“No… you can’t be a warrior right now. You’re in the company of a beast. I told you I trump you. YOU’RE MINE…” The words sent chills up her damn spine, and the very thing she hated, she was becoming, and what she was becoming, her body liked… and what her body liked sickened her, made her cum all over herself once again. The aftershocks of his titillations and refusals sent her into overdrive. His lips pressed onto hers, up and down, grazing them ever so slightly. Then, the moist tip of his tongue coaxed her mouth open and slid inside. He lay between her thighs, his hard, long legs moving and grinding against her zone, and she melted below him, debilitated by her limitations, yet stronger in her love for him.
“Ahhhh.” she sighed when he removed his tongue from her mouth and gently caressed the sides of her neck. He left her there in limbo and kept on loving on her, kissing her shoulder blades…kissing her chin and right jawbone. She shuddered as his knuckles suddenly grazed her saturated zone. He moved between her legs, grunting softly along the way until… “Ahhhh! Ahhhh!”
“Uhhh…” He pushed his solid, thirsty dick hard and fast inside her. “Mmmm… give it to me, baby!” He plunged harder, his strength overwhelming, filling her up, sending her through erotic waves of ecstasy as he pushed her open. “Stop it! Don’t run… stop running!” He yanked her closer, made her take his pounding thrusts. Her body cried with pleasure while her mind tried to tell her once again to fight, to demand freedom… but she told the cerebral bastard to shut up for she had other things to tend to…
“Uhhh!” The muscles in his arms flexed, taut and hard, against her body, keeping her in the special spot he desired.
No fighting.
No trying to escape.
He had her.
“Ahhh…” Taken off guard, a delicious sensation danced within her pussy as he kept on, taking her, as the bed shook beneath them. Another orgasm, and then another… Sweet surrender had its share of delightful rewards.
“Mmmm hmmmm, you like it.” She could hear the smile in his words and he slowed just a bit to place a delicate kiss on the top of her head, eliciting a boisterous laugh. He didn’t stay in the slow lane long, for his hips got to working again, moving like a piston between her thighs… and then, words she’d never heard him say before tumbled out of his mouth…
“I want a child with you…”—his tone so calm, so cool.
Had she misunderstood him?
Her eyes widened under the blindfold as the man continued to thrust inside of her, making love to her with due diligence.
Perhaps she had…
She stiffened, but he overwhelmed her senses, hard, overpowering—like an anaconda squeezing her to death as he loved her down.
“Have my baby…” His lips hovered so close to her ear, she couldn’t ignore him… couldn’t explain his utterances away. “I wanna get you pregnant! Uhhh!” She was suddenly seized with fear as her brain waved a white flag, sent smoke signals, but once again, her body betrayed her…
She fell into an orgasm, his shocking truths rendering her a total mess, a flesh covered case of confusion.
“Uhhh! Uhhh!” He slammed into her as if she were some brick wall, and she wanted to see his damn face! She struggled hard, yelling, screaming out as the blindfold prevented her from looking into the fucker’s eyes. Perhaps having mercy on her, he ripped the thing off and looked down at her, never breaking the pace of his thrusts. Her heart damn nearly froze from the intensity in his eyes…
“Oh my God… you’re serious…”
He didn’t say a damn word, just kept on, until he came harshly within her, shouting out, scratching at her as his pelvis crashed over and over into hers. She ran soothing hands along his back as he settled, his breathing finally getting to an even rhythm. Then, he untied her and though what he’d said terrified her, a part of her wanted to continue that conversation.
How surreal…beautifully unnerving.
Maybe he just said it in the throes of passion…
She tried to rationalize it away. Besides, they’d had this discussion prior to marriage. Her situation was complicated, he knew this…did he not remember? Of course he did…
She swallowed and hugged him hard.
“Nick…”
“Mmm hmmm…” he lazily murmured as he rolled off her, landing on his back as if needing to be free from her touch before she’d even ‘gone there.’
“You said that—”
“I know what I said,” he retorted, keeping his eyes closed as if utterly exhausted.
“Well.” She sat up, a cold chill sweeping through her, leaving her with nothing but arms covered in goosebumps. “What… what did you mean by that?”
He crossed his arms loosely over his forehead.
“I think you know what it means.”
“How could you…what?” She shook her head in confusion and threw up her hands. “I don’t understand this!”
“What I said was easy to understand; you’re just choosing to not comprehend it. I want a kid. I want you to have my baby, Taryn. I want a child with you,” he replied dryly.
“So, you just say something like that? Spring it on me and then that’s it?!”
He slowly opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. “Taryn, look, we’re married now. I could see you being annoyed if I hadn’t popped the question, just asked you to be a baby mama, but no… I married you, made a commitment.”
She looked away, though she knew he was right… She was afraid, and the fear was taking over, making a mess of all that was logical and within reason. The emotions ran the show, but she refused to admit this…
“You never told me you didn’t want any kids, Taryn. You said it might be hard to have a family of our own because the chemotherapy can sometimes have adverse effects on your egg supply, or the quality of them, and that at the time, you didn’t opt to get any preserved for the therapy. But you
also
told me that you took Lupron to help protect your fertility. I took that to mean that one day, you might be open to the idea of at least
trying
to conceive.”
“I do, I mean, I did. I also took Tamoxifen to help stay cancer free… it’s supposed to help.”
“And this is your last year on it, right?”
“Yes…”
“Is it safe for you to continue taking that and us trying to get pregnant?”
“Well, I think so… I mean, I really don’t know for certain, Nick. You’ve just thrown me for a loop, took me by surprise.”
He exhaled loudly and slowly closed his eyes again.
“You’re not on birth control anymore.” He sat up and leaned against the headboard. “You haven’t been on it since we’ve been together. No, longer than that, actually. You said it may increase chances of the cancer returning; the studies are contradictory, but you didn’t want to take that risk.”
“Right.”
“And then you said you doubt you can get pregnant without any fertility treatment, because of some family history stuff, and obviously the various cancer treatment ramifications.”
“Correct.”
“So, we’ve been making love without any form of birth control from the onset, no condoms, no nothing, and you’ve
never
gotten pregnant this whole time, Taryn. Shit, I might be the problem.” He shrugged. “I don’t know, but I have rarely had sex without using anything, so… I never really tested that theory. What I
do
know is that we have sex at least a few times a week, sometimes every day.” He sighed. “I think it’s fair to say you might be right… Something is wrong, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. I
never
gave up thinking we might have a family one day, Taryn.” He drew closer to her, drew her close to him. The look in his eyes reflected need… something she’d never seen in him before.
“You never told me definitely, Nick, that you wanted a family…” She looked into his eyes.
“…And I never told you I didn’t.”
They were quiet for a while, lying together, holding hands.
“Taryn.” He sighed. “I just didn’t want to put pressure on you, okay? But yeah… once I realized I was in love with you, I thought about it… all of it. I thought about us getting married, being together. I thought about us having fun, building a life together, then about you having my child, maybe a couple of kids, even.” He smiled.
“Alright now, don’t get ahead of yourself,” she teased.
“I want a little girl…” He lowered his head and she looked at him closely; her heart warmed at his words. “I want her to be like her mother… strong and beautiful.” He sighed. “I want… I want what I didn’t have. Can you blame me?”
The pain shone so clear in his eyes, and the love, too…
She framed his face with her palms, and laid a kiss upon his lips.
“Nick, before I got sick, I’d always imagined myself someday getting married and having a child. It’s just that… after the cancer, and the pain pill shit… I just.” She fell into a black hole, lost, feeling the pressure of the memories. “I figured it wasn’t in the cards, so to speak.”
Curling his fingers against her hips, he squeezed.
“But we don’t know what’s in the cards. That’s why life is so exciting and crazy, you know?”
She offered a weak smile and nodded in agreement.
“Are you afraid because I’m a recovering alcoholic and addict, too?” he whispered. “You think maybe I wouldn’t be a good father? You can tell me, baby… I won’t get mad.”
She swallowed, looked away, then looked back into his eyes.
“Believe it or not…no.” She smiled brightly at him. “If anything, I think what you went through would make you an even better father because you’d want your child to be healthy and happy. Of that, I’m sure, and a child being raised by people that are drinking themselves into a stupor and taking drugs or abusing pain medication would do just the opposite… Neither of us want that.”
“Okay… so, you want this, too. Good. I believed you did, but… I need to hear you say it because I don’t want to just hear what I want to hear, you know? So, say it to me… say you want to have my baby…”
She hated how her pussy clamped and grew wet at his words once again…
Why does it sound so damn sexy yet terrifying at the same time?!
“Yes.” She grinned, excitement growing within her gut. “Yes, I do…”
“Well, you’re scared of the unknown. I get it, baby. But you’re not alone in this. I’ll be with you every step of the way. I just want to try, okay? If it doesn’t happen, that’s fine. I’ll accept that and we can maybe look at other options, but I just want you to trust me, not be afraid, because I’m not going anywhere, okay?” He gripped her chin, made her turn towards him.
“Okay…” She mustered a larger smile.
“I asked you to marry me because I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Taryn. I want to have a family with you because I
know
you’d make a great mother, and I want to be a father, and I promise you, I’ll be the best one I can be.”
He searched her face before placing the gentlest of kisses on her lips, a kiss she returned with all that she had. They drew quiet once again as he pressed his forehead into hers. He caressed the side of her cheek with his fingertips, then laid her down on the sheets. She looked into his eyes, falling fast; he swept her away, made her feel safe while standing in an unsafe zone…
“I trust you…” she uttered, clasping her hands behind his neck while he knocked her knees farther apart. “Ahhh.” Her eyes fluttered when he entered her again. “I do… I trust… you…” she repeated, becoming slightly delirious as the delightful sensations of his perfectly timed thrusts took over her being.
“That’s what I’m here for… to guard the Queen.” He smiled between determined hip pumps as he sexily bit into his lower lip, skyrocketing her lust for him. “Now just sit back and relax.” He winked at her, quickening his pace. “I’ll handle the rest…”
…Three months later
“So, we really
don’t know for certain until you try but based on what you’ve shared, you’ve been trying, at least indirectly, for quite some time.”
Taryn nodded. “Yes.” She sat straighter in the hard wooden chair as she replied to the doctor. “I believe that if I were going to get pregnant, it would have happened by now.”
“Well that could very well be true. You say your husband has a hectic schedule?”
“Yes. We both do, but he made sure he was available to try and do this when he
needed
to,” she said, her cheeks getting flushed. “I’ve been tracking my cycle lately, just as suggested, so, he’d come home and I’d meet him there. We’d take care of it, and then he’d go back to work.”
“Okay, well, I do have some news for you. We looked at your husband’s sperm count, and it is pretty high, actually. Everything looks good. His health, overall, is good, too.” The man picked up a few pieces of paper, then studied his computer screen. “So, we can safely rule him out as the possible reason for a delay in conception. And, according to this, you’ve been having unprotected intercourse during your ovulation times consistently, to no avail, which you’ve already attested to once again.”
“Yes.” She toiled with her purse strap.
“Okay, so looking over your test results here, Taryn, I have some more news for you.”
“What?”
“It’s actually
not
your egg quality.” The man removed his glasses for a spell, wiped the bridge of his nose, then placed them back on.