In Name Only (16 page)

“I’m. . .I’m
not getting dressed.” 

“Yes, you are,
now get up, before we wake the entire house.”

“I’m not going
with you, Father.”  He said it quickly before his courage faded.

“You have no
idea what you’re talking about.  I’m giving you something which will make you a
real man.”

“I’m not
going. . .to the. . .whorehouse. . .with you, Father.”  Liam’s voice was
trembling.

Jack O’Donovan
stepped back.  “And who told you I was taking you there?” he
roared.

Liam remained
silent.  There was no need to get David in trouble too.

His father
reached out and slapped the side of his head. Liam winced.

“What? Are you
a pansy?”

“No.  I. . .”

Jack O’Donovan
began to yell at the top of his lungs.  “You ingrate!  You damned pansy! I
offer to give you a gift and you refuse? Do you think you’re better than your
father?” He stopped.  Liam wouldn’t look at him, but he could hear the heavy
breathing then a deep sigh.  “I only have one son from now on.  You’re nothing
to me anymore.  Do you hear me?  Nothing!”

His father
stomped out of the room, his feet dropping like anvils on the floor.

Liam’s heart was
thundering in his chest.  He had had two long years to think about how he would
tell his father that he would not be accepting his gift and that he would
refuse to go.  How could he share with his father that the idea
of being naked with an unknown made-up woman repulsed him, that he didn’t want
to pick up diseases from these women?  How could he tell him that he only
wished to do that with his wife someday?

His bedroom
door swung open again and Liam gasped.  His father stood quietly in the
doorway, his shadowy figure black and foreboding.  Liam said nothing, but his
heart continued to pound.

All of a
sudden, Jack threw something in the room, then slammed the door again.  The
small white envelope landed with a quiet smack on the floor beside his bed.

He slipped out
of bed and picked it up.  Inside was a note, scrawled in his father’s
handwriting, bold and heavy on the paper, “When you decide to become a MAN,
here are the coins I was going to give you to do so.  Happy Birthday”.

His hands were
shaking as he put the note and coins back inside the envelope
.

Liam placed the
envelope back into the cigar box and exhaled with relief. A man?  His father
had no idea what it meant to be a real man. Caroline would never need to worry
about her husband’s drinking too much or his unfaithfulness.  And although he
was more than disappointed that Caroline had lied to him, he believed her when
she said that she would never be dishonest or disobey him again.

In the carriage
on the way to the church, David shoved his brother’s arm.

“You nervous,
Lee?”

“Yes, I’m
nervous.  Who wouldn’t be on their wedding day?”

“I don’t think I
would be, if it were Caroline Martin I was about to wed.  A fine young lady
you’ve found.”

David leaned
across the seat and straightened his brother’s collar and tie.  “There, that
looks better.”

“Since when do
you care about appearance?”

“Since my brother
is getting married and he does.”  David paused, then spoke again.  “Mother
would have loved Caroline.”

“I know.”  He
stared at his brother, then asked, “You do have the ring, right?”

“Yes, Lee, I’ve
got the. . .”  David stopped, then opened his jacket and checked his inside
breast pocket. “Lee. . .”

“Please don’t
tell me that you forgot the ring.”

“Oh, here it is,”
he said as he pulled it out.

At the church, they
stepped out of the carriage.  Liam and David walked quickly around to the side,
then rear of the church.  As they approached the back door, David whispered, “I’ll
be right there, Lee.”  Liam frowned, then watched his brother walk across the
street toward the general store. 

Liam knocked on
the church’s back door.  The preacher opened it and greeted Liam.

“Right this way,
Mr. O’Donovan.  Miss Martin and her family have not arrived as yet.”

He nodded and
followed the man to a small room.  “You can wait here until I call you for the
ceremony.”

“Thank you.”

Liam peered out
the open window at the back yard area of the Episcopalian Church.  Autumn was a
beautiful season to be married.  In the distance, the crisp orange and red
maples dotted the landscape like blossoming flowers.

Liam began to
wring his hands, then started to pace back and forth.  He wondered if Caroline
was just as nervous or whether she was handling the stress of their wedding day
with ease.  Liam thought ahead to this evening’s intimacy and immediately he
was concerned for Caroline.  Had anyone told her what to expect tonight? Being
raised by only a father would suggest that this could possibly be an awkward
situation.  Despite that, Liam looked forward to the night ahead and resolved
to get the whole ordeal over as quickly as possible for his new wife.

David came
through the door and checked his pocket watch.  “The Martins aren’t here yet. I'll
let you know when they ride up.”

*  *  *

“Carrie, you look
lovely.  Are you nervous?” Elizabeth asked as Caroline surveyed herself in the
vanity mirror in her bedroom.

“Yes, I am. 
Uncle has invited so many people.”

She stole a
glance in the mirror and stepped back.  Generally speaking, she didn’t like
wearing her hair up, but today, it looked graceful and it made her look mature.
She was especially pleased with her gown, an all lace-tapered bodice, a silk
skirt and ten foot train. 
Yes, Liam, I think you will be quite satisfied
with your bride today
.

“Ye better be
speedin’ things up, me girl, sure an’ the buggy be ready to take ye ta church
an’ all. It’s good that it be yer own weddin’ ‘cause ye could be missin’ the
whole affair. . .ye be late ‘nuff already. Sure an’ Himself be ready and
waitin’.”

“Yes, Patsie, I’m
almost finished.”

“Miss ‘Lizabeth,
would ye be lettin’ yer father know about the buggy, now?”

Although Elizabeth remained silent, her expression said, ‘Isn’t that what servants are for?’

“That would be so
helpful, Lizzie, thank you.”

Her cousin sighed
loudly and left the room.

Patsie finished
buttoning up the back of Caroline’s dress.  “I was wantin’ to talk to ye, me
girl, ‘bout bein’ married an all.”

“Yes, Patsie,
what is it?”

“Well, I be
knowin’ that ye were after seein’ what it is that married folk’ll be doin’.” 
She hesitated.

“To be honest,
I’m trying to remove that image from my mind.  It was a most unpleasant
sight.”  Caroline had decided not to ever share with Liam that she had seen his
brother and a servant girl in the henhouse that day. 

“Well, ye have a
mind then what I be sayin’ ‘bout that bein’ what married folk do?”

Caroline nodded.

“Sure then, ye
bein’ a poor orphan, and no Ma ta be talkin’ ta ye ‘bout these. . . ah,
matters.”

“Yes, Patsie?”

“Well, sure an’
ye know, ye bein’ pure an all and niver bein’ touched by no man. . .”

Caroline leaned
closer towards Patsie’s pudgy face.  The older servant was biting on her bottom
lip.

“Well, ye know, the
first time it be happenin’ to a young colleen. . .well now. . .it’s bein’ a
bit. . .well then. . . what I’m after sayin’ is. . .’tis awkward, that is, for
a young colleen.”

“Awkward?”

“Sure an’ it is
that, me lamb.  But ‘tis a wife’s duty, that is, the marriage bed.  It’s after
bein’ some’n that us women must endure.”

“I see.” 
Why
did Selly and Missy keep going back to David?

Patsie continued.
“But I’m right sure, that I am, that Mr. Liam‘ll be gentle with ye.”

Caroline regarded
Patsie with an affectionate glance. “Thank you, Patsie.” 

“Ye be lookin’ so
beautiful, Miss Caroline.”  Patsie caressed the side of her face. “I’m thinkin’
I’ll not be likin’ the thought of ye livin’ next door.  Sure an’ ye’ve made
this place a joy to be workin’ in.  Ye be havin’ a good heart, what’s filled
with much kindness. And ye be right spirited too.  Been lookin’ forward to
ev’ry day.”

“I shall only be
next door, Patsie.”

Patsie’s eyes
were moist. “Sure an’ ye mights well be ‘cross town.  I’m after bein’ glad my
Jane’ll be with ye.  She’s a good worker, my daughter.”

“Now, now, I’ll
visit soon.”

Patsie left the
room.  The older servant’s comments had been kind. However, it was seeing what
supposedly happened between a husband and wife that frightened her the most. 
She was decidedly nervous thinking ahead to what this evening would bring.  The
only conversation she had about the subject was with her father when she was
14.

“
And Onan knew
that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his
brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed
to his brother. And the thing that he did displeased the Lord; wherefore he
slew him also.”

“Papa, what
did he spill?”

Andrew Martin
paused before answering, then shifted awkwardly in his bed. “Well, Carrie, I. .
.”

“Did he spill
his seed?”

“Well, dear. .
.you see. . .”

“Where does a
man keep his seed. . .and does this have to do with a man and woman getting
married?”

“Well. . .”

“All I know,
Papa, is that whatever it means, it greatly displeased the Lord and the Lord
killed him for it.  It sounds pretty serious.”

“Well, yes,
dear, it is.”

Andrew Martin
began coughing and Caroline, distracted, began pounding his back.

Caroline wiped
her eyes.  Although this was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, it
was bittersweet, for her beloved father would not be walking her down the
aisle.  She loved Uncle Edward, but wished that her father had lived long
enough to give her away.

*  *  *

Caroline and her
uncle waited at the rear of the church.  The organist began to play “Jesu, Joy
of Man’s Desiring.”

“Well, my dear,
are you ready?” he whispered.

“Yes, Uncle, I
am.” Caroline took hold of her uncle’s arm and began walking down the center
aisle of St. Mary’s Episcopal Church.  In the distance, Liam stood at the front
of the church with David.  Liam was the most handsome man she had ever met, but
his kindness made him so much more attractive. Caroline carefully avoided
David’s eyes as she didn’t want anything to spoil the moment.

Moving closer,
Uncle gave her arm to Liam and the young couple stood in front of the parson as
the ceremony began.

* * *

Later that day,
at the reception at the Martin mansion, Caroline held Liam’s arm as they spoke
to a group of people at the side of the spacious dining room.  Caroline
nonchalantly glanced past Liam and watched David and an invited guest, a
beautiful young girl, interact as they stood together near the band.  She shook
her head.

“Caroline?” Liam
asked.

“Yes?”

“You know that
David is. . .”

Caroline turned
away.

“I know that you
and David have. . .well. . .”

“Why must you
ruin the moment and mention him?”

“He’s my brother,
and he is now your brother-in-law and a relative.  You must try harder to get
along with him.”

She controlled
her urge to retort.  She was going to have to make an effort to tolerate David,
despite his obnoxious personality.

A tall bearded
man approached them.  “Mr. O’Donovan, I was surprised to learn that you and
your brother have expanded your mercantile business and opened another store in
Boston.”

“Yes.  Opening a
store there allows us to do business with more Canadian exporters.”

Caroline again
studied David as he interacted with the beautiful young girl. He was smiling
and staring like he was eyeing her up for dinner.

“Excuse me,
Liam.  I shall return shortly.” This seemed like an opportune moment to attempt
to ‘get along with David.’

She walked up to
David and his companion, then waited a few seconds until David acknowledged
her.  When he noticed her, his eyes widened and he practically laughed out
loud.

“My dearest
sister-in-law, you make a most stunning bride.”