In the Name of Love (32 page)

‘About time!’ Bunny exclaimed as Darcy kissed her hello. ‘You’re late for everything. Please say you won’t be late for my wedding? That’s
my
prerogative.’

‘The dress looks good,’ Darcy forced herself to say.

‘Well, come on, you have to get yours on now. I’m meeting Hugo’s parents at the Connaught for cocktails.’

‘Oh, yeah, Simon will try and get along for one drink before dinner,’ Perdita drawled. Then she exchanged glances with Bunny and both sisters looked faintly guilty. Darcy realised that she had not been invited.

‘I was going to ask you of course,’ Bunny put in, ‘but Hugo has asked Drew and I thought it might be awkward.’

Before she’d met Kris, Darcy might have felt hurt that she was being treated like this. Now she couldn’t have cared less. She shrugged. ‘It’s okay, I’m busy anyway.’ And, picking up the dress, she walked over to the cubicle and pulled across the pale pink silk curtain. It was the first time she had tried on the dress and while the colour made her blue eyes seem bluer, the style exposed her arms, which she usually kept covered up. It was going to be impossible to hide the scars
unless
she kept her arms clamped to her sides, which was hardly a good look. Her sisters must be aware of the scars, though they had never mentioned them.

She pulled back the curtain and stepped outside.

‘Oh, fab, it fits really well. Hardly needs any alterations,’ Bunny commented, while the seamstress got to work putting in pins to indicate where the fabric could be taken in.

‘Your hair is going to be styled in a sleek French twist,’ Bunny continued, ‘with a pearl tiara.’

If Darcy hadn’t been feeling so tense about her arms she might have smiled as the look was so far from the one she would go for on her own wedding day. If she mentally channelled Kate Moss, her sister was more of a Kate Middleton. Glossy, perfect, unthreatening. And – if Darcy was feeling bitchy – bland.

‘Um, I wondered if I might be able to have a wrap round my shoulders, maybe in the same material?’

Bunny frowned. ‘No, it will ruin the look and it won’t be cold so you won’t need it.’

‘I wasn’t thinking of the cold,’ Darcy said quietly, ‘I meant because of my arms.’ She turned her right arm up, showing off the scars she usually kept hidden. Then quickly turned it back.

‘Fuck! I’d completely forgotten about those.’ Bunny looked aghast.

‘I know, it was very inconsiderate of me to have been so unhappy that I once self-harmed.’

‘There’s no need to be sarcastic,’ Perdita put in, backing up Bunny as always. ‘What about a wrap, Bunny? It’s not a bad idea.’

But Bunny had turned into Bridezilla, and shouted back, ‘I wanted simple, elegant lines. It’s so typical of you, Darcy, to end up ruining everything! Drew was thinking of getting back with you, did you know that? But oh no, you blew that by seeing that low-life Kris! Do you know how upset Mummy is? You’re
so
selfish.’

The designer muttered something about needing extra pins and tactfully left the room.

Darcy looked her sister in the eye. ‘Drew treated me like shit. Now I’ve met someone who makes me feel good about myself, and you don’t like that, do you? I’m sorry I’m not the sister you want. You’re not the sister I want either.’ And she swept into the changing room and pulled off the hated dress, leaving it on the floor. Bunny was sobbing with Perdita comforting her as Darcy walked out of the room. She heard Bunny say, ‘It’s my wedding day … why does
she
have to spoil it?’

Darcy might have put on a tough image in front of her sisters, but in the taxi she cried all the way to Charlie’s flat where she was seeing Kris. Thankfully he was the one who opened the door to her, and not Charlie. Darcy didn’t think she could deal with anyone else being horrible to her.

‘Hey, what’s the matter?’ he asked. The concern on his face made her cry even harder. He put his arm round her and led her to his bedroom where she blurted out every humiliating and hurtful detail about the disastrous dress fitting.

‘I don’t even want to go to her wedding,’ she finished
up.
‘And Bunny wouldn’t care if I wasn’t there anyway.’ She sniffed and brushed the tears away.

‘I’m sure that’s not true and I’m sure she regrets saying what she did,’ Kris replied.

He didn’t know her sister! ‘Bunny would never admit to being in the wrong. She always has to have the fucking moral high ground.’

‘Why don’t you send a text telling her you didn’t mean what you said?’

‘But I
did
mean it!’

Kris sighed. ‘It will be stalemate then. And it seems to me that you’re the only one in your family with any sensitivity. If you don’t make the first move, then they won’t. It
is
her wedding day, people get stressed.’

Through her hurt Darcy could see that Kris was talking sense, but part of her wanted to dig in her heels, say it was all Bunny’s fault and that
she
should be the one to apologise. But maybe that’s what she had been doing for far too long. If Darcy made the first move, then she could let go of the hurt. She could move on, rather than being permanently stuck as the wronged sister.

‘How did you get to be so wise?’ she asked, leaning her head against Kris’s shoulder.

‘I’m great at giving advice, not so good at acting on it,’ he replied, planting a kiss on the top of her head. ‘My mum’s going to be here in a minute, are you going to be okay?’

‘I’ll be fine now, thanks.’

‘I’d better go and help Charlie with supper.’ He paused in the doorway, ‘D’you know if anything has
happened
at work to upset her? Or if she had a row with Felipe? She seems really down. I tried asking her what was wrong but she just said she was tired. It’s not like her at all.’

Darcy shook her head, ‘Not that I know of.’ She didn’t add that Charlie would never confide in her.

In the kitchen Charlie was busy grating Parmesan cheese. She muttered ‘Hi’ when Darcy and Kris walked in, but didn’t stop what she was doing.

‘Can we do anything to help?’ he asked.

‘No, thanks, it’s all under control,’ Charlie replied. She turned to Darcy. ‘Is mushroom risotto okay with you?’

‘Fantastic, thanks. I’m vegetarian, so it’s perfect.’

Kris was right, Charlie did seem down and she looked exhausted. Darcy wondered what could be wrong with her. She had a brilliant career, a gorgeous boyfriend and a lovely family. Hers was the perfect life, wasn’t it?

‘Are you sure we can’t help?’ Darcy asked again, feeling bad about leaving Charlie to do all the work and wanting to make a good impression on Lori.

But Charlie shook her head. ‘I’m fine, really. Go and have a glass of wine. You might need it before Mum arrives.’ She gave Kris the briefest of smiles. ‘Have you warned Darcy what Mum’s like when she meets someone new?’

‘Not yet,’ he replied, ‘I was just about to.’ He turned to Darcy. ‘Mum is going to ask you shed loads of questions. She can’t stop herself, but she means well.’

Darcy thought of her own mother, who had made
no
effort to be polite to Kris on first meeting him. No one could ever accuse Eleanor of being well-meaning.

From the moment she arrived Lori did not stop talking and asking questions. But it was impossible not to warm to her. She was so funny and generous with her compliments, telling Darcy that she was beautiful, teasing Kris for having landed such a looker for a girlfriend.

‘You’re just like a model!’ she exclaimed. ‘Look at your gorgeous skin! You’ll have to tell me what you use on it.’ She couldn’t have been more different from Darcy’s own mother as she flitted around the flat, wearing leggings and a brightly patterned tunic. The only time she seemed slightly lost for words was when Kris asked how his dad was.

‘He’s fine, busy with work and the cricket team. He sends his love.’

‘Does he?’ Kris asked. He didn’t sound convinced.

‘Yes,’ Lori insisted. ‘And he’s really pleased about the acting job, we all are.’ But she quickly asked him what the rest of the cast was like, to avoid any more questions about his dad.

Charlie stuck her head round the living-room door then. ‘Supper’s ready.’ Lori waited until she was out of earshot before saying, ‘Is everything okay with Charlie? She seems a bit out of sorts.’

‘I wondered that, but she says everything’s fine.’

Lori raised her eyebrows. ‘That sounds like Charlie – always good at putting on a brave face. Maybe she’s just missing Felipe.’

Charlie was in torment. She had been in torment
ever
since she had decided what she had to do. And what made it even harder was that she felt she couldn’t confide in anyone. She knew that her friends and family would only try and persuade her that the riding phobia didn’t need to affect her relationship with Felipe, but they were wrong. Charlie kept thinking of the look of anguish in his eyes when he finally told her about Audaz. It wasn’t fair that he couldn’t confide in her. She couldn’t be responsible for putting him under that pressure on top of everything else. And she knew that she would never be able to watch him compete in the Olympics. It would be so much better if she ended it now.

Usually she loved seeing her mum but tonight she was finding it incredibly hard to be around her.

‘So how’s Felipe? You’ve hardly mentioned him,’ Lori commented, as they were halfway through dinner. Well, everyone else was halfway through the risotto, Charlie had only managed a couple of mouthfuls.

Please! Not this, not now
. Charlie avoided eye contact.

‘I think he’s okay. Obviously he’s got a lot on his mind with the Olympics.’ She paused, willing herself to go through with the lie. ‘To be honest, I’m feeling a bit bored. He’s so obsessed with his sport, there’s not much left over. It takes over his whole life, and you know that I’m not interested in riding any more.’

Lori, Kris and Darcy all stopped eating and looked at her in disbelief. ‘This is a bit sudden, isn’t it? I thought you were getting on brilliantly.’ That was Lori.

Charlie couldn’t look her mum in the eye as she replied, ‘Not lately.’

‘Did something happen last weekend?’

God! Her mum knew her so well.

‘Nothing, that’s just it. I think some of the spark might have gone.’ She was desperate to change the subject now, knowing that she couldn’t keep up the pretence for much longer.

‘He must be under a huge amount of pressure with his training … I mean, can you imagine what it must feel like to be picked to compete in the Olympics? Of course he’s going to be obsessed. But he’s a good bloke, Charlie, and he really likes you,’ Kris put in.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Charlie wanted to scream at them.

‘You’ll work it out, love,’ Lori said optimistically.

They had no idea. Then, thankfully, Darcy of all people seemed to realise that Charlie was suffering and asked Lori about her job. It felt like a rare flash of empathy, and Charlie was grateful. For the rest of the evening Felipe wasn’t mentioned. When Charlie went to bed she saw she had several messages from him. She didn’t reply and made herself switch off her phone.

In the morning she was hoping to leave for work before anyone else was up – specifically Lori. She couldn’t face any more of her mum’s questions and hated having to lie to her. But Lori was already up, dressed and having breakfast in the kitchen. Typically she had made herself at home. She had switched on the radio and changed the station from Radio 1, which Charlie usually had on, to Radio 2. Chris Evans was nattering away cheerfully. It was far too upbeat for Charlie’s dark mood.

‘Morning, love! D’you want a cup of tea?’ Lori called out happily. She could match Chris Evans for enthusiasm first thing.

‘Just a quick one, Mum, I don’t want to be late.’

‘I’ve made a fruit salad – it will be great with some natural yoghurt and honey, and you look like you could do with a vitamin C boost. You seem tired.’

‘I’ve been busy at work is all.’ Charlie had no appetite but she forced herself to accept a bowl of fruit salad from Lori.

‘Darcy’s a sweetheart, isn’t she? I thought you said that she was posh and stuck up?’

Charlie shrugged as she toyed with a slice of kiwi fruit. ‘That’s the vibe she gave off at work, but yes, she’s much nicer than I realised.’

‘And Kris seems so happy with her, doesn’t he? He’s almost back to his old self. So now I’ve just got to worry about you.’ Lori was looking at her daughter with concern. ‘Are you going to tell me what is going on between you and Felipe?’

This was exactly the conversation Charlie had wanted to avoid.

‘It’s what I told you, Mum – riding is everything to him and I’m bored by it.’

Lori hesitated. ‘And this has nothing to do with your accident?’

‘Of course not – I’m totally over it now,’ Charlie almost snapped back.

‘So you haven’t had any more panic attacks? Because you can tell me, love. I am your mum, you don’t have to pretend.’

‘No, I’m fine.’ Charlie knew how defensive she sounded so she stood up abruptly and said, ‘I know you love Chris Evans but I’m not old enough to listen to Radio 2,’ and switched over to Chris Moyles.

‘Don’t be cheeky! I’m not old either. I’m younger than Madonna, don’t you forget that!’

Charlie blew her a kiss. ‘Just don’t think that gives you the right to parade around in thigh-length boots and a pointy bra.’

‘Ooh, and there was I thinking I’d wear that on my next night out with your dad!’ Lori shot back.

‘And on that bombshell, I’ve got to go to work, Mum.’ She gave Lori a quick hug. Just as Charlie was thinking that she had escaped any further questions, her mum said, ‘You would tell me if there was something wrong, wouldn’t you?’

Charlie hated having to lie, but somehow she managed to say, ‘You know I would.’

Chapter 22

CHARLIE AVOIDED SPEAKING
to Felipe for the next two days by screening all her calls and texting him that she was frantically busy at work. She knew that if she spoke to him she wouldn’t be able to go ahead with her plan, and she
had
to go through with it. It was killing her, but she saw it as proving her love for Felipe. She also managed to avoid speaking to Zoe, who had a sixth sense for knowing when something was up with her friend.