In Between Dreams (34 page)

“We should play a game,” Bailey said. It took so much of her to stray from the current conversation. She wanted more information; she wanted so much more.

“What?” Sam half laughed.

Daniel’s glare broke, and he smiled at his shoes, his eyes thankful. “I think that is a great idea,” Daniel said, looking at her in relief. “What did you have in mind?”

Bailey pulled a deck of cards out of her bag and tossed it in Daniel’s lap. “Set up a game of poker,” she requested, and stood up. She pointed toward the back of the plane. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

“Texas Hold’em it is,” Daniel said and pulled down a fold-out table. Sam’s eyes met Bailey’s. His eyes asked her if she was okay. He was so good at reading her. She smiled lightly, gave him a short nod, and walked to the airplane bathroom.

She slid open the door, stepped in, and slid it shut behind her. As soon as the door was secured, she put her hand over her mouth and let out a harsh sob that jolted through her body. It hit her in waves, the fact that Rodney was dead.

She felt like she had to take his place. She knew it wasn’t really her job. Halene made the plans, Sam was the translator, and Daniel knew the rest. But who was going to keep Sam and Daniel from attacking each other? And who was going to get on Daniel’s case when he went on his rants? Who was going to make sure Halene handled everything? Who would take care of Bailey?

They’d been doing it without him for a year, but she strangely felt like an orphan. She had always thought he could come back if they needed him.

For now, she would to take over his role. She would be the benevolent parent, taking care of the “kids.” She had decided that was her role, and she was going to stick to it.

With her decisiveness, she felt a little better. The shaking sobs relinquished, and she stood up straight, wiping her face and swallowing her feelings of grief. She wouldn’t be sad anymore. She wouldn’t cry or mourn Rodney. Not right now. She would distract Daniel and Sam. From each other. From their grief. From their denial. She looked into her eyes in the mirror and said in a whisper, “You’ve got this, Bailey.”

Her plan to distract them was an excuse. Her revelation that she was the protector was all a charade. She didn’t realize it consciously, but it was. She checked herself in the mirror again, briefly, to make sure she was presentable before making her way back to her seat.

Daniel knocked on the door of apartment number 526 in a brick building in the Bronx. Bailey’s stomach twisted and turned in anticipation of the door opening. She didn’t know what to expect. She felt Sam’s hand on her lower back, rubbing her softly, but she wanted him to leave. She didn’t want him to cross the threshold of that apartment; she didn’t know why she felt that way. Maybe she wanted to talk to Rodney’s wife alone, but it couldn’t be that. Because she didn’t feel the same way about Daniel, she didn’t mind him being there.

She thought of Sam’s relationship with Rodney, and nothing came to mind. No memory stuck out to her. Sam didn’t have the same admiration and appreciation for Rodney that Bailey had. She hadn’t seen him take a moment to grieve him. It might have been because he was too busy trying to take care of her. Maybe that was why she didn’t want Sam to be there. She wanted to be there with people who cared for him the way she did.

The door opened, a petite red-haired woman in her late seventies answered the door. A bright grin crossed her face at the sight of Daniel. She opened her arms wide to him. He leaned down to hug her.

“Hi, June,” Daniel said warmly.

June radiated kindness. Her hair was combed casually, she wore a plain dress with a silver necklace and had a demeanor and smell of a safe place, like a warm blanket on a cold day. Bailey could feel her
presence almost immediately. She gave off a glow of encouragement, acceptance and happiness.

“It’s been too long,” June said, and broke the hug. She looked at Bailey and waved for her to come there. “Come here, Bailey.”

Bailey let out a giggle and moved toward June, who hugged her tightly. June was so different than Rodney. Light, happy, and a hugger. Rodney was always so serious, always had jokes that he deadpanned here and there. But overall, Rodney wouldn’t be described as bubbly. June, however, was
very
bubbly.

June wrapped her arms around Bailey tightly and squeezed her tightly. “You’ve grown up,” June said, and pulled back, her arms still on Bailey’s shoulders. “Let me look at you.”

Bailey was confused by the gesture: June spoke like she had known Bailey since she was a young girl. June’s smile widened, and she looked behind Bailey, at Sam.

“There’s our little troublemaker,” June squealed.

“Me?” Sam laughed. “Who you been getting your information from?” Sam teased June as she reached to bring him into a tight embrace.

“My angel of a boy right there,” June said, motioning to Daniel.

The way June talked about Daniel, the way she looked at him, it was like he was her son. “Well, everyone come in. I’ll make you some tea and we’ll have a chat.”

She reached for Bailey’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “I’ve got some pictures to show you,” she said as she passed.

Bailey, Sam, and Daniel walked through the foyer into the living room. June passed through the small living room through a door. “I’ll be right back out,” she promised as she left the room.

The room was heavily decorated with knickknacks, especially porcelain angels; many pictures in small frames that fanned out around the room; and sunflower wallpaper. “Rodney had to have hated this,” Bailey whispered to Daniel.

Daniel nodded. Daniel looked casual in the house. Bailey knew that he’d been there before, but it seemed that she underestimated how many times. “He did.” He waved her over to the fireplace. “Come here,” he told her. “You’ve got to see this.”

She walked over to the mantel. There was pictures lining the wall, a painting of a broken down sailboat, pictures of Rodney and June’s wedding. Pictures of June and her sisters. Pictures of Rodney playing golf and fishing. The room full with memories.

Daniel pointed to the large photo in the center of all of the other frames. The picture was from the ’80s. Rodney stood in the middle, holding a baby dressed all in pink, to his right June looked at him sweetly. Bailey’s eyes watered as she saw who stood next to Rodney.

Her father, Max, stood next to Rodney with a half grin on his face. Her mom, Ann, had her head on his shoulder. She wore a large sweater to cover the baby weight she hadn’t lost yet.

“Is that—” Sam started to say.

“Yes, sir,” Bailey heard June say from behind them. “That’s Bailey Mae Regan.” June pointed to the baby in Rodney’s arms.

Bailey turned around swiftly, her hand over her mouth, tears running down her face. “How?” Bailey choked out.

“We’d known your dad for quite a while,” June said with a smile. “Since before he met your mom.”

Bailey brought a swift breath in, her heart aching for a life she felt she was robbed of. She was so angry at her father for keeping this from her and Rodney for not being truthful with her.

“Did my mom know about all of this? About the shadow selves? About me?” Bailey asked, more tears falling down her face.

“No, sweetheart,” June said sincerely. “Your daddy never wanted her to. This was his burden to bear.” June sat a tray of tea on the coffee table and patted the couch cushion for Bailey to sit down. “You’ve had an emotional few days. Why don’t you sit and take a breath?”

Bailey walked over to the couch, flabbergasted at the new information. Sam followed her and sat next to her. Bailey watched June’s eyes as she watched Daniel. As Sam’s hand patted Bailey’s thigh, she watched June make a face of pain. It reminded Bailey of a mother powerlessly watching her child suffer. June put her hand over her heart, and with her other, she reached to pat Daniel’s arm.

“Why don’t you come sit next to me?” June asked, pointing to the other couch that sat in the corner.

“I’m fine, June,” Daniel said gruffly. “I’ll stand.”

“Well, make yourself useful. Get the box outta D—” June stopped herself swiftly. “Rodney’s study.”

Daniel nodded. He turned around and walked through the entryway that led to the rest of the house.

June sat down across from Bailey. “I know this is a lot to take in all at once, Bailey. It’s certainly strange meeting someone you never knew existed, I’m sure.”

“I knew you existed. But I thought you were the wife to a figment of my imagination.” Bailey scoffed at the ridiculousness of it.

“You poor thing,” June murmured sympathetically. She looked at Sam with the same soft, caring eyes. “How are you holding up, Sammy?”

Sam seemed put off by the nickname as it left her lips. “Uh—I’m okay,” he said. “It’s all really surreal. I’m waiting for it to hit me.”

“I know you weren’t as close with my husband, but he really respected you. He always said good things about you. I know he wished you and Danny would get along though.” June smiled warmly. “Maybe one day, huh?”

Sam gave June a half smile. “Yeah…maybe.”

Daniel walked into the room with an old shoe box. “This the one?” he asked June, showing her a box that once held a sturdy pair of men’s dress shoes.

“Yes,” she said with excitement in her voice. She reached out for it. “Bring it to me, dear.”

Daniel set it in her outstretched hands and grabbed a cup of tea from the table, handing it to Sam. Bailey tilted her head at the gesture. Sam didn’t know what to do. He reached up to grab it but didn’t touch it.

“It’s not going to bite you, boy,” Daniel grumbled.

“Be nice, Danny,” June scolded in a motherly tone.

Bailey raised her eyebrow at Daniel as his face changed, and he mumbled a soft apology. Everything was so backward. Daniel acted out of character. He tried to act like a gentleman.

Bailey looked at the wall of pictures again. Next to the picture of her family was another picture of someone she knew. She should have seen it before. She stood up immediately and walked to the picture. She picked it up, adrenaline filling her veins.

The picture was of a boy, not older than five or six, on a fishing boat with Rodney. Rodney laughed, and the boy looked up at him with wide eyes, a boy admiring his father.

“Daniel,” she said, turning around slowly.

“I told you to take those down, June,” Daniel said under his breath.

“What is this?”

“What is what?” Sam asked, feeling oblivious and frustrated.

“Daniel,” Bailey said, ignoring Sam. Her teeth clenched from distrust and frustration. How many secrets could these people have kept from her? “What the hell is this?”

“That’s Rodney and his son,” June said softly.

“His son?” Sam asked. “Not your son?”

“Rodney had a child with a woman he met a couple years before me,” June explained sweetly. “But I love that boy as my own.” June’s eyes met Daniel as she said those words.

“Daniel,” Bailey said, her voice growing stronger. “Is Rodney your father?”

“What?” Sam shouted, and stood up simultaneously.

After Sam’s initial reaction, the room went silent. All that could be heard was Bailey’s intense breathing. Daniel kept his eyes on the floor. Bailey felt angrier by the second. Betrayed. Her jaw shook in pure, unadulterated defeat. How much didn’t she know? How much more was there to this?

A sickening thought crossed her mind. Rodney had known her dad “long before he met her mom.” Rodney couldn’t be her grandfather… could he? Daniel and her father couldn’t be brothers. Right? Her mind was going in every direction, and she felt sick to her stomach. No, Daniel wouldn’t have kissed her if that was the case.

“Someone needs to say something,” Bailey said, determination in her voice. “Before I lose my mind. I’m starting to feel like I don’t know anything.”

“Yes,” Daniel whispered, his head still down. “Rodney is my biological dad. I wasn’t raised by him, but yes, he is my father.” Bailey couldn’t read Daniel’s reaction. He said it so matter-of-factly.

Bailey had tears in her eyes as she looked at June. “How did my dad know Rodney? I need to know.”

“We met Max when he was in college,” June said, softly. “We knew he was special right away.”

Sam stood, realizing this conversation didn’t concern him. “I’m going to go—” he said to Bailey. “I’ll—uh—meet you at the hotel.”

Sam exited and June stood. “Why don’t you sit down, Bailey?”

“I’m fine standing,” she snapped. She didn’t want to take it out on June. It wasn’t her fault, but Rodney wasn’t there to receive her anger. June didn’t lie to her. Bailey could already picture late-night talks between June and Rodney, Rodney telling her,
“No, I haven’t told Bailey yet.”

June probably rebutted with a thousand reasons why he should, and the conversation most likely ended in constant disagreement.

“Bales,” Daniel pleaded, walking toward her.

“No,” Bailey shot back. Rodney wasn’t there, but the other liar was. “You don’t get to call me ‘Bales.’ You get to be quiet.”

Daniel shook his head in frustration. “Way to fuckin’ go, June,” he mumbled in frustration.

“Danny,” June said sternly. “Go into Dad’s study.”

“But—”

“No buts, Danny. Go. I need to talk to Bailey alone.”

Bailey watched as Daniel stalked out of the room. He was a grown man acting like a scolded child. Though he often did act childish, it didn’t come as a surprise.

“Bailey,” June said softly, comfortingly. “Sit, please.”

Bailey couldn’t be angry at June, she knew that. She walked to the couch and sat down slowly. She set the picture that was still in her hand on the table in front of her.

“How far back do you want me to go, Bailey?”

“The beginning,” Bailey stated confidently. “I need to know everything.”

“It’s not my place to tell you everything,” June said, her voice calming and sweet.

“Then whose place is it?” Bailey whispered, a tear falling down her face.

June smiled as a grandmother would at a grandchild. She knew she had to help Bailey understand her new reality. June took a deep breath, patted Bailey’s hand gently, and slid closely to her, leaning into her personal space.