Impulse (8 page)

When she emerged, they whistled and applauded.

Sally said, “I may have created a monster. No man will say no to you in that dress.”

Amy was astonished by Sally’s comment. How interesting they recognized her as one of them. How had they known? It was quite apparent they’d known all along. Was it Chas moving in that had alerted them? Or was there now some look about her that they recognized?

Amy said with respect, “The dress is gorgeous.” And it was. It was sea green. Blue green. It was chiffon and clung, but it swirled. The narrow straps over the shoulders were jeweled, green and blue with an occasional red stone. The neckline was straight, but it was deliberately slanted as if it had been pulled askew by hungry fingers. It was shockingly sexual.

Sally told Amy, “It has a fine Cougar tradition. My Aunt Midge gave it to me, and I’m handing it on to you. Wear it only when you need it. It’s foolproof. When you give up the free life, or don’t need it any longer, pass it on to another of us. Be selective. No, don’t take it off. Keep it on. I want to see Chas as he sees you in that dress.”

The dress was a Cougar tradition? Amy knew she couldn’t keep it after all. She would have to give it back. But she, too, wanted to see Chas as he saw her in that dress.

Amy decided she would leave it with Chas when she vanished. He could give it back to Sally, and Sally could pass it on to a real cousin. Charlotte? Kate? They wanted it. Connie didn’t.

How very interesting it was that Connie didn’t want the green dress.

The dress made Amy feel different. More careless. She watched the next film. They were amateurs. Chas was far better. The actors looked silly. That wasn’t the way a man made a woman feel. She was a poor actress. Maybe she didn’t realize what it was like to really be touched by a man. By Chas. Amy smiled at the green dress and touched one shoulder strap.

* * *

Amy and Connie were the only completely sober women when the men arrived to be greeted with delight. Chas saw Amy immediately and his eyes flicked down her and up to her eyes. He didn’t even greet her. He asked coldly, “What are you doing in that dress?”

Amy laughed. “Sally gave it to me. It’s a Cougar family tradition.”

Through his teeth, Chas said, “Take it off. We have to go.”

Sally protested from Tad’s arms. “Not yet. Wait a while.”

Tad laughed. “Let’s go, too.” And he hugged Sally with great pleasure.

Amy heard Matt ask Connie, “What in hell’s the matter with you? Are you in some kind of trouble?”

Connie just shook her head.

Matt urged, “Come on. We have to talk.”

“No.”

“The hell ‘no’! Get a jacket. We’re going to walk.”

“I can’t. I...I can’t. Leave me alone.”

“Is that what you want?”

As Amy was being dragged out of the door, she called back to Sally, “Thanks.”

But Sally was watching Chas in a puzzled way. A thoughtful, almost surprised way.

Out on the deck, Chas wrapped his hand around Amy’s arm and dragged her along, walking too fast. She protested a little, her breasts bouncing in the soft chiffon as she was forced almost to run. Chas took off his suit coat and draped it around her shoulders, not in tenderness but to cover her. He was acting very oddly.

He didn’t speak.

They went down in the elevator to the third floor, he again took her arm as if she would try to escape, and hurried her along to their rooms.

He opened their door, almost shoved her into the bedroom and closed the door. Then through his teeth he said, “Take off that damn dress! Get rid of it!”

He was serious. It wasn’t that he wanted her naked, he wanted her out of that dress! “Why?”

“It’s a tart’s dress.”

He was furious! So furious that she tried to soothe him. “It’s just a dress.”

“It’s Sally’s! She’s a tart, and that’s her dress. I don’t want you in it. You’re not her kind of woman, and I don’t want you dressed like a whore. A high-class whore, but one nevertheless.”

“I feel pretty in it.” Her stubborn resistance to his control was asserting itself.

“She gave it to you deliberately. She wanted me to see you in her dress...she is doing this to try to— Take it off or I’ll tear it off.” He almost snarled.

“I was going to give it back. I wanted to look beautiful for you.”

“You don’t need a tart’s dress to look beautiful for me. You’re beautiful in anything. You’d be just as mind-boggling in a potato sack.”

“Thank you.”

“I don’t want that dress anywhere around you. Give it to me. I’ll go take it back now.”

With some careful maturity, she told Chas, “I believe you’re overreacting.”

“Don’t kid yourself.”

“It makes me think you want Sally.”

Then he laughed. His laughter was of surprise and disbelief. He didn’t want Sally. Amy was sure of that.

She stood there before him and removed the dress. Then she stood there before him in nothing at all but high heels, his pearl and her pearl earrings.

He looked at her and smiled. He took the dress and wadded it up as he said, “Go bathe and wash your hair. I don’t want any taint from this nasty thing on you when I make love with you.” Then he said, “I’ll be right back.”

Amy was thoughtfully drying her hair when Chas returned. He busily came in, stripped, put out his things for the valet service. Then he showered as she glanced around, keeping track of his intrusion into her bath. He opened the curtain and emerged, smiling at her. “Now we’re back to how we should be.”

Since they were alone, and naked, she assumed he meant to take her to bed instantly. She felt sluggish and overwhelmed with the films and talk and the cigarette smoke in Connie’s room. She said, “Chas...”

“Let’s go out on the beach and walk in the clean night air.”

She smiled up at him. “Perfect!”

They put on their soft sweat suits, their socks and Nikes, and— outside— the air was sweet and invigorating. They didn’t take the elevator but went quietly down the deserted stairs and out onto the dark beach.

All was still. The stars were awesome; there was no moon. They didn’t talk at first. They walked at a good pace, holding hands, breathing deeply and looking around.

They walked a long way. It was coming back that they began to talk. But she avoided a good deal of the sharing he did. She still planned to leave him. Therefore, she was cautious about returning the information or ideas or opinions he shared so easily with her. She didn’t want to know him that well. Yes, she did. But she could leave a stranger much easier than she could leave a friend.

How was she to say goodbye to this man? Her first lover.

They had one surprise. Tad and Sally walked by them, heading away from the hotel. They, too, held hands. Their heads were down as they concentrated on each other, so deep in conversation that they didn’t see Amy and Chas.

Amy asked in soft concern, “Second thoughts?”

Chas replied, “No. They aren’t quarreling or disagreeing, they’re sharing...like I am.”

She looked at him sharply in the dark. His wordage again. Sally and Tad were sharing— not as “we are” but as “I am.”

Chas knew she was withholding herself from him.

“What did Sally say when you returned the dress?”

“I said, ‘Here,’ and she said, ‘I understand.’”

“How did she say it?”

“Like she understood exactly.”

Amy flung out her arm. “I don’t.”

“You don’t have to. All’s you have to do is obey.”

“Now Chas...” But why argue? She would be leaving.

“Would you stay over until Tuesday? I can arrange my schedule so we could have a couple more days here. The suite is available. I checked. We could be by ourselves. Can you?”

A positive reply would throw him off his guard. She could say yes and then he wouldn’t watch her so closely. That way, she could get away gracefully.

She’d leave a note— and his pearl— and just leave.

Aloud, she told Chas, “I’m free this week.” It was no real answer, no commitment.

“Good. That will give me more time.”

She didn’t ask for what. She thought she knew. Bedtime. To change the subject she said, “I haven’t yet met Bob and...was it Jean?”

Rather blankly he questioned, “Bob and Jean?”

“The cousins who needed your suite.”

“Oh,
yes!
Well, you see...the kid had measles, after all.”

“I thought it was chicken pox.”

“It may well have been.”

She walked beside him in the starry night with the sound of the Gulf curling nearby. She considered how her attitude had undergone some changes.

She still had to leave, but first, leaving had been because it was only a brief affair, as she preferred. Then, leaving was for his sake. But now she must escape for her own sake.

Ah, and there was another change. The wordage had gone from leave to escape.

T
he next morning at eight, Chas’s wrist alarm buzzed in Amy’s ear. He had to reach across her to turn it off. He said, “My arm’s paralyzed because some lazy, worthless woman slept on it all night long, and I can’t move it. Therefore that woman will have to sit up, so I can drag my arm off the bed and die a thousand deaths until the damned thing will work again. You’re that woman.”

“You sure change a lot in just a couple of hours. Last night you were about as sweet as a man can be and...”

“In your vast knowledge of men.”

“I have come to the sobering conclusion that you’re not a morning man.”

He rolled over on top of her and glared ferociously into her eyes. “Just because I had to get you so thoroughly petted last night, don’t feel so sure about my not being a morning man. I’m an any-time man.”

“Oh.” She smiled up at him. Then she had to say it, “Your arm seems better.”

“It hurts like hell. But there’s hurt and endurance, and there’s not letting some woman get away with being sassy.”

“I see.”

“It’s a good thing.” He rolled off her and held his arm, shaking it and groaning. “I would get tangled up with a cold-footed cuddler.”

“I don’t recall asking you to envelop me last night. I seem to remember it was you who settled us down and told me to be quiet and go to sleep or you’d wear me out.”

“You have a faulty memory. All I tried to do was put my weary bones into bed and sleep. But did you let me? No, you did not. First you make me go out and trudge up and down the damn beach. Then we had to go and soak our bones in the heated pool, and when I finally get up to the rooms, you’re hungry and must eat or you’ll faint. And when I finally get into bed, your feet are cold. Do you know how many kisses it took to warm them up?”

“How many?”

Chas was appalled! “I thought
you
were counting!”

“No, you make my brain swoon and I can’t think.”

“Really?” He was like a stroked cat.

“Um-hum.”

“But I did get you very thoroughly warm, didn’t I.” It wasn’t a question, it was a smug statement.

“All I remember is that you fed me, finally, then the next thing I knew your alarm woke me up.”

“You don’t remember my skillful, intricate, exquisite lovemaking?”

“Oh.” She was curious, “Did we?”

“I suppose it’s best to just give you a utilitarian lesson this morning. You’re going to have to work up to my more elaborate ways. Lie still and be quiet. This will be basic.”

It was a quarter to nine before the basic was finished, and Chas still had to shower and dress. So he didn’t have breakfast before he went to take Connie to the doctor.

“Want me to wait for breakfast?”

“No, we’ll take a drive-through order and eat on the way. This might take a while.” He leaned and kissed Amy.

“Good luck to her.”

“I’ll tell her.” He paused as he looked at her for a strange minute. Then he smiled at her, a different kind of smile, before he leaned to give her a brief, hurried kiss. And he was gone.

Amy bathed slowly. She was tired. She called room service and ordered a perfect breakfast of eggs, bacon, pancakes, milk, tea and toast with jam. Then she dressed.

With the party the night before, the only Cougars out were the kids. They’d probably been thrown out of their parents’ rooms to wear themselves out before the wedding so they’d sit still then. On impulse, Amy went up to Sally’s room and tapped with one discreet fingernail. It wouldn’t be too loud for someone sleeping, but Sally would hear it if she was awake.

When Sally opened the door, Amy was struck by how different she looked. Amy almost didn’t recognize her! Without thinking, Amy said, “You look marvelous!”

“I feel marvelous. We are fitting that miserable dress one more time in just a few minutes. Why not come along and talk to me and keep me company?”

“Sure.” Amy agreed to that readily enough, but then she said uncomfortably, “About the green dress...”

“I understand. And, Amy, don’t louse up with Chas. He’s a special man. Don’t be as stupid as the rest of us. Stay the way you are. I believe I don’t have to draw any pictures for you. You do understand me?”

Amy simply stared.

Sally went slowly around the room, thinking, then she picked up her white lace veil. “Connie was with me when I got this from our Aunt Karen. It’s been in the family forever. We left her place and giggled and laughed and chortled about me wearing a white veil.

“I find, after last night, that my attitude toward this marriage is quite different.” She looked up at Amy. “And oddly enough, it was Chas seeing you in that green dress, and being so furious, that started it off.

“Tad and I went out on the beach and talked. We’ve known each other since college, and we have had no secrets. But after last night, our lives are going to be very different than I thought. We talked about how we look at life and what we want from it, and how we want our children to be. Different from us.

“We are really committed to this marriage. We talked about so many things. Tad and I want the same things. And it was Chas and how he feels about you that opened this all up.

“But, Amy, it was you who made Chas behave in the way he did last night. I’ve seen him with women and he’s always been sure they were treated right, but what they did was their own business. I’ve never seen him as mad at a woman as he was with you last night. What you do is very important to Chas. I believe he loves you.”

“No!”

Sally watched her very seriously. “Be careful of him. He’s too good a man to cheat. We are all astonished he moved in with you. There is something very important happening. If you are attracted to him at all, pay attention.”

Amy moved restlessly and flung out her arms, “I want a man’s life. They have it all. I’m no different. I’m as smart, as innovative. I want to be involved in all the moving and shaping. To sample as I’m attracted. To be— ”

Sally interrupted seriously but softly, “To be a damned fool?”

Amy protested, “You say that now. You’ve had it all!”

“I wish, when I was standing in your shoes all those years ago, someone would have said to me what I’m saying now to you.”

Amy frowned. “If your family is anything like mine, they did.”

Sally was silent before she said, “They did.”

“You might have married years ago and you would never have found Tad. Now you both know what you want. You’ll have a good, solid marriage.”

“Men rarely marry party girls. At my age women are beginning to realize they don’t have a lot of time left to marry and have children. Some don’t want children. They’d rather have careers. But most of them want husbands. So they let a man move in with them, in foolish trial marriages.”

Sally then questioned, “Why should a man marry such a woman? Then the man moves out and marries a younger woman and has children. So the discarded woman— and she does feel discarded— tries another. And another. And marries just to marry if she can find a man who is willing by then. I’ve seen it. It was looming for me. Sexual freedom is a field day...for men. Pay attention.”

Amy was disgusted. “Of all people, I wouldn’t think you’d be talking this way.”

“There’s nothing more convinced than a reformed woman. Listen to me.” She ruffled Amy’s hair, then she exclaimed, “The fitting! We’ve got to go.”

Amy replied, “I need to think.”

“Do. That’s something I was a long time getting around to doing. I’ll see you later.”

They parted outside Sally’s door, and Amy saw it was almost eleven. Chas should be back. She needed to look at him. To see him, and not just how he looked. She went to the stairwell and walked down to the third floor. Surely a woman could live like a man. It just took discretion and style. It didn’t have to be tawdry or public. It could be done with flair. It depended on the woman.

She dawdled along the third-floor balcony above the garage access, and eventually saw Chas and Connie coming from the parking area. Connie? It
was
Connie! She glowed!

It was as if God had put a funnel in her ear and poured in a gallon of sunshine and the light had flowed like honey through her body to imbue every nerve and cell, even down to the ends of her hair! Incredible! Amy simply stared.

Like two of the fabled gods, Chas and Connie spotted Amy and waved to her with big, bright smiles. And Matt was running toward them. He ignored Chas to take Connie’s shoulders in his hands and shake her a little. Since sound rises, Amy heard him demand of her, “Where did you go? What have you been doing?”

Chas split off past them to come to stand two floors below Amy. He said softly, “It’s okay. Come down. I’ll meet you on the stairs.”

Amy glanced again at Matt and Connie. Connie was relaxed and smiling gently, but she was shaking her head. Matt was arguing with her, angry, demanding replies. She did answer, but her manner was very calm. Matt’s gestures were wide and he was talking through his teeth. Connie was unperturbed. Frowning, Amy turned toward the stairwell, but Chas was already there. She asked him, “What happened?”

“A rare allergy to her depilatory on very sensitive tissue. Something she never had trouble with before. A fluke, but a painful rash.”

“And she’s all right?”

“Fine. They ran tests to be sure. And they’ve made her comfortable. The doctor was an older man, who still believes in Saturday appointments and house calls, and he also believes in lectures.” Chas paused and grinned. “He included me.” That made him laugh. He was so amused and talkative that he’d obviously been very worried about his cousin, and he was relieved for her.

Amy exclaimed, “All that worry! Over nothing?”

“Ah, but, Amy, it was possible. She had cause. I believe she’s reformed.”

“I’m surrounded!” Amy retorted petulantly.

“Who else is reformed? I’m not.”

“You wouldn’t be! But Sally is!”

“Who? Sally? Our cousin, Sally? You josh!”

“Yes. She is!”

“That wouldn’t just be a reformation, it would be a transformation!”

“She gave me a lecture.”

“I’d give an eyetooth to have heard
that!
” His tone scoffed.

“She told me you are a good man.”

His green eyes came to her blue ones suddenly serious. “She told you that? She’s on my side in this?”

“In what?”

“Uh...you may not have noticed, Amy, but I’m attracted to you.”

Without concealing her impatience, she informed him, “You first saw me Thursday morning on the beach. This is Saturday morning. That is two days’ time. This is a brief interlude. It would never have happened if you
hadn’t
been attracted. It has no other meaning.

“This is a very micro period in our lives. I leave to...Tuesday.” She’d almost said “tomorrow.” “We’ll go our separate ways. I’ve told you my life is such that I can’t include any meetings or continue this acquaintance.”

“Acquaintance? You call
this
an acquaintance? What do you call a relationship?”

“Something a lot longer in time, with some mutual regard.”

“Our regard is mutual.”

She looked at him almost painfully as she admitted, “You are a special man. I’m glad you’re my first.” Her eyes were sad and her tone worse.

He touched her cheek and his voice was reedy as he told her, “We’ll talk about this on Monday when everyone is gone and we’ve had a decent night’s sleep. When there are no crises to distract us.”

With sad deliberation, she agreed, “Monday should solve everything.” She thought she was being clever with her honest wordage, and those words would stop any more arguments.

How could she stay? She was there under false pretenses. She would have to go away from there and leave Chas forever. To avoid continuing on that difficult subject, Amy then said, “I must buy a gift for Sally and Tad.”

“You’re giving all of us the gift of you as a new cousin. That’s enough.”

She blushed with guilt. “I need to find a gift.”

“I’ve included you on mine. I got them a silver punch bowl with tray and twenty-four silver cups. Cougars entertain quite a bit. Her older sister gets the family one, so Sally will have to have another. We’ve solved that.”

“Do you entertain a lot?”

“Yes. Business. Family. I have some very good friends. You will like them, and they’ll go a little berserk over you. They’ll think you’re a princess I’ve snared with golden apples and a unicorn.”

Chas thought he’d snared her? He still didn’t even suspect she’d set up this whole seduction? He was an innocent. He may have tried a woman or two, but basically he was an innocent.

If he felt that way, in leaving him she would hurt him. Why couldn’t he be more experienced so they could just enjoy this holiday? Laugh over her trickery? And part with cheery goodbyes? It was his possessive attitude that was making her so miserable over leaving.

He said, “You treat me differently than a woman treats a man.”

Amy asked, “How?”

Chas considered before he said, “More as an... equal, or a friend.”

“I am your equal. And I have been friendly.”

He inquired, “How equal?”

“Whatever you can do in the business world, I can equal it in some way. Of course that’s if you are management. I can’t chop down as many trees in a day, but I probably could chop enough down to keep a house warm, given enough time for it.”

Chas was charmed. “Competitive little rascal.”

“Not competitive as much as equal. There is a difference. I don’t want to stand in your place, I want to stand beside you with equal authority.”

His voice gentle, Chas told her, “Any good businessman knows someone must take command. Defused authority confuses. Power struggles weaken and disperse authority. Equality is a very difficult thing to actually achieve, even for a man. For a young and pretty woman, it’s damned near impossible. How important is your career?”

“I find it fascinating. However, it’s always a struggle until the men I work with take me seriously. Or will at least listen to what I say without seeing me first as a woman.”

“I’m not sure there’s much hope for change there. Men first see women as women. No one denies women have that handicap in business. But eventually, if the woman is skilled, men will see the skill next.”