In Her Dreams (2 page)

Next day, I was sipping a hot cup of coffee at my work desk. The day before had gone in a blur. Everything around me seemed hazy and I simply could not concentrate on anything, let alone the article I had to submit today. It had something to do with US Economic Crisis, I believe. 

I had to get Jayson out of my head before I could focus on the vast research material I had collected on the US Economy. I don’t know why, but the more I distracted myself from thinking about him, the more he ended up being on my mind. He was inside my head, dominating my thoughts. I could clearly picture his strong muscles, his perfect abs and his tanned skin. I could not stop myself. I had to get him out of my system.

So, I did the only logical thing I could think of. I went to Amanda’s cabin and swore her to secrecy. After she ruefully made a pinkie promise, I blabbed everything – Right from how I felt in class to my raunchy thoughts and lust for Jayson. She was listening with a sly smile on her face and nodding patiently.

“So, Ams, I am a mess, Help me. What should I do?” I asked finally, after finishing my story.

“Well, what do you want to do? I would say, the best way to get Jayson out of your system, is to get him in your system.” She said.

“Huh? What are you saying, girl? I am confused.”

“Get Jayson to sleep with you! That’s it! Once you do that, you can get him out of your system once and for all. Get back to your boring, mundane life. Easy.” Ams told me very matter-of-factly.

I was shocked. My best friend suggested I cheat on my husband. Never! “No way Ams. I can’t cheat on Mark, you know that. No matter how much I lust for Jayson, I have to bury my feelings. I love Mark. I cannot imagine what would happen if he finds out. Even if he doesn’t, how do I live with the guilt? Heck! I am guilty, just thinking about another man.”

“It’s your call love. This is my secret for getting over someone. Try it, it will work. Else keep dwelling on Jayson and it can ruin your work, life, marriage. Think about it”.

Amanda was smart. I always followed her advice but this time I had my doubts. My heart wanted to, but my head was in the right place. Thank God.

I just kept telling myself I had to get over Jayson and that’s it.

And then, as night fell, I was blissfully dreaming again. I was cuddled in Jayson’s arms, rubbing against his hot body and moaning softly as he slid his fingers inside me....

I started dressing up for the gym. I thought these other chicks were superficial when I saw them smacking makeup on their faces, or wearing hot pants and short tennis skirts for workouts. When I looked at myself in the locker mirror that day, I felt just as superficial.

I wore a tight white tee. It showed off my well maintained body and all the right curves. It was thin enough to become translucent after I would sweat a bit. I also wore my favourite chocolate flavoured lip gloss and my cool new navy blue shorts. I wasn’t dressing up for a workout; I was dressing up for Jayson.

Suddenly, reality hit me – I wanted Jayson to notice me. I wanted him to want me as much as I yearned for his touch. I didn’t want to be, just another girl in his class. I wanted to stand out from the crowd and most of all, I wanted him to undress me with his eyes.

I never did anything to get guys in school or even in college. I had a good body but I never really flaunted it or tried too hard. I was good friends with guys around me and relationships came effortlessly to me. I never had a school girl crush as I was always dating the hottest guys around.

“What a time in life to have a school girl crush”, I muttered to myself and sighed at the irony of it all.

         As soon as I entered his class, my gaze fell on him. He looked back and smiled. After flaunting his million dollar smile and inevitably making me feel weak in my knees, he quickly looked away and started the class.

Just a smile? He didn’t even look at me. Didn’t he notice I made an effort? I wasn’t expecting his jaw to drop but I did expect a lingering stare, at the least.

The stars were not in my favour that day. He kept talking to other girls in the class and laughed at their silly pretences. I was his best student and I knew it. I was good with my kicks and punches and he never appreciated me. All I wanted was to be noticed. I had just about had it with him and wanted to just storm out of the class. When it happened....

              He touched me.

 I was taken aback when he gently moved my waist in order to give my punch more force. I was instantly red cheeked and I felt like I had a heater between my thighs. I felt the burning sensation right up to my face and I turned away quickly, so that no one else would notice my flustered look.

Suddenly, I was so weak in the knees that I could barely stand straight, let alone throw a sucker punch. I told Jayson I had to step out of the class for a while as I was feeling dizzy. I wanted to get outside for some fresh air before I collapsed and made a fool of myself.

Once outside the class, I started moving towards the locker room when I heard a deep voice call my name.

“Jane, Are you Ok!”

It was Jayson. I turned and almost bumped into him. He was right behind me. His blue green eyes full of genuine concern.

I didn’t know what to think or say. I was numb. I didn’t even realize that Jayson knew my name. He never called on me in class. Heck, he never even looked my way. I was shocked to see him concerned for me. I noticed everyone was going home as he had ended the class early. For me? I thought I would faint again.

“Yeah, I am okay. Just a bit dizzy, that’s all.” I replied, when I finally found my voice. Thank god, my vocal chords were still working, I was under the impression I won’t be able to utter a single word. “Where is everyone going, it’s only 815, still 15 minutes before the class finishes.”

“Well, I wanted to see if you are doing ok.” He smiled again and I thought my heart would melt.

Was I dreaming again? I had to pinch myself. Yikes! I wasn’t.

Okay, so what was going on here? I tried to make sense of it all.

“I also wanted to tell you how great you are doing in class. I have to admit you are one of my best students. You are in good shape too. Keep it up. See you in class tomorrow. Take care of yourself.” He waved and walked away, leaving me standing there, gaping. 

I never thought I could be at a loss of words. I was the chatter box types. Someone who would always have something to say – No matter what the topic of discussion is. But, at that very minute, I was absolutely speechless.

Instinctively, I called up Amanda.

“Ams, something happened today. It’s a bit strange. So, today in class........” I went on and on, nonstop till I was sure I had given her every little detail and then, I waited for her response.

“Babes, this guy has the hots for you!”

“Are you kidding me, Ams. You have seen Jayson, right? He’s the most handsome guy I have ever laid eyes on and trust me, I have seen many. How can he be into me? Also, as you know, he’s 10 years younger to me.”

“Yes! I know. I also know that you have a body of a 20 year old and with your dress code today, you must have turned a lot of heads. Including, Jayson’s. So I am telling ya, he’s so hot for you. If you don’t believe me, wait and watch. He will make a move.”

I was thrilled to hear that. My dream guy and the hottest being on this planet had a thing for me? I was so excited, I could scream. At that point, I was not a wife or a mother. I was just a girl looking for some adventure. I was excited and turned on. I wanted him to make his move, fast. I could hardly wait for him to be inside me. I could picture it now.

I had to rush to my bed and indulge in my fantasies. I hurried back home and scurried to my bed.

 The next day, I was happy and chirpy. Felt good to have a young hot guy notice you, when you have 2 kids and a monotonous life. That’s all it takes to make your life interesting. 

I had to be careful, though. This had to be just a fantasy; I could easily fall for those blue green eyes and taught body. That thought was scary and exhilarating – both, at the same time.

On the other hand, things with Mark weren’t going well at all. Mark noticed my unusual behaviour and he was worried about me. He could see I kept my distance off late. We didn’t make love since that last wild encounter and I slept early the whole week. That wasn’t helping either.

All I knew was that I wanted Jayson. Maybe Ams was right.. Maybe I had to have him once to get him out of my system once and for all. I had to consider the possibility. Keeping a low profile was not helping me. I had to do this –for myself, Mark, kids, our marriage, my life.

 I had finally convinced myself that I was a good person if I slept with Jayson and I was ruining my life if I didn’t do it. Its funny how the brain works at times – You end up doing what you want to do and you somehow convince yourself that you are doing it for the good of the world. So even if you are doing something totally wrong, in your mind, you are a hero!

That day after work, I took a quick shower. I wanted to reach gym early in order to chat up with Jayson before class. I was hoping I would get to talk to him alone; usually he was thronged by girls.

I wore skimpy work out shorts and smart blue sports bra. I didn’t bother to put a tee on. I was working out hard and I wanted to make sure Jayson would notice that. I flaunted my tanned long legs and abs to the fullest. I wanted to make a lasting impression.

It seemed I did. As soon as I walked into class, Jayson moved away from his fan following and walked towards me. He smiled and said hello. My tongue was caught in my throat again and I managed to wave and nod.

I scolded myself when I realized I was blushing as he held my hand and asked if I was doing OK. He was still worried about what happened yesterday. This time I found my voice and managed to tell him I was doing fine.

I decided it was now or never. I had him to myself and I had to make a move. If Ams were right, he was already interested. All I had to do was ask. I was gathering my courage when I noticed him take a step closer to me. He was right next to me – He was so close – His lips were barely a few inches from mine – His body was close and his hands were on my waist. I could’ve taken him right then and there. I didn’t care if people were watching, I wanted him so bad. He came up even closer, if that was even possible and whispered in my ear, “Jane, you look stunning. Let’s go out sometime.”

He left me staring at him. Did Jayson just ask me out? I was standing there in a state of trance for a few seconds before I realized he was waiting for an answer. As if!!

“Yes”. That’s all I could manage to say.

“How about after class tomorrow, at the cool new Salsa club – Escencia?” He asked. I quickly nodded my approval.

I wasn’t bad with my feet. I had taken a few Salsa lessons after college and I was sure I could sizzle on the dance floor. And, when was the last time Mark took me dancing? I couldn’t even remember – Never!? 

Jayson smiled and left my side as the class started.

Today’s class was turning out to be the best one ever. We started with the usual push ups. He knelt down beside me and grinned. His eyes were all over me. It seemed he was happy with what he saw. His appreciative glance lingered all over me and stuck at my chest. My sports bra was showing off my perfect 34 D cup size very well indeed, especially at that angle. I was wet just feeling his eyes on me. I could just burst if he used his hands.. Or better still his tongue. He was undressing me with his eyes – I could see it and I loved every bit of it.

This had to be the best day of my life. I was high on life and excited about my first date in a decade. All I could think of was what to wear and how to woo this guy with my sex appeal. The way he looked at me, I knew I didn’t have to make an effort but I wanted to.