In the Wake of the Wind (25 page)

“You’re a fetching creature,” Lord Delaware said with a leer in Mary’s direction. “Can’t think why I never noticed you before, my dear. Charming, absolutely charming.”

“Papa, please,”
Serafina
said in a reproving voice. ‘You need to concentrate on the task at hand.”

“Thought that was what I was doing,” he retorted with a broad wink at Plum, who winked right back, then returned to puffing out his chest like a proper Lothario and making eyes at poor Janie again.

Janie cast a helpless look at
Serafina,
who could only shake her head and shrug. Music had a euphoric effect on some people, but she really couldn’t think what had gotten into Plum or Lord Delaware, for that matter.

Aiden on the other hand conducted himself with absolute propriety, not looking at anyone at all until they started to sing, at which point his eyes stayed fixed on her as she conducted. But that was as close to any kind of contact that they had. She wished he would contract a little spring fever.

He hadn’t even tried to touch her in the last four days, and she thought she knew why. He’d been angry that first night that he’d come to bed, and she was the cause. But she didn’t know how to change his attitude. She couldn’t just throw herself into his arms and give him what he clearly wished. That would go against every principle she’d ever held regarding the act of love.

Oddly enough, she missed him. She even missed the way he touched her—she didn’t think she’d mind at all if he decided he wanted to kiss her again, even though she knew how dangerous a proposition that was and where it would likely lead. Which was why she hadn’t done anything to encourage him. But her feelings were hurt nevertheless by his inattentiveness.

“Let’s begin,” she said, recalling herself to her task. “We’ll start with ‘Oh God, Our Help in Ages Past,’ verses one, four, and five. Remember, this Sunday we’ll be singing in church for the first time, so let’s put every effort into getting it right”

An hour later
Serafina
dismissed her choir, satisfied that they were nearly up to scratch. They filed dutifully out of the kitchen, Aiden taking up the rear.

Serafina
screwed up her courage, not wanting him to leave until she’d had a chance to speak to him, come to some sort of understanding about what was bothering him.

She touched his arm lightly, and he looked at her in surprise, but he stopped obligingly enough.

“I think the vicar will be surprised, don’t you?” she asked.

“Very surprised,” he said, taking a quick step away from her. “It was a nice thought to form a choir for the church.”

Serafina
gathered up her courage. “Aiden … are you avoiding me?”

“Avoiding you?” He appeared suddenly rattled. “Why would you think that?”

“Because I’ve hardly seen you in the last few days.”

“And that disturbs you?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “Why? I was under the impression that my attentions were unwelcome.”

Serafina
colored hotly. “No—of course they’re not. I mean they are in one respect, but how are we to be friends if we never see each other?”

“Serafina,”
he said, sitting down at the huge kitchen table and resting his chin on his fist, “You are obviously dismally lacking in any understanding of how the male body works. I thought I made things perfectly clear the other night. If you wish to remain a virgin for the rest of your days that’s your decision and I told you I’d honor it.” He pressed his thumb and forefinger against the bridge of his nose. “But don’t expect me to torture myself by constantly exposing myself to your presence.”

Serafina
scuffed one foot along the floor. “I thought that might be the problem,” she whispered, feeling terrible that she was the reason that Aiden felt he had to lock himself away in his own house. “Would you rather I go away?”

“Go away?” he said, his head shooting up. “What do you mean by that?”

“Just that my presence clearly makes you uncomfortable,” she replied miserably. “I’m sorry—I wish I could change the way I feel, but I told you that I can’t be with you the way you want, at least not yet. It’s not that I don’t want to try, but I can’t try if you’re never around.”

Aiden looked over at her, his gaze hard and assessing. “Then you’re saying that you do want to try?”

“Yes, of course I want to try,” she cried in helpless frustration. “But I have to love you, don’t you see? That’s the only way I can be with you with any conscience. And how am I supposed to learn to love you if you lock yourself away from me?”

“Let me see if I have this right,” he said, running a hand over his lean cheek. “You’ve now decided that you might be able to learn to love me, and if you can manage the impossible, then you are willing to be my wife in all regards. I don’t have to love you, though. Is that it?”

Serafina
chewed on her lip. She wouldn’t have put it quite like that, but she supposed he was close enough. “Yes,” she said. “That’s it.”

Aiden burst into wild laughter. “Oh, that’s reassuring. That’s bloody marvelous. So all I have to do is work out a way to transform myself into a silly, lily-livered prince and we both get what we want.” He dropped his head onto his arms with a strangled groan.

Serafina
glared at him angrily for a minute, thinking he mocked her. And then a gurgle of laughter escaped and another as she saw the absurdity in the situation, for he certainly had a point. “I don’t want a prince,” she said. “I certainly don’t want a silly prince. I think I want you, Aiden, but I can’t be sure, not until I know you better.”

His head slowly lifted. “You do?” he said in a strangled voice. “Oh, God. Oh, God, sweetheart. Do you mean there might be an end in sight to this living hell? Come here, you ridiculous girl.”

He reached a hand out to her, and
Serafina
gingerly approached. He pulled her down onto his lap and buried his head in her hair, his arms coming fast around her. “I’m dying,” he murmured against her cheek. “Inch by inch. I want you so badly I could scream. It’s a damned miracle I haven’t killed myself in the last few days.”

Serafina’s fingers crept up to entwine themselves in his soft hair. “Can you wait a little longer?” she asked, trying to buy herself a grace period. When he held her like this, made her feel so desirable, so needed, her resolve weakened treacherously. “I don’t mean to tease you, Aiden, truly I don’t, but this is very hard for me. I can’t just love you overnight, although I’ve decided that I do like you very much.”

He put her abruptly off his lap and stood, turning slightly away from her. “You can have all the time you want. I don’t know how one goes about transforming liking into love since I’ve never been loved before, but however it happens, could you try to hurry up the process?”

“I’m not sure how to do that,” she said honestly. “I don’t know anything about it either. Maybe a little companionship would help?”

He glanced at her sideways. “Companionship, as in consigning me to more interminable longing? I suppose I can manage that, if I’m going to try to be the superhuman man you expect. Well, and why not? I’ve learned more over the last few days about interminable longing than most men learn in a lifetime.”

Serafina
pressed a swift kiss of gratitude onto his cheek, breathing in his warm masculine scent, so achingly familiar to her now. “Thank you,” she said, her knees weak with relief that he’d been willing to hear her out. “I’ll try not to let you down.”

“Come ride with me,” Aiden said, her kiss doing serious damage to his already compromised body.
Oh,
how he would have liked to ride her instead, but Aiden intended to be good to his word, even though he felt certain he’d lost his mind in making the agreement. He’d been crawling out of his skin for days now, his need for
Serafina
only growing by the hour.

But
Serafina
wanted companionship, and he realized that the only way he was going to further his cause was by giving it to her, especially in light of what she’d just said. But the only safe place he could think to give it to her was from the back of a horse where his attention would at least be diverted by the need to think of something else other than his aching groin.

“I’d love to ride with you,” she said, her eyes lighting up with pleasure. “Will you give me a moment to change my clothes?”

“Naturally,” he replied, resisting the urge to offer to come and watch. Instead he walked her out into the hall, but he did watch as she dashed up the staircase, feasting his eyes on a brief flash of slender ankle.

Even at the tender age of seventeen and plagued by sexual desire nearly every waking minute, he’d never been so obsessed. He was truly beginning to worry about himself. His body stood in a continual state of readiness, one look from his wife ready to send him into renewed agony. He felt as if he’d grown a third leg, but it wasn’t one that was of any use to him at the moment.

He walked down to the stables and saddled two mounts, hers with an old sidesaddle, deciding it was time for
Serafina
to learn to ride like a countess, one lesson Charlotte couldn’t teach her.

He looked up as she came into the stableyard, all grace and beauty and elegance in her new riding habit, a beautiful deep green velvet, a jaunty white feather plume in her hat. Mme. Bernard had again done a brilliant job.
Serafina
had been born to be a countess, he thought in breathless admiration, watching as she came toward him. The tightening in his poor groin started again, and he cursed under his breath, wondering if this had been such a good idea after all.

“Oh, Aiden,”
Serafina
said, looking at the mare, blissfully ignorant of the licentious direction of his thoughts. “You’ve saddled Rosie … but I fear I’m only accustomed to riding bareback.”

“Nonsense,” he said, thinking with amusement that Rosie was the most inappropriate name she could have chosen for a thoroughbred mare. “You can do anything you put your mind to, or so I’ve noticed. Anyway, you’re dressed for riding sidesaddle, and beautifully dressed, I might add.”

“Oh—thank you,” she said, flushing with pleasure, distracted for a moment. “It’s a very pretty costume.”

“Not as pretty as its wearer,” he said gallantly, but meaning every word. “And you’ll like the way it drapes over the saddle. Here, let me show you. You’ll find the saddle easy enough and a secure seat as well.” He took her foot and propelled her up onto the mare. “Look, you hook your leg over the pommel like this,” he said, helping her. He couldn’t help but be aware of the beguiling outline of her slim leg beneath her skirts, and he quickly snatched his hand away. “Now tuck your foot into the stirrup.” He watched to be sure she was safely mounted, although she looked endearingly anxious about the unfamiliar position.

“Relax, sweetheart, you’re perfectly safe. From what I observed the other day, you’re a fine horsewoman. A saddle will give you an even better purchase.” He swung up onto Aladdin. “I’ve been meaning to ask you—where did the mare come from? I was surprised to see her when I returned.”

Serafina
glanced over at him nervously. “Your cousin sent her as a wedding present.”

He moved Aladdin into a walk, and
Serafina
followed next to him. “So
Rafe
sent you a mare. That was thoughtful of him. Plum says you take her out every afternoon for a few hours. Where do you go?”

“I go—I go through the woods,” she mumbled, the tip of her tongue poking out of the side of her mouth as she stared down at the mare’s mane.

“I should have realized,” he said with a smile. “And what do you do?”

“I look for flowers and herbs for my aunt. And I try to learn things about my new home.”

“You’ve learned an enormous amount, but I doubt you learned much of it in the woods,” he said with amusement. “I don’t believe I’ve told you, but I’m mightily impressed by your improved grasp of etiquette.”

Serafina’s cheeks flared with the lovely pink tinge he found so appealing. “I’m pleased you noticed, Aiden. I’ve tried hard to observe what is around me,” she said with a shy sideways peep up at him.

“Your powers of observation are keen indeed. I’d never have believed you could learn so quickly and so well in such a short period of time. You make me proud, sweetheart, and not just of your newfound manners, but also because you’ve made such a difference to my father and sister.”

“Thank you,” she said, her face lighting with another of her wide smiles. “But you mustn’t give me all the credit. Charlotte has been very generous in making me welcome in her home.”

“It’s your home too now,” he pointed out.

“Yes, that’s true,” she said. “I’ve tried to think of it like that. And your father has been kind to me also—but you’ve seen for yourself how far he’s come.”

Aiden nodded thoughtfully. Although deep wounds still lay beneath the surface of their relationship, Aiden couldn’t fault his father’s attempt to make a new start. He still felt skeptical that the attempt would last, but he was willing to give the man the benefit of the doubt. For the moment. Aiden hadn’t missed his father’s recent lusty behavior, even though he put it down to the diminished effects of alcohol on his father’s system—although Plum, who had always been the soul of propriety, was also behaving in a questionable fashion, and Aiden was not only puzzled but concerned. The last thing he needed was to have his father and the butler chasing chambermaids through the house and upsetting Charlotte.