In A Universe Without Stars 1: Skyeater (16 page)

The
officials in front of him are stunned.

“Well?”
the president asks.

“Yes.
Mr. President,” the secretary of defense says. He leaves to do his part. The
rest leave without saying a world.

The
president turns and looks back outside into the fake sky for what he presumes
is the last time. He’s hoping for a new better world after this but he’s not a
fool. Humanity might not come back after this.

…

Julio’s
launch ship flies over the Potomac River. It is red, the color of blood.

It
lands in an air field close to the edge of the city. The bay side door opens
up. Julio is the first one out. He takes a deep breath in, he’s ready for
anything. The rest leave the ship.

“I
guess now we wait,” he says.

Cole
walks
down the
Astron
ships cold
dark hallway. It’s sad to see how far they’ve fallen. At the end of the hallway
is a single door where his ascent will begin. He continues down.

The
cleanliness and bleakness of the place is getting to him. Is he going to see
things differently when he ascends? His hands glide across the gray concrete
like walls. The rough edge scrapes against his skin. Is he going to feel,
smell, and see things differently?

Will
he really be himself when he becomes a god?

In
a small way, he wants to change, he wants to leave his past behind him with all
his mistakes. He wants to escape the fear of his failure and his fear of
inevitability. He makes it to the door. He stops in front of it, hesitating.

He
has to change in order to become a god, but into what?

Into
the power to change.

The
reality of it scares him. But if he doesn’t change the world will end. He lifts
his hand, the door opens sideways. He walks in.

The
room is completely white. Cole shields his eyes from the brightness, he lowers
his hands as his eyes adjust. The room is so white he can’t see where the walls
and floor meet. It looks endless, maybe it is,
perhaps
this is what complete nothingness looks like.

All
six remaining Astrons stand in what Cole reckons is the middle of the room.
With them standing this close together, Cole notices just how similar there
are. Jahum stands in the middle of them.

Cole
slowly walks forward. This is it, it doesn’t matter if he’s scared or not, this
is where those feelings have to end.

“To
ascend we must destroy. To become a god we must rebuild,” Jahum says. His voice
booms, it echoes throughout the endless room. The Astrons next to him are
silent, they all stare at Cole.

“In
death, there is rebirth, into something better, something that will light the
vastness of space as a radiant beacon.”

“To
ascend, to become a god, we must destroy your psyche and rebuild a superior
one.” Jahum walks toward him.

“We
must dive into your memories, swim through your regrets and pull out what makes
you…you, and mold it into something stronger, into something superior, into a
god. For to ascend is to become one with the universe and one with your
humanity.”

Jahum
starts to walk around Cole in a circle. Cole’s already made up his mind, there
is no turning back now.

“You
will be one with the stars and one with nothing. You must come to terms with
all your fears and regrets. It will be harsh and it will be painful. Once the
process starts, there is no return to your former self, failure or not. You
must finish it.” He stops circling and stares directly into Cole’s eyes.

“If
you fail, your mind will be splattered across the stars and it will take eons
for it to rebuild itself and in some instances you can lose yourself forever
and cease to live.”

Cole
starts to sweat.

It’s
this or nothing
. He keeps telling himself that.

“But
don’t fear the end, Death is never the end, your mind will become one with the
universe once again, but your psyche and conscience will end. In success you
will become one with the stars and stay one with your humanity.”

So
it’s not all bad. If he fails he finally can sleep forever, but once again he
will lose himself. It’s what he’s always wanted but it doesn’t feel right.

“Will
you still continue?” all of the Astrons ask.

“Yes.”
 

“Good,”
Jahum says. The Astrons encircle him. There is a slight humming sound, they all
start to glow blue except for Jahum.

“Forget
everything…”

Jahum
starts to glow blue as well. The Astrons begin to levitate off the ground save
for Jahum. Their third and fourth leg lift up on their backs, where their wings
used to be. They’re changing to angel like figures once again. The Astrons
slowly start to spin around him.

“Forget
everything you were before… Your memories, your regrets, your pleasures, your
fears, your dreams, and your nightmares.” They all speak in unison.

They
spin faster and faster until they’re just a blur on the white nothingness
behind them. Cole tries to keep up but it’s too fast.

He
can’t do this.

“Forget…Regrets…Dreams…Memories…”
They keep repeating it, only faster and disjointed. It gets louder. Their
voices booming inside Cole’s skull.

He’s
scared. He doesn’t want to do this anymore. Cole spins around, trying to keep
his bearings but it’s useless.

His
head aches, he’s scared, he’s alone. Thora hates him. He let his friends die,
his family is gone,
he
can’t even kill himself. Why
did he agree to this, why!? He’s fucking useless, a stain on this earth.

Cole
clasps his head and falls to his knees. Holding his head in a futile attempt to
stop the pain and the rush of thoughts going through it.

He
can see through whirlwind of Astrons. Jahum stands behind the spinning wall. He
doesn’t glow, he doesn’t levitate. He simply raises his hand. A display appears
on the inside of the wall, it looks like an old television screen playing an
ancient home video.

Cole
can concentrate again. He stands and approaches it. It plays a woman giving
birth, his mother. He stretches out a hand and touches it.

His
head is thrown back and his eyes flashes a bright blue light. It all flashes
through him, his birth, his childhood, and how he got here now. All his
memories crash into him.

===

In
a flash, Cole is here in the hospital room. He can’t interact or speak, he can’t
even think, he is just here, in spirit.

A
woman laid on the bed, she’s just gone through labor. Sweat covered her face.
Her chest quickly moved up and down as she panted, recovering from just pushing
a baby out of her.

Her
face was slightly ragged, and dark permanent circles encompassed her eyes.
She’s had them since before her pregnancy.

The
doctor hands her a newborn. She held and caressed him. “Cole, you’re my perfect
little angel,” she said hugging him closely. He looked so innocence and calm. This
bitter world had yet touched him. Tears fell on Cole, his mother had started to
cry.

===

In
a flash, He’s in a kitchen.

His
mother washed the dishes. The kitchen was a dirty rustic place. The floor was
mopped but never really clean and the window looked out at another apartment
building only feet away from it. Their mail was scattered on the floor. Cole’s
mothers tears dripped into the dishwater. She did a bad job of holding them in.

A
toddler Cole stumbled in. He noticed his mama crying. “Mommy, where is daddy?”
he asked in the cutest way possible. She turned around. She had a black eye and
it was recent.

“Daddy’s
gone baby,” she said.

===

Another
flash, another place.

Kid
Cole sat in a class room. He was in the back in a desk. It was Valentine’s Day,
the walls were covered in hearts and love posters.  The kids in the
classroom swirled around the class, they were giving out hearts, letters, and
chocolates to their childhood sweethearts.

The
scene was almost heartwarming, except for Cole, who sat in the back, head on
his desk. Nobody passed him a thing.

Kid
Cole walked down a street with his backpack. He didn’t particularly care that
he didn’t get anything in class. With the way he’d been acting he was expecting
it. He was smelly and mean Cole. There was only one thing that mattered to him
ever since his dad had left.

Two
bullies walked up from behind him.
Not again.
“Hey, Cole, what do you
have for us today?” One of them said. He ignored them, arguing isn’t going to
get anywhere.

“He
didn’t get anything in class.” The other one said.

“Aww,
poor baby didn’t get anything for Valentine’s day.” The first one said. The
bully ripped off Cole’s bag off and pushed him to the ground.

“No,
stop!” Cole yelled. The bullies raided his bag and pulled out a card.

“What’s
this?”

“Aw,
momma’s boy.”

The
second bully kicked him in the gut and Cole fell to the ground.

“Since
you didn’t give us anything today.” The first bully tore it in half and threw
it at him.

“Here,
faggot.”

He
kicked him again and walked off. Cole struggled up and stared at his torn card.

Cole
walked into his mother’s room. She lay in bed, the room was dark with the
blinds closed. He could hear a machine next to her. It beeped every few
seconds, keeping her alive. She looked like she was already dead.

Cole
walked up to her bed side.

“Cole
?...
” she muttered. She tried her hardest to turn and look
him in his face.

“Oh
baby,” she said. She moved her cold bony hands over his face and caressed it.
“What’s wrong with your face?”

“Nothing.”

“Have
thos
—“

“Here!”
he cut her off. He handed her his taped up card. “It’s the best I could do.”

She
struggled as she pushed herself up, her body shook, but she made it. She
wrapped her brittle arms around his body and hugged him.

“You
will always be my perfect little angel. I love you, baby,” she said on the
verge of tears.

===

Cole
flashes back into the room, His eyes are bloodstained and wide open. Tears are
on his face.

“
Nooooo
!”

===

The
world flashes again, it’s only a few years later. Cole remembers this day, the
day he wants to forget.

A
slightly older kid Cole sat in his room, toy airplanes and rocket ships
littered his walls and ceiling. Some day he wanted to be a fighter pilot and to
become a hero like on television. But for now he did his homework at his desk.

A
scream broke his train of thought. He ran out into the hallway. He looked at
the table near the door, a phone is on it. He ran to it and dialed the police.

“Hello,
911,” The dispatcher said. He placed it down when he heard another scream.

It’s
came from his mother’s room. He could hear arguing coming from it as he inched
toward the door.

“What
do you mean you don’t have it?!” a man yelled. The voice is of Cole’s dad.

“I-I
needed it for medical bills,” his mother pleaded. “What is this fucking watch
then?!” Cole’s dad screamed at the top of his lungs.

“It’s
for Cole when he’s older. You left us!!” she said.

“That
was my fucking money, you bitch!”

Something
broke. Then a scream.

“NOO!”

A
single shot rang out, it echoed through the house and Cole.

“Mom!”
Cole yelled as he ran into his mother’s room. The bed was overturned, the only
lamp was broken against the wall.

His
father stood over his mother’s lifeless body splayed out on the floor, her cold
dead eyes staring right at him. She looked like she’d been dead for weeks
thanks to her condition. His father was covered in her blood.

“Shit…Cole,”
he said.

Sirens
wailed outside.

“What
in the hell did you do? How did they get here so fast?!” He’s panicking. He
pointed his gun at Cole, whose gaze never broke from his mother’s dead face.

He
lowered it, even after what he did, he was not able to shoot his own flesh. He
walked forward but stops.

“No,”
Cole said. Cole walked in front of him and stretched his hands out.

The
sirens was getting closer. This is the only point in his life that Cole was
never scared, scared of what would happen to him, or scared for his life. He
just wanted to stop him.

His
father didn’t have time to think. He ran and forced Cole into the wall and ran
out the door. Cole stared at the open door as he lay on the ground. Blood ran
down the gash in his face.

Cole
is in all black in the front row of a church. His mother’s funeral. The rows
were sparsely filled. With her sickness taking up her time she barely had any
friends and didn’t have much family.

A
casket and a picture of his mother sat next to the podium. A priest gave his
sermon on the podium but Cole wasn’t listening.  He held a black box, her
last present to him for when she died.