Impossible (11 page)

His words felt so unexpectedly good that I could have gotten lost in them. But he didn’t give me the chance. Moving on quickly he pressed one more kiss to my lips, stepped back, and muttered, “Get dressed, Banty. I think it’s time we went home and spent some time with CJ and Nan.”

Surprisingly, I thought that sounded fantastic. Not only did I think it was time to settle for a little while, experience some stability for the first time in years, I was also looking forward to spending time with CJ and Nan.

The change in me apparently already taking over, I thought it was time to delve into some more personal information about them. Not about myself, mind you, but this was still a step in the right direction.

“Does Nan live with y’all? I mean with you gone so much, I feel like that would make sense.”

Excitement lit Coleman’s eyes. I was pretty sure he was excited we were talking now, but he didn’t dare mention it for fear of breaking whatever spell had taken over my body.

He answered, “Yeah, the farm has always been a family place. It’s hers as much as it’s mine. But we have a mother/daughter set up goin’ in the house so that we each have our space.”

That was cool, but I couldn’t figure out much to say about it, so I just nodded my head.

Shaking his head slightly, he smiled at me before whispering, “Get dressed, baby. I was a good boy, but there’s only so much a man can take. You have one hell of a smokin’ body.” His eyes turned a touch darker, lighting with a little bit of mischief, before he said, “They weren’t kidding when they said good things come in small packages.”

He turned to go get dressed himself, but stopped, turned back, and finished, “Though...not everything about your package is small.”

I rolled my eyes and aimed a scowl at him, but inside I couldn’t help but smile. He wasted no time going back to the guy I had been getting to know after we had shared such a heavy moment. In fact, I was pretty sure he was doing it on purpose, taking the pressure off and letting me know I could share my reasons for the nightmares (and everything else) in my own time.

Not done teasing, he kept going, “I mean I had gotten a peak at your tits the day we rode, but up close and combined with your ass...”

He let it hang, and even if he hadn’t, I was done. “Get dressed,
Cade
.”

At my use of his last name, he burst out laughing, jogged back over to me, gave me a quick kiss, and then finally went about gathering his clothes to get dressed.

********

We pulled into the long driveway leading to Coleman’s house, the gravel crunching underneath the tires of my Tahoe, and Bo was bounding in our direction to greet us.

Coleman was driving, the result of a short but feisty battle after we had gotten ready that morning.

I told him that it was my car, therefore, I drove. But he told me that that wasn’t true, as he’d driven it before. I rebutted that while that may be true, it was only a one time thing, a result of my sudden illness. He came back by saying that he had just gotten me to the point where I might actually be starting to like him, he really wanted to see my body again, preferably while tangled in pleasurable activities, and he feared we wouldn’t live to see those activities if I drove.

When he got to that point in his argument, I couldn’t help but let him win because he had gotten me on two counts. Number one, the mention of us dying in a car accident was not something that I responded to lightly, and it resulted in me feeling a little bit queasy. And number two, he was freaking right. I drove like a psychopath, and I was actually starting to think I would be disappointed if I missed out on the opportunity to partake in pleasurable activities with Coleman Cade.

Thus, he drove.

As we pulled up in front of the house, I couldn’t hide my astonishment that his truck, the one we left back in Oklahoma, was sitting in the driveway.

He heard my gasp, followed my line of sight, and chuckled before answering my unvoiced question. “I have a buddy who owes me.”

I raised a skeptical eyebrow and questioned, “Is this buddy a-” I paused and lowered my voice into it’s most manly pitch, “buddy,” or a “buddy,” I inflected with a sultry purr.

Coleman erupted into laughter and responded, “The first one. I think. Though, I’m not sure any of my buddies sound exactly like that.”

I started to grab my door handle, but stopped when he started talking again. “Actually, probably a little of the second one too.”

Huh? “How could it be both?” I asked incredulously.

Coleman didn’t answer, he just opened his door and jumped out, so I followed close on his heels. When I got over to him, he was bent down, scratching a panting Bo behind the ears.

“Excuse me, I was talking to you.”

Quicker than I had ever seen anyone move, he reached out and yanked me at the same time that he went down on a knee, my butt ending up on his leg, the rest of me cradled in his arms.

His lips were right above mine, and I could see the laughter lines around his eyes creased with their current use. He also had a smooth jaw, soft and silky, a stark contrast to his beard of this morning, since he had shaved before we left.

“Don’t be jealous, Banty.”

A little growl came out of my throat, closely followed with an almost shrieked, “I am not jealous!”

He just chuckled again, touched his lips to mine, and swung me back out of his lap and up to standing. He grabbed my hand and started walking to the house, the muscles under his t-shirt and jeans flexing with every step.

As we walked, he talked, and I tried really hard to listen. The only problem being that I knew what was under those clothes now, and it made it harder to not become distracted.

Somehow, I managed to focus enough to hear him say, “It was my buddy Tuck and his fiance, Talie.
That’s
how it can be both.”

Oh. Well. I guess that made sense then.

Our booted feet clomped on the steps of the porch, and I took a deep breath to get ready for what was coming. Now that I was letting myself really look at everything, I couldn’t help but notice how much I loved it. The house, the property, Bo...Coleman. I was heading toward becoming attached to the first three, and I was already attached to the last.

Coleman sensed my hesitation, which was quite the feat since I hadn’t displayed any signs of resistance. I was keeping up, I wasn’t dragging my feet, and I was forcing my body to relax. But he knew anyway.

Instead of drawing more attention to it, he just smiled down at me and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. We had our fingers intwined, and just like everything else with him, it felt right. In fact, we had been holding hands for almost the entirety of the drive, and I hadn’t once had the urge to put a stop to it.

He walked right to the door, opened it, and pulled me through behind him. Waiting for me to step clear of the door and out of the way, he shut it behind me and put his hand to the small of my back.

As he guided me through the house, I looked around, noticing most of all that it was filled with pictures. Any feasible surface for holding a frame, held one. He was walking with purpose, therefore, I didn’t have time to notice any details of the pictures, but I knew he would let me look later. Right now, he wanted to see his family.

His voiced bellowed through the surprisingly open space. “CJ!”

The outside of the house suggested that it would be a old style farmhouse inside. Quite frankly, it was the opposite. It was open and airy, filled with tons of light, and every fixture was farmhouse chic but modern. We passed the living room on the way to the kitchen, and I immediately noticed the big chenille sectional sofa. It looked like it would fit twenty people comfortably, yet two people could sit on it and not be swallowed up. I didn’t know how that was possible, or how I knew it was true, but it was and I did.

I could see the kitchen coming into view, which was again, big, open, and updated, and there was a big center island in the middle perfect for gathering a family around to laugh and hang out.

Funnily enough, this was the kind of house I had always dreamed of...the kind of house
Josh
and I had always dreamed of raising a family in. We hadn’t been able to afford it then, but it was the ultimate goal.

The fact that this house matched the one of me and Josh’s dreams could have easily caused a bitter fluid to fill my veins. Instead, it made me feel better. Like somehow, Josh would maybe approve that through everything, I had ended up in a place that would have felt like home even before the accident. The me of the past colliding with the me of now.

The stairs were right next to the kitchen, and it wasn’t long before I could hear the sound of boots running down them at a hurried pace.

CJ.

He obviously didn’t know I was there because he came flying around the corner, laughter and the words, “I guess she finally ditched you,” pouring out of his mouth. When his beautiful teenage eyes hit mine, he skidded to a halt and then quickly swung his gaze back and forth between me and his father, letting it settle on our linked hands between us.

“Holy shit.”

Coleman’s voice was low and conveyed a warning when he murmured, “CJ.”

Knowing Coleman the way I did, I was pretty sure his warning had nothing to do with the cursing. I was pretty sure it was Coleman’s way of making sure CJ didn’t scare me off.

I jumped in, stating, “Close your mouth CJ. Wouldn’t want a fly to get in there,” before throwing a wink in Coleman’s direction.

I wasn’t really used to being a friendly kind of playful, but I found out it was worth it when Coleman yanked me hard into his body, wrapped his arms around me, and whispered in my ear, “I like every version of you, Roni. And baby, this one is no different.”

He was so spot on with my thoughts, that for a minute, I was scared I had spoken out loud. I started to freak out, but I didn’t have time.

Always knowing what I needed, Coleman gave me my emotional space and moved on quickly, looking back at CJ and speaking directly to him. Though, I was still held tight in his arms.

“You have a rodeo tonight, right?” he asked.

CJ’s face, already alight with his smile, got even brighter. “Yeah, dad.”

“Good. We’ll be there,” he said, speaking for both of us.

CJ smirked and his tone was teasing as he murmured, “Right.
Both of you
.”

At the sound of his mocking, I found my feet again and snapped back to myself. My words seemed harsh, but my tone was light. And if the smile on his face was any indication, he knew I was just teasing him back. “Cut the crap, CJ. Yes, both of us. Yes, your father managed to avoid being ditched by me. Yes, we were holding hands, and you can read into that what it implies. However, don’t for a second think I’ve forgotten the setup you orchestrated or my need to get payback for it. When I told you to watch your back before, I didn’t mean for a limited amount of time. Now, make yourself useful and get me a Coke.”

Coleman squeezed me tighter and both father and son burst out laughing.

Just like their eyes, their laughter was distinct, unique, and magnificent.

Chapter 10

Nan and I were standing at the edge of the arena, eagerly waiting for CJ’s turn to ride. Coleman had been mobbed by fans the second we got here, so he quickly chose to go hang out with CJ and the other cowboys instead of us girls.

I couldn’t say that I blamed him.

The afternoon before coming here had been uneventful, but awesome. CJ got me the Coke I demanded, and then we spent an hour or so hanging out in the rocking chairs on the porch, joking and shooting the shit.

Nan was in town, doing whatever it is that she does it town. CJ was absolutely no help in gleaning that information, saying, “How would I know what she’s doing? I’m not a girl.”

I had no idea what being a girl had to do with knowing
what
she was doing, as I pointed out. I told him I only thought being a girl was relevant if she asked him to participate in the activities.

Coleman had jumped in at that point, educating me, “He means that he’s not a girl, therefore he doesn’t give a shit what she’s doing. Only women make it their business to be in everyone else’s business all hours of the day. Men pretty much only pay attention to themselves.”

To this I had muttered, “Well,
that
I’ll agree with.”

The Colemans had once again found me to be the height of hilarity, their echoing laughs filling the surrounding area.

Shortly after that, CJ left, and I found myself in Coleman’s lap, straddling him with my knees in the rocking chair on each side of his hips. I couldn’t even tell you exactly how I ended up there, such was the effect of him being so fast combined with the ease with which he did everything.

Before I had any time to protest, his lips came forward to meet mine, and then protesting was the absolute last course of action I was considering. His hands found their way down to my ass and stayed there as we went at it, making out like a couple of teenagers.

My hands set about exploring, drifting over his hard chest, down across his ripped abs, and around and under his shirt to the firm, warm skin of his back. But his liked where they were and stayed there. Firmly.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was safe to say Coleman liked my ass.

After what had to have been a solid twenty minutes of making out, he pulled back, slid his hands up to span my hips, and growled a tremendously gravelly, “Je-sus, Roni.”

I could feel that the hardness between his legs matched the tone of his words, and I had a feeling it wouldn’t be long before there was some more in depth exploration of each other’s bodies.

A part of me was reeling from the quick progression of our interactions. But another part of me, this one much bigger, knew that the progression wasn’t all that quick. The sexual tension had been there from the absolute beginning. I had just been resistant to it. Coleman had never shied away from touching me, kissing me, doing everything he could to show affection. The difference now was that I was receptive to it, maybe even inviting it. And instead of deflecting his plays, I not only caught them, I deepened them, giving back as good as I got.

Our first kiss had been outstanding, but now that we were both actively participating, it was out of this world. Unlike anything I had ever experienced.
Ever
.

Now, hours later, standing at the fence that surrounded the arena next to his mother, I could still feel the burn of his lips on mine, the smoothness of his tongue caressing my mouth, and the feeling of his hands on my ass with his hardness between my legs.

All of this, combined with watching him light up the arena from freaking fifty yards away, made for a boatload of foreplay.

Lost in the larger than life charisma radiating from Coleman, I kind of forgot that Nan was right next to me.

Until she spoke soft words from less than a foot away.

“It’s good to see the light back in your eyes, dear.”

She was scarily accurate, who knows if she knew how much, but I decided to play it off like it was no big deal. “Huh? I don’t know what you mean.”

A soft, rich laughter bubbled out of her mouth, and it made me turn my head to look at her. “Oh, Sweetie. You know
exactly
what I’m talking about. Trust me, I know.”

She had made a statement like that before, and I was beginning to wonder what she was cryptically referring to. “How do you know?” I murmured, my eyes slowly working their way over her youthful face hoping for some sort of answer visually, in addition to verbally.

She smiled a knowing smile and replied, “Because I used to be you.”

If anything, I found her answer to be even more ambiguous. How did she know that she used to be me? I hadn’t told her about the accident. I hadn’t told
anyone
about the accident. Half the time, I didn’t even admit it to myself. How could she possibly know the kind of loss that sat heavy on my chest?

Nan was smart, like her son, and she could see my mind working. “I’d tell you straight out if I thought you were ready to know, but you’re not. If I tell you now, you’ll just run.”

I fought hard to keep the glare off my face that was so desperately trying to escape, but I must have failed because she smirked before adding, “Okay. I’ll tell you this. Look at my family. Look closely. What do you see? Or maybe, more appropriately, what don’t you see?”

I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. She could see that, it was written all over my face, so she patted my arm and assured me, “Don’t worry, dear. You’ll understand at some point.”

I was confused and a little upset. I wanted to know what she was talking about and why she wouldn’t just come out and tell me.

However, my thoughts and frustration came to an abrupt end as I heard the announcer call out CJ’s name. “...Colemannnn Cadeee, Juniorrr!”

That was all it took for Nan’s words to be forgotten, my attention completely focusing on CJ strapping his hand to the bull’s back.

His concentration was on what he was doing, but even from this far away, I could tell he was listening to his father as Coleman leaned into the chute, talking directly into his ear. He wasn’t nodding, or even acknowledging Coleman in any way. But somehow I could tell, he was listening avidly, soaking up every piece of advice his father had to give.

The butterflies started to flap in my stomach, big but gentle wings making me flutter with a mixture of nervousness and excitement.

I stared at the two men and waited, following Coleman when he backed away just long enough to see his eyes come up and directly meet mine before going back to his son.

My green eyes followed suit, moving back to watch CJ, just as his head gave the almost imperceptible nod that he was ready.

The gate to the chute opened, and his bull immediately reared up, jumping violently forward before spinning twice to the left, his body twisting and contorting with every buck. CJ’s blue chaps were a blur as his legs worked back and forth, keeping in time with the bull, spurring with every jump. As the seconds ticked by, I was wondering if this kid ever got on a bull and didn’t complete an eight second ride.

Obviously, he did get bucked off sometimes, any rider does, I just hadn’t witnessed it yet.

Thank God.

Nan and I were so focused on CJ’s ride that we didn’t see the sneak attack coming.

My eyes lifted from CJ after watching him do his fist-pump, point, and wink, in an effort to find his father. When they found him, I got a freaking eyeful. He had obviously been on his way over to us, moving along the outside of the arena, and he was about ten feet away.

Debbie and two other blonde women had him pinned against the fence, rubbing up against him eagerly, begging for his attention. As I took in their matching hair color, I started to wonder if I was the complete opposite of Coleman’s type.

Nan saw it at the same I did and didn’t hesitate to make her thoughts known. “Slutty broads. Jesus. They have no self-respect.”

As if he could sense me, Coleman’s eyes flashed up to meet mine, the muscle in his jaw hard like granite.

He was looking at me with a lot of intensity, and he was trying to communicate something that I wasn’t quite catching.

Just then his lips moved, his eyes still on mine, and I tried desperately to read them.

My mind tried to piece together the puzzle as it interpreted what was rolling off his lips. As far as I could tell it looked like he was saying, “The I’ll term you later.”

That definitely wasn’t right.

He managed to get a hand out, behind their backs, gesturing at them with a point, and mouthed what looked like “Tests”.

Oh!

Oh my God. As the light dawned on what he was saying, I burst out into a fit of laughter.

He wanted “The Exterminator” to come take care of the “pests”.

For a minute, I considered letting him suffer, but in the end, I decided I didn’t like their paws all over him. It was time to spray some bug spray.

I turned to tell Nan I was going, but she beat me to it. “Go. Get those freaking vultures to stop pecking over his carcass.”

Jesus, Nan was hilarious. And I was super lucky she liked me because when she didn’t like you,
she didn’t like you
.

Shaking my head and smiling, I turned back away from her and sauntered my way down the fence to Coleman, snaking my way in from behind him and sliding my arm around his waist.

The relief in his voice was evident as he murmured, “Hey, baby.” He said this directly to me, but loud enough that they could hear, before turning to them and finishing, “Sorry ladies, but I gotta take my girlfriend to get some food.”

The word girlfriend made the blondes sneer and me giggle. It was so funny to have a grown man call me his girlfriend, but at the same time, it felt awesome. I was really starting to like it. I guess there was really something to his visualization shit.

As we weaseled our way out of the clutch of blondes and his arm slid around my shoulders, I got close and whispered, “You’re kind of a slut,
Cade
. Plus, I’m starting to get a little concerned by my hair color.”

Coleman glanced back at the blondes before letting his lips twitch and responding, “I was a slut, Banty.
Was
. However, I didn’t sleep with all of them. Only Debbie. She’s a bitch and a pain in the ass, but she’s at least pretty. The other two aren’t anything to write home about and have fake tits. Not my thing.”

Mystified, I asked, “How can you tell they have fake tits if you haven’t slept with them? How do you know mine aren’t fake?”

“Oh, Banty, you’re so cute. I can spot a fake tit from a mile away,” he stated with mock seriousness.

“I don’t know if that’s something to be proud of,” I grumbled.

Rethinking his strategy, he quickly changed his tune. “Actually, you know what, you’re right. I’m not 100 percent sure about yours, so I’m gonna need to do an inspection. And soon. Tonight at the very latest.”

“You’re kind of an asshole, you know that?”

At that, his face spread into a blinding smile and then came directly in front of mine before he whispered, “I’m
your
asshole. And I’m pretty sure you’ve mentioned it before.”

As soon as the words left his lips, he crushed them down on mine, forcing them open so that he could slide his tongue inside.

Everything disappeared except for us at the first touch of his tongue. We could have been standing in a room all by ourselves, rather than in the middle of a very large crowd, for all I knew.

His hands spanned my hips and pulled them against his, and his kiss was wet, deep, and delicious. It wasn’t the kind of kiss that was by any means appropriate in public, but I couldn’t find it in me to care.

When he finally pulled out of the kiss, his voice was raspy and his lips stayed on mine. Moving on my swollen ones, his lips formed the soft words, “And you’re
my
Banty rooster, baby.”

When his fingers flexed into the skin at my hips, I whimpered.

Once again overcome by insanity, or some traumatic brain injury, I whispered back something that surrounded remarkably like a plea. “I think I need to do my own inspection tonight.”

A growl came out of Coleman’s throat. It was little, but it was definitely a growl.

“Goddamn. I love my son, baby, but right about now I’m wishin’ we were somewhere where he was
not
.”

His lips left mine and he dipped his head to my throat, a feat that was actually impressive with our height difference, so that he could whisper directly in my ear. “Jacking off while imagining you is getting a little stale. I need to taste the real fuckin’ thing.”

My body shivered and my hands shot out to grab onto his hips. If I hadn’t held on, I would have fallen down. Still in a fog from the kiss, I didn’t guard against my words when I queried, “You think of me while you do that?”

Coleman didn’t hesitate to answer. “Fuck yeah, Banty baby.”

Then, continuing on my path of stupidity, I told him, “I watched you. Three times.”

When he squeezed me so tight I couldn’t breathe and questioned, “You watched me jack off?” I thought it was possible I shouldn’t have said anything. Regardless, I still found the ability to nod in the affirmative.

His voice was a hoarse rasp when he asked, “Did you like it?”

Digging down deep to find my courage, I somehow managed another nod.

As soon as my head made the motion downward, his tongue licked me right below my ear before he breathed directly into it, “We’re getting a hotel room tonight. When we make love the first time, I don’t want you to have to be quiet.”

His words made my nipples harden and my breasts swell, but I pulled back and snapped, “Who says I’m loud?”

Coleman burst out laughing, managing to cough out, “Baby, you’re way too feisty to be quiet,” between chuckles.

When we pulled back from each other further, and I recognized that there were people all around us again, I managed to focus enough to take in their faces. Everyone in the area was discreetly looking on with interest, I guessed because they knew who Coleman was, but the women were looking at me like I had just taken my last breath- because I was going to die at their hands in mere seconds. I couldn’t blame them for their jealousy; Coleman was freaking hot. Like off the charts hot. I had no idea why he thought I was worthy of him, but I wasn’t going to look that gift horse in the mouth.