Illusions Complete Series (95 page)

“Me too,” I said. “It was a different experience for me, and I have to say that it was one of the most erotic evenings of my entire life. Bar none.”

“Well, we need to get to our room,” Ryan said.

As we left, I gave one last glance back at Nick. He was watching both of us, his expression indiscernible. I hoped that this night had the needed effect on both of us – getting each other out of each other’s system. Our attraction to each other had no place to go, so we had put it all out there tonight. Of course, the risk was that the night would only result in the two of us wanting each other more. But that didn’t matter – I might have been attracted to Nick, but I didn’t love him. I only loved Ryan, and the sex between myself and Ryan was amazing in and of itself.

I had no need to be with Nick again.

I hoped that he felt the same about me.

Chapter Thirty-Two

I woke up the next day in Ryan’s arms. The light was streaming through the window, and Ryan was still fast asleep.

I felt nervous about the previous night. It was all so incredible, so fucking incredible, in the heat of the moment. But it was like how I was in the drug house – the highs that were experienced were out of this world, but the aftermath was more horrible than could be believed. I hoped that the three of us wouldn’t have a similar hangover. The whole thing might backfire on all of us, and cause problems that were unforeseen when we all were enjoying ourselves last night.

I nudged Ryan awake.

“Huh,” he said, with a start. Then he blinked a few times. “Oh my god. Was last night a dream?”

“No. Not unless we’ve learned to synchronize our dreams.”

“Ok. I thought I had the most amazing and erotic dream, but that really happened, huh?”

“Yeah. You feeling ok about all of that?”

“Of course. You were quite the cuckold. I never knew you had it in you.”

I smiled. “I have plenty of surprises. But I can’t reveal all at this point. You might get bored with me if you know all there is to know about me.”

“Fat chance,” he said. Then he lifted up the sheet. “Amazing. Even after all that, I still want you badly.” Then he rolled me over on my side, and entered me gently. He wrapped his arms around me while he thrust. “Just a little quickie before we go to breakfast, I promise,” he said. I nodded, feeling myself explode again. I thought that I would have been spent after all that happened the night before, but that wasn’t the case. In fact, I felt that my orgasm was stronger than usual that morning.

Within a few minutes, I heard him groan, then pull out. Then, he kissed me full on the mouth. “We have to go down and get some breakfast,” he said between kisses. “As much as I just want to stay here with you in bed all morning long.”

“Oh, me too. Me too.”

He kissed me for about fifteen minutes more, then sighed. “Ok, this is the last time, I promise,” he said as he entered me again.

I felt a little bit guilty about not going down to breakfast and seeing our daughter, but that was outweighed by the feeling that I was getting with every urgent thrust.

∞

Ryan and I finally made our way to the breakfast table around 10 AM. With a start, Ryan saw a familiar face around the table – his sister, Sarah.

Sarah rose and gave him and I a hug.

“Sarah, what are you doing here?”

“Um, I flew here last night. I couldn’t get ahold of you, so I got a hotel room last night, and came in this morning to see you.”

“You flew?” Ryan said, more surprised about this tidbit than the fact that she was there at all. “Where’s Cori?”

“Gil’s watching him.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Sit down,” she said.

I looked at Ryan, whose face was suddenly white as a sheet. There was obviously bad news that was being brought, and I silently prayed that Maggie was okay.

Ryan took a seat and just sat there and looked at Sarah silently. “Mom?” he said.

“No,” Sarah said shaking her head. “Dad.”

Ryan took a breath and let it out. Then he looked down at his hands, then back at his sister. “When? How?”

“Yesterday. He…his cancer came back. But he never told anybody. He passed away about seven o’clock last night.”

Ryan just nodded. “When…”

“I don’t know. I suppose he should be brought here, because this was where he spent most of his life.”

I looked at his face, and I think that I could read what he was thinking. While we were going at it, his father was breathing his last, and Sarah couldn’t get ahold of him to tell him.

Ryan continued to look at his hands. “Thank god we made our peace, huh?” he said. “Thank god for that.”

“Yes, that’s what I was thinking,” Sarah said. “Are you going to be ok?”

Ryan just continued to nod his head. “Yes, yes, of course, of course. Uh, I guess you and I better start making arrangements, huh?”

“That’s why I’m here.”

I finally chimed in. “Is there anything I can do?”

Ryan shook his head. “I’m uh, sure there is, but I just don’t know what it would be just yet.”

“I’ll do anything that you need me to do,” I said. “Anything at all.”

Ryan looked at Dalilah, who was sitting in her high chair and eating her breakfast. “Dalilah never got to meet him. Why does that make me sad?”

Sarah took Ryan’s hand. “I’m sure that you’re feeling complicated emotions right now. Do you need to talk about any of them?”

“No, no. I don’t know if my emotions are complicated. I mean, that man made my life a living hell. But I forgave him. There were no more words to say.” But, at that, he went into Nick’s den. “I need to be alone for a second, ok?” he said to nobody in particular.

Nick was sitting there at the table as well, but he was so quiet, I almost didn’t notice him.

I needed Nick’s guidance on this again, but last night made things very awkward between us, to say the least. “Um, Nick….do  you think Ryan’s going to be ok?”

“I’d say so. I don’t know, though. Ryan had a real love-hate relationship with his father, as you surely know.”

I decided to go into the den and see for myself how he was doing.

He was sitting there, motionless, staring at the fireplace that had no fire in it. I sat down and put my hand around his back. He looked at me, smiled wanly, then looked back down at the floor.

He didn’t talk for a few minutes. Then he said “it hasn’t hit me yet. But it’s going to seem weird, you know? My father hasn’t been in my life, yet he has always been so ever-present at the same time. He always knew what I was doing, and he was always there to help me. Like a father should. So, it’s strange – in a way, he acted like a father should act. Protective, willing to do anything to help me, even if the help was only coming from afar. Yet, he ruined my entire life as well. I…don’t know how to feel about this. What to think about this.”

“I understand,” I said. “There’s probably a part of you that’s is glad that he’s gone, but another part of you that just wants your dad. No matter his flaws, he gave you life. So, feel how you feel, but don’t try to judge it. Whatever your emotions about this, just know that there is no wrong feeling.”

“I know,” he said. “But, right now, there really isn’t time to sit here and ruminate about it. Sarah and I have to plan everything.”

“Of course,” I said.

At that, Ryan and I left the den and made our way to the kitchen table again to talk to Sarah and make arrangements.

Chapter Thirty-Three

The next few days were a whirlwind. Benjamin had made out a living will, which specified that he was to be cremated and his ashes scattered in the Atlantic Ocean, off the coast where he made his home in Rhode Island. It turned out that he was very fond of that particular mansion, and it was apparently his favorite home. Yet, Benjamin’s life was here, for the most part, and his friends and business associates were all here as well.

So, Sarah and Ryan decided to have a memorial here in Kansas City, then have another service in Rhode Island when Benjamin would be scattered at sea. Benjamin’s yacht would be used to scatter his ashes, as the state law specified that such services had to be performed a certain distance from the shore.

I made sure that Ryan was feeling mentally ok, but I sensed that this was not the case. Dalilah apparently picked up on Ryan’s distress as well, as she watched him with her eyes everywhere he went. “Daddy sad?” she asked me.

“Yes, very much so,” I said, although I wasn’t quite sure exactly how Ryan was feeling.

It turned out that part of his distress was the possibility that some of the people who would be attending the service would be some of the same people who tormented him at the sex parties all those years ago.

“What if I see somebody and I start remembering things again?” he said. Then he shook his head. “I can’t think about this,” he said. “Not right now. Right now, I have to get through the next week or so.”

“I’m right here,” I said. “If you feel any kind of anxiety, just let me know.”

“Thank god you’re here,” he said. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“I feel the same,” I said.

I helped Ryan write the eulogy, and I was right there when he and Sarah visited the funeral home and had to prepare the service.

The memorial occurred outdoors, and I was half afraid that it would not be well-attended, considering how Benjamin must have alienated a lot of people. That fear was not founded, though, as around 200 people showed up to see Ryan eulogize his father. Several other people spoke about him, as well. They talked about his charitable work and his enormous heart. I learned some things about him that I would have never imagined.

I learned that he financially supported street kids, and was personally responsible for fifty of these kids being able to pursue a good education at top schools. That his philanthropy extended to many different causes that were disparate – he helped animals, the environment, and people starving in Africa. Other people talked about his stay at the ashram, which was the reason why he was able to turn his life around.

I had to admit that I didn’t really know the man that these people spoke of. I only knew that Benjamin tormented my husband, and then he was able to get my husband to forgive him. I was surprised that all of these people had such affection for the man, but it seemed that they did. They didn’t seem to be acting.

Afterwards, everybody met at a five star restaurant that was rented out for the occasion. Ryan made his way around and tried to talk to everybody.

I drifted my way around as well. I heard snippets of conversation. “He only had three heirs. They’re going to be set for life.” And “I know! I didn’t know the man that they were eulogizing, either. I only knew a misogynistic bastard.”

I wanted to go up to these people and scream at them “A man is dead. Dead. Please refrain from making rude comments for just this one day!”

Instead, I bit my tongue and went on.

I drank from the cash bar for several hours, not really knowing what to do with myself. Ryan was still making the rounds, then I saw him and Sarah in the corner talking.

Ryan made his way over to me. He took my hands. “Uh, Sarah has to get back to her home soon. So, we scheduled the reading tomorrow. I hope that you can be there with me.”

I nodded. “Of course. That goes without saying.”

∞

We met with the attorney for Benjamin in a huge downtown high rise. Ryan and Sarah were very quiet. Maggie came in the law office as well. She didn’t attend the service, telling Ryan and Sarah that she had no desire to have anything to do with Benjamin at all. She never got the chance to make her peace with ex-husband.

Ryan turned to me. “Uh, you might be shocked a little at what my father was worth. I just wanted to warn you, in case you feel like freaking out.”

“Uh, I wouldn’t be freaked out about anything at this point.”

How wrong I was.

The lawyer informed Ryan, Maggie and Sarah that Benjamin’s will called for the three of them to split his assets three ways in equal measures. He read through the list of Benjamin’s property, which included stocks, paintings, coin collections, homes, and savings.

The total value of his assets was valued at $35 billion.

I couldn’t help it. My mouth flew open. $35 billion? How much money? Huh?

I heard little else. Suddenly Ryan and I were billionaires. Not merely millionaires, but billionaires. Multi-billionaires at that. Each of the three got around $11 billion in assets.

Billion with a B.

After the reading, I sat next to Ryan in silence on the way home in the Escalade. I had to process it all. We were suddenly not just rich, but super-rich, and if it took me awhile to get used to being wealthy, it would take me that much longer to adjust to being super-wealthy.

“What are you thinking, beautiful?”

“Just that none of this seems entirely real. I mean, that much money would never seem real to me. And I used to say that you could have too much money and you can also be too intelligent. That excessive money and excessive intelligence causes problems. Now, I have a little girl who is going to have both things, and I worry about how she is going to adjust.”

“I understand. But look at it this way. We have enough money now that we can do absolutely anything we want. We could do a lot of good in the world with this kind of money, even more than the money that we already had. The sky would be the limit. I always thought that, after my father passes, I would really like to get actively involved with setting a foundation that would be multi-faceted and geared towards improving the welfare of animals around the world.”

I looked at him. “That would be the best idea ever. Using this money to really do some good in the world, instead of just possessing it for selfish reasons.”

“Of course. There is just no way that I would just want to have this money just sitting in a bank somewhere, not doing anybody any good. You and I could become a team to figure out the best way to use this money.”

I smiled. I knew that Ryan wouldn’t give all of his father’s money away, but I thought that he probably would give a great deal of it away at any rate. “That sounds great! We should get on that as soon as we can.”