In His Dreams (13 page)

Bonnie bounded from the seat, glancing in every mirror as she made her way to the desk where Marsha paid the bill. Then they stepped into the island sunshine.

“Let’s try the Boat-tique.” The shop had become the department store of the island, and she was sure she could find something cute there to please Bonnie. Anything to make her happy and to celebrate the haircuts.

“You look like a young lady, Bonnie,” she said as she continued driving down Donegal Bay Road to Main Street.

Bonnie studied her. “You look like a lady, too, but older.”

Marsha chuckled at her honesty. Much older, she thought. She parked and headed inside the building close to the yacht dock. Inside the boutique, she stopped a clerk and learned they had a Teen Corner. Not having been here for a while, she’d forgotten what the shop had to offer.

Bouncing along beside her, Bonnie seemed thrilled with her new look and, when she saw the clothes, she began pulling garments from the racks.

“Wait a minute,” Marsha said, trying to control her tone, but not wanting Bonnie to create a mess. “First, what size are you?” she eyed Bonnie’s slender frame, trying to calculate.

As she feared, Bonnie shrugged her shoulders.

Marsha returned the items to the rack and guided her to the larger sizes. “Let’s try a three, and let’s look at them one at a time.”

Bonnie dived into the clothing again as Marsha tried sweetly to control her exuberance.

“I like this one,” Bonnie said, holding up jeans with embroidery along the leg, “and this, too.”

She’d pulled out a skirt, too short for Marsha’s taste. “That’s beige and will get dirty. How about this one?” She spotted a cute, longer denim skirt with a flowery trim along the hem and a similar flower on the back pocket.

Bonnie seemed to like that one, and, as she reached for another, Marsha redirected her to the tops. Marsha spotted a top that had similar flowers to the denim skirt and matched Bonnie’s eye color perfectly. Bonnie clutched another top to her chest that worked with the jeans, and Marsha gave an approving nod, grateful that she’d avoided any of Bonnie’s outbursts.

“Now it’s my turn,” Marsha said, carrying Bonnie’s choices to the women’s section. She found a camel-colored T-shirt with a beige-and-orange trim, then gathered a couple of other knit tops and eyed a crinkle crepe skirt in a floral print that befitted summer on an island.

Summer on an island. Now who was poetic? She knew her motivation. If she and Jeff had another evening out, she’d have something new to wear.

She’d guessed well on Bonnie’s size. Bonnie looked so different in the outfits, and she posed in front of the mirror until Marsha had to put an end to it by promising her an ice cream from Daddy Frank’s. She purchased their choices, wondering what Jeff would think of his daughter’s new look.

As they headed to the car, Barb’s worries slammed into her mind. Seeing Bonnie with her haircut and in the more grown-up clothes made her realize that Barb could be right. She needed to talk with Jeff. Bonnie needed to be told not to go with strangers. Sometimes her niece was so forward, talking to people in stores and on the street without a care. Someone needed to give her guidance.

Anxious, she tossed the packages into the backseat and made sure Bonnie was buckled in before heading to Daddy Frank’s, and then back to face Jeff.

B
onnie bounded into the room with a shopping bag from Beaver Boat-tique and a haircut that knocked Jeff backward. He’d never imagined a cut could change his little girl into a near teenager within hours. He opened his arms, and she bounded into them bubbling about an ice-cream cone, the shopping and the haircut.

When he lifted his gaze, his heart stood still. Marsha had appeared in the doorway, a halo of red curls ending before her shoulders. He liked the new look, yet he somehow missed those copper tendrils that had often hung in wispy strands escaping from behind her well-shaped ears.

“Look at the two of you,” he said, not knowing what else to say. Barb’s words echoed in his head and took the edge off Bonnie’s new, grown-up look. “Where’s my little girl?”

“I’m right here,” Bonnie said, pointing to herself. “I just got my hair cut.”

He gave her a bear hug, his eyes captured by Marsha standing so near, then forced himself to ask about Bonnie’s shopping bag.

“I must owe you a fortune,” he said to Marsha as Bonnie pulled items from the bag and let them drop to the floor. “Hold on there, Kemo Sabe.” He caught a skirt decorated with flowers before it hit the floor. “These are brand new. You should take care of them.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, trying to gather the two that had landed on the floor. “Look at what Aunt Marsha bought me.”

He settled onto the sofa as Bonnie showed him each garment and promised a fashion show, but he held her off for a moment and focused on Marsha.

“You owe me nothing,” she said, motioning to the garments. “They’re an early birthday gift.”

“No. Not so many things.” He shook his head.

“It was my pleasure.”

He rose, feeling mesmerized. “Let me look at you.” He walked around her, amazed at how the haircut added a new sparkle to her eyes. “You look like a new woman.”

“I feel like one. Kind of a strange feeling.”

“Not strange.” He touched her soft curls. “Amazing.” He let his hand shift to her cheek, hoping she saw in his eyes what he felt in his heart.

He could no longer continue the friendship game with Marsha when he wanted a relationship. The admission sizzled through his veins. He’d have to say something and pray…hope that she felt the same.

“I look amazing, too,” Bonnie said, sliding in front of him.

He knelt beside her and touched her hair to curb her jealousy, something he’d never noticed before. “You do look amazing.”

Bonnie grinned. “I know.”

Marsha laughed with him, and he gave Bonnie another hug.

“So what did you buy?” he asked Marsha.

“They’re in the car. Just a couple of things.”

“She bought a pretty skirt with flowers,” Bonnie said.

He gazed at Bonnie and saw a new look in her eyes. His daughter talking about clothes. That was astounding. Usually she threw on anything, garments with patterns and colors that didn’t match. “I’ll have to see that.”

“Get the bag, Aunt Marsha.”

Marsha shook her head. “Later. I have to get home.” She took a step backward. “Have fun.”

Jeff followed her to the door and touched her arm. “Hang on a minute,” he whispered, then turned to face Bonnie. “Would you take your new clothes into the bedroom and hang them up, please?”

Her nose curled for an instant, but then she gave him a halfhearted grin. She gathered the garments and carried them into her room. When he turned back to Marsha, a scowl settled on her face. He pushed open the door wider and motioned her outside.

“I’m serious, Jeff. I don’t want you to pay for the clothes. It was my—”

“That’s not it.”

The frown shifted to concern. “Is something wrong?”

“No. Something’s right.”

“Right?”

“I hope so.” He slipped his arm around her shoulder and ambled to the car, a knot in his throat. “This is difficult.”

Marsha faltered and her expression turned to alarm. “Something is wrong, Jeff.”

He shook his head and rested a hand on each of her shoulders. “It’s only wrong if you don’t feel like I do.”

“About what?”

His heart jolted against his chest. “Us.”

“Us?” She gazed at him a long time. “You know how I feel about you, Jeff. You’ve been like a gift to me. I came here thinking I’d sit at the cottage, do a few things around the place and maybe go back to a few of my favorite places. Nothing special. You’ve made my time here special.”

He searched her eyes, seeing a glint of something more, but he didn’t want to second-guess. He drew in a breath and forced out the question. “Is this only a friendship, Marsha?”

Her eyes widened. “Is this only…”

His hands left her shoulders and moved upward to her cheeks. They felt warm against his cool hands.

“Friendship?” She closed her eyes and he felt her jaw tense.

“Or is it more?” he asked, longing to hear her say it had grown beyond friendship.

Her eyes opened. “Do you want an honest answer?”

No, he thought not, from the look in her eyes, but he needed to know. “Yes, be honest.”

“If I speak from my heart, yes, it’s more than friendship. If I speak from my good sense, it’s no.”

“What does that mean?”

“We’ve only spent a few weeks together and it’s just too fast to be realistic. It’s like a shipboard rom—”

“Marsha.” He clasped her shoulders and drew her closer. “It’s not as if we’ve just met. We have a history together.”

Tears rimmed her eyes. “But history doesn’t mean a commitment, Jeff. You mean so much to me. You and Bonnie, but—”

“But, what? You can’t give us a chance?”

She looked at him with the saddest eyes he’d ever seen.

“Then, I misread things, Marsha. I’d really thought—”

“You haven’t misread things.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she raised her arms and wrapped them around his neck, a paradox between her words and what he saw in her eyes. “I can’t trust my heart right now and I have things to deal with.”

“Is it me, Marsha? Is there something wrong with me?”

She only looked at him.

“Is it Bonnie?”

“I love Bonnie.”

“Then…” It had to be something about him.

“Let’s be patient, okay?”

“Patient?” He’d been struggling to control his feelings for the past couple of weeks. He felt as if God—fate—had led him to Marsha. Had he only deluded himself? His mind spiraled out of control. He’d never felt more unsure, more confused.

“Please.”

Her plaintive voice reached him, and he nodded, unable to deal with it all right now. He needed to think.

She slipped into the car and waved goodbye through the open window.

“I’ll call you later,” he said as she drove off.

Jeff stood outside a moment, pondering what she’d said. Her look, her words and her actions didn’t mesh. She said one thing, but her arms around his neck and her eyes said more. Had he done something to upset her? He thought back, remembering his talk with Barb. He mentioned her book and—

That was it. Barb had been upset and now she’d probably confronted Marsha. He’d botched that up badly.

He looked at the empty driveway while loneliness wove through his chest, the same feeling he’d experienced when he thought about returning down state. Maybe Marsha was right. Could he make himself stick to a friendship? That was priceless, but he’d thought friendship made a solid foundation for a relationship. He could only surmise that wasn’t to be.

Marsha waited the rest of the day for Jeff’s call, and it never came. She felt anguish over their discussion. How could she tell him the problem was his lack of faith along with her general guilt? He’d told her not to feel it, but she did. She couldn’t hurt Bonnie, who’d grown so close to her. What if they began dating for real and then their relationship fell apart? What would happen then? She’d feel estranged from Bonnie. The longer she waited, the more certain she became that she’d ended their relationship before it had begun.

Finally, the next morning, after a rotten sleep, Jeff phoned her and asked if she could drop by and talk. Talk? They’d talked yesterday and it had been a disaster. Now she paced again, trying not to let Barb notice her concern.

A while back, they had come to an understanding, a confusing agreement but one they’d both accepted. They would be good friends. Why hadn’t they stuck with the arrangement? Somehow, their hearts had sailed on a course of their own and become tossed like flotsam in the wake of the problems they faced.

She needed to be strong. She’d read God’s Word each night, rereading the passages in 2 Corinthians 6 that said,
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
The final question said it all.
What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

Yet, as much as she knew those were God’s words, she thought about the things she had in common with Jeff. They’d shared a past—both laughter and tears. They’d been bound together as family and, in bad times, she’d found strength in Jeff’s company during Don’s illness. She loved Bonnie and cared so much about her. And she knew that Jeff had believed once.

She shook her head. Did God really mean it? Couldn’t her faith influence him? Couldn’t their relationship bring him back to the Lord? God certainly meant she should not get involved with someone who’d never know the Triune God—Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Jeff knew God. He’d just taken a back step. Back
steps,
she reminded herself.

Twisting God’s Word for her purpose took the wind out of her. The Bible said what it said no matter how she tried to make it different. She closed her eyes a moment, asking the Lord to take away the problem, to open Jeff’s heart again, to let His light shine into Jeff’s darkness even if hers couldn’t.

Marsha finally quit staring out the window and settled on a recliner on the deck. Barb had returned to her place on the sofa, combining writing with reading a novel. She’d said she’d come to a dry spot in her work and thought she’d take a break, but Marsha sensed something else was wrong. Barb’s earlier change of heart had shifted to her more disagreeable, quiet demeanor, and Marsha hadn’t been able to figure out why.

When the screen door sounded, Marsha looked up expecting to see Bonnie or Jeff, but Barb stood there with a scowl on her face.

“What’s wrong?” Marsha asked, fearing that she was facing a blowup.

“I’ve decided to say something before I create a mountain out of a molehill.” She slid the door closed and sank onto the picnic bench, leaning her back against the table.

“What?”

“Have you read my book?”

Marsha’s already agitated pulse kicked up a notch. Her back stiffened, and she wanted to lie so badly, but she knew she couldn’t. “I looked at a page a week ago, after you’d just begun to write. When I asked you about looking at it, you said no so I never looked again.”

“It wasn’t your place to look at it, at all.”

“I know. I promise that was all. I saw the one page. The story looked interesting, and I wanted to read more.”

Barb’s head lowered, and she looked stressed.

“I’m sorry, Barb. I didn’t even think.”

Barb’s head bobbed as if that was a given.

“How did you know?” Marsha asked.

“Jeff. He mentioned it accidentally. I saw the look on his face. He didn’t realize he’d made a mistake. I just let it drop.”

Jeff. She’d forgotten she’d mentioned Barb’s writing to him. She should have told him not to say anything, but that in itself was wrong. It meant she knew she’d done something inappropriate. She’d put her nose in Barb’s business again. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She rose and slid open the screen door.

“It’s not okay.”

She shrugged and went inside while Marsha sat there. Would she ever learn that she didn’t have to be in charge of everything? “I’m making an effort, Lord,” she said to herself, and she really had been. But now she wanted to talk with Jeff again about Barb’s concerns.

She shouldn’t.

“Hi, Bonnie.” She heard Barb’s voice through the screen.

Bonnie came through the doorway, wearing a new top with an old pair of pants.

“You look very nice,” Marsha said.

Bonnie leaned over and kissed Marsha’s cheek. “Thank you for the presents.”

“You’re very welcome.” She looked behind her through the screen into the house shadows. “Where’s your dad?”

“He’s here.”

As the words left her, Jeff came walking around the side of the house. “I figured I’d catch you out here, sunning.” He motioned to the beach. “Bonnie brought her suit with her. Do you mind if she swims?”

“Alone?”

“No, we can go down and watch her.”

She studied his face, seeing no sign of his thoughts, yet hoping they might resolve the tension. “Sure.”