“Yes!” someone called out.
“I never cried at my mother’s funeral. I refused. I never cried at Jonathan’s funeral either. I didn’t cry at Frederic’s funeral, so…I cried in a bottle. That’s what I did. I pretended those drops of alcohol were my tears, but they never really were a good replacement. Matter of fact, they made it all the worse. I was in the land of make-believe. I grew up in an atmosphere where boys wanted to be men, because our fathers were absent, and men don’t cry. But no men were there, so we tried to be our future selves, believing we didn’t think we’d even live to be an adult in the first place. We grew up right then and there.
“Once I made it out of that state of mind and got myself together, I put everything into being the best cop I could be. I wanted to prevent what happened to Jonathan and Frederic, somehow exonerate their deaths by doing ‘good deeds.’” He put his hands in quotes. “I was afraid to grieve, or to come even remotely close to it. You see, in our grief lies one of our most vulnerable states in our lifetimes. We are broken down, humbled, sad, missing someone, feeling pangs of guilt, replaying times we had with that person, and regretting things we said and wishing we’d said this or that before they left us.”
“It’s time to go,” Oliver whispered as he pointed up at the clock.
“Shut tha fuck up, man!” someone screamed out. “Fuckin’ asshole!”
“Nick, please continue,” Frieda quickly encouraged.
“Okay, damn, what was I saying?”
“You were talking about regretting not telling loved ones things before they passed away,” Frieda reminded.
“Yes, that’s right. So, if I stayed in that spot too long, the mourning phase, I was convinced it would take me outta here. I couldn’t tolerate it. I hated myself in some regard, but was completely unaware of this fact. And then, as my career began to suffer from my addiction, I realized that I just might be worth saving…but I knew what that would entail. I’d have to do
this
. I’d have to finally look at these three people I’d lost, their place in my heart, acknowledge it all and let
go
!” Tears streamed down his face. “And I’m ready, now!” he said, his voice breaking. “I miss you all so much! But it’s time to release it, time to make peace. Jonathan, Ma and Frederic, Go bless you! I hope to see you again; I am letting you go now, all the pain and guilt, too. I’m letting you all go, angels! YOU’RE FREE! I’m ready to say, ‘goodbye’! Descanse en paz. Te amo!” (Rest in peace, I love you!)
He covered his saturated cheeks with trembling, cold hands, shaking and shivering in his spot as his knees buckled. Before he fell to the ground, arms swarmed him, embraced him, all over his body…uplifting him, taking him higher and higher. Male and female voices of encouragement rained down on him. He sat cocooned in love, accepted in assurance, and forgiven in optimism. One voice stood out amongst the rest, and though he couldn’t see her, he could feel her warrior presence, and her words had him emit a heart-felt sigh…
“This is the first day of the rest of your life, Nick. Welcome home…”
T
he Red Hot
Chili Peppers crooned, ‘Under the Bridge’, an all time classic. Nick moved about in his seat, enjoying the music of yesteryear, which made him feel like a little kid all over again. It had been a rather mundane afternoon, but the sun glimmered in his eyes, and he was relaxed.
“’Sup Nick,” Travis, another resident he’d gotten cool with, said as he shuffled past.
“Hey man, how are you doing?” Nick leaned back and looked at the guy saunter by.
“Good…good.” And then the man disappeared down the hall.
After a few minutes, Naked Eyes crashed through the airwaves, ‘Always Something There to Remind Me.”
“Oh wow, the staff is really trying to make me smile today!” He chuckled as he tapped his foot to the beat.
“Oh, you like that song? Old music makes you happy…”
He shot his sights to in the direction of the warrior voice.
“This song is the shit! What if they mixed it up with like a salsa or reggae beat? Wouldn’t that be dope?”
“You need to stop!” Giggling, she approached him and sat right next to him.
“They’re playing good music today. I like this. Almost like we’ve got a DJ or something.”
She shook her head. “You are so silly… So, what have you been up to, today?”
“Just got out of a one-on-one with Charles… Before that, I was in the all male group.” He yawned. “In an hour and a half, I’m supposed to be going to ceramics. I think it’s pretty messed up how you convinced me to sign up for that class, and then you dropped out!” His brows bunched, causing her to burst out laughing.
“I wanted to take the poetry class and they were at the same time! I didn’t know it when I first signed up.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes and smirked. “Now I’m stuck in there making tiny vases. All of my shit ends up looking the same, like asses or some deflated dick.”
At this, she hollered, which had him almost fall off the chair in laughter, too.
“It’s the truth. I suck at it. I thought about dropping it, but I told myself I’d finish whatever I started in here.”
“Good. Besides, you may improve and it is a good stress reliever.”
“No, it’s not. It actually
causes
me stress!”
She started cracking up again.
“You could at least pretend to sympathize.” He smiled.
“What for? No sense in me frontin’… This is hilarious.”
He looked her up and down, studying her lips, the way they moved and wrapped carefully around each word.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Her eyes narrowed.
“Because you’re sexy…”
“Don’t look at me like that.” She bent down and ran her hand smoothly across her ankle as if she had a slight itch.
“Don’t tell me where to look. They’re my eyes and I’ll put them where I want to.”
“Don’t try to get messed up, now! Sitting there getting smart… You might be a cop out there.” She pointed towards the front of the building. “But in here, we are equal!” She laughed.
“Your lips are amazing,” he uttered, ignoring her threats and female bravado.
“Are they, now?”
“Yeah…”
She leaned in closer to him. “You want me to show you something really neat they can do?”
His heart beat a bit faster.
“You know I do…”
She winked at him and stood, as casual as can be.
“I’m going to my room,” she whispered. “Meet me there in five minutes…” And then, she was gone.
He immediately looked at his watch. His cock asked for thirty-second updates as it thickened in his boxer briefs. Soon, he was on his feet, strolling, looking both ways, checking out the scene. Like the slippery reformed thief that he was, he turned the knob and slid inside her room, his pants practically half down as he closed and locked the door behind himself. Pulling at his zipper, he looked around her room. The sunlight grazed her bed… but the damn thing was empty.
“Taryn!” he whispered, “Where are you?” He approached her small bathroom, turned the knob and opened the thing. He flicked on the light…but she wasn’t there. “Taryn?” he said a bit louder, feeling silly now with his pants around his ankles as he shuffled about. And then… it hit him.
“Oh,” he said aloud, kicking his pants the rest of the way off. “You want me to find you, huh? Seek you out; play my favorite game. I know you’re in here. I can
smell
your perfume.” He heard a faint giggle, and laughed. Rubbing his hands together, he approached the window, flung the curtains back. He knew she wasn’t there, but he also knew she was watching him, so he decided to put on a show.
“Hmmm, no Taryn…” He continued to move about the room. “Is she under these books? She’s so tiny. She just might be.”
“Fuck you, Nick.” She burst out laughing. He picked up a book, looked under it.
“Hmmmm, no Taryn…”
“I bet… I bet she’s behind the bed. See, it’s pushed out a bit, and there’s a shadow. Is she holding an apple? Nope, that’s just her little ass head bobbing about.”
“I hate you!” she cackled. He raced over to her, pushed the bed out even further and grabbed the woman up by the waist as if she were some criminal in desperate need of apprehension. He held her in his arms and laid a hard kiss across her lips, christening them with his pent up affections. The woman scratched at his shirt, hissing and moving frantically about as the sun made her eyes a lighter shade of brown.
“Give me this dick…” she slurred as she jerked his underwear down, forcing his hard, thick cock to pop out and bob in her face. The head, only an inch away from her lips, didn’t stay in view for long.
“Ahhhhh….oh shit.” He rocked back on his heels as she engulfed the thing, sucking hard and strong. “Mmmm!”
“Mmmm,” she moaned back. “You like that?” she asked with a twinkle in her eye. She looked up at him, her words barely understandable as she continued to suck him nice and hard.
“Hell yeah…” He smiled down at her, wrapped his hand around the back of her head, and brought her down on it a bit further. She stroked it long and hard with one hand, while her other rested on his thigh. “Yeah yeah yeah.” His eyes rolled. “Just like that…just like that! Uhhh! Taste good, baby? You like my dick in your mouth?! Mmmm!”
“Mmmm hmmm!” She popped the thing out, then circled the head with the tip of her tongue. “I
love
giving you top…”
“Mmmm! And you do it…so…well! Uhhh! Baby, I’m ’bout to cum…Mmmm!” He attempted to step back from her, release his load in the palm of his hand but she immediately clutched the back of his ass with both hands, keeping him there, stuck inside of her mouth. His hips jerking and flexing hard, he sucked in his breath and stared down at her beautiful face while she swallowed his dick as if she were the hungriest woman in the world.
“Uhhhh! Uh!” He shot inside of her mouth, over and over, thrusting back to back. Keeping her damn hands wrapped around his ass, she held him steady and worked his pumping shaft in between her lips. “Uhhh! Oh…my God.” His thrusts came to a final stop, and he couldn’t wipe the damn smile off his face. She looked up at him and swallowed, then returned his smile.
“Fuck!” He burst out laughing as he slicked his cock out of her mouth. She immediately patted her lips with the back of her hand, then got to her feet as if not a damn thing had happened.
“Now… go on to your ceramics class and have a good time.” And just like that, she sauntered out of her own damn room, leaving him there, his dick twitching, and his heart pounding in his chest. He looked at the closed door for a moment or two.
Either I’m the luckiest motherfucker in the world, or this is some crazy dream… If it’s a dream, I pray I never wake up!