In the Life (34 page)

"Sherrod?" Jackson questioned before being hushed with two lips pressing against his. The kiss took him by surprise but he relaxed into it. Sherrod pushed him against the wall and planted kisses all around his neck. Jackson became weak. He wanted to push Sherrod off because of their location, but being in the employee bathroom also made things hotter. It was so spontaneous. Jackson undid his apron string and let it fall down to his feet. Sherrod did the same and then directed his hands towards Jackson's backside. He worked his way through Jackson's uniform black slacks and groped his ass.

"Stop," Jackson said breathlessly. He didn't want it to stop, but it had to.

"Come on, baby," Sherrod said in between kisses. "I have wanted this ever since that night, just to touch you."

"No." Jackson finally felt the will to stop accepting those tender kisses. "I really mean stop."

Jackson pushed Sherrod away. He straightened his pants and underwear back into position and grabbed for his apron. Jackson could not help but notice Sherrod's raging hard on as he bent down to retrieve it. He grabbed Sherrod's apron as well and handed it to him.

"You might need to put this on to hide that tent you are pitching in your pants." Sherrod took the apron, but he did not laugh at Jackson's half assed attempt to make light of the situation.

"What do I got to do to get some attention here?"

"Sherrod, we have been through this. You know it is not a good idea for several reasons."

"I can make you happy," Sherrod stated confidently while bypassing the topic of their obvious obstacles. "Just tell me what you want."

"I don't think that right now is the best time nor is this a good place to get into this." Jackson started to make a move for the door, but Sherrod stopped him.

"No, really. What do you want from a man? From a relationship? I want to know." Jackson turned back around to Sherrod. His face was soft and sincere.

"Okay. Well, I want intimacy. I want a relationship that is based on things way deeper than sexual attraction."

"Me too." Sherrod stepped forward to give Jackson another kiss, but Jackson stopped him. His phone started vibrating again, but he ignored it.

"I want someone who knows my needs before I do. I want someone who can navigate through my personality and bring out the best in me. I want someone who is my equal. You know, someone who can bring something to the table just like I will. I want someone who is everything that I am not because they are supposed to open my eyes to worlds unknown. I want someone who thinks that my annoying traits are cute and think that my more attractive ones are perfection. I want someone who does things for me not only because it makes me happy, but it also makes them happy just to see me smile. I want someone who loves life and believes that I am supposed to be a part of his."

"Well," Sherrod said after a brief pause. "Then it doesn't sound like you want too much. You just want to be loved. I want to give you all of that as much as you want it. I think about you all of the time, even in my dreams. Every time I see you, I just want to hold you and tell you how perfect you are because I know that you are perfect for me. How else would you explain how your smile not only brightens up a room, but my heart as well?"

Jackson felt himself get emotional, but he tried to not let his emotions get the best of him. He knew that Sherrod could be the one to make him appreciate life and love. However, he also knew that Alonzo would be crushed and that he didn't need that right now. Either way that this would go, someone would get hurt. Jackson thought about giving in, but he also thought about who Alonzo would turn to if things got worse with his mother.

"I gotta check on my table," Jackson said rushing out the restroom. He dared not look at Sherrod or he would feel even worse for leaving the small confines. On his walk back up front, his phone vibrated again. He had a voicemail. Jackson checked it before he got to the main dining area.

"Hey, I have been calling you. Call me back. Why are you avoiding my calls? If you don't call me back by five, I am coming over. Holla at me before then or I will be out front." Tracy's message left Jackson feeling uneasy. He sent him a text saying that he was at work hoping it would suffice. Jackson tucked everything to the back of his mind so that he could get through the workday.

Chapter 21

The front door closed with a loud thud as Jackson walked into his apartment. He still wore his apron from work. Jackson untied the double knot of the apron string and tossed it on the sofa. Knowing that he still had to get ready for his date with Tracy, he didn't stop to crash. Jackson would have made it all the way to his room if it had not been for his roommate. Alonzo emerged from his room with a devious, knowing look on his face. This same expression was usually followed up with a day's full of juicy gossip.

"So you got a call here on the house phone. Actually you got several."

"From who?" Jackson asked continuing to his room. He started stripping off his uniform as he talked to Alonzo.

"All from Tracy. The dude must really like you cause he was blowing up this phone. And you must really like him too cause you usually don't give out the house number."

"I didn't give it to him."

"You didn't? Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Jackson said slowly after scanning his memories for such a moment. Alonzo shrugged and left Jackson to get dressed.

Something was definitely not right and it was plaguing Jackson's mind as he continued to get ready. How did Tracy get the number? Maybe he had given it to him. But when? Jackson didn't really give that number out that much. He couldn't even remember the number half of the time. While pondering over this subject, the memories of Tracy's earlier message came to mind. Tracy had said that he was prepared to ride to Jackson's apartment if he did not call him back. What kind of behavior was that?

"Maybe I am thinking about this too much," Jackson said aloud to himself. Perhaps it was just pre-date jitters. The last date had gone so well that they both were probably a little antsy. That was what it was. It was all nerves at play.

Tracy was there, right on time to pick Jackson up for the date. They shared in the usual amount of small talk. The theatre had a good number of patrons, but the two men found great seats towards the back. They managed to sit on the very back row with the nearest movie goers as far as six chairs down and a row up. Tracy had his arm around Jackson for the whole movie. Tracy's body up against his felt so good to Jackson. The one thing that Jackson hated about the gay lifestyle was not always being able to be affectionate in public like straight couples. If you walk by a strapping young man kissing his lovely girlfriend, it is viewed as something so sweet and natural. However, if two men were even seen holding hands, it was blasphemous. So here in the theatre with Tracy close to him, Jackson felt at peace.

After the movie, they went out to eat at the Cheesecake Factory downtown.

Surrounded by warm colors of browns and yellows with whimsical décor, Tracy and Jackson talked over a basket of bread while they waited for their food. Thankfully, their wait for a seat had not been too long. Jackson made a conscious decision to keep his hands under the table. Otherwise, he might keep reaching for the bread and get full off of it.

"So you talk about going back to school, but what do you want to do? What would you major in?" Tracy asked Jackson while they were on the topic of their dreams and aspirations. Tracy had already confessed to wanting to do physical therapy.

"Well, I don't know. When I first went to college, I didn't want to go. I was only doing it because of my mom and what she wanted me to do. I entered with my major being undecided so I just took basic classes."

"Did you do well in them?"

"I could have done a lot better if I had applied myself. If I had been focused enough at the time and wanted to actually be there, I think I could have gotten all A's. I was making C's without much effort. I wasn't going to class half of the time and I definitely wasn't into the whole studying thing."

"You partied then?" Tracy smiled. "I can dig that."

"Actually, I didn't really do that either. I mean, I did my fair share, but nothing major."

"So you never said what you want to do. You have to have decided something since all this time has passed."

"I have thought about teaching."

"Oh, like your mom?"

"Yeah, you know it is in my blood. My mom and my grandmother were both teachers and they loved it. I just hope that…" Jackson stopped mid-sentence after really digesting Tracy's last remark. "Wait, I didn't tell you that my mom was a teacher."

"Yes, you did." Tracy sat straight up in his chair. He knew that he had been caught in a big lie and now he was on the defensive.

"No, I didn't. And another thing, Alonzo told me that you called the house phone, but I know
that I didn't give you the number. Oh, and then in the car, you made a remark about me being a Sagittarius which I don't remember talking about either."

"Okay, I admit. A brother did a little research, that's all."

"Research? What do you mean research?" Jackson's body became stiff. He was now extremely uncomfortable and not feeling the man sitting across from him. Tracy's eyes were apologetic as he began talking.

"Look, I have encountered some real strange folk before. I did it more as a precaution I guess. My brother works in the police department and I just gave him your license plate number. He saw that it was in your mother's name and so that's how I found out some things about her."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You went through my family's records and shit? Well, I hope you had fun." Jackson grabbed his jacket and got up from the table. He was so disgusted and troubled by Tracy's confession. "Bye Tracy and please lose both phone numbers and any other shit you dug up."

Jackson stormed out of the restaurant and walked to the nearest bus stop. He was thankful that he had dollar bills in his pocket for bus fare. Tracy started calling Jackson's phone over and over. He no doubt waited to pay for their drinks, cancel the food, and was now out looking for him. Jackson could imagine Tracy walking through the streets trying to locate him. The bus pulled up within minutes and Jackson hopped on just as he saw Tracy round the corner. Jackson cut his phone off and found a seat in the back. He looked towards the window and could see Tracy jogging towards the bus, but this was one ride that Tracy was sure to miss.

Chapter 22

Meeting up at least once or twice with Mykel outside of work was becoming a weekly tradition. After dishing out Bennigan's to hundreds of guests a week, the two friends like to go to different places and have someone wait on them for a change.

Jackson couldn't wait to see Mykel today especially since he had not gotten a chance to really talk to him for a few days. He still hadn't told Mykel about Tracy and the date.

"It was past a disaster," Jackson started. "Well, to be fair, it started out okay. The movie was cool. There was some touchy feely stuff going on in the theatre. But it all went south at dinner when he told me that he had done research on me."

"What kind of research?"

"He got some police hookup! He used my fucking license plate to find all this shit out. I knew something was off when he called me on the house phone before the date."

"The house phone?
Why?"

"Because I ain't give him the damn number."

"Damn, that dude is a stalker. For real."

"Who you telling? And lately he has been calling both numbers, my cell and the house, and leaving wacked out messages. At first the messages were calm and apologetic. But now, he seems angry and shit."

"Maybe you should go to the police." Jackson dismissed the suggestion and went back to eating his salad.

"Naw, I don't think it is that crucial. He will get the hint and just leave me alone."