Immortal Distraction (22 page)

Her cheeks were flushed, and she couldn’t seem to keep her mouth closed as he gently aroused her body with his mouth. She felt out of breath, though she’d had little exertion yet. She didn’t look at all herself. Her normally pinched and harsh expression was gone, and it almost scared her. She didn’t know how to function without it, and yet she enjoyed letting it go so very much with him. When he stood behind her as his hands continued to knead and massage the round cheeks of her bottom, he caught her looking at herself.

“You don’t have any idea how beautiful you are, do you?” She watched him but said nothing. Her admission the night before of just how awful her tormentors had made her feel as a young teenager was still fresh in her mind and quite obviously, his too. As a child, the rare time or two she’d looked in the mirror and not felt complete disgust at what she saw looking back at her were short lived. It took no time at all for her classmates to steal even the slightest amount of confidence and dignity, and she struggled to feel anything good about herself even today—still hearing the insults and ugly words they had thrown at her. She hid that self-pity and self-loathing well, masked it behind a facade of attitude, but she couldn’t hide from him. He’d toppled that wall with nothing more than a subtle blow of his seductive breath to her brick and mortar exterior.

He kissed her neck gently, watching her with his seductive eyes. He was waiting for the answer that she wasn’t willing to speak. When his hands that were still gently rubbing the cheeks of her bottom moved around her hips to her sex, he gently pried her lips apart as she gasped and stroked a finger over her clitoris. Her breath came out as a hiss, and he groaned quietly against her neck. And when he whispered, “Bend over,” in her ear, she didn’t pause for even a moment.

Her legs were set tight by the constraint of her pants at her ankles, and she wasn’t entirely sure how this was going to work. She listened as his zipper lowered, and she closed her eyes, resting her forehead on the railing that encircled the interior of the elevator. She was waiting for the touch. First, it was just a slight nudge to the closed lips of her vagina with the head of his cock. Then it was his fingers caressing and tickling along the outside of her lips. When he ran a finger down her slit and slipped it between her lips, she could feel the wetness give way as he slid gently through, and when the head of his cock nudged again, he pushed against the wet slit as his fingers gently parted her lips.

His cockhead pushed beyond her tight lips and snugly into her channel as he groaned in pleasure and she gasped at the pressure. It was always tight and bordered on painful with him, but this was intense. The tight passage was restricted and narrowed by the set of her thighs, and she could feel him sliding along the sensitive skin of her lips as he pressed firmly and forcefully into her body.

He was watching her with a challenging expression on his face. He knew exactly what he was doing to her, and he knew the effect he was having on her body. When he pulled out, it was entirely out, and then slowly past the tight lips of her vagina again. Over and over, he left her body before forcing past her tight lips into her equally tight sheath. Soon the friction built to a warm pulsing vibration quivering through her groin, and she was moaning quietly as he watched her.

He caressed her bottom as he kept pushing and thrusting into her. He dipped his finger between her buttocks, pausing over the tight puckered hole of her anus. She clenched her muscles inadvertently, and it tightened her entire groin around his thrust, expelling a deep and guttural groan from him. But he didn’t pull his lingering finger from her bottom. Instead, he leaned over her body, driving his erection painfully deep to her core.

“I want you to give me this…” He was stroking lightly and softly over her anus, a complete contradiction to the deep ache his cock was inflicting on her pussy. His lips tickled her ear as he spoke, and he remained deep inside her. He wrapped his free hand around her waist and rested it on her lower stomach. She wasn’t entirely sure he couldn’t feel his thick length through her belly. He caressed her, releasing some of the tension and allowing her body to relax enough to accept his deep penetration. “But not today.” She relaxed further at his words. She wasn’t ready for that, and frankly, it frightened her to consider. “I need far more time with you than what I can take in an elevator to get you ready for me here.” He kept stroking his finger over the tight entry of her bottom, and she loved the intimacy of it, even if what he was proposing was terrifying.

He was too large. He had to be, but his confident and calm voice made it clear he wasn’t just toying with her. “Why?” Did she really need to hear this answer? It wasn’t as if she was unaware that men enjoyed putting women in such positions, but it wasn’t a position she’d been in before, and she didn’t know if she could hack it. At the very least, she deserved to hear why it was important to him.

“I like you submitting to me, and I can think of no submission more intimate and personal.” He was still at her ear, grinding into her body as his finger stroked.

“I don’t submit to you.” She didn’t sound very convincing as he thrust into her as she tried to get the words out.

He chuckled, but it was interrupted by his deep groan as she clamped down hard on his rigid penetration. “Oh God, Brit.” And more chuckling as he pulled slowly from her body and pounded back in. “Don’t kid yourself, love. You’re one of the most difficult people I’ve met…” Another deep thrust. “…and the fact you let me control your body in exactly the way I want…” Slow withdrawal. “…shows clearly your submission to me.” She scowled at him and pulled forward as he tried to enter her again, but a swift clutch of his hand to her stomach again, and he was right back where he started, pushing inside her body. “Relax. No one needs to know just how pliant and agreeable you can be except me.”

“I thought you weren’t one of those men. Too theatrical, remember?” She grunted midsentence as he hit her depths again.

He pounded into her body then, swiftly pushing deep and pulling fast. She was groaning even though she wanted to fight it. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction after he’d challenged her. And at the same time, she wanted to come unhinged by him. Her orgasm won in the end, and when she dropped her forehead to the mirrored wall in front of her, it was to catch her breath as he came too and emptied himself in her.

“Now listen to me, Brit, because this is important.” She lifted her head to see his serious expression in the mirror over her shoulder. His voice was as serious as the look in his eyes and as he started to speak, her mouth dropped open and she listened intently. “I will never do anything to your body that’s not meant to completely pleasure you, and I abhor even the idea of your pain. If I ever choose to tie you up, it will only be to make the experience more pleasurable as I make you come over and over and over. And there will never be a time when I want you to feel like you are less than me or owe me some subservience. Not ever. Your submission to my desires is your trust in my intentions with you.” And then leaning to her ear, his face softened, and he spoke on a quiet breath. “And I need that. I need your trust.” There was a vulnerability to his eyes that she hadn’t seen in him before. His body was still snug and tight to hers, and she was overcome with the need to kiss him suddenly.

When she stood up, he pulled his cock from her body, and she turned to him, taking a deep breath. She reached for his face and pulled his mouth to hers. She kissed him gently, wanting to give him everything he needed but clueless as to what that really entailed. When she pulled her lips from his, his jaw clenched. “I meant it when I said you could have all the control you need in life, but that fight has no place between us.” She nodded, and he leaned to her mouth again. It was far too easy to give into him. There was no fight at all with him. What resistance she gave him was nothing more than a fleeting shadow of her former attitude. It was a dying fish flopping around, waiting for its end. She just couldn’t maintain her old self with him.

Her old self didn’t get involved with men, didn’t take time for personal relationships like this. She didn’t let her guard down for a moment with anyone, and she fought hard to protect herself from pain and hurt. She made herself invincible by shutting out the world, and she sure as hell didn’t believe in vampires, much less fuck them. But that was a dying ideology that barely existed anymore, at least not with him. She was a little bit screwed if she couldn’t get this under control, because this was not a man she had a future with.

Chapter 20

“What does it mean when you feel like you’re going to die when you imagine a particular person being hurt?” His gaze was far away as he spoke, staring out his living room window. The sun was disappearing fast, and she wasn’t home yet.

“That you’re fucked.” Truman chuckled as he lounged on Angus’ couch.

“That’s what I was afraid of.”

“Are you going to tell her how you feel?”

“Tell her what?”

“That you love her.”

“I don’t love her. What the hell would be the point of that?”

“I thought I explained this before. It’s its own point, idiot.” He was still chuckling and watching Angus with a most amused grin.

“I’m not you, Tru. And I’m not willing to attach myself to something I have to give up.”

Truman shook his head. “I can’t tell you how to feel about her mortality. I was always prepared to deal with Ember’s before she turned, but God, I can’t imagine not having her immortal now that she is. I can’t imagine being forced to let her go. That’s tough.”

“It’s not tough because I’m not going to fall for her and let it matter. I don’t fall in love.”

“You think it’s your choice. How cute.” Truman was mocking him.

Angus didn’t respond but turned and looked at his friend. His inability to stop thinking about her, worrying about her, fucking her all meant something more than he was willing to accept. And frankly, it didn’t really matter if he was willing to accept it or not. She was still going to destroy him in the end regardless of whether he was willing to accept how he felt. He’d go insane if he lost her, and yet, he
was
going to lose her. It really didn’t matter if it was after Driscoll was taken out or at the end of her life, he’d have to give her up. Could he stop himself from caring about her just to save his own heart, his own sanity? He couldn’t stop himself from doing anything with her, let alone caring about her.

“She’s good for you.”

“Huh?” He was so far away in his own mind he’d missed the comment the first time.

“She’s good for you. Ember thinks so too.”

“Hmm. And what does your good wife have to say about her?”

“It’s as much to do with you as Brit. She thinks you complement one another. She thinks all the greatest lovers in the world do. You give her what she needs and she does the same for you.”

“She thinks my life is lacking in some way and Brit fills that void?”

“Do you really want to have this conversation?” He nodded. “Fine. Yes, that’s exactly what she thinks.”

“Go on.”

“You both had lousy upbringings—for extremely different reasons, but still. You both came from homes where you were neglected, and your personalities were very much affected by that neglect. Brit shut out the world. She put up a wall, a very harsh and sturdy one.” And then he looked at Angus with a degree of hesitation and a sigh. “And you shut out the world too.” Angus scoffed for a moment, but eventually let it go and listened. “Your wall was decidedly different than Brit’s, but a wall nevertheless. You lived half a millennia not developing any real emotional attachment to another. Not even allowing yourself the option of it. Hell you’re still fighting it tooth and nail. You treated relationships as casual, insignificant things, a game even. And from what Ember says, that’s as much a wall as anything. Keeps you safely unattached.”

He was intrigued, even if he didn’t want to admit it. “So, that doesn’t really explain what it is you … I’m sorry, you’re shrink wife thinks we bring to one another.”

“Brit challenged you. She made it impossible for you to ignore her or trivialize her, and she gave you an aim. You’ve always been moral, but she gave your life purpose and importance that you never had growing up. No one ever treated you like your life meant something, and she filled that need in you.” Angus’ gaze dropped to the floor. Damn Ember and her bloody insight.

“So, what is it that I bring to her?”

“Strength. Security. Stability. All the best ‘s’ words.” Truman smirked and so did Angus. “From what you’ve told us, Brit had a shit childhood. The problem is she built this wall to protect herself, and well, she built it damn good. But you were the key to knocking it down. Stubborn and incessant, you didn’t let her push you away, and she eventually gave in. She needed someone with your strength and stamina who wouldn’t give up on her and who wouldn’t tolerate her bullshit.”

Well they had most definitely deconstructed Brit to a T. And perhaps him as well.

When Brit walked through his door moments later, he relaxed. He watched her coolly. His insides were fluttering and pulsing with warmth that couldn’t possibly come from himself, but he gave nothing away as she crossed the room to his place still at the living room window. Truman was smirking at him, shaking his head subtly. Angus was incapable of hiding his internal response to Brit from Truman anymore than she could hide her reaction to him. And Truman was enjoying this fact at his expense. Truman excused himself with one final smirk, and he was finally alone with her.

After he’d finished making love to her in the elevator earlier in the day, they didn’t even bother going upstairs. She’d needed to be back at the precinct, and he enjoyed the blush of her cheeks the entire ride back. His hand stayed on her thigh as he drove, and he inhaled the delicious scent of their mixture that he knew would stay with her until she washed it away.

And as she approached him now, he leaned to her. “Well, don’t you smell delectable?” She blushed furiously as he pecked her on the cheek.