Impossible (25 page)

“I told you cars made me nervous, but I never explained why. I never told you the whole story, because you never gave me a chance.”

“Ashy, what’s going on?” Concern seized ahold of me. Concern for the girl I loved.

Her grip on the seatbelt slackened and she folded her hands neatly on her lap. As she gazed down at them, she reminded me so much of a child—vulnerable, scared, and weak.

She stared at me with dead eyes. “I was there, seven years ago, when your dad died.”

Her words weren’t making sense. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “I’m not sure what you’re trying to tell me.”

She exhaled. “Your dad died in front of me.”

“But he was killed in a car accident…” My voice trailed off as Ashton’s anxiety about cars began to make sense.

“Yes, he was killed in a car accident in town. He’d just come out of the grocery store. He had that dark chocolate ice cream you were obsessed with. He was planning on surprising you because you’d done so well on your English exam.” She paused, sucking in a deep breath. “He made it to the car and got in. I was standing there watching him, because Mom had gone into the post office and I was waiting for her. As soon as he pulled out, the other car hit him.”

Shit.

Ashton had had to go through something so traumatic on her own, and I was the ass who’d pushed her away. I’d been consumed by my own grief, only thinking of myself that I’d never given a thought to her. I’d only wanted to avoid her, so I wouldn’t have to talk about my feelings, not knowing what she was going through.

I’d lost my dad, but she’d seen it happen.

“How come you never told me? Or told my momma?”

“You never gave me a chance, Luca. You wouldn’t talk to me for weeks. When those weeks turned into months, my mom told me to move on. So I did. We never told your momma because you were already going through so much. Mom didn’t want to add to it.” She gave me a wry smile. “You know, all the photos we had of your dad are in the attic because I couldn’t walk past one without having a panic attack. I walked to school for months because I couldn’t get into a car. Every time I did, I’d think of the accident and I’d have a panic attack. It didn’t get better until I started seeing a psychologist, but I still hate getting into cars and I’ll never drive one.”

“Dammit, Ash. I am so sorry.” Reaching across, I pulled her into my arms and held her against my chest.

She sighed into me, and raised her head so I could those brilliant blue eyes of hers. Different emotions were churning around in them as she spoke. “It’s not your fault. As much I tried to blame you for us drifting apart in the past, it’s not your fault. I could have waited for you until you were ready to talk to me but…”

“…You were afraid of being alone. You were afraid of not having anyone.”

She didn’t need to explain herself to me. I understood her perfectly. Ashton’s biggest fear was being abandoned.

“But you don’t need to worry,” I said, kissing her soft hair. “I will always be here for you.”

Ashton

“I don’t want to alarm you,” Luca said, his voice close to my ear, sending shivers running through my entire body. “But Kance is standing in your driveway.”

My uplifting mood shattered when I looked towards my house and saw that Kance really was standing in my driveway. I had to blink a few times to make sure I wasn’t losing my mind. What the heck was she doing here?

“I guess I better go and see what she wants,” I said, reluctant to leave him.

A twisted smile formed on Luca’s mouth. “Or I could just run her over and say the sun was in my eyes.”

“That’s not funny,” I scolded, giving him my best stern look. I really just borrowed these looks from my mom. She was the master at them.

Luca shrugged and pulled me towards him. His lips touched my cheeks, my forehead, my nose and then finally my lips. “I’ll be inside. Let me know if you need anything.”

As I watched him walk into his house, I was tempted to follow him. I’d rather be with him than speak to Kance. Actually, anything was better than being around Kance.

Okay, I had to get a hold of myself. No matter what she said, I had to be mature and not let her get to me.

Raising my chin, I walked towards her with confident, lengthy strides. When I drew closer, Kance flipped her luscious dark hair over her shoulder and flashed me a smile. As usual, she was dressed impeccably in black pants, a silk top and a cream cropped jacket. In comparison, I looked like a complete mess in my jeans and simple t-shirt. Plus, my hair was stringy and wet—I probably looked like a drowned rat. My confidence plummeted.

Kance’s eyes widened when she caught sight of me. “Oh my God, Ashton! What happened to your face?”

This did not make me feel any better about my appearance. “Nothing. I fell.”

“Oh. Um…are you okay?”

I ignored her question. “Did you want something?” My tone was curt. I didn’t care if I came across sounding rude. She’d done a lot worse to me.

“Um…can we talk, Ashton?” she asked, fiddling with a loose thread on the sleeve of her jacket.

I eyed her warily. “We are talking.”

Kance glanced back towards the Byron’s house. “So, you and Luca are getting pretty serious, huh?”

“Yeah, he’s a great guy despite what
certain
people might think,” I said, crossing my arms across my chest so she’d take the hint.

Kance held her hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Hey, I’m not saying anything bad thing about him. No one is. Ever since the girls on the squad began spending their time fantasizing about him, I’ve become immune to topics of Luca Byron.”

The girls on the squad weren’t alone in this activity. I did my fair share of fantasizing too. It was kind of impossible not to. As Kance stared at me with a despondent expression on her face, I realized that she did too. It was something she’d never admit to, but I’d bet any money that she found him attractive. She was snobby, not blind.

“What is it that you want exactly? Because I’m pretty sure there’s nothing else left for you to take away from me.” I couldn’t keep the anger out of my voice. Kance had treated me like I was a scum of the earth for weeks now. Every time I’d tried to talk to her, to understand what I could do to fix things, she’s belittled and humiliated me. Those wounds were still fresh and I wasn’t in a particularly forgiving mood.

At least Kance had the decency to look guilty. “I know it’s too late for me to say ‘sorry’, but I still want to anyway. I shouldn’t have done what I did. I can’t tell you why I did it. I guess it’s because you make me feel weak and insecure.”

I raised an eyebrow. I made her feel weak and insecure? Was she being serious right now? As I searched her face, I could see that she was fighting with several conflicting emotions. It couldn’t be easy to admit this to someone, let alone me.

“You’re insecure? What could you possibly be insecure about Kance? You’re gorgeous, you’re popular and you have a ton of friends.”

“That doesn’t mean people like me. I was jealous of the way everyone saw you. You’re prettier and you’re a better cheerleader. Other people used to come up and talk to you before I made you think you were too good for them. Those people, who are meant to be my friends, hate me. They talk about me behind my back and I know they secretly hope I fall into a hole and die. My only real friend was you. And we both know I messed that up.”

Her admission softened me a little. I was angry at her, but she’d still been my best friend. We’d been through a lot together over the years. Still, there was one huge issue weighing on my mind. “You knew I liked Oliver, yet you slept with him behind my back. Friends don’t do that.”

“I was a complete bitch, Ashton. I can’t make excuses for what I did. All I can do is say sorry and hope that that’s enough to get you back.” There was a hint of desperation in her eyes that saddened me. Sure, she’d been downright horrible to me, but I couldn’t hold it against her forever. Besides, I missed my best friend.

“I’m not saying that I’m completely over it, but I forgive you,” I said simply. It was as honest as I could be without hurting her feelings.

Kance’s eyes lit up and, surprisingly, she gave me a quick hug before stepping back. “Oh, Ash, there’s so much we have to catch up on. Especially that jerk-off, Oliver! He dumped me and then did the same to you, I assume. But now you have Luca, and that’s so exciting! You have to introduce us properly.”

I didn’t know what Luca would think of that. He was pretty well acquainted with Kance and her antics, but she’d conveniently forgotten the way she’d treated Luca and his friends in the past. I didn’t think Luca would warm up to her anytime soon.

Kance was still speaking, so I focused my attention back on her. “…And Kendall’s parents are out of town this weekend so she’s throwing a huge party at her house on Friday. Half the people from school are going. You and Luca should come!”

I shrugged, not sure whether or not Luca would be into that kind of thing. Him showing up at the bonfire had been a miracle. Going to a house party was a different story. “I don’t know, Kance. He’s got a huge gig coming up on Saturday night and he’s not really into that whole scene.”

Kance pouted a little. “I thought this would be a great way for all of us to reconnect. I really want to work things out between us, Ashton. I want things to go back to the way they used to be.” She sounded so sincere that I couldn’t bring myself to disappoint her.

I heaved a sigh. Maybe if I talked Eddie and Riley into going, Luca would be more open to the idea. “I’m not going to promise anything, but I’ll try.”

Kance beamed and squeezed my arm. “That’s all I was hoping for. Just another chance for us to show each other how much we care.”

The enthusiasm from my best friend was infectious and I gave her the first genuine smile since we’d begun this conversation. “Me too.” And I meant it.

***

Luca

“Is this some sort of sick joke?” I asked. We stood out the front of our houses before school on Monday, as I reeled from Ashton’s news.

My mood had definitely taken a turn for the worst. I’d been so glad to see Ash this morning. Glad that the swelling had gone down on her face and that her bruises were barely noticeable. She looked much happier as well. Her eyes were bright and there was a skip in her step. Still, she was different. She’d changed because of the pain that son-of-a-bitch had inflicted on her. Maybe she’d never go back to normal, but regardless, I was always going to be there for her.

Ash was chewing the inside of her cheek, her eyes uncertain as she studied me. “I think she just feels bad for everything that happened.”

I stared at her in disbelief. “And it took her this long to feel bad? It’s been weeks, Ashy. Sorry if I seem a bit skeptical, but I think it’s a load of bull-”

“Luca, just drop it, okay?” Ash’s tone of voice stung me. She hadn’t exactly yelled, but there was definitely a hint of irritation there.

“Fine, whatever,” I muttered, stuffing my hands into the pocket of my jeans. “Are you ready to go?”

Ashton hesitated, and there was a look in her eyes like she was arguing within herself. She bit her lip, not meeting my eyes. “Um…don’t take this the wrong way, but Kance said she would pick me up today.”

My jaw nearly hit the pavement. This really was a sick joke. There was no way Ash could be that stupid. Kance had made life a living hell for her, and now she was getting a ride to school with her. What. The. Hell. “You’re insane. You’ve lost your damn mind.”

As I turned away to storm towards my car, Ash’s hand caught my t-shirt. That small touch made my stomach squirm and I wanted to pull her into my arms. My temper faded as I turned to meet her glittering blue eyes. “Luca, please, just listen to me.”

Before she could say anything, a horn beeped, interrupting her. Glancing back towards the street, I saw Kance’s black SUV pulling up. Just like that, my bad mood returned and I shrugged Ashton off.

I could tell that my rejection had hurt her, but she didn’t push the matter any further. Clearly she didn’t want to make a scene in front of Kance. Seriously, Kance had only been back in Ashton’s life for two days and already she was causing problems between us.

Kance hopped out of her car and approached us, waving. Ashton waved back, while I simply watched her with suspicion. I’d rather cut off my hand than wave at her. I didn’t trust that girl as far as I could throw her. She was nothing but cold and manipulative.

“Morning, Ashton!” Kance said with a sickly sweet smile. She turned her large eyes onto me. “And Luca, how are you?”

A grunt was my response. That’s all the acknowledgement the she-devil was going to get from me. I turned to Ash, hoping my eyes would convey to her how badly I didn’t want her to go to school with Kance.

She didn’t take the hint. “I’ll see you at school,” she said, reaching up to plant a quick kiss on my cheek.

“I hope that’s okay, Luca,” Kance said brightly. “Ash and I have
so
much to catch up on. We’ll meet up with you at school.”

As I watched them walk to Kance’s car, Ash glanced over her shoulder and shot me a tight smile. I couldn’t bring myself to return it, so I merely nodded. When Kance drove off, I kicked the back of my car and slumped against it, fuming.