In A Heartbeat (14 page)

I pause and tense up. I really care about her a lot. I am just not sure I am ready to put that part of my life back into someone else’s control after what happened the last time. Eaven notices immediately and looks up at me. I am going to hurt her when I say this.

“I can’t do this. If more time had passed, maybe.”

“Don’t worry about it. I understand.” She says staring into my eyes.

She turns away and starts the shower water. What am I doing? I can’t keep my hands off of her. There is no way I will make it through this shower after the day we have had.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Eaven

“Fuck this!” He says as he grabs a towel and leaves me in the bathroom alone. What did I do? I can understand his reluctance to go without a condom, but I am really on the pill. I take it religiously for my own personal reasons. I am not ready for a child yet.

I hear the bedroom door slam. I wait and a lump climbs into my throat. I know he is just frustrated about the situation. I start to wash my hair and I hear the door again. I glance over at the figure through the shower door and I can see him drop his towel. He slides the door open and unrolls a whole strip of condoms.

“Um.. Where did you find those?” I ask suspiciously.

“Ivy, now make room for me.”

“You went to ask Ivy for condoms while sporting nothing but a towel.”

“Yes, I knew she would have some because she is the female version of my brother. If I was out at home, I would have asked him.”

“Oh. My. God. Look at yourself. You must have been poking through the towel.” I notice he is very erect and ready.

“It’s not like she hasn’t seen one a
lmost like it.” I nod at that. That is all sorts of wrong and at the same time, I can’t help but be thankful for his quick thinking.

We take quick showers and before I know it we are in bed initiating our attacks on each other. I love how compatible we are. He knows how to push me into ecstasy multiple ti
mes before there is even a need for the condom.

My entire body reacts to him. To his touch, his smell…. Oh god the taste of him, the sound of his moans, and especially the sight of him as he consumes me in all ways.
He is even breathing into me and at this moment he is even the air that I breathe.

I am done. I love this man with everything inside of me. He holds my heart in his hands. He can be gentle and care for it or he can crush it single handedly. A single tear drops down the side of my face as I realize how quickly I have fallen for him and how the thought of him crushing my heart would break me for good.

He sees my tear and pauses to wipe it away with his thumb. “Oh baby. Why the tears?”

I turn my face to look away and he forces me to look at him. I can’t force the lump in my throat to
subside enough to form a word. I begin to feel panic and a sense of enclosure that is causing me to tear up even more.

“Please.” I finally whisper. Please what? I’m not sure why I said that. It was the only thing that would come out of my mouth. Please get off of me? Please don’t break me? Please take me now? Please never leave me? Please love me? Please?

He rolls off of me and takes me into his arms. He holds me tight as I let my eyes finish draining. I know I am confusing him, because I am confusing myself. I am letting the fear of losing him get in the way of enjoying him. He begins to softly caress my back trying to sooth my emotions.

“Ev. You don’t have to say anything. I understand what you are feeling.” He whispers.

I eventually fell asleep in his arms. I wake the next morning alone. I have class this morning, but I wanted to start uploading the pictures from Saturday night. I work on flagging my favorite photos and still make it in time to leave for class with Ivy.

“Did you enjoy your night?” Ivy says winking at me when I enter the kitchen.

“We didn’t use any of your stash if that is what you are asking.”

“WHAT? Why not?” She looks appalled.

“Because I am stupid. Things were going great and I started to realize how strong my feelings are for him. It seemed like everything came crashing down on me at once and I couldn’t help but cry. I crumbled.”

“What did he do?” Ivy looks concerned.

“He held me.”

“Oh Ev, you are falling fast for him. What are you so scared about?”

“Uh…the obvious. I am scared he will break my heart.”

“Wouldn’t you rather have the memories of love
, even if it comes with hurt, than never feel love at all? I promise that if he breaks you into pieces that I will be here to help you pick them up and put you back together. Take the plunge and just live, Ev. You guys are perfect for each other.”

“I love him Ivy.”

“I know you do! A best friend knows these things. I also know that he loves you!”

I take what Ivy has to say and build myself up to face a conversation with Talon. I need to apologize for last night. I know this will be awkward, but it has to be done. I decide to skip the first class and ask Ivy to take notes for me.
I drive to his house to get this over with.

I try the door and I’m excited that it is unlocked. I walk straight to his bedroom and I can hear the water running in the shower. I am startled when I see movement in his bed.

“Who the fuck are you?” This strange woman sits up in his bed. She is wearing a skimpy, cami tank top and her hair is sticking up in all directions.

“Who are
you
?” I say not impressed with the way she is glaring at me.

“I’m Nicole, Talon’s girlfriend. If you are here for Taron, you are in the wrong room.”

I stare at her in disbelief. This can’t be happening. How could he do this to me? How can he leave my bed onl
y to join someone else in his?

Nicole? I know that name. His ex, or so I thought. I leave his house and go straight to my apartment. I lost it the instant I closed the door to his house. I am a blubbery mess by the time I reach the apartment. I lock up and close all of the blinds and curtains. I want darkness. My phone starts vibrating.

Talon: Good morning beautiful! Sorry I left you last night.

Eaven: Why did you go?

Talon: Something came up that I had to take care of.

Yea, I bet that something was his dick. I shut my phone off. I can’t take any more right now.

Chapter Twelve

Talon

I woke up last night to Holden calling me. When I answered he told me that Nicole was dropped off at our house. I am livid pissed that she keeps bothering me. Who does she think she is? She gave up any rights to being in my life when she fucked
it up.

I raced home to find both
of my brothers and Nicole in the kitchen.

“What are you doing here?” I growl when I enter.

“Talon, I came to talk to you.” She says softly with her head lowered.

“Say what the fuck you came to say and get out.” I have zero sympathy for her.

“I am sorry.” She says so quietly that I almost didn’t hear her. That is what she came to say? Three words? Three words that don’t mean anything now that the damage is done.

“Fine! Now get out.”

“Talon, please listen to me.” She is looking at me now and tears are running down her face. I stare at her and wait for her to finish.

“Can we have some privacy?” She asks.

“No. You can say what you need to say and get out.”

“Talon, I am sorry that I messed up. I am clean now. I love you and I never meant to hurt you.” I laugh.

“Please listen. I need you in my life. I want us to work on things and get back to where we used to be.”

“Do you mean back to where you slut yourself out for drugs and overdose killing my baby? Or do you mean to where you are so
fucking out of it that you are going to jump off the bridge?” These words make her sobs louder.

“There is not going to be a point in my life where I let you back into it. You and I are done. I want you to leave
now.”

“Talon, she doesn’t have anywhere to go tonight. I will get her out of here in the morning.” Holden says calmly trying to bring my temper down.

“Fine, I will sleep in my truck.” I say as I slam the door on my way out.

I sit in the seat and start
to think of everything that is going on in my life. I have this great girlfriend in my life now. Our band is taking off and I am doing well in school. Even after I thought everything was ruined, I have made my way past the tragedy.

I finally close my eyes to get some sleep and the passenger door opens. Nicole climbs in.

“I will leave in the morning. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Please come inside and sleep. I can’t sleep knowing that I have forced you from your house.”

“Just go inside, Nicole.” She slides across the seat and attempts to kiss me. I push her chest back. “I have moved on, Nicole. You need to do the same.”

“What do you mean you moved on? Do you have another girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“Do you love her?”

“Yes.” I am surprised at how easy that came out of my mouth.

“How can you give up on me so easily?”

“We apparently gave up on each other about
eight months ago.” My words snap out.

“I understand. I don’t like it, but I understand.” She says
, sounding depressed. We sit there for a long time. I finally decide to end the silence and try to move past all of my anger.

“I really do hope you find peace in your life. I hope you find someone that can make you happy.” I say feeling a weight lift from my shoulders.

“Go inside and get some rest. I will be in after a while.” I tell her hoping she will finally leave me.

I fall asleep in the truck and wake up to Taron banging on my windshield when he was leaving for
school. I rush to get ready for class. I walk in my room and see that Nicole is still here and has made herself at home in my bed. I hope she enjoys the fact that she is sleeping on sheets that Eaven and I were wrapped up in Saturday night. I text Eaven and wish her a good morning.

I shower and dress quickly before I notice Nicole is awake.

“I’m out of here. My brother will take you wherever you need to go.” I say walking out of the room.

“Talon. I will always love you, ya know. You saved my life twice. I really am sorry that I hurt you.” I start walking again and never look back.

I see Ivy at the student center without Eaven. They always meet me here before this class. “Where is my girl?” I ask her.

Ivy looks at me confused. “She was headed to your house this morning. I figured I would meet up with you both here.”

“Shit. Are you kidding me?” My face must fill with panic because Ivy’s starts to also.

“What Talon? You are scaring me!” Ivy starts to grab my t-shirt around the neck.

“My ex-girlfriend was at my house this morning.”

“And?” Ivy asks pulling the neck of my t-shirt tighter.

“And she was sleeping in my bed.” She is practically strangling me now. “Shit! Ivy get off of me!”

“You fucker. I was just telling her this morning to take the plunge and break down her walls with you. You go and cheat on her
during
my conversation about how perfect you guys are together.” She starts walking away.

“I didn’t cheat on her.”

“Don’t worry. I will clean up the mess. I will always be there to help her pick up the pieces. You have really messed up a good thing asshole.”

I try calling
Eaven, but it goes straight to voice mail. I take off running to catch up with a pissed off Ivy. “Will you listen to me? I did not cheat on her. Nicole was dropped off at my house and we talked, that is it.”

“So Eaven would have seen her in bed sleeping next to you?”

“Fuck no! I am not sure when she came by. I could have been in the shower or I could have already left for the day. Look you can ask both of my brothers, I slept in my truck last night.” This whole thing is pissing me off. I am yelling at Ivy and this whole mess isn’t even her fault.

“Ok, I believe you. It will be tough for her to see past
it if she saw her in your bed, especially after what she walked in on with Brandon in the past.”

Ivy is finally seeing the truth. I tell her what I know happened last night and this m
orning.

“Let me go home and see where her head is at. I will call you.”
There is no way I am going to wait for her to call me. I give her a little head start, but I know where I am going.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Eaven

I cry for what feels like hours wh
en I finally hear Ivy knock on my door.

“Ev, open up!”

I saunter to the door and open it. Ivy can see that I am devastated. She wraps her arms around me and holds me upright in the doorway. I am positive my legs would have collapsed if she wasn’t holding me so tight.