In the Life (31 page)

"So is she gonna make you do it." Sherrod shook his head.

"Naw, she is always talking about what she wants to do, but never does anything but bug me about it. Ain’t nothing going to get done in that damn place. And she know she don't have the money for it either."

Jackson brought Sherrod back to his room. He noticed Sherrod look over to Alonzo's bedroom door as they passed it. The door was closed so he couldn't see inside.

"He aint here," Jackson said reading his mind.

"Oh okay. I figured that." Sherrod entered Jackson’s room and took a seat on the bed. Jackson followed suit.

"Have you given my proposal anymore thought?"

"Yeah, I have," Jackson replied.

"And what is the verdict? Any change?"

"Actually, yeah, I think that we could give it a try. It would benefit us both like you said. My only reservation about the whole thing was would it bring any tension with either of our relationships with Alonzo."

"It doesn't have to," Sherrod tried to assure him. "After all, Alonzo did put you in this predicament. He should understand you needed a way out and he knows my situation."

"True, but let’s be completely honest here. We have tap danced around this long enough. Am I crazy or is there something between us?"

"There is," Sherrod answered back without a moment of hesitation.

"So tell me how exactly do you plan on living with me but being with him?"

"Jackson, let me tell you something. In all honesty, since you said we are being completely truthful right now, I wish that I could have gotten to know you better when I had the chance. I wish that we could have made something happen a long time ago. Back then, I didn't really know who I was. Well, I mean I knew, but I had planned on never acting on those impulses. I am bisexual. I get it now. There is no denying that I like the softness of a woman's curves as much as the strength in a dude's arms. Meeting guys the way that I met Alonzo was an experiment for me. I had never met or talked to no dudes online before."

"So what is it about him that makes you want to be with him?"

"I don't know. He is funny. He is a good person. When things are good between us, I am happy." Sherrod shifted over more to where Jackson was seated. He placed his hand on top of Jackson's which was placed on his lap. "But I know that I would be much happier with you."

Sherrod's words were a bittersweet symphony to Jackson's ears. He wanted his roommate's man so badly. Could Sherrod ever truly be his? His thoughts were silenced by Sherrod's kiss. It was so gentle. Sherrod's tongue traced Jackson's top lip as their mouths closed around each other’s.

Jackson felt Sherrod's weight press against him as he lay down on the bed. Sherrod positioned himself to be directly on top of him. They kissed and groped each other’s bodies. They were more interested in being intimate than being overtly sexual.

Their hands searched out every curve, muscle, and indentation of the others' body before clothes could even be removed. Sherrod was the first to take something off. He pulled his t-shirt off without taking his necklace off too in the process. Jackson sat up a little so that he could do the same. He wanted to feel his skin up against Sherrod's. Hot flesh against hot flesh. Sherrod's necklace and cross pendant grazed Jackson's chest as Sherrod leaned down to continue the kiss.

The lovemaking was everything that Jackson had dreamed it would be. Between the things that he had heard at work long ago and Alonzo’s recent sexual accounts, expectations had been built up high. Even seeing what Sherrod was working with was an event all in its self. It was almost seeing the mythical Phoenix after hearing all the fairy tales. Tracy would definitely be embarrassed to stand by this man naked.

Every part of Jackson’s body tingled as he lay exhausted next to Sherrod. They were both deeply satisfied. Neither thought about how deep of a problem this could have gotten them in. They only thought about each other as they cuddled underneath the sheets.

Chapter 16

It had been the most restful sleep that Jackson had in a while. But why? He had betrayed his roommate, acted against his morals, and given the best of him to a man whose heart was with another. Under normal circumstances, Jackson would not have done any of this. Even though he wanted Sherrod, he would have never tried to seduce him away from another man.

Jackson stretched out in his bed. Sherrod had left hours before. He had probably gotten only three good hours of rest before he hopped up to leave. Jackson had accepted the kiss on the forehead that he was given and then rolled back over in bed. The night was too good to be tainted by a rude awakening by Alonzo. It wasn't until after Jackson had awakened and turned on the television that Alonzo came home. Jackson could hear his footsteps get closer and closer until there was a knock at his front door. Sherrod must not have closed the door all the way because the door creaked open with the first knock.

"Hey. Glad you are up. You got a minute?"

"Yeah," Jackson said as he motioned for Alonzo to come in. Alonzo quietly came into the room and sat on the bed. Jackson, who was already put off by his roommate's prior actions, hoped that this did not signify the beginning of a long conversation. He did not feel like hearing it.

"I have not been completely honest with you about me moving out."

"Uh huh?" Jackson saw Alonzo's whole demeanor change. He was solemn and showed seriousness that he had never showed before. His eyes darted towards the floor as tears began to form.

"I want to go home because of my mom. My mom needs me and I don't know what else to do." Alonzo's voice started to crack as he spoke. The tears came down freely. "She has cancer and I… I don't want to lose her. I know that I have taken her for granted sometimes but this is my mom! I never thought she would never be around."

Alonzo was a weeping mess. Jackson could tell that he was trying to be strong, but it wasn't working. His voice ached of sorrow and worry. The boy was in pain and all that Jackson could do was wrap a warm arm around him.

"They had said that the prognosis was looking better and better every day. Bullshit! She is sicker than ever. She can barely find the strength to walk sometimes. Medical bills are bogus as hell so I figure that if I move back home maybe I could help contribute to the bills. I even got this second job so that I could help out. I found this strip club that I could work at that I thought could bring in major money, but I can't do it. I lied to you about what the job was and to Sherrod as well. I told him that it was some internship cause I didn't want him to look at me funny. I didn’t end up doing it though. I couldn't. It wasn't me. I start work at a Family Dollar next week as a cashier. Between that and the money I make already, maybe that will at least take care of the house bills."

"So that’s where you been all these nights? Working?"

"No. I have been at the hospital with her, not Craig. I know he would kick my ass if he knew that lie I told." Alonzo tried to laugh to keep from crying. "I just couldn't say the word. I couldn't admit that my mom was slowly dying of cancer."

"I understand." Jackson rubbed his friend’s back a little.

"Cancer." Alonzo paused after saying the word as if really thinking about the meaning of it. "Cancer. My mom has cancer."

"But she will be okay," Jackson tried to console his friend. They are finding new treatments every day."

"Yeah, and you need money for them treatments too. And we don't have it." Alonzo looked over to his friend with two eyes full of tears. "I am so sorry for lying to you. Can you please forgive me?"

"Of course." Jackson brought him in for a hug. Upon hugging his friend, a big wave of guilt him. He had just spent the most lovely night with his man.

"Enough about me," Alonzo said pulling away. "So have you found out what you are gonna do?"

"Well, Sherrod and I were talking and he said something about him moving into your room. You know with his grandmother bugging him and all." Jackson braced himself for Alonzo's reaction, but all he got was a big smile from him.

"Yes! That is great! Do it, man. Oh my God, that is wonderful. I have been so worried about you landing on your feet and I know that I must have been the most horrible friend for not being honest in the first place. But this is perfect. With me moving back home to my mom and Sherrod with his grandmother, I thought that we would never spend any type of time together. Now, I don't have to worry about that."

Alonzo pulled Jackson in for a big hug. A weight had been lifted of his shoulders. The troubled boy's worries were dissipating and joy was taking its place. "Wow, it is gonna be like I never left now. I can still have a place to hang no matter how things stress me out. God works in mysterious ways!" Alonzo was crying his hardest. Jackson once again tried to console him.

"Yeah, man. Everything is going to be okay. This will always be home." Jackson felt like the ultimate Judas. Here he was trying to console the friend he had just cursed out to high heavens earlier.

"I know." Alonzo dried the tears from his face. He tried to compose himself for the next topic. "So, I saw Tracy at the club last night. What is going on with the two of you?"

"Nothing."

"Here you go with this nothing shit. As fine as he is, something is popping. I tried to ask him about it last night and he ain’t say shit. He said he tried to call you one day but your phone kept going to voicemail. Other than that and a few free drinks, I couldn't get anything out of him. Please tell me you ain’t ignoring his calls."

Jackson then took the time to clue his friends on everything. Alonzo forgot about his problems for a minute and sat on pins and needles to hear Jackson's story. The juice that Jackson was dishing was too good. Alonzo was in disbelief that a man like that could have such shortcomings.

"I don't know about any calls, but I wouldn't ignore his calls," Jackson finished off by saying. "On second thought, I more than likely would." Alonzo laughed. He needed the release.

"You are so horrible. I so wished that you could find what I have with Sherrod. Jackson, I am so happy. I wake up feeling like a new man. I know that I am a bit of a partier, but with Sherrod at home waiting for me, everything else feels so played. There’s nothing out there for me. I ain’t sprung, but I am happy. Just promise me that you will be open to love when it comes." Alonzo had a warm smile on his face as he rose from the bed.

Jackson grinned and nodded, but couldn't say anything. What had he done?

Chapter 17

"That nigga is lying!" Mykel said enthusiastically as he and Jackson discussed Alonzo over an early dinner at Chili's. Jackson had been beating himself up over the whole thing all day. He had jumped to conclusions and then gave into his forbidden desires. As a result, he had betrayed a friendship.

"No, actually he isn't. After we talked, I asked about if his mother was still in the hospital. He said yeah so I called up there to talk to her. I did it half because I wanted to check out his story and half because I always liked his mom. When we first moved into the apartment, it was nothing for her to bring over food that she had cooked."

"So, you talked to her?"

"Sure did. And to tell you the truth, when I first heard Alonzo's explanation, I felt bad. But after all that I have done, I still checked up on him to see if he was telling the truth. Finding out that he was makes me feel even worse. Here Alonzo is going through hell and I still have to do background checks, that ain’t being a friend. And then to top it all off, he is so damn happy that Sherrod and I are going to be living together. It is like a weight off his shoulders. Now imagine how he would feel if he knew about what we did. I bet you he wouldn't be as happy that Sherrod is moving in."

"So when is he moving in?"

"I don't know. He probably is gonna do it pretty soon. Alonzo is already talking about keeping a lot of his stuff at the apartment so it wouldn't feel like he really is moving out. I don't know how much stuff Sherrod has but something tells me that it will be a packed room. Alonzo will probably still always be over when he isn't with his mom so I most likely won't feel much of a change."