds. There are many obstacles, but this night is perfect and fulfilling. It’s just us.

 
In the morning I find myself wrapped up in her warm, small body. My memories drift back to yesterday and I smile to myself. She hasn’t escaped yet; she is still with me. A minute later my alarm goes off. It’s 5:00 a.m.

She moans when I kiss her. Yes, it’s unfair that I have to leave, but I only have a few more weeks left at work. I can’t lose focus now.
 

“Stay here and sleep. I have a spare key.”

She mutters something in her sleep and turns over. I grab some clothes and leave the room. On my way to the gym I realise that I haven’t talked to Sylvie yet. She is probably waiting for my phone call. Nothing would have ever worked out between us, but I owe her an apology and explanation. I decide to deal with her later.

The rest of my day is filled with painful tasks that I don’t find interesting anymore. Emails, meetings, paperwork and more emails. I have a calendar by my desk with crossed-out days, waiting for that moment when I’m out of here. The word in the department has spread; everyone knows that I’m leaving. The position had been advertised; next week I’m doing the interviews.
 

Arwen calls me later on during her lunch and we agree I will pick her up at five from the campus. Lucas Voltare is the next one on the list. Compared to the previous name, there is plenty of information about him online. When I check his website, I can’t stop admiring the professional graphics and all the paintings that he has for sale. It’s an impressive collection.

I click on the contact details, comparing them with mine on the list from Antoine. Lucas Voltare is listed in two different locations. I manage to find out that he spends most of his time in Bruges. He has a few people that run his studio in the city.

Arwen will be disappointed and I’m desperate to give her some good news. I’m going to help her to find her father, even if I have to hire a private detective. Then I smile, deciding that I owe her a surprise.

His bed is so comfortable that I don’t move until it’s half past eight. It’s a shame that he had to leave. I dress, putter around, and leave for the Metro station. Anxiety crashes with reality when I’m back in the crowd of people. I’m certain that I saw my father yesterday. He saw me and then ran away, like a coward. Mum calls, probably to check on me, so we chat for a little bit. I don’t tell her about Ethan yet. It’s too soon. Besides, she will freak.

I know that I have to tell him about my past incident, but everything is so perfect now and I know he won’t look at me the same way afterward. There are many things that I’m upset about, but it’s been years.

I head to the campus and the first couple of classes fly by.

Ethan calls during lunch.

“Hello, beautiful, how are you?” he asks when I answer.

“Great, well rested and I can’t wait to see you later.”

He laughs and I love the sound of this. It’s so honest and I feel like it’s me, that I make him happy.

“We can’t go to see Lucas Voltare just yet.”

“What? Why?”

“Because he runs his business in two locations. In the city and in Bruges. There is no point talking to him on the phone. We need to see him in person and show him your great reproduction,” Ethan explains and I sink back on my seat. This isn’t happening. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

“Arwen, are you there?” Ethan asks.

“Yes, I’m here,” I mumble.

“I have an idea. Why don’t we take a short break away this weekend? We could stay for a night in Bruges and then see Voltare in the morning.”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Ethan wants to spend a weekend with me. This dealer Voltare
 
surely must know something about my father. Right now I just want to have this behind me.

“That sounds good. I would love to spend a weekend with you in Bruges,” I squeak.

“Great. I’ll arrange everything. Don’t worry. We'll leave tomorrow in the afternoon.”

 
When Ethan hangs up, I want to jump up and down. A few students stare at me like I’ve gone mad. I reach for my phone and start researching. I’m going away to one of the most romantic cities in Europe. I can’t believe how lucky I am.

I finish my food and on the way to class a text message comes through. My stomach makes a funny jolt because it’s Gilbert asking me how I am. I bite my lip, toying with what I want to say to him. I don’t want him to believe there could be something between us. On the way home I call him to say that I have already met the man of my dreams and I don’t want to give him any false hopes. Gilbert is disappointed, but at least I got that off my chest. Now it’s just a case of revealing the whole truth to Colin.

Maja had her date with Christian last night and I’m dying to know how it went. I text her offering to cook dinner for us; we both need to catch up.

It’s all good and exciting until I go home and find her in tears.