Authors: Sinead Moriarty

In My Sister's Shoes (34 page)

BOOK: In My Sister's Shoes

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I realized then that Dad probably still missed Mum. You never really get over losing the love of your life and he had compared every woman he had met since to her. They’d never come close. She was his soul mate. How could anyone compete with that? The bendy Sheryl had had no hope.

‘Out of every bad thing comes something good – or so they say. I didn’t believe that anything positive could come of this until Katie came home. And for once, Katie, you weren’t rushing back to London. You stayed and we got to spend time with you and get to know you again, and it’s been lovely. I’ve enjoyed having you around very much, and I’m sorry to see you go back. I hope you’re making the right decision. I’d like to see you stay here and settle, but you’re big enough and bold enough to make your own decisions, so I’ll just say we’ll miss you and the door is always open for you, if you change your mind.

‘And that leaves young Derek here, except he isn’t young any more. You’re twenty-seven now, Derek, and it’s time to grow up. I’ve indulged you long enough, the music hasn’t worked out so now you’ll come and work for me, and I think you’ll enjoy it once you get over not being a pop star.’

‘Rap artist.’ Derek sighed.

‘Whatever it is, you haven’t made it, so it doesn’t really matter. Anyway, in fairness to you, Derek, despite your knock-backs you’ve tried hard to make it work and I take my hat off to you, but there comes a stage where you have to accept defeat and that’s now. So I’m asking you from today forward to speak in normal English, leave off the big tent-like T-shirts and saggy-arsed trousers and wear decent clothes – and for God’s sake, no more tattoos.’

At this point Fiona and I cheered. It was a welcome relief from the emotion that was flooding the room.

‘When a man looks at his children and tries to remember the time he was proudest of them, it usually conjures up memories of graduations or wedding days. But for me it’s been the courage and grace Fiona has shown through every dayof her or deal this year, and for Kate and Derek, it’s the day you shaved off your hair. That’s solidarity, that’s kinship, that’s love, that’s family. I’ve never been more proud of my three children than this year,’ he said, choking up. ‘So here’s to you all, and to a long, happy and healthy life.’

We threw back our champagne and tried not to cry. This was the most touchy-feely we’d ever been. It was uncomfortable and wonderful at the same time.

Just as we were all catching our breath, Fiona stood up. ‘I’d like to saya few words now. First of all, thanks, Dad, for what you just said and for everything. You’ve had to be father and mother to us, and you’ve done a great job. You don’t have to apologize to me about falling apart after Mum. I understand better now and I wouldn’t change a thing. My life is what it is and having cancer has made me realize how lucky I am. I have a wonderful family, husband and children.’

Then, turning to me, she said, ‘I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Kate properly. You dropped everything to come home and help me and the boys. I know how much your career means to you and I know how hard that must have been. I don’t think you’ll ever know how deeply grateful I am. I couldn’t have got through this without you, Kate. You’ve been amazing to me and the twins. They adore their auntie Kate. It’s been so lovely having you around everyday and getting closer again. I’m really going to miss you. I wish you weren’t going, but if this is what you want, I wish you every success. If I can ever do anything to help you out, just pick up the phone.’

I knocked back another glass of champagne to stop the lump forming in my throat making me bawl – at this rate I’d be plastered before dinner.

Turning to the birthday boy, Fiona added, ‘Derek, you’ve been brilliant too. You’ve always managed to make me laugh, even on my really bad days, so thank you. And finally, Mark, I couldn’t have got through this without you. Thank you for everything, but most of all thanks for being such a wonderful father,’ she said, and bent to kiss him. He looked chuffed, and I almost liked him again.

‘Kate, do you want to say anything?’ Dad asked. I shook myhead. I didn’t trust myself to speak.

‘Birthday boy? Anything you’d like to add?’ Dad asked Derek.

Derek shuffled to his feet. ‘OK, so this is weird, everyone being all nice to each other and shit. All I’ve got to say, really, is that turning twenty-seven sucks because I’ve got to give up music, but the fact that you’re all here is making it a bit less shitty. I never reallysaid any of this mushy stuff before but, Fiona, I want you to know that I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, like for ever. You’ve been like a mum and a sister, and you’ve always been there when I’ve fucked up and helped me out and never judged me. It’s prettyrare.

‘Dad, I promise I’ll tryto fit in with your office people but I can’t guarantee I’ll totally blend. Kate, it’s a bummer that you’re going back. It’s been fun having you around. You used to be all stressed out when you came home and snappy and distracted, but this time you were cool. So it’s farewell to music and hello, real world.’

‘What happened to plan B?’ Dad asked

Derek shrugged. ‘The guynever got back to me so I guess he thought the idea sucked.’

The doorbell rang. I stood up abruptly. ‘Actually, Derek, I have some good news for you. Just hang on a second.’

They all stared at me as I ran out to answer the door.

‘What’s going on?’ asked Sam, as I pulled him in.

‘Thanks for coming. I promise it’ll all make sense in a minute,’ I said, ushering him into the room and thrusting a drink into his hand.

Everyone was puzzled.

‘I’ve asked Sam to be here because what I’ve got to say affects him too.’ I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. ‘It would appear that I used to be a royal pain in the arse. Self-obsessed, self-important and full of hot air. I admit that coming home to help Fiona was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and, without a shadow of a doubt, the best and most rewarding. I’ve loved getting to know the twins and seeing them grow and develop. They’re a credit to both of you,’ I said, to Fiona and Mark. ‘You’ve done a really great job, and they’re amazing kids. I’ve also really enjoyed spending time with all of you. I forgot how important family is. I’d lost myway and it’s a pity that something so awful had to happen to give me the slap in the face I needed, but I guess that’s life. I owe Fiona so much for having looked after me so well as a kid. With only four years between us in age, there was a generation between us in maturity. You were incredible, Fiona, always putting me and Derek first, and I’m sorryit’s taken me so long to give something back to you. The best thing about coming home this time was that it gave me a chance to help mysister, the most selfless person I know. It’s been lovely to spend time with you guys, too,’ I added, smiling at Dad and Derek.

‘Over the last eight months I’ve had time to reassess my life, where it was going, what I really want for my future and the type of person I want to be, and I realized that a lot of changes needed to be made. I’ve had a long hard look at myself, and there was a lot I didn’t like, so I’m trying to change and make better decisions. Fiona, you said something to me the other day that reallystruck home. I couldn’t stop thinking about it and it helped me make some tough choices. You said,“No one wants ‘She had a successful career’ engraved on their headstone. It’s sad and soulless.” And you were right. So –’

‘Yo, nice speech and all, but what’s the good news you have for me?’ interrupted Derek.

I smiled and proceeded to explain what had happened three days earlier when I’d received a phone call out of the blue…

‘Hi, Kate, Peter Kildare from TV3 here. I’ve had another call from Sam Taylor offering me tickets to the All-Ireland hurley final if I could find you a job. He must be very keen on you – those tickets are like gold dust. I told him I don’t have any presenting jobs coming up, but I did have something turn up on mydesk that might be a possibility, if you’d agree to do it. I’ve been toying with the idea of running fly-on-the-wall documentaries about people trying to make it as musicians, actors, chefs, artists, writers and that kind of thing. If you get the right people, it can make great TV. Anyway, the other day these two lads arrived into my office and tried to sell me the idea of a reality TV show based around them trying to make it as rap artists. The singer’s old man was going to pull the plug on their cash-flow and they were desperate not to have to give up the dream. They were hilarious – unintentionally so – but a riot none the less. They take themselves very seriously, so I asked them for a sample of their songs – which weren’t all that bad. I’m thinking of starting the series with a documentary on them. They’re such characters that it should be very entertaining. They talk like hard-core gangsters – it’s priceless. I’d need someone good to steer the documentary, though, and I couldn’t pay much, which is the problem so far. None of the presenters I’ve approached will do it because the pay is so bad, and you’re talking at least six months to make a decent documentary– but if you’d consider it, maybe we could work something out…’

Derek jumped up from his chair. ‘
NO WAY
!’

‘So,’ I said, smiling at him, ‘it looks like I’m going to be making a documentary about you and Gonzo. Which means I’ll be staying in Ireland. Although I may have to live at home for a while longer, Dad. The money
is
pretty awful, but if it’s a success I get a cut of the profits.’

‘Awesome! Wait’ll I tell Gonzo,’ whooped Derek, dialling his band mate’s number.

‘Excuse
me
,’ said Dad. ‘I’d like to complain. After twenty-seven years I finally get my son to agree to give up trying to be a rapper and get a proper job and you’ve just given him an other six months of tormenting me with bad grammar and looking at the crack of his arse! Get away over to London with you.’

‘Sorry, Dad, but as the T-shirt says,“Talent will triumph.”’

I sat down and looked at Sam. ‘Thanks for coming.’

‘Your message said it was life or death.’

‘It is to me. So, can we give it a go? I really want this to work,’

‘It
has
to work. Do you have any idea how difficult it was to get those tickets for Peter Kildare? I’m all out of favours,’ he said, smiling.

‘I’ll take that as a yes.’ I laughed, and he kissed me.

‘Sorry, bro,’ said Derek, into the phone. ‘Judging by the tonsil-tennis going on here Kate’s back with the journalist dude. But, hey, we’re going to be famous so you’ll have your pick of the ladies.’

‘Some one shoot me now,’ said Dad, putting his head in his hands. Teddy put a comforting paw on his lap.

‘Why is Granddad crying?’ asked Jack, who had appeared out of nowhere with his brother in tow.

‘Boys!’ said Fiona. ‘It’s way past your bedtime.’

‘We heard Uncle Derek shouting,’ said Bobby.

‘Guess what, boys?’ I said. ‘I’m not going back to England! I’m staying here with you.’

They yawned and climbed on to their mother’s lap.

Acknowledgements

Sincere thanks go to:

My editor, Patricia Deevy, for her patience and guidance with this book.

All at Penguin Ireland, especially Michael McLoughlin, Cliona Lewis and Brian Walker.

All at Penguin UK, with special mention to Tom Weldon, Becke Parker, Naomi Fidler and the wonderful sales, marketing and creative teams; Hazel Orme, for her excellent copy-editing.

My agent Gillon Aitken, Ayesha Karim, Lesley Thorne and everyone at the agency.

All my friends, for their support and encouragement.

Monica McInerney for the long lunches and emails that keep me sane.

My uncle, Michael Moriarty, for his great help and patience in talking me through the treatment of breast cancer – any mistakes that remain are my own.

Mum, Dad, Mike, Sue, and all the nephews, nieces, in-laws and out-laws for being so generous of spirit and endlessly enthusiastic.

Troy most of all – I couldn’t do this without you.

My two little miracles, Hugo and Geordy, who make every day feel like Christmas.