Imaginary Grace (9 page)

Chapter 11

Grace

“H
ey Grace, what did your mom say when you told her Tanner was stopping by next week?” Beth asked.

“Well…” I looked up from my textbook and over at Beth. She was rearranging her clothes for the third time that week. “I haven’t actually told her yet.”

“You haven’t. Why not?”

“I just don’t want to jinx it. I’m afraid that if I say something, he’ll wind up cancelling. But that’s not the only reason,” I said, exhaling noisily. “As soon as I tell her, she’s going to have a million and one questions. And she’s going to think he’s like my boyfriend or something and it might get weird when—
if
—he comes.”

“Well he sort of is your boyfriend, right? So why do you think it would be weird?”

“Because I’ve never had guys over the house. I mean, I’ve had friends over, of course, but not like this; not someone I
really
liked.”

“Oh, I get it,” she said, holding up a purple tank top, “but you better tell her. What if she makes plans or something?” She scrunched her nose as she scrutinized the top, then shoved it to the back of the closet. “Call her now or better yet, just text her. That way it will seem like it’s no big deal.”

I nodded. “Hmm, that’s actually a good idea.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and shot my mom a text before I lost my nerve.

A few minutes later her reply came through:
sure, that’s fine. Will ur friend be staying over?

I texted back a simple:
No, he won’t
, and then stared at the screen, waiting for the inevitable.

A minute later:
He? :).

I texted back:
yeah. I have 2 go, ttyl
. I could just imagine everything that must be swirling through her head right now.

The next afternoon, I decided to go for a jog. There wouldn’t be too many more nice days before winter set in and I wanted to take advantage. As soon as class ended, I headed back to the dorm to change clothes and grab my iPod; then, ear buds firmly in place, I started out. I wasn’t headed anywhere in particular, I just disappeared into the music and let my feet take me where they would. I had been jogging for about twenty minutes when all of a sudden the music stopped. I slowed down to a crawl and tried pushing some of the buttons, but it was no use; the iPod was dead. I knew I should have charged it last night. I rolled the wire around it and was slipping it into my pocket when I heard someone call my name. When I turned in the direction of the voice, I was surprised to see Scott walking towards me.

“Hey Grace,” he said, smiling. “What brings you over to this side of town?”

“Oh, just out for a run. Do you—uh--live around here?” I shifted uncomfortably. It was weird to admit that I didn’t know where Tanner lived after we’d been hanging out.

He pointed across the street and said, “That’s our apartment, over there. Tanner should be home soon-- why don’t you stop over?”

“Oh…I don’t know…” I began, “He’s not expecting me…”

“Don’t be silly,” Scott said, taking hold of my arm, “I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.” Then he was leading me across the street.

“Well, if you’re sure he won’t mind,” I said, giving Scott one more chance to change his mind.

“Oh, I’m sure.” He flashed me another smile.

Once across the street we walked a short distance until we came to a row of older homes. “This is it,” he said, pointing to a neat-looking two-story brick house situated midway down the block, “Our apartment’s on the first floor.” Pulling out his keys, he walked up the two steps and unlocked the front door before gallantly stepping back so I could enter.

I walked into a decent-sized living room with two couches, a small coffee table and a large flat-screen TV. To the right was a small galley kitchen with a window that looked out onto the street. There was no room for a kitchen table, just a long half-wall with three stools separating the kitchen from the living room.

To the left there was a small hallway with three doors, which I assumed led to the two bedrooms and the bathroom. It was small, but neat; I might even call it cozy.

“Have a seat,” he said, motioning to the couch. “I’ll get you a drink.” He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. “We got Coke, beer, water, and orange juice.”

“Just water, thanks,” I said, still a bit ill at ease.

He brought me the water and an OJ for himself, then sat on the opposite couch. As if sensing my discomfort, he smiled again, saying, “Tanner should be home soon.”

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when the front door opened and Tanner walked in, carrying two bags of groceries. My stomach did a nervous flip.

“Hey T, look who I ran into.” Scott boomed.

My stomach flipped again when I saw the look on Tanner’s face. Let’s just say he was shocked to see me sitting there, and not necessarily in a good way.

“Grace… wow… what a nice surprise.” He managed a smile as he said it, but the damage had already been done. I wanted out of there, and fast.

“Listen,” I said as I placed my water on the table and stood, “it looks like you’re busy and I have to get back anyway.” I started slowly sidling toward the door. “I’ll see you in class…or maybe at the gym.”

“Grace, wait…” He put the groceries on the counter and walked over to me. “I’m sorry. I just wasn’t expecting to see you sitting on my couch. Don’t go.”

Just then, Scott stood up. “I think I’ll leave you two alone.” He winked cheekily, then turned and went into one of the bedrooms, leaving the two of us standing there awkwardly.

“Hey, why don’t you help me put these groceries away?” Tanner said playfully. I hesitated for a moment, then followed him into the small kitchen. “Have a seat,” he said, motioning to one of the stools, then started pulling various items from the bags and putting them away. The last thing he grabbed was a box of cereal (Cheerios, I think), and as he reached up to open the cabinet above the fridge, his tight grey t-shirt rose just enough to give me a glimpse of his finely chiseled abs. With great effort, I pulled my eyes away just as he turned around. My face grew hot and I prayed he hadn’t noticed my stare.

He folded the bags up, then put his hand out to me and said, “Come here.” I stood up from the stool, took his hand, and allowed him to lead me to the couch. We sat there silently for a minute, and just as I was about to die from discomfort, he slowly turned to look at me. “Grace…um…jeez…I gotta be honest with you...”

He seemed nervous too, his voice, the way he ran his fingers through his hair.
Here it comes, the brush off.

“I’ve been trying to think of a subtle way to get you back to my apartment for the last few weeks.”

I felt my jaw drop. “Really?”

He moved closer to me and shifted his body so we were facing each other. “Yeah…really.” He rested his hand on my knee, sending a current of electricity up my leg and into my chest. “So, what would you have said if I’d asked you to come hang out here?”

“I…I would have said…okay,” I uttered, barely above a whisper.

His face split into a crooked grin. “Really…?” he said, moving in even closer. Suddenly, I felt myself leaning slowly back until my body was resting against the arm of the couch. Our faces were now just inches apart, and my heart was pounding so hard I was afraid he could hear it.

I wanted to reach out and grab that sexy hair of his and pull him towards me, but I was frozen. Then, before I knew what was happening, his lips were locked onto mine and his hands were slowly sliding up the back of my shirt. They came to rest on the small of my back.

Was this really happening?!
It was everything …
and more…
than I ever could have imagined it would be. About a minute or two into
the biggest event of the century
I heard a door open down the hall, then footsteps in the hallway.

I immediately placed my hands to his chest, pushing him away as Scott walked into the room looking down at a magazine, completely oblivious.

Tanner looked confused for a moment, then noticed his friend padding toward the fridge. He shot me a wicked grin and slid back to his side of the couch.

Finally Scott glanced up at us, smiled, and commented on an article he was reading. At least, I think that’s what he said; I was still trying, unsuccessfully, to recover from Tanner’s kiss.

After a few minutes of small talk, I stood up and said, “Well, I better get going; Beth’ll think I got lost or something.” Tanner stood too, walked me to the door, and held it open for me. I stepped out onto the front porch and turned back for one last look at Tanner. He was leaning against the doorjamb, arms crossed. Perfection.

“Bye, Grace…thanks for stopping by…”

I looked at him with that lazy smile spread across his face, and I knew in that moment that I would’ve done anything for him. I nodded, then slowly turned and headed down the stairs, allowing myself one last look when I reached the sidewalk. Tanner was still watching me. He waved, then turned back into the house and shut the door.

After I rounded the corner I broke into a slow jog, my mind reeling. All the way home, the events at Tanner’s house replayed in my mind on a continuous loop. I barely remembered getting back to the dorm; suddenly, I was just there, bounding up the stairs to our room and unlocking the door. Beth was sitting on her bed doing homework.

She looked up at me, her eyes widening in surprise. “What the heck happened to you? You look like you just ran a marathon.”

“Well, I did just finish up a run, but Beth, Oh. My. God. Just
wait
until I tell you where I just was and what happened!”

I walked over and sat on my bed, pretending to ignore her expectant stare. “Maybe I’ll take a shower first…”

“Like hell you will!”

I laughed. “Okay, okay.” I proceeded to recount the past few hours, including how Tanner had stood in the doorway, watching me walk away.

When I finished, Beth was just staring at me, her eyes wide, mouth open. “No effing way!”

“Beth, it was like the craziest thing,” I said.

“Whoa, wait a minute. I want details. Like, was it just a kiss or was it a whole make-out session?”

“Well it was definitely more than just a kiss; I’d say somewhere between a kiss and a make-out, but it would have been a
total
make-out session if Scott hadn’t walked in.”

“So what did Scott say when he walked in?”

“Nothing,” I said with a shrug. “I jumped up pretty quick, so I don’t think he noticed.”

“Question…”she said. “…what do you think would have happened if Scott hadn’t walked in – or better yet, what if Scott hadn’t been there at all? – what would have happened then?”

That same question
had
crossed my mind – several times-- on the way home and each time it did, I shooed it away. I didn’t want to think about what would have happened if Scott hadn’t been there – well, actually, I did want to think about it – LOTS!

“I don’t know, Beth, but I have a feeling I wouldn’t have stopped him.”

Beth sat up surprised, “Wow, Grace, I can’t believe you’re saying that. Are you sure? That would be a big step for you.”

“I know,” I said, “but why not? Why shouldn’t I? Everybody else is…and besides, I’m
crazy
about him!”

“Grace, just don’t rush into anything. Don’t do anything you’ll regret later.”

I sighed. “I know; you’re right. It’s just that’s he’s got me so crazy right now.”

“Is he still coming to your parents’ over Thanksgiving break?”

Just the thought of him backing out, especially after I’d told my mother, made my stomach clench. “I’m assuming he is…at least I haven’t heard anything different. I’ll give him the directions when I see him in class,” I said, and that brought up a new fear. Would things be weird between us now, after our little “encounter”?

I asked Beth what she thought and she said, “Probably at first, so you should just try to act normal, like nothing happened. That’s probably what he’ll do.”

“You’re right,” I said, grateful that I had a roommate who always seemed to have the right answer. “I’ll just try to pretend that it was no big deal.”

Yeah right!

I didn’t see Tanner again until class on Friday and I was kind of uneasy about it. I hadn’t even gotten a text from him. I played out every scenario in my head, every reason I might not have heard from him – homework, work, family emergency, car accident . . . or the dreaded
I’ve decided I’m just not that into you.

The closer I got to the classroom, the more anxious I got. By the time I walked in and found a seat, I thought I might throw up. Finally he walked in, and I started rummaging through my bag, pretending to be looking for something. He took the seat behind me, put his hand on my shoulder, and gently squeezed. “Hey, babe, what’s up?”

Did he just call me babe?

“This week was crazy; sorry I didn’t get a chance to call you.”

“Oh, that’s okay,” I said, barely glancing up. “Oh, I have the directions for you, you know, to my parents’ house...” I pulled the piece of paper out of my bag and handed it to him.

“Oh, cool, thanks,” he said as he quickly scanned them. “Looks easy enough. I’ll text you when we’re leaving so you know when to expect us.”

“Great,” I nodded, then faced front as class began. The lecture seemed even longer than usual, and when it was finally over, Tanner waited while I gathered my things and we walked out together. There was no mention of what had happened at his house. “Do you mind if I walk you home?” he asked.

“Not at all,” I said, all giddy inside. We didn’t say much on the ten-minute walk to my building, but when we got there he pointed to the concrete steps and said, “Do you want to sit for a minute?”

“Sure,” I said, getting that nervous feeling again, that impending sense of doom.

We made small talk about class for a few minutes, then he put his hand on my knee. “Listen, I probably won’t see you again until next week at your house. I’m working Saturday and then I’m heading to my parent’s. They need some help around the house with some stuff.”