Imaginary Grace (30 page)

I scampered back down the stairs and around to the back of the house, where the broken window was. It took only a minute to find it, despite the darkness and my lingering intoxication. I looked at it for a moment and knew I could easily hoist myself up. I reached up and effortlessly pushed it open, then placed my hands on the frozen sill and pulled myself up. Nice work, Grace, I thought, but when I went to throw my leg over the sill I lost my balance, tumbling through the open window and down onto the floor of Tanner’s room. The heels of Beth’s boots crashed loudly against the hardwood floors, and as I lay there, flat on my back, I stared up at the ceiling and started to giggle.

I can’t believe I just did that!
I slid myself up so that I was resting on my elbows and glanced around the dark room. Slowly I got to my feet and straightened my jacket. After closing the window against the frigid air, I crossed the room and turned on the little lamp on the nightstand.

The light hurt my eyes at first, causing me to squint as I scanned the room. Then I sat down on the edge of the bed and bounced a couple times.
This was so crazy!
I’d never done anything like it before!

Now what? I guessed I would just wait here for him to get home. I shook off my jacket and sweatshirt and then I pulled my boots off and lay down on his bed, resting my head on his pillow.

As I did, I heard my phone chirp with a text from Tanner.
Shows over. On way home. Wat ru doing?

I laughed to myself as I texted him back.
im in bed. Call me when u get home.
I put my phone down on the nightstand and lay back again, pulling the comforter over my legs. He should be home within the half hour.

As I reached over and turned the lamp off, I silently thanked the second shot of tequila –and Gary—for giving me the nerve to take on this little escapade.

Before too long, I heard what I assumed was Scott’s truck pull into the gravel driveway. My heart leapt in my chest; I was so excited to see Tanner, specifically, the look on his face when he saw me in his bed. The next thing I heard was the truck doors slamming shut, then muffled voices that slowly faded as they moved around to the front of the house. Then came faint footsteps on the front porch, followed by keys in the lock and, finally, the front door opened.

I heard Tanner’s voice and then Scott’s, but I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying. I listened intently as they moved around the living room, engaging in, from what little I could make out, conversation about the show. Any minute now he’d be waltzing through that bedroom door and…

Chapter 42

Tanner

I
left Scott standing in the living room and went into the kitchen to grab myself a beer. The show had been totally out of control tonight, with a rowdier-than-usual crowd that demanded several encores. Flattering, for sure, but by the time we finally wrapped the bar was closing and I was dying for a drink.

At first I’d thought it odd that Scott was going home alone, but on the drive back he told me that he’d “taken care of business”, as he put it, in the parking lot with none other than Danielle, the waitress from Reggie and Pete’s.

“I’m turning in. I’m beat,” he said as he walked back to his room. “See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, okay,” I said, as I turned the TV on, kicked off my Nikes and settled on the couch. As soon as I heard his door close I lowered the TV and pulled out my phone to call Grace.

I put the bottle to my lips and let the cool amber liquid pour down my throat as I waited for her to pick up.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Nothing,” she answered in a kind of sing-songy voice, which meant she’d probably had a few too many.

“Oh, you sound like you had a good time tonight.”

“Yeah, it was okay,” she said, then proceeded to tell me all about it. Finally she asked, “Are you in bed?”

“No, not yet,” I said as I stretched out on the couch, took another long sip of beer, and absently looked at the TV.

“Um…why don’t you go in your room?” she said.

“Nah, I want to lie here on the couch and hear more about your night,” I told her.

“Oh, I have a good story, but you have to be in bed for me to tell you,” she insisted.

“Okay, hold on a minute,” I told her and then waited a minute. “Okay, I’m in bed,” I lied.

“No you’re not.”

“Yeah, I am,” I lied again.

“Um, no, you’re not,” she said with a giggle.

“And how would you know that?” I said, and then I paused with my beer midway to my mouth.
No way.
I stood up and padded across the room and down the short hallway to my bedroom. I slowly opened the door a crack and slid though, closing it quickly behind me as I whispered, “No…fucking…way!”

There was silence for a few seconds, and then I heard Grace’s voice say, barely above a whisper, “Yes…effing…way.” A giggle escaped her lips.

I knew that this was probably
not
a good idea, but that didn’t stop me from climbing into bed next to her. I’d always managed to control myself before, and I would do the same tonight.

“How the heck did you get in here?”

“The window,” she said, pointing to the small bedroom window on the far wall.

“No way…you climbed in my bedroom window! That’s so fucking hot.” I leaned back on the pillow and folded my arms behind my head, smiling to myself at this interesting turn of events. Then I shifted my eyes towards her in the dark and said, “Just how much did you have to drink tonight, anyway? Because this seems a bit, um, I dunno – out of character for you. I’m even thinking ‘out of character’ is putting it mildly.”

She curled herself up next to me, wrapping her arms around me, and said “Mmm, you could say that, since the idea popped into my head after a second shot of tequila.”

“Tequila! Uh oh, you
must
be drunk then,” I said, laughing lightly.

“Well,” she began, “I admit I
was
drunk when I left, but the cold took care of that. Hey, by the way, have you ever heard of a game called Blackwell?”

“Blackwell?” I said as I turned my head sharply toward her. “Don’t tell me you played Blackwell.”

“No,
I
didn’t play, but two of the girls we were with did. There was a whole group playing, but I wasn’t able to follow it.”

“It’s just some crazy dice game,” I told her. “I heard it’s been around for at least twenty years, but you’ve got to be careful playing it because you can get totally shitfaced. I played it once down at the Jersey Shore with a group of people who claimed they had the original Blackwell dice from the early ‘90s and that a relative of theirs invented it, but who knows?”

“Oh,” she said as she slipped her hand under my shirt and started slowly running her fingers across my stomach. “I’d never heard of it, but it seemed like everyone else knew what it was.”

“Yeah, remind me to show you some time.” I shut my eyes for a minute, getting lost in the feel of her fingers lightly tickling my stomach. “You can
not
imagine how good that feels right now.”

She didn’t answer. Instead she got up and sat astride me, smiling down at me. As I watched her sitting there, bathed in the moonlight, I knew that things were about to change and there’d be no turning back.

Slowly her smile faded and she just stared down at me, lips slightly parted, as she reached down and slowly but deliberately slipped her shirt off to reveal the now infamous white cotton bra. She didn’t move as I slowly brought my hands around her waist. Her eyes closed, but only for a few seconds, as I reached around and unhooked her bra, causing it to slide off her shoulders and then slip the rest of the way down her arms.

Her hair hung all loose around her bare shoulders and down her back. As I stared up at her, I saw in her eyes a burning that I’d never seen before. She reached down and slid her hands up my shirt, running her fingers slowly up my bare chest.

“Take this off,” she said quietly as she tugged at my shirt. I came up on my elbows and allowed her to reach behind me and pull it off. Then I fell back onto the pillow and brought my hands back to her slim waist. Without thinking and without taking my eyes from hers, I reached my fingers down and undid the top button of her jeans. As I started to slowly inch the zipper down, I noticed her breath catch and her eyes widen ever so slightly, like maybe she was having second thoughts, so I stopped and slid my hand over to her thigh.

Apparently I was mistaken, though, because she brought her hand around and slowly pulled the zipper the rest of the way herself. As I watched her, my breathing became ragged and I grabbed both her thighs tightly. She brought herself down and slid up my chest, pressing herself snugly against me. She swept her arms around my neck, then ran her tongue up my throat…and that’s when I lost it.

Feeling her warm little tongue lapping at my neck sent me over the edge. For a minute, I forgot my own name. I flipped her over onto her back and, in one swift motion, tore off her jeans and what I could only assume was the match to the white cotton bra. After flinging her jeans across the room, I climbed on top of her and let my hands roam every inch of her as my lips followed.

Panting slightly, she reached over, unbuttoned my jeans, and worked the zipper down. Ignoring the red flags in my head, I began to maneuver my way out of them, leaving me in nothing but a pair of boxers and her in…
nothing
.

She started kissing me, then I felt her hand slip just inside my boxers. I was letting things go too far -
again
. “Grace,” I whispered, but she didn’t respond. She just pulled at my boxers until they were about at my knees, at which point I just kicked them off.

She very hesitantly reached down and wrapped her hand lightly around me. “Grace,” I sputtered again, but still she didn’t say anything. As I tried to say her name again, she brought her hand up to my mouth, covering it. Without meeting my eyes she very quietly said, “Don’t make me beg.”

All along I’d been trying to do the right thing, but hearing Grace’s soft voice whisper those words—not to mention the fact that I hadn’t been laid in I didn’t even know how long--sealed our fate.

She gently pulled at my shoulder, guiding me on top of her so that I was resting between her open knees. As I half-heartedly tried to protest one last time, she reached up, putting her hands on either side of my face and whispered, “Tanner, it’s okay…I…I love you.”

She loves me?!

I’d heard people describe a moment when time literally stood still, and I’d always thought it was a bunch of bullshit. But that’s what happened when Grace told me she loved me. I froze. Plenty of girls had said it to me, but none had really meant it, at least not the way Grace did. A part of me wanted to run for the nearest exit, but it was small compared to the part of me that could not let this moment pass.

I reached over, opened my nightstand drawer, and felt around for a condom, but came up empty. That’s when I remembered that I’d tossed the box of condoms to Scott the other night.
Shit.
I was always careful with the girls I screwed; it was one of the few rules I followed to the letter. For a moment I thought about getting up, going over to his room, and asking for the condoms, but I immediately dismissed it. He would ask a million questions, make a million jokes, and undoubtedly ruin the whole thing. I looked down at Grace, eyes half closed, lips parted, waiting for me, and all I could think about was being inside her.

I brought myself up on one elbow while my other hand gripped her thigh, then I smoothly pushed inside her.

I felt her stiffen and saw her bite down hard on her bottom lip so I stopped, but then she seemed to relax a bit so I continued as gently as I could. Her knees gripped my hips tightly and as I rocked into her again, her eyes squeezed shut. Again I slowed, but her fingers kept digging into my back, pulling me closer. It was becoming increasingly difficult to stay in control with each and every movement, but the more she relaxed, the steadier I was able to move.

She slowly began to loosen the grip her thighs had on me, and that’s when our bodies began to settle into an almost perfect rhythm. “Tanner,” she quietly sighed, and the sound of her soft voice breathing out my name was enough to send me into overdrive as I began to move faster, pressing deeper inside.

I kept at it until I couldn’t hold back any longer, feeling every muscle in my body tense until, with a groan, I finally collapsed on top of her.

I didn’t move for a minute, just lay there panting, listening to her frantically beating heart. Neither of us said anything as I rolled over onto my back, but she did turn to her side and curl up next to me, resting her head in the crook of my neck. I closed my eyes as I felt the warmth of her breath on my neck and I thought to myself,
Holy shit, that was fucking incredible
.

I glanced over at her, wondering if she felt the same. “Um…are you all right?” I asked for lack of something better. She only nodded, and I didn’t know what else to say. My usual M.O. was to just get up and leave, or tell the girl to basically get up and leave (although not in those exact words), but this time I didn’t want either.

The rather awkward silence was broken when I heard Grace say, “Um, I’m kind of cold.”

“Oh, here,” I said, pulling the blue comforter up around us. Then I slid myself over so I was on top of her again, and I leaned down and started kissing her slowly. “You’ll stay tonight, right?”

She didn’t answer right away, but then she said, “It depends.”

I jerked my head up and looked at her. “Depends?” Depends on what?”

She looked up at me as a mischievous half-smile spread across her face. “Well, it depends…can we do it again later?”

I looked at her for a minute, then burst out laughing. With that one simple sentence, any awkwardness that I thought might have existed between us was gone. “Uh, I think I can pretty much guarantee it,” I said, still laughing.

“Okay,” she said as she reached her arms up, wrapping them around my neck. “Then I’m definitely staying.”

I rolled onto my side and pulled her to my chest, but she started to squirm away. “Can I use your bathroom? I can’t go to sleep without brushing my teeth.”

“Yeah, sure, go ahead. Oh, and just use my toothbrush. I don’t have a spare. It’s the blue one.”

“Okay, give me something to throw on – a big t-shirt or something,” she said as she sat up, still wrapped in the comforter. I felt around for my shirt, tossed it to her, and then watched as she tried to put it on with the comforter still wrapped around her. I thought it was funny the way she was trying to keep herself covered up while putting my shirt on. I mean really, I’d just seen about everything there was to see, but I didn’t say anything.

“Okay,” she said as she got up. “I’ll be right back.” She crossed the room and slipped through the door. I lay back on the pillows and held my breath, hoping that she didn’t run into Scott.

As I lay there, I replayed in my mind everything that happened tonight. It was friggin’ awesome. The only fly in the ointment was that I had stupidly thrown caution to the wind. I couldn’t let that happen again, I thought as I got out of bed and quickly threw on a pair of sweats. I couldn’t very well wake up Scott and ask him for the box of condoms back, but there were a few in my car, so I grabbed a sweatshirt and my sneakers and went out to my car where I dug a few out of the glove compartment before quickly heading back inside.

Grace was already back in bed when I got back. “Where’d you go?” she asked.

“Oh, I just had to get something,” I said vaguely as I crawled back into bed, removing my sweatshirt and shirt as I did. Once under the covers, I pulled Grace over, slipping the shirt she was wearing off and then wrapping myself around her. She felt so good pressed up against me, her face resting sideways against my chest. And her hair, it smelled unbelievable.

As I held her like that, I knew that I never wanted to let her go. It didn’t matter how it had all started, all I cared about was how it had ended up.

“Grace,” I whispered.

“What?” she answered just as quietly as she let out a yawn.

“I…love you too.” I felt her smile against my chest and she hugged me a little tighter as I breathed in the scent of her hair one last time before drifting off into a perfectly content, peaceful sleep.