I'm Over It (16 page)

No, that’s not exactly true. Yes, I miss my mom. But my life wasn’t all that great. I didn’t have a life or friends. I just hung out with my mom. And I don’t regret that, but I’m different now. I’ve grown so much as a person. For the most part, I like who I’ve become. The only thing I don’t like is that I’m letting my stalker control my life. I’m in my room at nine p.m. on a Saturday night. I’m a college student. I should be at a frat party. Or I should be doing something crazy that I’ve never done before. Yolo, right?

An idea hits me, and I know
exactly
what I want to do.

I walk out of my room and into Gabe’s, where he and Ty are on the computer doing something stalker related, I’m sure.

“We’re leaving in five minutes. You might want to bring a towel,” I say, then walk out of the room before either of them can respond. I send a text to Carter and Andrea telling them they’re coming with me and that they don’t have a choice. I ignore them when they ask what we’re doing.

Tonight, I’m over letting Brian and Olivia call the shots. I am going to be fun and spontaneous. So what if I have a stalker who is threatening to kill me. What’s new? I can sit in my room and be depressed about it, or I can do something fun. I’m choosing fun.

Besides, what if they really do kill me? Do I really want to have spent the last night of my life sitting in my room? Hell, no.

Ten minutes later, Gabe, Ty, Andrea and Carter are all in my Range Rover. They have all asked what we’re doing and where we’re going, but I’m not answering them. I just turn up the radio and sing along. Who cares that I suck at singing. I’m having fun. It’s amazing how not giving a shit will change your perspective on things.

“What is up with you?” Andrea asks me. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in such a good mood.”

And
that
is sad.

“Did you get laid or something?” Carter asks. “Because that would make me be in a good mood. If I got laid. Which I haven’t. In a very, very long time. You know, if you were wondering.”

“We weren’t wondering,” Andrea assures him.

“I’m just in a good mood,” I say. “Can’t I be in a good mood without there being a reason why?”

“Yeah, Kihanna, I’m a little worried myself,” Ty says. “You’re never spontaneous.”

I shrug. “Nothing is up. I just want to live a little. Life is short.”

“She’s a little spontaneous,” Gabe says. “She cliff dived in Hawaii last Christmas break. She did it quite a few times, actually. And didn’t you say that you and your mom went skydiving a couple of times?”

“Yeah, we did,” I say. “My mom, unlike me, was a very spontaneous person.”

“We’re not going to jump off anything really high are we?” Andrea asks. “Because I am scared of heights.”

“No, we are not jumping off of anything. Or climbing anything. Or anything to do with heights,” I assure her. “We are just doing something I’ve always wanted to do but never have. It’s going to be fun.”

“Good,” she says, obviously relieved.

“But now that I know you’re scared of heights, I’m going to make you face your fear,” I say.

“Good luck with that,” Andrea says. “My dad tried to break my fear when I was six. He
forced
me to ride the Ferris wheel. I was so scared. I literally screamed until I passed out. It was the scariest experience of my life.”

“Wow, that’s kind of sad,” I say.

“So, what brought on the need to be spontaneous?” Carter asks. “You’re not dying or anything, right?”

“No,” I say. “Not right now, anyway. Eventually, I will die. And in case that day is tomorrow, I want to live right now. Yolo.”

“Ugh, don’t start with that yolo crap,” Andrea says.

“I’m kind of curious what brought this on, too,” Ty says, looking at me from the passenger seat. I know that he’s wondering if I got another note or threat. I give him the slightest head shake to know that I didn’t.

“I don’t know. Don’t you ever get tired of living in a bubble?” I ask. “I mean, I was literally sitting in my room on a Saturday night. What is wrong with me?”

“There is nothing wrong with sitting in your room on a Saturday night,” Carter says. “That’s exactly what I was doing. And playing some GTA.”

“GTA?” Andrea asks.

“Grant Theft Auto,” he says. “It’s a great way to let out aggressive feelings. You can beat somebody up, shoot them, run them over with your car... and you can pretend that it’s your ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend. It’s great.”

Gabe laughs. “Maybe I can come over next Saturday night and join you.”

“At least my ex is in another city with her new boyfriend,” Carter says. “I can’t imagine
living
with them.”

“Excuse me,” I say, butting in. “Gabe knew exactly what he was getting into when he moved in with me. He knew that Ty and I had been hooking up.”

“Hooking up is one thing. A relationship is another,” Gabe says, defensively.

“You’re the one who told me that you knew exactly what I was feeling for Ty. Hell, you knew before I did. So don’t sit there and try to act like the victim. You’re not. Besides, nobody is making you stay there. Feel free to move out anytime you want,” I say, then reach for the volume on the radio. “Screw this. I am
not
going to let you ruin my good mood.”

I turn up the volume just as my favorite song comes up on the playlist.

All negative thoughts about Gabe dissolve and I start singing along again.

Tonight, nothing can bring me down. Especially not my ex-boyfriend’s jealousy.

11 p.m.

Famous last words.

I don’t tell anybody where we’re going until we get there. And I still don’t tell them what we’re doing, because I’m pretty sure they would all think I’m nuts if I told them. But I don’t care. This is something I’ve always wanted to do. And I’m going to do it.

The place where we are brings back a lot of memories for me. Memories of Brian and me.

Brian took me on a date here, once.

He told me how much this place meant to him, because his dad used to take his family here before he died.

I can’t help but wonder how different my life would be if Brian’s dad hadn’t died. Would Olivia be the same person she is today? Did his death really change her that much? Maybe she was a nice girl before.

I know that Ty and Gabe keep insisting that Brian is guilty too, that he is somehow working with Olivia, but I don’t believe that. Brian was a good guy. He always treated me well, and I do believe that he was in love with me. He just didn’t love me
enough
. He loved his sister more, and I can’t fault him for that.

I’m also not sure
when
I came to that conclusion. I’ve been thinking it for a while, but sometime on the drive here, I made my mind up completely. And I feel really good about my decision. It means that I’m not the girl Ty once accused me of being. I
am
capable of loving somebody.

Also, I think I
might
be falling for Ty. Or maybe I already have fallen.

Not going there.

Not tonight anyway.

“Where are we going, exactly?” Andrea asks, as everybody follows me up a large hill.

“Just over this hill,” I answer.

“And what is on the other side?” she asks.

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”

“I’ve never been here,” Gabe says. “I didn’t even know it was here.”

“I know,” I say. “That’s what’s so great about it.”

“How do you even know this place exists?” he asks.

I don’t answer, because I don’t want to say that Brian showed it to me. I think that both Gabe and Ty would take it the wrong way.

We walk over the hill and in the distance there is a secluded beach.

I smile as I breathe in the salt water.

In silence, we walk to the beach, right to the water’s edge.

“Okay, what now?” Carter asks.

“Now, we get naked,” I answer.

“Naked?” Ty questions.

“Skinny dipping,” I say. “It’s on my bucket list. I’ve never done it, but I want to.”

“Are you serious?” Andrea asks.

“Yeah,” I say, taking off my Converse.

“We’re skinny dipping with two of your ex-boyfriends?” Carter asks.

“Actually, Ty and I are together again,” I say, taking off my hoodie.

“You’re crazy. It’s cold,” Gabe says. “There is no way in hell that I’m doing this.”

“Suite yourself,” I say, reaching for the zipper on my pants.

“I’m not getting naked in front of everybody,” Andrea says.

“Then don’t get all the way naked,” I say. “Just strip down to your underwear.”

“I don’t want to do that either,” she says.

I slip my shirt over my head. “A bikini covers less.”

She looks at me for a minute, as if contemplating what I said. “Fine,” she says. “I’m going to look fat next to you.”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever.”

“Seriously. You’ve got that whole thigh gap going on.”

“I’ll trade you my thigh gap for your boobs, and a butt. Clearly, I have neither of those,” I say.

Andrea takes a deep breath and reaches for the bottom of her hoodie. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Famous last words,” Carter says.

“I’m game,” Ty says.

Of course he is.

That’s why Ty and I are so perfect for each other. I go along with his crazy schemes, and he goes along with mine.

“You are so spontaneous and random,” Gabe says, pulling off his pants.

“You dated me for five months and you’re just now figuring that out?” I ask.

“I’m beginning to see why we didn’t work out,” he says.

“Me, too,” Andrea says. “You two were the oddest matched couple ever.”

“How did you start dating anyway?” Carter asks.

“I had just caught Ty cheating on me. I lost my virginity to Gabe at my parent’s cabin in the mountains later that night,” I answer.

“That’s messed up,” Carter says.

“Everybody ready?” I ask, changing the subject from my screwed up love life.

Well, I guess it’s technically not screwed up now. In fact, my love life is going pretty freaking great, for once in my life.

Ty stands beside me, and I grab his hands. Together, all of us take off towards the water.

And it’s fucking cold.

1 a.m.

Indecent exposure.

I am sitting in the back of a police car, wet and cold.

At least I have my clothes on now.

Bright side.

Apparently the beach that we went to wasn’t as secluded as I thought. And somebody called the cops on us. Just as we came out of the water, a cop showed up. We were arrested for indecent exposure, even Andrea, who was in her underwear.

Ty, sitting beside me, is grinning while shaking his head at me.

“Was getting arrested on your bucket list too?” he asks.

“No,” I answer. “Though, it will be a great story to tell our kids someday.”

“
Our
kids? As in the ones we have together?”

“Yep. All ten of them,” I joke.

“We can have as many kids as you want.”

“I’m
not
having ten kids,” I quickly say. “I was just kidding.”

“Thank God,” he says. “I was an only child, so I have no idea what I would do with ten kids.”

I laugh.

Hard.

“Why are you laughing?” Ty asks.

“We’re in the back of a police car, talking about how many kids we’re going to have. What is wrong with us?”

“It’s not like your dad won’t get us out of this mess,” he says, shrugging. “This is not my first offense, and I’ve definitely gotten arrested for worse.”

“Like what?” I ask.

“Well, once I got arrested for doubling the speed limit,” he says.

“So what? I double it all the time.”

“It’s a felony,” he says. “Also, I was in a sixty speed zone.”

“You were going one twenty?” I ask.

He nods. “I was handcuffed for about five seconds before the cop gets a phone call. Next thing I know, he’s undoing my cuffs and apologizing to me. Apparently they frown upon cops arresting the senator’s son.”

The door opens suddenly.

“Kihanna?” the cop says.

“Yeah?”

“You and your friends are free to go,” he says. “Sorry about the mix up. Mark Evers cleared everything up.”

Fuck.

I didn’t want my dad to know. I’d almost rather go to jail than have him know that I was caught in public naked.

“Thanks,” I say, getting out of the car.

A few minutes later, we are all surrounding my car, fully clothed.

“Great idea, Kihanna,” Andrea says. “Let’s go skinny dipping.”

“Whatever, it’s not like you got in trouble,” I say.

“Thank God, I didn’t. My mom would
kill
me if she knew what I did,” she says. “Especially since I was with a bunch of guys.”

“Speaking of parents, I’m going to call my dad,” I tell them. “Do you guys mind waiting in the car for me?”

Because, I need this conversation to be
over
.

They all nod, getting in the car, and I pull up my dad’s number. I pace back and forth by my car, waiting for him to answer.

“Hey,” Dad says, like all is right in the world.

“Hey,” I say back. “Umm... thanks for bailing me out of almost jail.”

My dad laughs.

“It’s not funny, Dad,” I say. “I almost went to prison.”

“You went skinny dipping. That’s hardly an offense that would send you to prison,” he says. “Next time, don’t get caught.”

“I’ll try,” I say, feeling relieved. “I really thought you’d be mad.”

“Naw,” he says. “I went skinny dipping with your mom when we were your age. If I remember correctly, it was that night that we conceived you. I can’t be mad at you for doing the same thing I did.”

“Ew,” I say, laughing.

“Maybe next weekend, you can come visit me,” he says.

“I will,” I say. “When I come home I will be there through Thanksgiving.”

“Perfect,” he says. “We’re going to New York City this year.”

“I’ve never been there.”

“It’ll be fun,” he says. “You’ll love the city.”

“I will,” I say. “I guess I should get off here. We’re going to drive back to campus now.”

“Have fun and be safe.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too,” he says.

I hang up the phone and get in the car.