Impending Reprisals (21 page)

Chapter 27

Anya was just finishing her breakfast when Merivic swept into the great hall holding a vase overflowing with blossoms, their incandescent petals glowing vibrantly. Holding her breath, she tracked him with her eyes as he strode toward her, then rose to meet him at the far end of the table.

“You are back from your journey so soon?” She masked the shock under a tone of surprise. Not hard to do since she certainly was surprised as well.

“I arrived home late last night.”

Her stomach lurched.

Setting the arrangement down, he flashed a sparkling smile. “You are beautiful, Anya. Such a light you have about you today.” He ran his fingers through the ends of her hair, curled over her shoulder. “I must say, I did not realize how much I missed you until now.”

Anya resisted pulling away, guilt holding her body steady. How could she have not thought of this? Of how she would end her engagement with Merivic? What is she supposed to say? How should she act?

She turned her attention to the flowers as her mind whirled with words she could speak, declarations she could make, but nothing coherent came forth. And then her head tipped to the side, her lips curved, and her thoughts ceased.

Anya could tell it was not Merivic who chose the flowers—they were gorgeous, but simplistic, not elaborate. It was exactly the type Kael had given her in the past, back in Liberwood when life was easier and made more sense.

She saw Merivic tense, but then relax as she ran her fingers over the petals. “You seem anxious.”

“I was afraid you would not approve. I was not sure they would be to your liking.”

“Of course they are.” She shot forward and gave him a rushed, awkward kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.”

He claimed her hand as she pulled back and brought it to his mouth. “I must confess, Anya. I did not pick them out. Weapons Master Kaelestis was kind enough to fetch them for me. It seems he knows your taste better than I do.” He kissed her hand again, and smiled once more. “But I will learn.”

“Well, that was nice of him,” she admitted, casually, hoping her façade effectively covered the nerves building under her skin.

“Indeed. He is on the balcony if you wish to thank him as well. I am afraid I have business to attend to today, but I wonder if you would be so kind as to join me for a picnic tomorrow.”

“Certainly.”

“I will see that it is arranged.” He wrapped his arms around her tense frame and kissed the top of her head. “Please allow me this embrace, my love. I want to close the distance between us, make right what I have done wrong, and prove to you that I am the man you deserve. Let me assure you, Anya, it will be done, no matter what lengths I need to travel to get there, it will be done.”

*****

Anya hurried to join Kael on the balcony, her mind scattered as to what they should tell Merivic, how she should let him down. It would be one of the hardest things she had ever done in her life, despite the tension between them, but she knew it was a necessary step for a future with Kael.

Nevertheless, no matter what vexed her at this point, she could not contain the giddiness she felt, knowing she was about to see him again. But when she walked through the arched doorway, she paused and her breath stuttered. He stood to the side of her, staring out at the distance with a reserved expression. What she feared most she could see clearly in his eyes—rejection.

When Kael looked up he did not see the smile that had been there, only the concern and bafflement she was donning now. He wanted to alleviate what he sensed was regret, and knew he must do what was right—by Merivic, by him, and by her. 

Already defensive, and put off by the resolve Anya saw formulating by the set of his jaw, she stalked up to Kael. She did not say a word as she stared up into his deep, blue eyes, finally forcing him to avert his gaze.

“I was weak. Last night should not have happened,” he said.

“You cannot possibly mean that.” Although the words felt like they blasted out of her, they sounded meek and unsure.

“I do. I apologize for any regrets you felt afterwards. I should have never put you in that position.”

Anya’s face flushed as she jabbed her finger in Kael’s chest. “Did you forget that I was the one who came to your room? That I was the one who kissed you? That I was the one who seduced?”

His brow furrowed. “I remember clearly, it does not mean I should have acted on it.”

She gave his chest a shove. “So today you do not love me. Again. Well, that is convenient. And what about tomorrow night, or in a fortnight. Will you love me then? Is that when it would suit you best?!”

“What do you care how I feel? All that matters to you is regret for your actions. So I relieve you from any obligations you may feel. Go. Be with your intended and leave me to my own devices.”

“You bastard! What twisted little prank are you playing at? Do you think you can enter my world, turn it upside down, and then dump me to the side unscathed? I love you, Kael and you are the man I wish to be with. Or so I thought until a few moments ago.”

“What do you know of love, Anya? Truly, what do you know of it?!”

“I have learned much about it from you, that is for certain. Although it is the painful side of it that I have experienced most. Beginning with the day you left me behind over two years ago. And, now, here you are doing it again!”

“You say you love me.” He studied her close. “But your action spoke otherwise. They still do.” 

“And what am I to decipher out of that. Just once, Kael, speak your mind and your heart. Enough of your hints and clues as to how you truly feel.”

“All right. I will just say it then. When I left you it was while knowing that Merivic could give you a far better life than I ever could. But regardless of that, I continued to hope you would turn him down and seek me out instead.”

Anya stepped back in surprise. “And how could I have known that? You never even wrote me.”

“How could I? Besides, I thought you knew my heart, the depth of my love. I was naïve to think it would be enough. And now it is too late.”

“What do you mean
too late
?”

“You have made your choice when you accepted Lord Merivic’s proposal.”

“When you disappeared, my choices became very limited.”

“It was your decision alone to choose to marry him or not.”

“As it was your decision to leave me. Do you think we would be in this position if you had stayed? Did you think my love for you was so weak as to leave you for another?” Her voice caught as she held back a sob, swallowing hard to keep it contained. “It is you who lost faith in us. I had to make my decision based off the choices
you
left me.”

“I would have come back had you not accepted his proposal.”

“And I would not have accepted his proposal if I had known you would come back.”

Kael’s head swam with confliction, but he held firm to his honor. “It does not matter now. What is done is done. Lord Merivic loves you, and you belong to him.”

“And what was last night? I believe I made another choice then, as well. Does that go unnoticed now? Forgotten about? Brushed aside?!”

His gaze hardened against the tears in her eyes. “As I said, it does not matter.”

Who is this man? Anya thought wildly, desperate for some answers. A memory flashed through her head of their conversation concerning Zabela—the same detached expression, the same stone-cold stare as he admitted the servant was a simple distraction.

“I suppose I was just another distraction to you,” she spat out.

Kael knew where her thoughts came from, and opened his mouth to deny it, but stopped before uttering a word. Let her think that, he decided. Let her be angry rather than hurt. He worked up a sneer for her benefit. “As well you were. And an enjoyable one at that. But it is done.”

Speechless, Anya backed away a step, and then another as the tears welled over. Spinning on her heel, she was barely able to contain herself as she ran for the stairs, one hand clutching her stomach and the other clamping over her mouth as the taste of bile rose to her throat.

Kael watched her retreat, allowing the sharp stab of regret to pierce him before shoving it ruthlessly to the side.

It is for the best, he told himself. It is for the best.

*****

“Ah, there. It is done. Very nice work, My Lord.” Malik’s grin was wickedly smug.

“Thank you, Malik.” Merivic looked away from the scrying bowl as he considered the scene. “Though I must say, I am surprised it worked at all.”

“Sire?”

“Did you not hear what they said? They love each other. Or did.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I did not realize their tie was so close.” Of course, it was for the best he had not discovered this disturbing fact until now, when he was calmer, more calculated in his reactions. Otherwise, they would certainly be dead already.

“For all the good it did them. Anything that can be broken so easily could not be something so strong.” Although, Malik fully well knew how strong their love was, due to the effects on his potion, he did not want the lord to be quite so aware. They had preparations to focus on.

“I suppose you are right.” Merivic glanced into the bowl again and watched Kael’s image fade. “I am pleased by Kaelestis’ allegiance, though it will not spare his life at this point.”

“Certainly not.”

Merivic tapped his chin with a finger. “Still, to be safe, I will continue manipulating their emotions to keep everything on schedule.” He chuckled once, humorlessly. “It might even prove to be enjoyable.”

Chapter 28

Gerhard took over Kael’s sentry duties once again, not that there was much to guard against. Anya had been bedridden for the past three days due to a sickness, though he believed it to be a guise. The timing of it was too peculiar in that she suddenly took ill after her confrontation with Kael.

Yes, Kael had relayed what had been said, and Gerhard felt remorse for his good friend, and for the woman he loved. It was a shame the way things had turned out for them, and a pity nothing could be done to rectify it—set right what had gone so wrong.

Gerhard hovered outside her quarters as Lenna went in to tend to her needs. He briefly heard the stuttered breathing of someone who had been crying before the heavy door swung shut, and his chest ached with sympathy. How long would she grieve? How long
could
she without breaking?

He vowed to himself he would watch Anya closely until either she found her strength, or Kael resumed his position as her sentinel once more. After all, the weapons master could not very well avoid his duties forever, if for no other reason than it would draw the attention of the lord.

Although Gerhard did not share the close relationship with Lord Merivic that Kael did, he was certain he knew the lord well enough to know he was not a man to trifle with. Something about him, something deep, had always put him off. Although he would give his life to protect the kingdom, it was more out of honor rather than any charismatic effect the lord may have. And he knew, always knew, that if he ever misstepped around Lord Merivic, or displeased him in some grand way, he would constantly be watching his back for the rest of his life.

It was because of this knowledge and certainty that he gave Kael the advice he had. End it with Anya or take her far away. There were no other safe choices to be made, although neither one of the options presented was an easy route to take . They simply were the only ones left to the forbidden lovers.

The door eased open again and Gerhard snuck a peek inside before Lenna closed it. His chest tightened when he saw Anya—pale and waxy skin, red and puffy eyes, tangled and matted hair. She looked so small and fragile wrapped amongst the pile of blankets.

Maybe she truly was sick.

“The poor dear.” Lenna sighed as she shook her head. “Her pain is so great she cannot help but cry. I do not know what to do for her.”

“What illness is it?”

“I am not sure. That is what vexes me so.” She glanced at the closed door. “I suppose time will tell. She cries less today than she did yesterday, so I can only draw hope from that.”

Gerhard nodded. “Will you be staying near? I wish to report this to Lord Merivic and Weapons Master Kaelestis. I know they are both concerned.”

“I wish to fetch fresh linens and then will return. Would you like me to bring back another sentry to relieve you?”

“Yes. Thank you, Lenna. I will await your return.”

*****

“What causes her illness?” Merivic demanded of Malik.

“I cannot be certain.” He leaned closer to the scrying pond. “It is murky.”

“Does she cry for him?” His tone was edged with malevolence.

“Somehow I think not.”

“Why?”

“Because she does feel actual pain. I can see that clearly, but nothing else.”

Merivic’s grip on the table lessened as he allowed himself a deep breath. “Will she get better?”

“That she will. The future shows her well in just a few days time. Withdrawn, but healthy.”

“Withdrawn,” he muttered as he pushed away to pace. “I will need to work on that.”

Malik snorted in a rare show of derision toward his master. In any other frame of mind, he would have contained himself, but lately—weary and beaten down by days without sleep—he had no will left to mask his responses.

Merivic, holding back his instincts, took the disrespectfulness in stride. He had grown accustomed to the clerics moods. “You do not believe I can draw her back to me? Have you forgotten that I maneuvered her to choose me herself, despite her people’s tradition of simply going along with their father’s wishes?” He snatched a bottle off the table on his last pass and began twirling it in his hand.

“True. But now you must find a way to keep her. How do you make her
continue
to choose you when, apparently, she wants—perhaps even loves—another?”

“Evidently, she loved him back then as well, and yet she accepted my proposal. It has become more complicated, yes, but not impossible. The solution is there, it has simply not yet come to me.”

Malik drummed his fingertips together. “Perhaps we need another mock rescue to endear the girl to you.”

He spun around, his eyes molten red. “Oh, like the last one?! It was nearly a disaster! They could have…” His face flushed as he clenched his fist. The bottle burst in his hand, but the lord did not flinch. He looked down at the oozing slash in his palm, and watched as the blood dissipated and the wound closed. Flexing his fist, he looked at Malik with a renewed calmness. “That man nearly took her in the alleyway. Surely, I would not have swept her off her feet if he had his way with her first. Besides,”—he pinched the bridge of his nose—“it would be far too obvious to do so now. No, I will need to continue to toy with her emotions.”

Malik studied the lord intensely while he experienced the spectrum of emotions. “Do you still
feel
for her?”

Merivic turned and stared at him, not threateningly, just sternly.

“Forgive me, My Lord, but I am curious for you have never reacted this way before. Do you still love her? Despite what she has done, despite all the pain and torment you hope to bring down upon her… Through it all, you still love her?”

“She is mine, Malik. She will always be mine. After the promising ceremony, let her fully experience and come to realize the power I hold over her. Let her know that choosing me was her destiny, her fate. We were meant to be together, and she is meant to be the conduit to my salvation. Let her weep, let her beg, let her grovel for my forgiveness, and then—only then—might she have the life I had once promised her. A life I had fully intended to selflessly give her until her…”—his jaw clenched— “indiscretion with Kaelestis. I want her to feel pain, Malik. Pain like she has caused me. But I do not think I can kill her.” He glanced at Malik. “She is mine. She is for me.”

Malik’s face twisted in disgust.

How could he forgive her after giving herself to another? Love, he thought, answering himself. Although demented, misguided and possessive, it is clearly love—though as far removed as one can get from the purity of it. Who knew evil could love?

Another wave of contempt washed over him, and he could not hold his tongue. “I suppose we can be thankful the blessing does not require her to be a virgin.”

Merivic’s responding glare was all Malik needed to know he went too far. He held up his hands. “Very well, I will say no more.”