In Search of Grace (7 page)

             
Alex cringed
as Charles turned
o
n his most flamboyant of voices. 
With elbows on the
table,
she dropped
he
r head into her hands not
want
ing
to see the train wreck
that she knew was
about to happen
but then unable to resist
,
peeked through her fingers.

             
Seth
came into view
,
and
walking
over to Charles
,
held out his hand. 
They
s
hook
while
each
man siz
ed
the other one up
.
  Seth’s eyebrows rose and a rush of what could only be described as relief flowed through him when he realized that this was Alex’s dinner date.  A grin spread across his face.

             
“Good evening.  May I help you
?
”
Seth
’s
deep
voice
reverberat
ed
all the way to the pit in her stomach.

             
“
Oh
, I just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.  Can’t get too much information from my girl over there and thought I would check out the forbidden fruit
myself
, if you know what I mean.”  Charles’ voice
dropping
to a theatrical whisper
was not fooling Alex.   He found this situation funny
.

             
Seth’s
eyes sparkled with
amusement
i
nstantly lik
ing
the
man
standing in front of him
. 
His gaze
turned to Alex
,
as
they stared a
t
each other
for a moment before turning his attention back to Charles
responding to his comment
.
“
Yes
, I
think
I
do know what you mean
.
”

             
For over 15 minutes, Seth and Charles
spoke
,
their
voices
rising and lower
in animated conversation.
 
O
nce in awhile both men would burst out
laughing
at something said
by the other
.  The longer they spoke, the
more irritated
Alex got. 
When it did not look like they were going to end the conversation
any time soon
, she
got up, and loudly started to clear the table of the dishes
.  Back and forth she went, e
ach time slamming the screen door
.  It did not seem to faze the m
e
n but
it did
Hamlet
.  Unable to stand any more
,
he ran out the door and to Charles. 

             
“What the heck is that?
”
 

             
Charles scooped up Hamlet
into his big arms. 

             
“T
his is Hamlet
,
and I think I better go before my girl explodes
over there.
”

             
After saying good night, Charles entered the kitchen
, still holding Hamlet
in his arms, watching
Alex busily washing dishes.

             
“
Ah
, that was interesting.” 
H
is eyes
piercing
her face for any trace of emotion.  He wasn’t disappointed.  

             
“For two people that only met yesterday, there is a lot of energy in that back yard
.
  This
, my dear,
is going to be fun to watch.”

             
With that
and not expecting Alex to respond,
Charles gave Alex a big hug
.

             
Alex glanced at Hamlet, happily ensconced in Charles grip.

             
“
You’re
keeping him then?”
Alex muttered.

             
“Yes, I think it is about time Hamlet came to live with me.  This back and forth relationship is not good for a dog
or me,
besides, we suit each other.”

             
Alex
could not
even be sad.  She
had
known
that this day
had been
coming
since the two met
,
and she only wanted Hamlet
’
s happiness.

             
Wrapping
both arms around one of Charles’ while squeezing it gently in a
hug,
she felt grateful for having him as a friend.

             
“Y
ou are a good friend to me
,
and I love you!”

             
“I love you too
girl,
and I want to see you happy.  Who knows, maybe happiness is only a
gate
away.”

             
Alex
feigned irritation
,
“I
will
talk to you tomorrow
.
”
before slamming
the front door
as Charles stepped
out
.
Alex heard his booming laughter through the door as she
walked
back to the kitchen
smiling
.

             
Working to
straighten up the
kitchen from
her dinner with Charles, she let her
mind
wander.  She saw that both men liked each other
instantly, which
was rare for Charles.  It was rare for her also to have
strong feelings
toward any man
,
let al
one a physical attraction.  Yet even she had to admit that there was something there between her and Seth.  I
t made her uncomfortable.
She had spent her whole
life keeping
people at a
distance
.
Thrust from foster home to foster home
,
she learned
quickly
to survive on her own
,
to trust no one but herself.  She had to deal with physical and mental abuse by her
caretakers
, eventually
getting old enough to dream
of a day that she could leave it all behind.
Through it
all,
she
wrote
.
The stories that flowed from her mind and onto blank pages gave her an
outlet for the pain that fil
led her as a child
and then as an adult
.  Each fantasy put on paper of worlds where the pain would be hea
led
,
and there was always a happily every after
.  She loved her happy endings
,
and late at night before she would fa
ll to sleep, she would tell her
self that she would have her own happy ending.  When she graduated from High School
,
she knew that the day had
finally
come to start her new beginning.  At 18
,
she did not hesitate to
buy a one
-
way ticket and
walk on to that Greyhound bus
heading to
Boston
.
There was no looking back
,
only forward.
  It was not easy for
Alex
, just trying to survive those first months,
yet there were no regrets.
She was able to get
a
receptionist
job at an up and coming
s
oftware
c
ompany
in
Boston
. 
During her first
year,
she learned as much as she could
,
and when the secretarial department had an
opening,
she was
first to be
offered the promotion.
 
Once again, striving to learn everything she could
,
Alex worked hard
putting in many
long
hours.  She did not take a lot of time for herself, except for her writing
and hiking.
On
e of her
co-workers told her about Breakh
eart Reservation
.
  Alex used to love Breakh
eart. 
Not wanting to go there in her head tonight, she
pushed aside
all
thoughts of the Reservation.
  Thinking again of Charles she smiled.
Office Manager by day, theatrical guru by night
,
he was larger than life.  He seemed to know who she was behind all of her ma
n
y facades and
eventually
breached every wall she had put up.  They were
inseparable
until she met
Jeremy
.  Smooth, flashy and a player
,
she was easy p
r
ey to his
sales
pitches.
Alex
frowned
remember
ing
how
Charles did not like
Jeremy
the moment she introduced the two.  It was a constant sore spot between them
,
yet w
hen
Jeremy
proposed marriage
just
eight
months after meeting
, Charles stood with her against his better
judgment
.
The first two years
of marriage
were great.  I
f
you discounted
the
late nights
in
which
Jeremy
said were all work
.
He was always w
orking on
that
big sale
,
which never came.
  She worked long days for money that seemed to disappear
,
faster than i
t
came in
,
from their joint bank account
.
By year
three
of their marriage, she knew
that
her marriage
was not
working.  The
rose-colored
glasses had come off
,
and she was miserable.
  She was not a quitter
,
so she tried to make it
work
until
she caught him in their bed with a co-worker
.
Labeling that moment in time
“the incident
”
,
she filed for divorce.  Charles
had been
right
all along
.
 
He
never said I told you so
,
and s
he never told him about
the infidelity.
Alex
knew that her not telling hurt him.
 
During her separation,
Ch
arles
watched as Alex put
a
wall back up
.
A wall
built so strong
,
that
to this day
,
even her best friend could not tear down.

             
After fi
nishing
the
dishes
,
Alex
leaned against the marble counter
top
. 
She was
tired, and realized her procrastination was more in fear of
going to sleep and
possibly having
the nightmare
again th
a
n her trip down memory lane.
  Shutting
off the lights in the house, she walked into her bedroom. 
Slipping on a tee shirt
, she
sighed deeply as she felt the cool sheets
against her skin
.  It wasn’t long before she drifted
off to sleep.