In Love with My Brother's Best Friend: Complete Box Set (5 page)

Who
was I kidding, I thought? It probably had nothing to do with me.
She'd given me shit every chance she could. I'd never forget her
turning me down for that kiss at her thirteenth birthday. I really
had wanted to kiss her, but when she shot me down, I made a joke of
it. There was something about that girl that got to me. I was popular
and had girls lining up to talk to me. Not Tiny. That was my nickname
for her. She was so damn little when I'd met Tim. The first time I
called her that, she was only seven. That little thing got in my
face. She named me Jackie. It pissed me off. I wasn't a damn girl.
Tiny used that nickname every chance she got. Even at their
graduation/birthday party she used it. That night was the only time
I'd ever heard her use my real name. I would have done anything to
hear it say it again. That was a night I would never forget, and it
probably meant nothing to her. It was a night that changed my life
and made me feel horrible. She was usually so quiet and shy. I liked
that about her. She wasn't in that moment. I'll never forget the word
please coming from her sexy mouth. The way her lips reddened after I
sucked them was etched in my mind. I would never forget the way her
body looked, naked on the sand, as she waited for me.

I
jumped off the treadmill and moved to the bag I had hanging from the
ceiling. There was no way I was letting her get to me. I had too much
I needed to concentrate on. There were some big things happening for
me, and I needed to give my decisions all of my attention. I couldn't
afford to let my mind slip. It would cost too many people way too
much. My hand came up, and I punched that damn bag as hard as I
could. Then the other came up to do the same. Right and then left,
over and over.

There
was no way she was coming to Tim's wedding, and I couldn't blame her.
I'd fucked her and moved on like it meant nothing to me. Even if she
didn't give a shit about me, I knew that couldn't have felt good. I'd
been away from her for almost an entire year before that night. When
her friend didn't know where she'd gone, I had to find her and make
sure she was okay. I walked up to see her on her back with her eyes
closed, and something stirred in me. It was something I'd fought
constantly when I was around her. I sat down next to her and we
talked more than we had talked in all of the years I had known her.
Something came over me, and I couldn't fight it. In my mind, I knew I
was supposed to, but I couldn't.

I
had no idea she was a virgin. The moment I realized it, I thought
about stopping. When she pulled me to her, I couldn't do it. I
couldn't walk away from that moment. If I had known, I never would
have gone anywhere near her. Not for one second did I think she
hadn't been with a guy in that way. It still wouldn't have been right
of me to do what I did. Tim had mentioned her going to prom and boys
she had gone out with. I didn't want to hear that shit, but he needed
to talk to someone so he wouldn't pummel their asses. As his best
friend, I listened to each of the stories about who he wanted to beat
to a pulp. I'd find myself wanting to beat some asses as well, but I
never let him know that.

It
was never easy to hear about the guys that wanted to be with her. I
wanted it to be me, but I knew it never could be. I'd made her
brother a promise that night of their thirteenth birthday party. It
was the only thing he'd ever asked of me. Tim was never one to want
or need things. He was always there for his friends and would have
given them anything they needed. He'd only ever had one request. I
was his best friend, and I couldn't even give him that one thing. He
didn't deserve that. Neither did she. I'd felt horrible about it
every single day since it happened. Maybe that's part of the reason I
didn't reach out to Tim as much as I should have. Part of me wanted
to confess what I had done, but I couldn't do it. I knew it would
still crush him after all that time. It was a weak moment. It
shouldn't have happened, and I made damn sure it didn't happen again.
Not that she ever gave me the chance. She ran as fast and far as she
could. I'd spent those last ten years thinking about it and wondering
if she left because she wanted to or if it had something to do with
that night. I never should have given into my feelings. She was off
limits, and I knew it.

When
I pulled my hands back from the bag, I saw the cuts and blood on my
knuckles. It wasn't the first time it happened, and I was sure it
wouldn't be the last. I had to get through two weeks. Then I'd go the
wedding, she wouldn't show up, I'd go back home, and I'd throw myself
even deeper into my work. That was what I told myself, as I stepped
under that steaming, hot shower and let the water roll over my tense
muscles. There was no way she was going to be there. Everything would
be just fine.

Tina

When
I opened my eyes to the bright sun shining through the window, I knew
that I'd slept longer than usual. It was definitely something I
needed. My hands moved over my face as I yawned. I could feel the
puffiness beneath my eyes and could have only imagined the mess my
face had become after crying so much the night before.

I
got out of bed, made a cup of coffee, and knew that I needed to take
on the day. There was no way I was going to let myself get bummed
out. It wasn't happening. That was all in the past. If I was going to
take on the world I'd avoided for ten years, I knew I needed a strong
person by my side. It had to be someone fun who could laugh and dance
with me at the end of the long couple of days I knew I was in store
for.

When
I called Rachel, she wasn't about to leave town after meeting the
hottest guy she'd ever known. She was going to be wrapped up in him
for a long time. That was awesome. She deserved to be happy after
what her ex put her through. I just hoped that Cliff was everything
she'd always wanted and didn't end up hurting her. If he did, all the
money he had wouldn't buy his way out of the ass kicking I would be
giving him.

The
next person to call was Jen. She could definitely cut loose with me.
After apologizing a million times that she wouldn't be able to take a
weekend off again so soon after Vegas, I hung up the phone feeling
defeated.

Neither
of my two closest girls could go with me, and I knew better than to
do it alone. I needed a distraction while I was there but couldn't
think of anyone else that would be willing to fly out of town for
three days with me.

When
I looked at the clock on my phone, I knew I had to get ready for
work. I taught during the school year. It was something I really
enjoyed. Those little ones were the most amazing and honest people in
the world. Every day with them made me happy. I never knew what they
were going to teach me or what new thing they would discover.
Children were the greatest gifts. I also worked at a local restaurant
in the evenings. It helped me keep busy and helped my bank account as
well. During the summer I worked weekdays there as well. There was no
reason for me to be home all day, and I enjoyed the people I worked
with as well as the customers. That was where I was headed that day.

As
I let the hot water from my shower run over my tired body, I thought
about how much I'd changed over the years.

A
lot had changed since high school. I wasn't that shy, quiet thing
anymore. Nope, not me. I was the loudest and most outgoing in my
group of friends. The quiet people were ignored. They were the ones
the guys walked right by. I knew what it was like to be passed over
for the flirty, loud girls. Jackson never knew I existed until that
night. The next morning, he was gone. I wasn't memorable enough to
stick around. That wasn't happening again. It felt absolutely
horrible. The change came as soon as I crossed state lines that
summer after high school. I decided that I wasn't going to be the
girl in college that I was in high school. A fresh start was coming
my way, and I was going to take advantage of it. It wasn't easy at
first, but without my brother hovering over to watch me, it wasn't as
hard as I thought it would be. I made friends quickly and was into
the groove just a few weeks in. There was no way I was going to meet
a man I liked and have them pass me by because I wasn't worth
remembering. It sounded stupid, but at the time it felt right.

I
studied my ass off. There was no way I'd lose my scholarship. If I
did, that meant I would have to go home, and that wasn't an option.
There were parties everywhere at school. It didn't take long before
I'd met a few of the athletes and a few fraternity guys. There was
never a boring, quit night on campus. I somehow managed to get good
grades and have a social life. Believe me, I never put my life in
danger or did anything too crazy. The drinking was kept to a minimum.
It was just about fun and leading everyone to believe I was confident
and awesome.

That
worked for me all through college and even after. There were times it
got tiring, but I never let it show. It worked when it came to guys.
They didn't ignore me anymore. I'd gone out here and there and hooked
up with my fair share of them, but it wasn't what I expected. The
guys that paid attention to the outgoing me weren't the kind I would
want to build any kind of life with. They just wanted to hook up and
be on their way. It was fine for a long time, but one day, it just
wasn't enough anymore.

I
was still outgoing when I was at work or out with my friends, but
when I went home, I let the real me out. Movies, popcorn, and my
kindle were what I was about. I'd pull my hair up and throw on a pair
of sweats. Music would keep me company, and I'd mess around on the
internet. It felt good to be alone and not feel like I had to
entertain everyone sometimes. I spent a lot of time working on things
for my class. Baking was something else I really enjoyed. Of course I
couldn't eat everything I made, but my neighbors were happy.

The
water ran cold and pulled me from my thoughts. I hurried out of the
shower, got dressed, and was out the door for work in record time.

When
I walked through the door to the employee area, Chris' ass was the
first thing I saw. He was bent over putting his stuff in a locker.
How could I possibly pass that up? I walked up slowly, pulled back,
and smack.

“
What
the,” he yelled out, as he spun around.

“
Couldn't
pass it up,” I said with a shrug.

“
I'll
get you for that,” he growled.

His
eyes were glaring, but I could see the smile on his lips. His muscles
were bulging tight beneath his shirt. I'd known Chris since I started
at the restaurant five years earlier. He worked there to pass time
just like I did. During the school year, he taught computers at the
local high school.

“
You're
looking super fine today,” I said.

“
Oh
yeah?” he asked.

“
Yep,”
I said. “I wouldn't kick you out of bed.”

“
Too
bad you don't have the right parts for me, or I'd say the same about
you,” he joked, as he wrapped his arms around me. “How
was Vegas? Bring me back any fine looking men? I mean gifts.”

“
No,”
I joked back. “I used them and left them there. You should have
gone with us. Rachel met a guy. You won't believe it. He ended up
being that asshole of an ex's boss.”

Chris'
eyes widened.

“
It
gets better,” I said. “The woman he was doing, his
secretary, was the boss' sister.”

“
Oh
no,” Chris said. “Are you serious?”

“
Yep,”
I said. “He seemed to really like Rachel. He even upgraded all
three of us on the flight home. Best flight ever. I'll probably never
be able to afford a flight like that myself.”

“
Sure
you will,” he said. “I believe in you.”

I've
joked around with Chris since the day we met. We've gone out to clubs
together, talked for more hours than you can imagine, and watched
movies together. He's let me cry on his shoulder, and I've listened
to stories about his life. That man has had some hot boyfriends,
hotter than any of mine have been. I can honestly say, he is the
closest person to me and knows more about me than anyone outside of
Florida. Why didn't I think of taking him, I wondered? He'd be
perfect. I didn't have to take a woman. I knew Chris would've had my
back more than anyone.

“
Chris,”
I said in the sweetest voice I could find.

He
narrowed his big, brown eyes at me.