In Her Eyes (17 page)

“Charlie went to the doctor and the doctor put a cast on his leg and told Charlie he would be just fine in a few months.

“Days went by, and weeks went by, and finally three months had passed and it was time for Charlie to get his cast taken off. So, he went to the doctor and the doctor took off his cast and said, ‘Your leg is as good as new.’

“Charlie reached down and felt his leg and it felt kind of funny. He looked up at the doctor and asked, ‘Will I be able to run just as fast as before?’

“The doctor looked at him with a great big smile and whispered in his ear, ‘you will be even faster.’

“Now once a year there is a championship race between all the fastest boys in the world. Charlie began to practice for this race by running every day, but…he was still scared that if he tried to run really fast, he might break his leg again.

“The day of the big race came. It would be Charlie’s first race since he broke his leg. All the fastest kids in the world were there, and Charlie had always been the fastest. Today was different though, because for the first time in his life Charlie doubted himself. Was he really the fastest still?”

Ben looked down at Emma, who was already sound asleep. He watched the steady rise and fall of her little chest, and wondered if she was dreaming about Charlie. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it up just a little higher, remembering just how much he missed this.

Then he reached over and quietly pulled the small brass chain on the lamp. The room went dark, except for the soft moonlight that crept in through the blinds.

He quietly got to his feet and walked backwards towards the door, making sure Emma didn’t wake up. When he reached the hallway, he saw Casey sitting on the hallway floor with her back against the ground and her knees tucked to her chest.

Ben knelt down onto the cream colored plush carpet. It almost felt like grass when he pressed his hands against it and sat leaning against the wall next to Casey.

“Was he really the fastest still?” Casey asked.

Ben smiled and picked up the story where he left off. “All the kids began to gather around the starting line. Some were stretching, and others were talking, but Charlie was pacing nervously on the infield grass.

“He looked around and noticed some of the kids were pointing at him and whispering things. That’s when he heard an unfamiliar crunch under his foot. He bent down and picked up a pair of glasses and brushed them off against his shorts. They were bent, but they weren’t broken. He looked around to see who may have dropped them and that’s when he saw her.

“She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, and for a moment all the world seemed to stop. He tried to pull his eyes away from her, but he couldn’t. His world began to slowly spin as the girl moved towards him. His heart started racing like he was rounding the final turn of the race. And yet this girl seemed to be perfectly calm.

“‘Thank you’ the girl said. Charlie heard her, but he couldn’t respond. His world was still suspended from all motion, except for the incessant beating of his heart.

“The girl spoke again, but he couldn’t hear anything but the bright blue sound that was coming from her eyes. And as he ran that day, that’s all he thought about.”

Casey closed her eyes and leaned against his shoulder and thought all over again about the first day they met.

* * *

A few minutes later and Ben followed Casey into the kitchen. He sat down at one of the countertop stools as she walked over to the pantry. “So, you never told me how final exams went.”

“Right now I’m just glad they’re over.”

Casey opened up a cabinet and pulled out an electric tea kettle. She poured about two cups of tap water in, sat it on the counter and plugged it in. “I’m going to make a cup of mint tea. Do you want some?”

“Sure.”

Casey leaned down resting her elbows on the counter across from Ben. “So, what are you going to do now that classes are over?”

“Coach has us on the same practice schedule until regionals in couple weeks. But…now that I’m going to have a little more free time I was thinking about hanging out with this one girl I kind of have a thing for.”

“Oh really?” Casey said.

Ben got up and walked slowly around the bar counter towards Casey. “Yeah, she’s a doctor. She’s really smart, and fun, and has this absolutely gorgeous smile.”

Casey turned around, her body leaning back against the counter as Ben moved closer to her. “She sounds pretty great. What did you plan to do with this girl with all this extra free time?”

Ben lowered his hands down to her waist and lifted Casey gently on top of the counter. He stepped close to her and she wrapped her bare feet around the backs of his legs. “There’s a lot I want to do with this girl,” he said. He brushed aside several strands of hair on her shoulder and leaned in pressing his lips softly against her check. “I thought I could take her to dinner one night.” He ran his hands over her shoulders. “And take her to a movie.”

“Mmm. I bet she would like that,” Casey said. “What else?”

Ben ran his fingers over the back of her neck as his thumb cupped her face just in front of her ear.

Casey bent her neck back slightly looking up at him only inches away.

Ben leaned forward and kissed her. “I was thinking about taking her to get some ice cream.” He kissed her again, but this time for a little longer. “Maybe go putt-putt golf,” he said smiling. “Maybe just have a few lazy Sunday afternoons on the couch with her.”

He started to speak again, but this time Casey stopped him. She tugged the bottom of his shirt pulling him back to her. His lips parted and she felt the warmth of his tongue against hers. Her legs tightened even more around his waist and his hands moved under her thighs lifting her off the counter. He started to carry her towards her bedroom, their lips never parting.

But just as he got to her door the tea kettle began to scream.

41

Rhythm

May 10, 2015

“Can we go play now?” Emma asked.

“Finish your vegetables first,” Casey said.

Emma scooped up a spoonful of Lima beans and shoved them into her mouth and smiled.

Ben laughed and Casey shot him a playfully scolding look.

This had turned into an everyday occurrence for them over the past week. After work Casey would pick up Emma from daycare and find Ben waiting on her doorstop with a smile. Once he even picked her up when Casey got stuck at the hospital, and when she got home that night he had a warm plate of fried pork chops and mashed potatoes waiting.

Casey got up from the table, walked over to the hall closet and came back with two board games in her hand. “Okay, we’ve got Operation and Mouse Trap.”

“Can we play doctor instead?”

“You don’t want to play Operation,” Casey asked again.

Emma shook her head.

Ben winked at Casey, “I’m always down to play doctor.”

“Alright,” Casey said. “But just remember you asked for it.”

Ben cleared the table, while Casey cleaned the dishes, and Emma started preparing the “hospital,” which was essentially the couch with a blanket spread out and a pillow on one end.

When they finished they found Emma sitting in a chair by the couch. “Okay, Mr. Ben is the patient. You’re the doctor,” Emma said pointing to Casey. “And I’m the nurse.”

“How do we play?” Ben asked.

Emma tapped on the couch. “You lie down here, and we fix you.”

Casey looked at Ben. “We might be here all night,” she joked.

Ben winked at Casey again. “That’s fine. I can go all night.”

Casey looked down at Emma who was shuffling through a homemade first aid kit that contained mostly Band-Aids, gauze, and hair ties. Luckily she was completely oblivious to Ben’s comment.
Stooopp,
Casey mouthed.

Ben grinned and pinched Casey’s leg.

Emma pulled out a couple Band-Aids, a pink hair tie, and a roll of gauze. “Okay, I will fix his hand and head wounds. You have to check his chest and legs. Do you have your skesosope?”

“Steth-o-scope,” Casey corrected. “And where is the one I gave you?”

Emma opened up her little black bag. “I forgot I even put it in here.” She pulled out the black and silver stethoscope and handed it to Casey. Then she grabbed Ben’s hand and began wrapping the hair tie around two of his fingers. “Your fingers are broken, so we’ve got to make a splint.” 

Ben looked down at his fingers. “That’s a very pretty splint. My fingers already feel better.”

“No, you can’t move,” Emma said. “Not until you’re all better.”

“Yeah, you can’t move,” Casey teased.

She peeled the plastic off two Band-Aids and stuck one on each cheek. “Okay, now I’m going to fix your head wound with this.” Emma unrolled a piece of gauze and held it out in front of her. “You have to be very, very, still.”

“I won’t move a muscle,” Ben said.

Emma proceeded to wrap the gauze from his chin, around the side of his face, and over his head and then tied it in a knot. She looked back at Casey who was still sitting on the edge of the bed next to Ben. “Did you check his chest and legs yet?”

With the stethoscope sitting around her neck Casey started to move the flat chest piece over his chest.

“No, Mom. You have to put the things in your ears and do it for real.”

Casey lifted the hollow metal tubes and placed the earpieces in her ears. She moved the chest piece over his body as she’d done a thousand times.
All people enjoy the mall,
she thought. It was a mnemonic she learned in medical school about the cardiac auscultation locations: aortic, pulmonic, Erb’s point, tricuspid, mitral.

The first sound occurs when the mitral valve and the tricuspid valve close. The second sound occurs when the aortic valve and the pulmonary valve close after the blood leaves your heart. Ultimately a healthy heart has a regular rhythm and makes a lub-dub sound each time it beats. What she heard wasn’t a regular rhythm.

Casey moved the chest piece around several more times and then let the stethoscope hang freely while she checked his pulse. Arrhythmia is best determined with an EKG or EPS, but sometimes checking the regularity of a pulse can also help.

She held his wrist firmly for a count of fifteen, but this time she didn’t feel any irregularity. Maybe her mind was just playing tricks on her?

“So, am I good to go, Doc?” Ben asked.

Casey looked over at Emma. “What do you think Miss Nurse? Is he all better now?”

“You will need lots of fluid and rest,” Emma said. “But you are all better.”

Ben held out his hand and Emma shook it. “Thank you so much. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“Alright. Now it’s time to get ready for bed. Clean up and I’ll come back in here in a bit.”

“But, Mom…”

Casey shot Emma a quick look and she acquiesced. 

“Okay…”

* * *

After Emma was asleep, Casey started cleaning the kitchen again.

He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She stopped cleaning for a moment, but didn’t respond to several soft kisses on her shoulder.

“Is something on your mind?” Ben asked.

Casey turned around to face him, her lower back and hands pressed against the counter while Ben’s hands moved up to her shoulders. “Can I ask you a question without you getting offended?”

Ben smiled. “That’s not usually the start of a good conversation.”

“Do you know what Erythropoietin is?”

“EPO? Yeah, why?”

She swallowed back a small block of fear. “Have you ever taken it?”

“Yeah, I mean, who doesn’t blood dope these days?”

Her face went completely flush and she straightened up, pushing him back a little. “Ben, I’m serious. Do you?”

“No, of course I don’t do EPO. Why would you even ask that?”

Casey looked down at the sink where a Lima bean was smashed against the sidewall.

“Casey?”

“Your heart,” she said.

“What about it?”

“Earlier when we were playing I thought I heard an arrhythmia and it just kind of scared me. But then I checked your pulse and couldn’t feel anything, so it was probably nothing.”

Two small tears started at the corner of her eyes and ran slowly down the sides of her face.

Ben wiped away each tear with the edge of his thumbs. “Come here,” he said, pulling her towards him. He wrapped his arms around her as she buried her face in his chest.

She knew she liked Ben a lot, but she hadn’t realized it until this very moment that she loved him. And that’s what scared her so much earlier, just the thought of something bad happening. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“For what?”

“For crying. I feel like I’m always crying.”

Ben ran his fingers over her back, gently scratching through the fabric of her shirt. “You know what they say about tears. It’s not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of being strong for too long.”

She tucked her arms in between her chest and his and looked up at him. He lowered his head until it rested against hers and their eyes were just inches apart.

She knew there was never a good time to say this in a relationship. She knew that guys took it completely different than girls sometimes. She knew what she was risking. And yet, none of that seemed to matter because more than anything she knew that it was true.

“I love you,” she said.

Ben looked back at her and said, “I love you first.”

42

Kiss Me

May 12, 2015

Two days later Casey sat uncomfortably in a small plastic chair inside the Shands Teaching Hospital wing. One of the residents had put together a lecture on atrial fibrillation based on a recent case. She swung the wooden leaf desktop over her lap and sat her iPad on top of it.

To her left was a full height brick wall, but to her right was a wall of almost entirely all windows that looked out to a small courtyard. Casey stared out the window, distracted, thinking about Ben.

Yesterday was the start of summer classes and the first day in a couple weeks she hadn’t seen Ben. His coach had called an impromptu meeting to discuss a change in travel arrangements for the SEC Championship in Tuscaloosa. They talked last night for a little bit, and he promised to stop by sometime today before they left.