In Blood and Worth Loving 3 Kiss Cover (12 page)

So do I.
Or was that did?
“
If you have an opportunity, please tell him that I hope he finds what he
’
s looking for with the fem of his choice and ask him to please allow me to pursue another relationship without fear of how he
’
ll respond.
”
And tell him that I
’
ll miss the full-blood I fell in love with every second of every miserable minute for a very long time.

Conner gave the full-blood seated across his terrace a cool stare.
“
You
’
re rescinding my invitation to Max
’
s party?
”

Sin-Bad Stoner shook his head.
“
Not me. Chandra
’
s conditionally rescinding it.
”

The Stoners
’
obvious deference to Sin-Bad
’
s human wife annoyed him. Human women were bad news, yet more and more full-bloods were falling under their insidious spell. Hell, he
’
d been a breath away from a similar fate with Desiree.

“
And you and Max agree with her, of course,
”
he said dryly.

Sin-Bad smiled and arched a brow.
“
Of course. She wanted me to remind you that she
’
s very fond of you but this is a bad time for Desi and she needs all her friends.
”

“
And I don
’
t?
”

Sin-Bad shrugged.
“
Let
’
s face it, Conner, the situation is of your choosing, not hers. So naturally Chandra
’
s inclined to lean a little to her side.
”

As a new vampire, Sin-Bad
’
s actions had resulted in the death of the only woman he
’
d ever loved before he met Chandra. He shook his head.
“
Of my choosing? I would have thought that you of all people would understand why I had to keep a certain sexual and emotional distance from her.
”

Sin-Bad sighed.
“
I understand
all too well
, Conner, but you
’
re still the one in the driver
’
s seat.
”

“
You can say that when Chandra clearly not only heavily influences your decisions, but your brothers as well? Do you think it was any different for me with Desiree?
”

“
Clearly so since you
’
ve managed to drag the shit between you two out far longer than any sane full-blood would have. Get with the damned program, Conner, and admit you
’
re as vulnerable and as in need of being needed by a human woman as the rest of us. Admit she
’
s the one and deal with it.
”

“
I could easily have killed her had I taken your advice.
”

“
Oh no. Like me, you
’
ve learned the hard way that if you do permanent damage to a woman you need to be happy, it may take hundreds of years before you meet someone capable of filling the emotional void her death leaves.
”

“I wasn’t in love with Jane.”

“Maybe not, but you haven’t been emotionally happy since her death.”

Since he couldn’t argue with the truth, he remained silent.

“Granted you probably hurt Desi,
but you would not have killed her.
”

“I’m not so sure about that.”

“I am. You were there alone with her. She’s not dead. Case closed.”

He shrugged.
“
Same difference. She
’
s now afraid of me and wants me out of her life.
”

“
So I hear but if you vamp up and apologize, she might reconsider.
”

I didn
’
t know you hated me and wanted to destroy me, Conner!
“
Nothing I say or do now will matter to her. I blew it.
”

“
You damn sure fucked up, but that doesn
’
t mean she won
’
t forgive you with a little incentive. Sincere apologies work wonders with humans. Tell her you
’
re sorry.
”

Swallow his pride and allow her to wrap him around her finger? Hell no.
“
What
’
s Chandra
’
s condition?
”

Sin–Bad shook his head. “You’re going to go on being a hard ass until it’s too late?”

“What’s her condition?”

“
That you behave yourself. Her words, not mine.
”

“
By that she means?
”

“
That you don
’
t do any more damage to Desi.
”

As if he would.

“
So? Will we see you tonight?
”

“
You
’
ll know when if you see me, you wuss!
”

Sin-Bad laughed and rose.
“
If you stop being a dickhead, you
’
ll have an opportunity to be a wuss with Desi instead of running the risk of losing her to some other ass.
”
He crossed the terrace to place his hand on Conner
’
s shoulder.
“
There are any number of full-bloods who
’
d love a chance to hurt her because they can or to get back at you for real or imagined past wrongs. You know
some
full-bloods
have
nothing but time and more time on
their
hands and
are
absolute connoisseurs at being easily offended. Some such idle full-bloods will probably attend the party. She
’
ll be a prime target for them. If that
’
s not what you want, do what you need to do to start to make things right with her.
”

“If she wants to–“

“Don’t give me any shit about not caring what she does. We both know you do, so save the bullshit for someone else. I’ll either see you tonight or I won’t, dickhead.” He turned and left.

Le
ft
alone, Conner closed his eyes.
Even if he couldn’t admit it to anyone else, the
fear that he’d damaged
his relationship with Desi
beyond repair
filled him with despair
.

* * *

Standing alone
on a corner of the terrace trying to block out the festive sounds of the party raging behind her, Desiree struggled to keep despair at bay. Despite the dictates of common sense, she had arrived at the Stoner family mansion hours earlier half-hoping to see Conner.

In spite of the assurance of those closest to him, he clearly did not consider her his blood and had probably dismissed her from his thoughts. As Brandi had warned, she
’
d either have to get used to the idea of seeing him at social functions with a fem or cut off ties with Cayenne and Jay. Lord, what a choice to have to make.

Damn him!

“
There you are.
”

Forcing thoughts of Conner from her mind, she turned to face the man who stood behind her on the moonlit terrace. Kristopher Macarik was a gorgeous hunk with long dark hair. The product of a Native American mother and an Irish American father, he possessed beautiful green eyes and the mystique of a Native American male.

Over the course of several months, they had often accompanied each other to social functions. Although she found him extremely attractive and he was always generous in his praise of her, by mutual consent, there were no benefits attached to their friendship.

Her hopeless fascination with Conner had pre
c
luded viewing Macarik as anything other than a friend. For his part, Macarik was clearly in love with Shanise Arnold, who Desi had only met twice. She seemed to care for him too. Yet, for reasons known only to the two of them, both Macarik and the woman in question dated other people. Just as Desiree had decided it was time for her to do.

“
Desi?
”

She blinked.
“
I
’
m sorry. What did you say?
”

He crossed the terrace to take her hand in his.
“
Would you like to dance?
”

A star filled sky and a moonlit night were made for slow dancing in the arms of a sexy male. Unfortunately, the only male she wanted to slow dance with was probably fucking some lucky but undeserving fem.
Why her and not me, Conner? Why did you continually refuse to give me a chance to show you why both your brothers forsook fems and are now happily married to human women?

“
Not really,
”
she admitted.

“
Thoughts still with Conner?
”
he asked.

She shook her head.
“
I
’
m sorry to be so hopeless. Why do you put up with me?
”

“
It
’
s a two-way street, honey. We put up with each other.
”
He squeezed her hand.
“
Now are you sure I can
’
t tempt you into slow dancing with me? We can commiserate with each other about the one who appears to be getting away from each of us.
”

She curled her fingers in the dark jacket he wore. Despite their friendship, she knew he would rebuff all the efforts to discuss his relationship with Shanise.
“
Oh Kristopher, Shanise is a great girl. Don
’
t let her get away from you.
”

He brushed the back of his hand along her cheek.
“
I could say the same thing about Conner.
”

Except that even before Conner had burned his bridges with her, he
’
d made it abundantly clear that he had no intentions of allowing his and Desiree
’
s relationship to
evolve to the level of
intima
cy she desired
.
As far as their so–called friendship went, s
he
’
d been there and done that and now knew
it would never
work for her.

“
As you know, he hasn
’
t left me much choice in the ma
tt
er and the last time we saw each other, he was less than lover like.
”

“
I
’
m sure that was terrifying for you, Desi, but you must know he regrets what happened.
”

Lord, would the apologies from those close to Conner never cease? The fact that he himself hadn
’
t made a single attempt to mitigate the damage he
’
d done to their relationship hurt like hell.
“
Actually, I don
’
t know that.
”

“
Don
’
t you, Desi? Really? You can say that after spending a year with him? Now, I know how crazy they can get. I got an unwanted dose of
the reality of having a full-blood for a friend
from Jay when he was falling into blood with Cay
.”

“Imagine getting it from a lover instead of a friend and it’s even worse.”

“I’m sure it is
, but surely one mistake, albeit, a scary one, can
’
t cancel out everything you
’
ve meant to each other.
”

“
I haven
’
t meant a damned thing to him.
”

He lifted her hand to his lips.
“
It
’
s not my place to discuss his feelings, but maybe it
’
s too early in the game to write him off as a lost cause or as someone unworthy of a second chance.
”

Perhaps if he
’
d shown any inclination of wanting a second chan
c
e, she would have been inclined to oblige. Instead, he
’
d kept away from her while allowing everyone and their mother to apologize for him.
“
I
’
ve already wasted far too much time pursuing him. It
’
s time for me to broaden my horizons.
”

“
Be careful, honey.
”

“
What do you mean?
”

“
Surely you know he
’
s not going to be pleased with your decision to date other men.
”

She shrugged.
“
We
’
re not dating or in a relationship. So he has no standing to object to anything I do.
”

“
I don
’
t think that will stop him from objecting. Before you start seeing other men, talk to Adrian.
”

She knew from past experience that any conversation with Adrian would end with him reminding her that Conner was going through a difficult time; as if she herself was cruising along unfazed. Adrian would then implore her to bear with him. She shook her.
“
I don
’
t owe Conner any more consideration than he
’
s given me or my feelings.
”

“
You must know he cares for you, Desi.
”

Although he
’
d often said he did and frequently bought her expensive presents, he had battered her heart and emotions for the last time.
“
His b
rand
of caring no longer works for me. Talking to Adrian isn
’
t going to change my mind.
”

Macarik sighed.
“
Even so, please talk to him.
”

Noting the worried look in his green eyes, she softened.
“
I
’
ll think about it.
”
She smiled.
“
Too bad you
’
re already spoken for, handsome.
”

Although he smiled she knew he was still worried.
“
Shanise owns my heart lock stock and barrel.
”

“
Lucky wench. Had I been able to invoke half the passion in Conner that I hear in your voice, we might have had a future together.
”

“
Be careful what you wish for, honey. A full
-
blood with such feelings can be very dangerous.
”

She pushed painful thoughts of their last meeting from her thoughts.
“
I know.
”
She met his gaze.
“
What about you? Are you all right? You look tired.
”

“
I am.
”

“
Things not going well with Shanise?
”

“
No.
”

“
Wa
n
t to talk about it?
”

“
No.
”

“
If you ever do, I
’
m a good listener.
”

He nodded.
“
I know. Thanks. Look, I
’
m calling it a night and taking my ass home. Can I give you a lift?
”

She shook her head.
“
Thanks but I drove. Drive safely, Macarik and have a good night.
”

He briefly glanced over his shoulder into the dimly lit living room filled with dancing couples before he met her gaze.
“
I
’
d rather not leave you here alone with a bunch of horny vampires,
”
he said.

Sin-Bad
’
s brother, Max was a bad boy vamp known for wild parties. Like the Redwolfes, he was one of a trio of vampire brothers. She
’
d had enough social interaction with Chandra Stoner and the three male Stoners to feel certain she
’
d be safe there.
“
I
’
ll be fine.
”

“
Maybe I
’
ll hang around a little longer.
”

“
That
’
s not necessary. She
’
ll be safe here.
”

Glancing pass Macarik, Desiree saw a tall muscular male with blue eyes and short dark hair. Sin-Bad Stoner, the elder of the brothers, walked across the terrace to face Macarik.
“
You have my word.
”

Clearly relieved to have the assurance, Macarik turned to face her again.
“
Please consider not doing anything until you talk to Adrian. Good night, honey.
”

She kissed his cheek and watched him walk away in silence.

Sin-Bad turned to look at her.
“
You are, of course, a welcome and valued guest, but are you sure you want to stay? There are a few men here who would like nothing better than to wrest you away from Conner.
”

She knew he referred to other vampires. Since meeting the Redwolfes, Desiree couldn
’
t deny the idea of a relationship with a sexy powerful man who hungered for her body and her blood excited her. Unfortunately, none of the vamps she
’
d met during the previous year had shown any interest or inclination to bed or fe
e
d on her. They had that in common with Conner.

“
That shouldn
’
t be too difficult considering we
’
re not even friends now.
”

He shook his head.
“
I have the feeling Conner wouldn
’
t quite agree.
”

“
He should. We
’
re playing by his rules. We both know he
’
s probably doing what he
’
s been doing since we met
;
screwing an endless succession of fems. I don
’
t owe him any more allegiance than he owes me.
”

He narrowed his gaze.
“
You are, of course, free to make whatever decision you think best. You should remember there are risks attached to toying with a full
-
blood.
”

Of course he would take Conner
’
s side. She compressed her lips, annoyed by his choice of words.
“
Any toying going on between Conner and I is of his choosing. I wanted a serious, monogamous relationship with him. He had other ideas.
”