In the Heart of Forever (27 page)

I fisted his shirt in my hands and pulled him against me. He released my mouth and looked down at me, his eyes now blazing with hunger. My stomach tumbled knowing that I had done that to him.

He ran a hand down my cheek and grazed his thumb over my tingling lips, swollen from his rough but welcomed kiss. “You’re so beautiful.”

Tears clouded my vision and I looked away.

“My sister’s happy,” Rave said a moment later, his voice cracking.

I placed a hand on his cheek.

He leaned into it, kissing my palm, his eyes going glossy. “She doesn’t seem sad anymore. I should probably tell you, the rumors about her being in a mental hospital are true.”

I bit back a gasp.

Rave took a deep breath. “Years ago, after what our stepfather did, she put herself in the mental hospital, got help, went to school and now works there helping others. She’s amazing and that’s why I want you to talk to her.”

“I would love to,” I whispered. Knowing that Emilia had gone through what I had gone through helped in the sense that she would understand how I was feeling except for the fact that she didn’t kill her stepfather.

“Thank you.”

“So your visit went well today, then?” I asked.

He tensed under my touch and looked away.

I placed my hand on his arm, squeezing it in reassurance.

“Seeing her brought back so many memories of what was done to her and what I did.”

I frowned. “What you did?”

His jaw clenched and unclenched under the skin and he slowly turned his head back to mine. I flinched at the hatred in his green eyes. I knew what he was going to tell me. Satisfaction covered his features and he smiled. “I killed our stepfather.”

Chapter 35

A breath left me on a whoosh. I knew something had happened with his step father but I had no idea that it would involve a death.

“Jesse.”

I looked up at him.

“I did it out of self-defence.”

“You don’t have to explain…”

“Yes, I do,” he said, firmly.

“Rave, look at what I did today. It was self-defence for me, too. I won’t judge you and you definitely don’t need to explain anything to me,” I explained.

He kissed me lightly and rested his head on my chest, running his hand up and down my arm. “I want to tell you what happened.”

“Okay.”

“I walked in on Jim raping my sister and I snapped. I blacked out and I don’t remember most of it.” Sounds like what happened to me. “I only remember little bits and pieces of that night but I do remember pushing him down the stairs. I remember hearing his neck snap.”

My stomach rolled at that thought.

Rave’s body tensed around me and I ran my hands over his back, soothing him. Giving him the courage to go on. Maybe talking would help him. “The sad thing is, I don’t regret any of it.” He lifted his head and looked down at me, his eyes darkening with rage. “I would do it again in a heartbeat.” He rose off of me and sat on the edge of the bed. His broad back was stiff from years of strain and obvious guilt at what had been done to his sister.

I sat up and wrapped my arms around him, leaning my head against his shoulder. “You were protecting your sister.”

He sighed. “When I walked into your bedroom today…”

I cringed at the choppy memory.

“Do you remember anything that happened?”

Chewing my bottom lip, I looked away guiltily. “I remember some things. The biggest being that Allan had attacked me and that I shot him.”

“I will always be thankful to my brother for putting the nail gun under my bed.”

My gaze snapped to his.

Rave’s knowing green gaze flashed. “I heard your conversation with him. He saved you.”

I cupped his cheek in my hands and placed a hard kiss on his lips. “
You
saved me.”

He scoffed. “I didn’t, Jesse. I didn’t get there in time,” he bit out.

I looked up at him. “Don’t feel guilty about that.”

“I can’t help it.”

“Rave, it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know.”

“I shouldn’t have let you leave this…”

I kissed him harder, silencing him. “Rave, stop. You’ve showed me what love is. You made me not want to give up. I fought for
us
. For my mom. For other people who have been abused. You made me want to keep living.” My voice cracked and I cleared my throat.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Rave, shut up.”

A flicker of amusement coated his features. “Did you just tell me to shut up?”

I huffed and sat fully on his lap, straddling him. “Yes. I’m trying to tell you how I feel and you’re ruining it.”

His hands ran down my back and cupped my rear, pulling me against him. I gasped at the feel of him between my legs. I cleared my throat, mock glaring at him.

He smirked. “By all means, continue then.”

I curled my legs around him and picked at an imaginary fuzz on his shirt. “Rave, even though a part of me feels that you still deserve better.”

“Jesse,” he growled.

I rolled my eyes and kissed his full lips. “Do you want me to continue or not?”

His jaw tensed and the hands on my backside tightened. “Will you please hurry up?”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pushed him back onto the bed. “So impatient.”

“Tell me.”

My heart sped up at the command in his voice and I took a deep breath. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Rave moved quickly and had me on my back, under him in a moment’s time. He placed a hard kiss against my lips. “Jesse,” he husked, releasing my mouth.

I panted, running a hand down his cheek and placed a peck on his lips. “Hi.”

He smiled. “Hi.”

I wrapped my legs tighter around him and rubbed myself against him, making us both moan. “Rave, make love to me.”

His eyes flashed with hunger and lust. “I think we should wait.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s too soon after…” His voice trailed off and I nodded in understanding. As much as I didn’t want to wait, it did make sense but a part of me was still annoyed and frustrated.

“Fine,” I grumbled, pushing him. I was confused. My body and my mind were battling each other. It was like a war of emotions and it was wearing me out.

“Baby, please don’t be mad,” Rave grabbed my hips, holding me in place.

“Let me up,” I demanded.

“No.”

I glared at Rave and huffed.

“You’re cute when you’re mad,” he said, smiling.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not mad.”

He raised an eyebrow. “No? You’re not?”

I shook my head. “No, I’m not. Now let me go.” The next thing I knew, he was tickling me. Unexpected laughter escaped my lips and I squirmed and wiggled under him. “Stop, Rave. That tickles.”

He laughed, still torturing me by tickling my sides. “That’s the point.”

My laughter deepened as I tried escaping his evil hands. “Please, I can’t breathe.” Tears streamed down my cheeks but not from sadness. I was happy. It’s like the laughter broke something deep inside me, shattering all the walls I had built up the last couple of years. It cracked the emotional barrier that was put up around us.

Rave stopped tickling me and wiped my cheeks with his thumbs.

My giggles stopped and I took deep breaths, easing my racing heart.

“I love your laughs.” He said, quietly, kissing my cheek. “And your smiles.”

My eyes fluttered closed as he kissed my jaw.

“But more importantly…” He kissed the corner of my mouth. “I love you,” he whispered, before licking his way in between my lips.

I wrapped my hands around his neck and deepened the kiss. My skin hummed with anticipation. I needed him and he knew that but I could wait. I
would
wait for him. I knew deep down it was too soon. The pain too fresh. When our moment came to be together again, it wouldn’t be planned. It would just happen and it would be perfect. “I love you, too.”

***

“Your mother has been awake for the last month…”

“Call the police, girl. I’ll deny everything and tell them about the accident.”

Hands gripped and kneaded my body, ripping at my clothes…violating me…

The sound of a nail gun went off. The bang screamed loudly in my ears.

“Jesse.”

I groaned. That voice.

“Jesse!”

I stirred awake. Sweat coated my skin, making my pajamas cling to my body. Looking around the room frantically, I realized that I was no longer at Allan’s. I was free.
Safe
.

Rave was looking down at me, his eyes filled with concern.

My heart was beating wildly against my chest and my hair was matted to my forehead. “What…what happened?”

“You were having another nightmare,” Rave said gently, pulling me tight against him.

I sighed and snuggled up to him, trying to fall asleep again. My stomach twisted with anxiety as memories of the past week crashed into my head.

It had been a week since Ren and Rave had taken me away from my step father’s place and a week since he had been put behind bars. After I testified, Rave couldn’t get me out of the courtroom fast enough. I never wanted to see Allan again and having the video proof of him attacking would make sure of it.

Rave and I didn’t go back to school. It was probably stupid on our parts to drop out of school when there were only weeks left until we graduated, but people knew about Allan and what he had done to me. Rave set it up that we both did correspondence instead. I tried insisting that he go back but he wanted to be with me. We would work together to get our diploma. It would be through the mail so we wouldn’t have to face anyone and it would be on my own time.

Ren went on with his daily life for the time being, working in the tattoo parlor. Rave helped him and left me to my own thing. Everything in my life had changed, except for these damn nightmares.

I took a deep breath and wiped the hair off of my face, my hands shaking. “Rave, I…” Tears threatened to escape and I bit back a sob.

“Shhh…“It’s ok, baby. He can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe. I’m here and I’m never letting you go.”

I rolled over and grabbed onto him, pressing against his hard body. I gripped him like he was my lifeline and I would drown without him. I assumed that as time went on, I would eventually get over everything that had happened but so far, I was wrong. As each day passed, my nightmares were getting worse and worse. It was like fear was permanently etched into my brain and even though Allan was in jail, I was still terrified of him. “I just want these nightmares to stop.”

Rave ran a hand down my back soothingly and kissed my head. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

I turned onto my side and pulled his arm over me, curling our fingers together. “I think I need to talk to your sister.”

He kissed my shoulder and nodded. “Okay. Whenever you are ready, just let me know.” He placed an arm under my head and hugged me to him. Protecting me from the onslaught of my nightmares. “I love you, baby,” he whispered.

My heart swelled. I don’t think I would ever get used to hearing him say that. “I love you, too.”

“I love hearing those words come out of your mouth.” His voice deepened and he released my hand, running his fingers down my side to my hip.

I turned onto my stomach and trailed kisses up his arm that was still under my head, until I reached his waiting mouth.

I licked his full bottom lip and cupped his cheek. I deepened the kiss, pushing my tongue in between his lips.

He groaned and ran a hand up the back of my leg. “Jesse.”

“I just want to forget. Please.”

He hesitated before his fingers caressed the sensitive skin under the flesh of my ass, making goose pimples rise on my skin.

I ran my fingers through his nape and lightly tugged at his hair.

He growled against my mouth and pulled down my panties.

I lifted my hips as he pulled them completely off of me and I inwardly jumped for joy that the fear from my nightmares were slowly receding the more Rave touched me.

He released my mouth and trailed kisses down my jaw to my shoulder, lightly nipping as he went. My body hummed and ached for him but I waited patiently, anticipating on what he would do next.

He rose to his knees and moved behind me, gently massaging my skin. He lifted my shirt, and pulled it off of me, leaving me naked under him.

I stretched my arms out under the pillow and sighed in peaceful bliss as he pleased my body.

He moved my hair from my nape and kissed my neck, his hot breath scorching my skin. “Are you okay?”