Impulse (5 page)

‘Did something happen to Robbie? Is he okay?'

Marko stared at me for a long time. His lips parted, as though he was about to share something, but instead he shut his mouth and shook his head. ‘Robbie is happy where he is. I asked him to stay here but he declined my offer.'

Why would Robbie not want to stay in the castle? I just couldn't imagine six-foot-tall, well-built Robbie fiddling around with seedlings. He was so much better suited to being a guard. Perhaps things had remained uneasy between Robbie and Marko after Sylvia had lied about the
treason thing. I'd have to visit Robbie soon and find out the truth for myself. And make sure he was okay. It just seemed so wrong to not have him wandering the castle hallways.

A shudder made its way down my spine at the thought of Marko not having the true protection Robbie had once provided. What if Damir still had spies working in the castle—men who could be guarding Marko's door at this very moment?

‘Are you cold? I have extra blankets in my room.' Marko pulled the thick bedcover up and over my lap, but quickly drew his fingers away when they touched my bare skin. He cleared his throat and shifted away from me, choosing to sit at the very end of the bed. It was like he was making sure not to touch me.

Embarrassingly, and without warning, tears pooled in my eyes.

Marko saw the tears and his eyes turned dark with worry, but I waved his concern away with a hand and smiled. ‘It's just the stupid side effects of the tablet. This happened last year.'

He nodded and said nothing for a while before he stood up.

‘You should be feeling fine in a few hours. Is there anything I can get you?'

I wanted to say a hug, but couldn't bring myself to beg for his affections; so instead I shook my head.

‘I'll let you sleep. Next time you wake up you'll feel a little closer to normal. Then I'll take you out into the gardens. The light and the greenery will lift your mood.'

‘That'd be great.' I wiped my eyes and forced myself to smile at Marko, to assure him I was okay. He smiled back, but his eyes didn't. Was he disappointed somehow? Did I
not live up to his memories of me? What happened to
‘I care for you, more deeply than I've cared for any other girl…'

‘Wait, Marko.'

‘Yes?'

Hang on. Did his eyes just flicker with something that looked like hope?

‘I…um…just want to…' Argh! I couldn't say it. As much as I wanted to let him know that I still had feelings for him—
strong,
romantic feelings—the words wouldn't come. I had to think of something else to say, quickly. ‘Um…is Damir still in the dungeons?'

Marko's face turned to stone, superfast and scarily so, his eyes equally as hard. ‘Yes. He's still there. Though I'd much rather him dead.' He sighed and stared at the ground for a long time. ‘It's Sylvia I keep him alive for. She and Damir were so very close as children, true twins, that I somehow feel his death would affect her wellbeing.'

‘And how is Sylvia?' I asked, my voice catching at the abrupt change in him. I wanted the warm Marko back, the one who'd joked that I'd moaned and groaned in my sleep; but I had to ask after her. I needed to know if he'd listened to my hysterical ravings and warnings last year.

A slight frown wrinkled Marko's forehead. ‘Sylvia is well.' He stepped back and rubbed the back of his neck, an invisible wall shooting up between us, before saying a curt, ‘Goodnight.' On his way across the room he gestured with a wave of his arm to a small dining table with a tray of food, a carafe of wine and another of water. ‘There's plenty to eat and drink, so feel free to help yourself.'

My question about Sylvia had hurt and bothered him. I shouldn't have asked about her yet. She was his sister and also the only mother he'd known. He wasn't exactly going to love hearing that I still thought she was a threat to his
throne and his life. He wouldn't listen to me last year, so why would he now?

He closed the door behind him, sealing his room off from mine. I wished that he'd kept it open; at least then I'd feel connected to him somehow. Like this, I felt so alone and shut off; not only from Marko, but also from the rest of the world.

I was literally on my own, at the bottom of the cold dark sea.

Settling back beneath the covers, I thought of Lauren, all alone like me, especially now that she and Jackson were over. Nana and Pop would keep her occupied for the time being, as would her retail job at the city fashion boutique. Also, having no-nonsense Aunty Lynn there would help. From what I could remember of our childhood, she ran her house with military precision, but had a warm, caring heart and shared a close bond with Lauren. She'd be Lauren's rock. And Nana would be comforted to have her sister living with her. They'd always been as close as twins, Pop used to say.

Tears blurred my eyes at the thought of Nana asking after me. Hopefully Lauren wouldn't tell them the truth of my whereabouts. Hopefully she'd stick to the ‘staying with friends' story I'd made her memorise. They would eventually carry on, unaware that their youngest granddaughter had chosen another life, in a foreign world, with a guy who may or may not reciprocate her feelings, and a bunch of people whom she didn't truly know.

I rolled over and buried my face in the soft pillow, which smelt faintly of sea salt. Marko was in the next room, and yet I felt further away from him now than when we'd been oceans apart.

Perhaps hours later, I opened my eyes to the dim glow of the light-crystal lamps on the bedside tables. With a clear, drug-free head, I scrambled out of bed and approached the main door to my room. Maybe I'd catch Anne in the corridors on her rounds. From the day I met her, when she brought in my first meal during captivity, I had instinctively known she was going to be someone I could trust. It would be so good to see her again. I hadn't even gotten the chance to say goodbye in my rushed exit last year.

The heavy wooden doors creaked and groaned when I pushed against them, the sound echoing down the vast hallway. A draft of cool air tickled the sweat-dampened tendrils of hair that had stuck to my neck.

Someone coughed and I froze. A huge, muscled guard sat in a chair right in front of Marko's double doors. He raised his head and fluttered sleepy eyes at me before suddenly leaping to his feet, daggers in each hand.

I nearly screamed, but recognised him before I did.

‘Jordon,' I whispered, before swearing beneath my breath. ‘You scared the hell out of me.' He was dolphin-loving Henrietta's brother. A guard I could trust. I felt immediately better about Marko's safety now that I knew Jordon was looking out for him.

‘What's wrong?' he nearly shouted. ‘Is it Marko?'

‘Shhh. No. He's gone to bed, I think.' We locked eyes and I grinned at the way his blond hair stuck up in different directions. ‘Nice to see you again.'

He scowled at me. ‘You got me into big trouble the last time I saw you, running off into the city like that, on
my
watch.'

‘Oh. Sorry.' I stared at the ground, at my bare feet, which were freezing on the smooth, stone floor. Jordon seemed
grumpier than I'd remembered. I turned to retreat to my room when I heard a low rumble of laughter. Henrietta's brother was grinning at me, his light-blue eyes sparkling with humour.

‘I'm just messing with you, Miranda. It's good to see you again.' He bent forward and sheathed the two daggers on the inside of his long, black boots, the muscles in his arms flexing as he did so. ‘I'm not sure I can forgive you for stealing what should have been my room, though. I have to share with Jonathan and one of the older guards, and they both snore. There are only two beds in our room so I have to sleep on the floor.'

I shrugged, unsure what to say, but then he grinned, revealing straight white teeth.

‘No, seriously, Marko kept this room for you since the day you left. Nobody has touched it. And I wouldn't know if Jonathan or Brent snore because we each take turns guarding Marko as well as the castle entrance, so there's only one of us sleeping in the room at a time.' He winked.

Shaking my head, I finally smiled. He was such a dork.

A door closed somewhere far off in the castle and Jordon immediately straightened his spine then nodded his head. ‘That's just Sylvia turning in for the night. You develop a keen sense of hearing when you spend most of your time in silence.'

‘That's good to know,' I said, reassured by his heightened senses, before realising that it wasn't actually good to know this. I didn't exactly want him listening to my every move or eavesdropping on my and Marko's conversations. He must have realised what I was thinking, because his cheeks coloured a little and he laughed.

‘I don't hear everything; just the important sounds. Everything else gets filtered out. I'm here to protect
Marko—and you—that's all.' The chair scraped against the stone floor as he sat down.

I nodded and gnawed on my bottom lip.

‘So…does Marko have many enemies?' I asked hesitantly. A sudden cold draft sent goosebumps up my legs and across my arms.

Jordon avoided my eyes and stared down the length of the corridor. ‘Not since Damir's arrest. But it's best to take precautions.' He tapped his foot against the ground and alternately beat the dagger hilts like he was playing the drums, but in an agitated way. I watched him for a moment before he stopped and smiled shyly. ‘Henrietta hates it when I do that.'

‘I don't mind.' I rubbed at my arms. ‘How is Henrietta?' I asked, grateful that he'd mentioned her. It was obvious I'd made him uncomfortable asking about enemies and I didn't want him to put any walls up between us so soon—like I'd already made Marko do.

He shrugged, but his face seemed to redden within a second and his hands balled into fists.

‘She's engaged.'

‘Engaged?' I smiled. ‘So who's the lucky guy?'

‘He's a guard, like me. Well, if you can call him a guard. He works at the Colosseum.' The hilt tapping started again. It was clear he didn't think much of this guard his sister was marrying. After about a minute of jiggling around, he stopped.

‘Can I get you anything, Miranda? The new chef, Maria, is a good woman. She doesn't mind us sneaking in for a late-night bite.'

I thought of Dina, the chef who'd helped the horrible, treasonous guard William to kill Pat, a kitchen-hand who had been so kind to me and had ended up saving my life.
I still had nightmares about the sickening crack of the death-blow William had delivered to Pat's skull.

‘Are you all right? You look pale,' Jordon asked, getting to his feet.

‘Oh.' I rubbed at my eyes and yawned. ‘I think I'll get back to sleep. It feels late. Do you know what time it is?'

‘After midnight,' he said, before stretching his bulging arms out and folding them behind his head. ‘Only five hours to go and I get to sleep in a soft bed.' He winked at me and grinned. ‘Sweet dreams, Miranda.'

‘Say hi to Henrietta for me,' I whispered, before slipping back into my room.

I closed the door but, instead of going to bed, headed straight for the dining table. There was no need for me to ask the kitchens for a midnight snack. A delicious assortment of food awaited me, and my empty stomach groaned with excitement. Though the big table was only set for one, which kind of made me feel even lonelier than I already did, it gave me the licence to pig out big-time, without an audience.

There was a plate of cold prawns, already peeled and coated in a parsley dressing, a salad of cherry tomatoes and delicate slices of cucumber. There was a fresh round loaf of bread, which I immediately ripped into, tearing off a chunk and then topping it with a marinated prawn before shoving it into my mouth.

I washed it all down with a long gulp of cool water. After I'd demolished all of the prawns and had my fill of the deliciously crunchy salad, I sipped on another glass of water and took in my surroundings with a little more appreciation than I had done when I'd first woken.

There was an ensuite, and to its side there was a bookshelf crammed full of books. Setting the water down,
I hurriedly wiped my hands with a white cloth and ran over to the shelf to study each and every spine, caressing them with my fingers, feeling every crease and indentation. I wondered if Marko had brought the books in especially for me, or if they'd once belonged to Robbie.

A sense of unease washed over me, to be looking at Robbie's things without his permission or knowledge. But surely Marko would have wanted to rid the room of all things Robbie before he had put me in here?

I closed my eyes and tried to push Robbie from my mind. It was hard to imagine him living another life outside of the castle. Did he live by himself? Or had he now settled down with somebody like Lily, his childhood friend? A tiny prickle of jealousy tickled the back of my neck, but it was completely unreasonable. I had no claim on Robbie, sisterly, friendly, or otherwise. I'd pretty much ruined his friendship with Marko, and they'd been like brothers.