Impending Reprisals (17 page)

Chapter 23

Anya found a staircase she had never used before and descended to the main floor. Nothing looked familiar as she turned around, then went with her gut instinct as to which direction to go. The great hall took up a large portion of the living space, so it was inevitable she would stumble upon it soon. And she knew from simply being in the room itself, there were several separate entrances into it.

As she turned down a long hall, she saw a fire-lit entryway at the far end. Deciding it was worth the time to investigate, she strode forward only to have her attention veered away a moment later. Passing two elaborate glass doors, she slowed to a stop, brushing her fingers over the stained glass design. Curious now, she gripped the handles and pulled the doors open.

Directly in front of her was a small patio with an enclosed stone stairway leading up from the left side. She eased out into the night and climbed the stairs, coming out into a narrow walkway between a free-standing wall and the stone side of the castle. A short distance later, the walkway ended, but an arched doorway opened up to the side.

The warm night breeze caught her as she stepped through, throwing her hair back and ruffling her robe around her. Eyes widened, she gazed around at the large patio, dotted with stone benches, and stepped up the waist-high wall hugging the open area. All she could see when she looked down was a magnificent garden, glowing in soft, muted colors in the moonlight. She smiled at the sight and her chest tightened from the beauty of it. She could stand here forever.

After her eyes adjusted to the night and the light of the moon, she noticed a slight flickering at the edge of the garden. Bracing herself and leaning forward, she arched her neck to see where it could be coming from, and saw it was a set of clear-glass doors. The wavering light shining through them could only be attributed to a fire, and from her angle, she could see the corner of a rug she was sure she had seen in the great hall.

Another smile flashed across her face as she spun and raced across the walkway and down the stairs, not even bothering to close the patio doors before heading down the hall once again, eager to find Merivic. Nearly at the doorway, Anya heard a playful laughter ring out, followed by a low grunt and deep moan. She stopped short as her hand flew to her mouth to muffle her giggle. Apparently, she would not find Merivic in there. But someone was sure to be having a good time.

She turned to retreat when she heard another, though more pleasurable, laugh. Embarrassed, but unable to resist sneaking a quick look, she bit her lip and slithered against the wall to the curtain hanging around the entryway. Half hidden in the material, she held her breath, and peeked around the corner.

Even though she was looking at her back, she recognized Zabela almost at once, sitting on someone’s lap with her hips pumping furiously. Anya gasped in innocent shock and snapped back, nervous they may have seen or heard her, but the continuing sounds they made told her they were unaware of her presence.

It surprised her, this public display. Why would Kael take her where anyone could walk in on them? Her belly tightened and her heart picked up the pace as she played through the vision in her head. Despite Kael being one of the participants in the erotic tryst, she could not help but feel a little aroused, especially considering the reason she was seeking out Merivic.

Daring to have one more look before leaving, she eased around the corner again just as Zabela hooked her hands around his neck and arched back. Anya’s breath caught as she jerked away a step, seeing Merivic’s face clearly before he took the servant’s breast in his mouth. Zabela’s deep, husky laugh filled the hall as his lips moved over her, ringing through the air and echoing in Anya’s head. Staggering back in stunned shock, she finally found the will to move and spun around, running directly into Kael as he came up behind her. He grabbed Anya’s arms to steady her as Zabela’s cry of triumph and ecstasy taunted her, causing the sting of tears the stab at her eyes.

Jerking away from Kael’s grasp, Anya dodged around Gerhard and raced down the corridor, leaving the two men to exchange a confused glance.

“Well, I suppose we found her,” Gerhard commented before peering into the great hall. “Oh. And I suppose she found
him
.”

Kael looked over his shoulder. “Damn it. Stay here. Wait until Lord Merivic is…in a less compromising position, and inform him of what happened.”

They both glanced down the hall, a sharp crack sounding through the air as Anya whipped open the stain-glass doors they had just secured. A sharper noise followed as shards of glass slipped from the panes and shattered to the floor, the door swinging wildly on its hinges.

Kael’s entire body mourned for her, the ache in his chest tightening with every muscle all the way to his stomach. “I will see to Lady Anya.”

*****

Every doubt Anya had stashed away came flooding to the surface as she ran from both the man and the love she thought they had shared. What an illusion he had created for her—she was made to think what they had physically experienced was something special, something to be cherished. She forgot that although it was new and special to her, it was not to Merivic, and therefore would not mean as much. The intimacy of it was gone. The meaning of it was gone. How could she have been so stupid? 

Her breathing sobbed as she braced herself against the wall and stared unseeing at the garden below, tears blurring her vision. A hurricane of thoughts collided together, spearing through her judgments and assumptions. She would have to rethink everything—every thought, every emotion, every decision, and every ramification. What had gone wrong in her life? How did she end up here? And what could she do about it now?

Kael could not have come upon her at a worse time. Or a more opportune time—depending upon one’s perspective.

“Anya?”

Her back straightened as she scrubbed at the tears with the back of her hand, but she did not turn. “I would like to be alone right now.”

“I cannot give you that.” He eased next to her, and everything about the way he moved spoke of gentleness and comfort.

They stood in silence, side-by-side, staring out at the garden. Every now and again, Anya’s breathing caught, then released in a jagged sigh. And every time it did, Kael glanced down at her with deep concern.

“You are saddened because he was with another. Surely he will see the error of his ways.”

“I do not care about that. He can take whatever woman he wishes to, without blame and with a clear conscious.” Her voice was full of resentment, but also of resignation, and the soft edge to her words caught him off guard.

“Then why do you weep?”

“I let compassion and loyalty dictate whom I would love, rather than my heart.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I allowed myself to succumb to Merivic when truly I have always loved another.”

Kael was quiet a moment as his heart did a soft flip, and then he responded impulsively rather than logically. “Perhaps there is still time.”

“What if he does not want me?”

His lips parted in disbelief. How could he not? And how could she truly believe he would deny her? He felt as if everything he had done since they had been reunited screamed of love and longing.

Anya moved to dismiss herself, apparently drawing her own conclusions from his silence for she never looked upon his face for confirmation.

Instinct had Kael grabbing her arm, and she turned to him. “Do not doubt, he wants you.”  

“Anya!”

When Kael heard Merivic’s panicked voice calling out, his sense of honor and duty reared up within him. He knew when he accepted his station, he would have to be near her again. And he began to draw strength from his prior convictions—he could not betray his loyalty to Merivic or his position as weapons master. “Or perhaps not.”

Bowing his head slightly, Kael backed away, his hard, piercing eyes locked on hers. Merivic rushed into her line of sight and grabbed her by the shoulders, and when he drew her to the side, Kael was already gone.

“Anya.” Merivic’s hazel eyes were dazed but wild as they roamed over her face.

Fury ignited as she shook off his hands. “Do not touch me!”

The venom in Anya’s tone shocked him, even given the situation. There was a fire in her he had not known to exist and he was suddenly even more desperate to douse it. With that thought in mind, a conflicting, and yet intriguing, thought joined it—as surprised as he was by her rage, he found he was aroused by it as well. There was a tiger within this kitten.

As he stared into her pained eyes, he was ashamed by the intruding thought and he promptly shoved it aside. “Please, Anya. You must forgive me.” He stepped closer and she matched it in retreat.

“Perhaps we are not meant to be after all.” She tried to step around him.

His chest tightened. “We are! You know we are!” He grabbed her arm, spun her toward him, and rambled as the panic seized. “I do not even know what happened.” He swallowed hard, trying to remember through the fog in his head. “Zabela fetched my drink, I was thinking of you, then her head was in my lap…”

Merivic stared over her head, unfocused as his brow creased and his eyes narrowed. “We… I… It was like I had no control. She was you and then…”

Anya felt her anger lessen as she studied him. Something was off. He was distressed, that was obvious, but there was more to it than that. She felt a quick wave of guilt for denying him, and began to think none of this would have happened if she had not. But her indignation immediately flared—this was not her fault, she was not to blame.

Oblivious of Anya for a moment, Merivic concentrated, pushing at the terror long enough to try and figure out had what happened. He jolted as he came to a realization—Malik. He squeezed his eyes closed to control his temper, then slowly opened them. “I have no excuse. Please, I will do anything to regain your trust. Anything. Simply name it.”

“Merivic...” Anya sighed as she twisted out of his grasp, and turned her back on him. “I do not know right now.”

He gritted his teeth. “I understand.” Putting his hands lightly on her shoulders, he murmured, “But will you stay? And give yourself a chance to forgive me?”

Anya’s stomach clutched. Could she leave, when all she ever wanted was there? Even though—if she was to be completely honest with herself—she was not sure
who
that was at the moment. She nodded her agreement, and Merivic squeezed her shoulders as he leaned down.

“Thank you, Anya,” he whispered in her ear. She flinched as his lips brushed against her cheek, and he immediately released her. “I will give you your space. That was foolish of me. I apologize.”

Turning, she glanced at his ashamed expression, and then away, determined not to feel guilty for
his
indiscretion—it was ridiculous for her to do so.

“I will see you to your quarters.” He bowed his head and gestured toward the stairs.

She stared at his sullen posture and sighed in exasperation. Even if she did decide to forgive him, would he ever forgive himself? Would, or could, anything ever be the same between them? And what of Kael? What had he truly divulged to her? He had said he wanted her, but then not.

She sulked toward the steps, lost in the maze of unanswered questions knowing she would not find any answers that night, or possibly, ever. And Merivic sulked with her, an arm’s length away, careful not to touch her as he led her to her room.

*****

Merivic’s voice was tight, but controlled. However, anyone that knew him as Malik did, knew it was the calm edge in his tone that was to be feared the most. He was on the verge of losing it.

“If you have ruined this for me, rest assured I
will
have your head on a platter.”

“Perhaps I could—”

“You have done enough. I need to think about how I can fix this, to undo the damage
you
have caused.” Merivic paced the confined room, hands clasped behind his back.

“I will tell her what I did. Surely she would not blame you if—”

“You cannot!” he suddenly snarled, stalking up to Malik. “What if she should put that magic together with her and I? I cannot risk it!” He spun away, sweeping his arm across the table as he let out a guttural roar, throwing vials, pouches and parchment into a pile on the floor and ignoring the small explosions it set off at his feet. “You nearly destroyed everything!” Merivic leaned against the table, his fisted hands supporting him as he took several deep breaths. Malik recoiled a step when the lord turned back to him, his hazel eyes steady and his voice deadly smooth once again. “What if she decides it must be magic binding us?”

“No magic was used! It was her choice.” Malik tried standing up to his flat glare, but instinct had him cowering inside.

“Yes, I know that!” he snapped, breathing deeply again before continuing. “But I cannot risk her thinking otherwise, especially after tonight. Who knows what she would doubt now?” He stared at Malik, and something in his stance alerted him. “Malik.”

He did not respond, deciding it was simply safer to wait and hear what the lord had to say.

“Is there anything else I should know about?”

Malik’s mind raced, thinking about how he and Zabela had been using a similar potion on Kaelestis, then pondering as to what kind of punishment such a confession would earn. The decision to lie was an easy one. “No, there is nothing else.”