In Search of Grace (2 page)

             
Feeling
exhilarated
she allowed the breath she was holding to slowly leave her lungs
while
unclench
ing
her
fingers
that were
still
gripping
the steering
wheel
.  J
ust knowing she was heading in the right d
irection
allowed
her body
to
lo
se
some of
its tension
. 

             
Alex saw the blue lights before she heard the siren.  Groa
ning she knew she was bagged.
“Dammit!”  Easing the car over
to the right,
Alex
gripped the steering wheel
again
even tighter
, praying for grace that it was just a coincidence that the State Trooper
’s
flashing lights
came
after her illegal turn
; h
oping that
the
trooper
’s
car
would
fly right by her
head
ing
to an emergency
. 
Her eyes kept glancing in the review mirror
“Go pas
t
, go pas
t
”
she chanted
as her vehicle slowly came to a stop.  H
er heart
felt like it was going to beat out of her chest
as she watched the State Trooper’s car do the same.

             
Alex felt the tears stinging the back of her eyes. 
A ticket
would just be the icing on the cake after a
n exhausting
day.  The seconds ticked to minutes as she waited for the
officer
to approach
.
  Feeling her palms
begin
to
moisten again
, she tried to calm her nerves
by
rubbing
them quickly
back and forth
.
 
The
tears hover
ed on the tips of
her eyelashes
.
“
You
will not cry in front of this person
.
”  Gritting her
teeth,
she willed them away as she watched him
say something on his rad
io then pause as a response was
given before
slowly and deliberately
stepping
out of the vehicle
.
With
appreciation,
Alex took in the size of him
as he
placed
his hat on his head
. 
Striding to the rear of her
car,
he stopped.

             
“
Please turn your interior lights on and place
your hands on the steering wheel, where I can see them
.
”

             
Quickly
she
followed his commands
and only then did he approach her window.

             
“
Hello
officer
.”
 

             
“Drivers license and registration please
.
”
His voice was deep
and
filled with authority.
Alex leaned over to reach the glove compartment
cringing as
the contents tumbled to the floor
.  Nervou
sly fumbl
ing
through the papers
,
she
breathed
a sig
h
of relief when she saw the one that she needed.

             
“
Do
you know why I stopped
you?
”

             
Alex’s shoulders sagged. 
“
Yes
.
” Finding her wallet in her pocketbook,
she reached through the window to hand over the reg
istration and drivers license.
Their fingers touched briefly
and
she pulled her hand back as if struck,
while
a jolt
of something
went through her.  Seth watched
the emotions play over her face
at the contact
.
Everything in her demeanor told him that
she
was
not
a frequent
traffic
offender
.
He pushed the hat higher up his
forehead
just as she
looked up and for a
moment,
their
eyes met.
Her eyes were a soft brown and he immediately flashed to the body of the woman today. 
He felt unsteady unable to pull
back
from the eye contact.
N
otic
ing
the
tears,
he internally groaned
.  Not another woman who was going to try use tears to get out of a ticket.
B
reaking the eye contact while s
te
e
ling himself inside
,
his voice remained
stern.

             
“You made an unauthorized turn back there.”

             
“I know
.
I
’m
sorry.  I was lost.”  Her voice trailed off.
  What good would it do
her?

             
“Where are you heading?”

             
Seth watched as she ran a
hand through her hair
mesmerized as the dark brown strands fell gently to her shoulders
.

             
“Home
.  I am trying to get home
.
”

             
Seth
looked
down at her
driver’s
license to see where “home” was.  A look of surprise crossed his face
.  The address listed was the house next door to the one he had
just purchased
.  Ms.
Tuttle
was his neighbor.

             
“Wait here
.
”

             
Looking at the dashboard clock,
Alex
was surprised to see it read 2:00 am.   Had she
really
been at the hospital that long? 
Leaning
back
while placing
her head on the
headrest,
she took a deep breath
.  A headache was beginning to form and the pounding in her temples
was
relentless.
Tears filled her eyes again as she thought of Sean
-
n
inety
years old and ready, but not want
ing
to die alone.  The hospital had called around 1:00 pm
that afternoon
and told her that it would be soon. 
She had almost said that she
could not
make it
having
just
landed from a
business
trip
and had not even collected her
suitcases from baggage claim.
The
thought of
Sean
being by
himself, surrounded by strangers,
mad
e her agree to go in
. 
Hurrying
to collect her bags
then retrieve her car from
the parking garage
at
Logan
Airport
,
she
headed straight to
Beth
Israel
.  
Alex
spent
the day reading and talking to Sean as part of a volunteer group,
No one dies Alone
.
  It
really
was the most fulfilling
volunteer
work
she had ever done
,
but
emotionally
draining.   Holding
Se
an’s hands as he passed on was beautiful.  Death did not frighten her.  She
knew
her friend
was at peace.
I
t
was not always that way. 
Sean
had no family to speak of having had no children, and all of his
three
brothers and sister
had already
passed on
.
It astounded her at the number of people that had no one to be with
them
at the end.  Alex often wondered if that was how she was going to end up. 
S
haking her head
at the morbid thought
she closed her eyes
waiting for the ticket she knew was on its way
.

             
B
ack in the patrol
car,
Seth
watched her thr
ough
the window.  H
e had already ran her plate number
and everything matched her paperwork.
He frowned deeper as he watched her place
her head back while raising
a
hand to her forehead.  A twinge of compassion went through him as he wondered what she was doing out at this time of night.
He was
already way past the end of his
shift;
his own fatigue was setting in.
Stepping out of the
car,
he decided
that he
was not
going to give her a ticket.
He b
e
lieved her
when she said that she was lost.
Walking back to
Alex’s
vehicle
, he wondered for a moment if he should introduce himself to his new neighbor.  Thinking better of it,
he knelt dow
n by her window. 
Her face was pale, drawn, with dark circles forming under her
now closed
eyes
.
  Good Lord had
she fallen asleep
?  He took that moment to look at her - s
he was not tiny
; in
fact,
he observed that
she had
pushed
the seat
quite a
distance
from the steering wheel
so that her long legs would comfortably reach the pedals.
He guessed she was about 5’10/5’11.
 
She was solid – he liked that.

             
“Ma’am?  Are you ok?”  Alex started….

             
“I am sorry, I didn’t realize
…”
  She stopped speaking as her eyes made contact with his
again, this time
at her level
.
 
She
had not
even heard him approach her car
.
 
She stared at him horrified as the heat rushed to her face
while
she
looked into the bluest
eyes she had ever seen. S
he liked his face.  He
was older than she had originally thought
.
She guessed he was late 30’s early 40’s and t
he l
ines
were deep
around his eyes
,
proof
that he did smile at some point during the day.
  For a
moment
,
she wondered what he would look like smiling instead
of
the stern expression
he currently wore
.
“Ma’am are you ok?”
he repeated.

             
“Will you please stop calling me ma’am
?
I
am not that old.
 
Yes,
I am just tired.
It has been a
very
long day
”