In a Dark Embrace (10 page)

He shot her a curious look. “Do you think of it as a goddess?”

“No. I think of it as an elemental force, one of four—earth, fire, water and spirit. It’s the force I draw on for my strongest magic.”

“If your magic comes from that then what’s a spell? I thought those were the way you did magic.”

Lee shook her head. “A spell is only a path for the power to flow along—a way of giving direction to the force. However, old spells are almost magical all on their own. If the same words are used over and over again for the same purpose the magic gets easier. Spells that have been used by many generations are like paved roads, smooth and easy to travel. Even witches without much power can use the oldest spells. Only very strong witches can make new ones.”

“And you can make new spells.”

She nodded. “I still use existing spells wherever possible. No point reinventing the wheel. But I do enjoy whacking at the wilderness and cutting new trails. And sometimes I’m pushed into it. Like if I really wanted to get out of those handcuffs.” She leaned back in her chair and contemplated the value of crafting such a spell. The words would need to be repeated several times in order to scrape the merest groove for the magic to move through. If she did it every week for a year it would be something she could pass on to other earth witches. Lee frowned slightly. “I’m not sure a pliable metal spell is sufficiently useful to put the effort into developing.”

“Are you sure? Wouldn’t it also be useful for getting out of, or into, a locked room?”

Lee considered that. The easiest way to get through a locked door was to have someone else open it. However, she required physical contact to put that impulse into another person and that limited her ability. Perhaps she should create the spell. There was even an old one she could start with, one to bend iron. A little modification…yes, it could work. And if she based it on an old spell even moderately strong witches could use it. A good knack to have in their back pockets.

“Thanks for the advice. I’ll work on it.”

Jeremy looked surprised. “Advice?”

She chuckled. “That it could be useful to have the ability to open locked doors.”

“Just don’t go melting any locks at my house. I promise to open any door if you just ask.”

“What—no locked cupboards with dark secrets you want to keep hidden from me?” she teased.

Jeremy shifted slightly. “You already know the biggest secret in my life.”

Lee looked closely at him. There were clearly other things he didn’t want to share with her. “I won’t pry, Jeremy. Not around your house and not in your head.”

His hand curled around hers. “I know, my witch.” Then he sighed and she felt a wave of regret and pain emanating from him. “There are some things in my past you don’t want to delve into.”

She caught his gaze and held it. “I’ve done things…experienced things, that might make even you uncomfortable, my wolf.”

They both had dark patches on their souls. Most of hers were from secondhand experiences. She had gone into the minds of rapists and psychopaths, had shared their twisted pleasure. Lee knew what it felt like to crave the look of abject terror in another’s eyes, what it meant to get off on a woman’s scream of pain. There was nothing in Jeremy that came close to such evil. However not all the darkness she carried came from others. Some acts she had performed all on her own.

Jeremy picked up her hand and kissed it. They sat there holding hands as the sun moved across the sky and slowly ate away their shade.

“What do you want to do today?” he finally asked.

“Just this is wonderful.” She smiled at him.

“We could go out for lunch or I can scrounge up something here.”

Lee blinked at him. “Are you hungry again already?”

“It is noon.”

“Well, yes, but we had a huge breakfast only a couple of hours ago.”

Jeremy stood up. “I’ll go have a snack. We can find a restaurant later. Can I bring you a drink? I have Coke or orange juice.”

“Coke.” She watched him walk into the house, admiring the way he moved. Even in her presently languid mood he created a stir in her belly. Lee leaned back and closed her eyes.

“Are you hungry yet?” he asked a while later and laid a hand on her leg.

Lee laughed. She had been daydreaming and he had featured prominently in her fantasy. “I might enjoy…a little something.” Glancing up at him through her lashes, she gave him an inviting smile. Jeremy scooped her up like a child and carried her into the house.

* * * * *

She tasted the ridges down the center of his back and the dimples on his butt. He nibbled on her toes and licked the hollow behind her knees. It was an undemanding exploration that inched toward a long, sweet fulfillment.

Afterward Lee lay basking in the warmth of the sun streaming in through the open window in Jeremy’s bedroom. She put her chin on his chest and examined his face closely.

“Jeremy, how old are you? I had guessed about thirty but from things you’ve said I’m thinking you’re actually a bit older.”

“Werewolves age more slowly than normal,” Jeremy said, then hesitated. “I’m forty-six but my records say I’m thirty-one.”

She sat up. “Why…how…?”

“We live to be well over a hundred. It was decided by my father’s generation that we didn’t want the attention that being fit and healthy at one hundred would bring. Medical science is very focused on issues of aging and the pressure to submit to tests would be considerable. We have a very good hacker in our group. He works to keep us within reasonable age ranges. I finished high school, traveled for a couple years, went to university then traveled for many more years, dithered about doing this and that until deciding to join the RCMP. Before I joined my records were changed to show I had just graduated from university.”

Lee leaned over and traced his face with her fingers. “Forty-six. No, you certainly don’t look it.” She smiled. “Guess that makes it easy for you to date much younger women.”

Jeremy shrugged. “Much under thirty and they aren’t very interesting.” He looked away. “Not that it’s mattered recently.”

“What? Have you been off women? Other than the buxom Melissa, of course.”

His blue eyes looked up at her solemnly. “No. I don’t think I can go off women. Melissa was one of many. But I haven’t been dating them, I’ve been fucking them. I haven’t had a date in over three years.”

“What do you consider to be the difference? Lots of guys date just to get into a girl’s pants.”

He shook his head. “Dating means you’re trying to get to know the person. I haven’t given a damn about any of them so won’t deign to label any meals which happened to be eaten in their company as a date. Usually I didn’t even bother with dinner…or breakfast.”

Jeremy was painting a harsh picture of countless empty fucks with nameless women. “What happened three years ago?” she asked softly.

“I gave up. I realized I wasn’t ever going to be able to get a woman to stay. At least, not one that I was remotely interested in. I could marry some fawning mouse but I’m not attracted to them. And I worry about what I might turn into, stuck in that kind of relationship. After that women were like cheeseburgers. Something I needed for my body but…” He gave a sharp little laugh. “Problem with fast food is that afterward I’m still hungry.” Jeremy’s eyes locked on hers. “I haven’t felt even remotely satisfied in many years. And like this? Sated? Replete? Never.”

She digested that. A multitude of women treated like fast food. Years of moving from one to the next. She could tell that he wanted to commit to one woman. His nature was driving him into it; wolves mated for life. But it was the wolf in him that made it almost impossible to have a stable relationship with a normal woman. She wondered if he would be able to break a habit of three years so easily. After things settled into complacency between them would he be fucking the next pair of willing legs that opened to him? And there must be lots of those, given his looks, his charisma and his job.

Jeremy interrupted her thoughts. “What about you? Why no man in your life?”

“I was in a serious relationship for several years. It ended a year and a half ago. I haven’t met anyone sufficiently interesting since then. I don’t date just to fill up my social calendar. If there’s no spark I’d rather stay home and eat ice cream.”

He laughed. “I’d say we have a bonfire going, wouldn’t you?”

Her lips twitched up. “A forest fire. Dangerous, wild but…oh, the heat.”

“Very hot,” he agreed with an answering smile. Then he turned serious again. “How did things end?”

“I caught him in bed with my best friend.”

His looked shocked. “How can someone like you be surprised in that way? Wouldn’t you have known?”

“Not unless I read his mind which, as I told you, I don’t do. I sensed feelings, of course. I knew he and Barb were attracted to each other…just assumed that neither of them would act on it. I was wrong.”

“What a total idiot.”

Lee stiffened. She had been an idiot but that didn’t mean she liked him saying so.

Then he continued, running a light finger over her breast and belly, “To have this and be looking elsewhere.”

“You’ll look too,” she said softly. “With your sexual appetite I have no doubt you will both look and want. Your cock will stir at the sight of other breasts. The question is, will you act on it? When a beautiful woman offers herself to you will you be able to say no?”

“Lee, it isn’t even remotely possible.”

“Bullshit,” she said and glared at him.

Jeremy drew back. “I will not screw around on you.”

“Good. Because if you do you’ll find that every shift in the wind carries my scent, every woman looks like me, you’ll hear my voice instead of hers…but none of them will satisfy you. I will curse you with frustrated desire.” His eyes widened at her threat. Lee didn’t know how she would lay that spell but is sounded good. Got his attention, that was clear. She continued, “Just don’t say you won’t even be tempted because that’s a pile of crap. All I ask is the decency to let me know if you want to move on. Don’t think you can have me and the easy fucks in dark alleyways too.”

“Right now I can’t even imagine being interested in another woman.”

Lee started to say something but he held up his hand. She closed her mouth and waited for him to finish.

“But okay, years from now when this fire has been contained in a neat domestic hearth I will look at those other women and wonder what they would taste like, feel like. And when a hand reaches for my crotch maybe they’ll find me hard.”

Lee held her breath. The bastard was telling her more than she wanted to hear. Both the idea of being with him years from now and the way he described responding to another woman bothered her. She wasn’t anywhere near ready to consider that kind of long-term commitment but neither did she want to share him with anyone else.

He continued, “And I’ll think about it. And I’ll say no. And if the day ever comes that I want to say yes I’ll tell you. Is that enough of a promise for you?”

She nodded.

“Good. And if you ever fuck around on me I’ll kill him.”

He said it with casual bluntness, as if he were talking about taking out the garbage.

She snorted. “How exactly would that work, with your job and everything?”

“It wouldn’t. There’d be nothing rational about it, Lee. I’m just sure that if I ever found you with another guy he’d end up dead. Consequences be damned.”

She believed him. He could control the wolf in himself only so far. “Just make sure the guy really is fucking me. Don’t go killing off my male friends because of a kiss or some other man because he made a pass.”

He gave her a hard, predatory smile. “Agreed. But I reserve the right to punch those guys out. Friend or not, if a kiss crosses the line they’ll wake up with bruises.”

“You’re a mean son of a bitch,” she said and examined him thoughtfully. He was making his position very clear. Could she live with that kind of vicious possessiveness? Lee wasn’t sure. She looked away.

“You aren’t exactly all sweetness and light yourself, my little witch,” he teased.

“No. I’m not. I don’t think either witches or werewolves can be pure good. Power yearns to be used,” Lee said distantly and stared at the ceiling.

She needed to digest what Jeremy had told her. His history with women, his casual threats as well as the implied expectation of a future together, it all made her uncomfortable.

Wet kisses on her shoulder distracted her from such thoughts. She turned toward him and Jeremy raised himself to take her mouth. His passion was so strong it swept away all other thoughts like a raging river pushing debris from its path. Lee released herself into the torrent and returned his kiss with an equally driven desire.

Chapter
Seven

Lee sagged against the counter in the staff room and cursed Mondays as she helped herself to yet another cup of coffee. Was it possible to eliminate an entire day off the calendar? She was stumbling around like a zombie, feeling emotionally drained and mentally unfocused. Her clients weren’t getting their money’s worth today that was sure.

She hadn’t gotten home ‘til near midnight yesterday. Jeremy had taken her out for a late lunch after which they had gone for a long walk in a nearby park. Returning to his place, they’d lounged around for a while then ordered pizza before getting all sweaty again. God, but that man had an insane sexual appetite and unbelievable stamina. Lee tried to count in her head how many times they’d had sex over the weekend. Way more often than she would have thought possible. She took a sip of coffee and considered her recent behavior with a kind of fascinated awe. While she was with Jeremy his powerful presence flooded her witch sense and fueled her own desire. It was only after she left that her thoughts and feelings became completely her own again. It was scary, losing herself that way.

Thinking about Jeremy had kept her awake far into the night. All the nagging little warning signals she’d been ignoring had rushed to the fore while she lay in bed staring up at a darkened ceiling. Their conversations yesterday had left no doubt that as far as he was concerned she was his girlfriend. His expectation was of an exclusive relationship extending far into the foreseeable future. Jeremy was exciting, fun, intelligent and sexy beyond words. Lee knew she should be thrilled. Instead she was feeling suffocated. She liked him but the aura of ownership which he had been projecting put her back up. Instant sex she could do but this instant relationship had her freaked.