Imperfectly Bad (4 page)

“What-the-fuck-ever.”

Tyler shook his head and took Liz’s hand, dragging her behind him as they vanished into the sea of people. Ever since he and Liz had gotten back together, he never made it through a house party.

I was wrong when I said Tyler was whipped.

Boy was
hella
pussy whipped.

Some random dude, I hadn’t paid attention when he told me his name, was laughing. “No fuckin’ way, dude,” he said in between breaths.

“Yes, fuckin’ way,” I quipped back as I hopped up onto the coffee table. Tucking my shirt into my pants, I made some last minute preparations. I’d done this a million times and it never got old. I was giddy with excitement.

Seeing my expression he stopped laughing, knowing that I was serious, and a look of panic spread across his face.

“You’re going to kill yourself,” he argued.

“Nah.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Worst thing, I might break my neck. And that wouldn’t be so bad because maybe then I’d have some hot candy striper giving me sponge baths.”

Draining the rest of the beer in my red Solo Cup, I crushed it with my hand and tossed it to the floor.

“Now,” I called out to the room, “which one of you lovely ladies hasn’t caught my herpes, yet?”

Yes, that line had actually worked for me in the past. Don’t judge me. Judge the bitches that fell for it.

Despite the noise of the party, I heard a girl giggling from behind me and turned toward her. I did a quick once over. She was hot, and I knew I’d seen her around before. What was her name? Amy? Ana? Alexis? I couldn’t remember, but it didn’t really matter anyway. There was no question she would be my latest conquest.

As if sensing my gaze she lifted her eyes to meet mine and I smiled and winked at her before launching myself backwards from the table. Without any problem, I flipped over and landed on my feet, right in front of her. If I were being honest, I was damn lucky I hadn’t kicked her in the head. I was
that
close.

“You’re awesome,” she cooed, batting her eyelashes.

Oh yeah, this was going to be easy.

With the confidence that can only come with knowing you’re onto a sure thing, I slid my arm around her waist and pulled her into me.

“I know, but they actually just call me Rob.”

Warm brown eyes looked up at me with puppy dog adoration. Why, I’m not really sure. You’d think girls would know by now what type of guy I was. But no, they just kept coming back for more. So many girls nowadays have daddy issues, and I certainly wasn’t above taking full advantage of them.

“What’s your name?” I finally asked.

“I’m Amber.”

Aha, I was close!

“So, Amber, what do you say you and I go be awesome,
together,
in my bedroom?”

The red flush that colored her cheeks had me questioning how red her ass would get if I spanked her. Despite what they might say, I’d yet to meet a woman who didn’t purr like a kitten at the hands of my… well, hands. Every second fucker these days thought he was some kind of dominant, just because he could crack an ass.

But me…

I’d been doing that shit for years—well before it became popular. It was just the way I dealt with shit. Sex—no,
fucking
—in all of its adaptations, was how I worked through things. My very own version of therapy. There were times, as few and far between as they may be, when I did question my morals. But then I’d remember why I did it, and regularly scheduled programming returned.

No more feelings, just sex.

“Yeah.” She leaned in to whisper in my ear. “Just let me just go tell my friends they’ll have to go home without me.”

She turned to go, but I pulled her back to me. “You can always invite them too? I’m an equal opportunity lover.”

She slapped my chest playfully. “You’re so bad,” she cooed before slipping her hand into mine and pulling us through the crowd in search of her friends. Although I made no attempts to pull my hand loose, I cringed at the intimate touch. Handholding wasn’t something I liked to do. Same as kissing.

Stop being such a pussy, Rob.

“Tell me something I don’t know, sweetheart.”

By midweek, I was in an apartment in the midst of one of the hottest moments of my life, and I wasn’t entirely sure how I’d gotten there.

Yes, I was that drunk.

Not that it mattered because I had two hot girls pawing over me. One was blonde, the other a brunette. Both of them equally hot, with bodies to match.

Perched on the couch, my head was spinning, clouded by the amount of liquor that I had managed to drink in the last twenty-four hours. Once I was on one of my famous Robbie Boy benders, nothing could stop me.

Rolling the glass tumbler between my fingers, I felt the cool beads of condensation on my skin before lifting it to my lips. The scotch coated my lips as I watched the two girls kiss in front of me. Completely numb to the world around me, I just sat and stared. Two hotties tonguing each other in front of me should have been more exciting than it was.

But I’d done this before. A threesome was nothing out of the ordinary for me. Sure I didn’t do them every day, and they were more of a rarity than my normal escapades but I still felt unmoved. Blonde girl’s eyes opened and she cast a sultry stare in my direction as she dipped a hand into the brunette’s pants, and she threw her head back in ecstasy. Leaning back in my chair while the blonde used her talented fingers on her friend I finally felt my dick jump in my pants.

Thank God! I was starting to worry about myself.

It had been a two horse race for long enough and, setting my drink on the coffee table, I stood to join them. One of the benefits of experience was knowing when to inject yourself into proceedings, so I slid behind the brunette and pressed my lips to her already sweat-laden neck. Her body writhed against the blonde’s fingers while I snaked a hand under her shirt and grabbed her breast. Her back arched and she moaned softly when the blonde added her mouth, kissing her again. Such was my focus on the scene in front of me that I jumped when I felt a hand reach down my pants, deft fingers wrapping themselves around my dick. As the brunette began long, slow strokes up and down my cock, the blonde lifted her gaze and gave me a devilish grin.

“Fuck,” I hissed, slamming my mouth against her neck and pushing them both to the couch. Knowing they were both so willing to please me had me losing the last of my control. Two pairs of hungry eyes watched my every move as I stripped off my clothes, demanding they do the same. They giggled and didn’t hesitate to obey.

Barely concealed excitement built deep within me as I watched the two girls lie down on the couch together. Just watching the blonde grind against the brunette while they kissed and I was about to explode. Unable to wait any longer, I dug my fingers into the flesh of Blondie’s hips, pulling her back against my cock and taking her roughly from behind. The direct approach was always the best one, and my animalistic actions had her moaning while continuing to work on the brunette with her tongue.

We spent the next hour in various positions. Part of me wishes I could have bored you with all the gory details, but I honestly couldn’t even remember them all myself. There would be moments of blackness and then I’d regain consciousness and go about my business. It was fun and hot, but once it ended the awkwardness crept in and I couldn’t get my pants on quick enough.

“Where’s the fire?” asked the brunette as she lay naked on the couch, a lit cigarette between her full lips.

“There is none, that’s the problem.”

On long, graceful legs that had looked fuckin’ awesome wrapped around my waist, the blonde stood up, her gorgeous tits bouncing with every move. She draped her arms around my neck, pulling me close and going in for a kiss but I turned my face in just the nick of time and her lips landed on my cheek instead.

“My fire’s been put out, and that’s my cue to leave,” I added.

I moved away from her and grabbed my shirt, throwing it over my head without a second thought.

“That’s too bad,” said the blonde, twirling a lock of her hair between her fingers and turning back to join the brunette on the couch. “I guess we’ll have to go round two without you.” In a move that was almost as brazen as one I might have pulled myself she licked the brunette’s neck and began running her hands over her body.

Groaning, I rolled my eyes. Sure, these girls had been fun, but they were a bit much. “Overbearing” and “desperate” were two adjectives that came to mind.

“I don’t do repeats,” I said as I grabbed my suit jacket from a chair. The rejection must have stung somewhat because I heard one of them call me a dick just before I left but I didn’t give a shit.

I have one, therefore I am one.

Unsure of who had just used whom, my skin crawled and I felt dirty as fuck as my feet hit the sidewalk. I had a feeling that, for once, I’d been the pawn, but with the booze still strong in my blood I really couldn’t find the strength to muster any sort of emotional response. I was dead to feelings, and I thanked God for it everyday.

Sucking in fresh air, I hopped that it would sober me a bit. Only it didn’t. I scrubbed my face with my hand before lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag.

Pulling out my cell phone and with a few taps of my finger, brought up the internet and did a quick search, the light illuminating my face.

No hits… again.

I didn’t know why I still bothered. It was obvious that it was a lost cause.

Annoyed at myself for caving yet again, I brought up my contacts list and scrolled through until I landed on Emma’s number and sighed. I missed her. With her having Felix, and being knocked up again, I didn’t get to spend as much time with her as I’d like. I shot her a text arranging for us to meet up for coffee sometime soon. She had been the only one to really keep my nose to the grindstone the last few years, and the more distanced we became, the further I fell into the abyss of booze and loose women.

“But seriously, I just don’t understand it.”

I set my beer on the coffee table and took the seat across from Shane and Emma, who were perched on the appropriately named love seat. Tyler sat next to me, a bottle of beer perched on his knee.

“Understand what exactly, Rob?” Emma asked, even though she was more preoccupied with picking at the label of her water bottle.

This was going nowhere fast. Time to change the subject, and Emma’s picking was the perfect distraction.

“Jesus, Shane,” I teased. “Look at her rip that label off! Lay the girl already, would ya?!”

Shane glared at me, shaking his head. “She’s far from sexually frustrated, Rob. Trust me.”

We all looked to Emma, who’d finally stopped playing with the label and lifted her head to look at us. “What?” she asked, feigning ignorance, but she knew damn well what I was referring to—the age-old adage of the hidden meaning behind picking at labels. I waggled my eyebrow at her and she smiled, knowing her ruse was up.

“Whatever. I’m super hormonal! And I can’t keep my hands to myself.” Before I could make another comment, she pointed a finger in my direction, stopping me in my tracks. “Just keep your mouth shut, Rob, or I will cut you.”

Throwing my hands up in surrender, my body shook with laughter. “Easy, Flipper,” Tyler said in between chuckles. “And quit changing the subject, Rob! We were talking about you, and your fear of commitment.”