In To Blue: Book One Of The Blue Series (12 page)

For a moment I consider he is right but this is way beyond what is right and wrong.  I want revenge. I want the Walker’s to pay.  I want be sure they can’t hurt me, my horses, my family, or anyone else for that matter.  Money may buy Coy his early freedom but it won’t buy him or his father happiness.  I’ll see to that.  “Buddy, I’m going to go after them whether you like it or not.  Don’t you dare stand in my way!”  He wipes his forehead.  “I won’t Avery.”

Julie and Chance will be by later if you are up for company.  “Sure”  “Grant called me.”  “So.”   “Avery he is devastated.  He just wants to talk to you.  Can’t you just talk to him?  “I don’t care Buddy.”  “I don’t know what he did to you but whatever it is he deeply regrets it.  I know it is not my place but the guy deserves a second chance.  He did everything he could to help find you.”  “I said no!  Tell Cliff he is not allowed on the property.”  He nods his head  

I fall asleep not long after Buddy leaves my room.  When I awake its dark outside.  I slowly make my way downstairs.  Everyone is sitting at the table about to have supper.  Julie and Chance jump up and carefully hug me.  “Avery I’m so sorry.  Are you ok.”  “I’m fine.”  I walk over and slowly sit down.  I still have quite a bit of pain. 

Marie has prepared a good traditional southern meal, consisting of chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes with gravy and string beans.  “This looks great Marie.”  She smiles as she sets my plate down.  I dive right in.  The food tastes delicious but after only a few bites I become full.  I haven’t eaten in basically five days and it looks as if it may take a little while to get my appetite back.  “Avery you barely touched your food.”  Julie whispers.  “Just not that hungry.”  I thought she might push the issue but she doesn’t. 

I quickly excuse myself from the table and I walk outside to my stables.  The horses are stirring. I can tell they are happy to see me.  “Do you want to talk about it?” Julie asks as she walks in.  “Not really.” 

“What about Grant?  Buddy told me what happened.”   “I don’t want to talk about Grant either.”  “Avery I don’t get it. I thought you really liked him.  From what Buddy has told me the guy is crazy about you.  He was devastated when he discovered you missing.  He loves you Avery.”  “I want nothing to do with Grant.  Let’s just leave it that way!  “Ok Avery, I’m sorry.”  “It’s ok.  I’m tired.  I think I am going to turn in.”  “Sure call me tomorrow maybe we can have lunch if you are up to it.”  I smile as I walk back to the house.

I don’t call Julie the next day in fact I pretty much stay in bed the next several days.  The physical pain is subsiding.  Marie has been treating my injuries with great care.  The mental pain is not going way.  I just want to stay in bed and cry.  Nothing brings me comfort.  All I feel is sadness and hatred.  I hate the Walkers and I need to deal with them.  I think that is the only thing that keeps me going, my hatred for them. 

I see my phone on my night stand I thought I had lost it.  I look at it. I have several missed calls which I chose to ignore and several text messages.  Julie texted me twice. 
Hey how about lunch? 
The second one. 
I know you are hurting Avery.  I won’t push but just know I’m here for you.” 
I scroll down I have several text messages from Grant. 
Avery please talk to me.  I don’t want to be without you. Let me help you through this.  I miss you so much.  Please let me be there for you.  I love you. 
I put my phone in back on my night stand and I decide to take a shower. 

I have pretty much been giving myself sponge baths because it was too painful to take a shower.  As I wait for the water to heat up, I look at myself in the mirror.  I don’t recognize the person in front of me.  There are faint bruises all over my body.  My hair is a mess and I am pale. The dark circles under my eyes are so prevalent, it looks like I have two black eyes. 

My mind is the same as my body.  I’m frail and broken.  Even though I managed to get away, I would have submitted to Coy.  If I had stayed trapped in that barn any longer, I would have succumbed to Coy’s demand.  I know now that I’ll never be the same.  Nothing matters anymore.  I’m falling into a dark state and I honestly don’t care if I ever come out of it. 

After my shower, I get dressed and go downstairs.  Everyone is already out on the ranch working.  I find Buddy and Uncle Rex.  They are discussing the upcoming horse racing schedules.  Racing season is a little less than four months away and it takes a lot of preparation for our team to be ready.   I’m glad I have my family to handle the ranch.  I don’t think I could run it right now, given my state of mind.  I need to make some changes to how we run things around here.  I may be falling apart but I won’t let the ranch fall with me. Also I need to focus my attention on the Walkers.  I can’t do that and run this ranch.  

“Hey darlin how are you feeling?”  I lie.  “Much better.  Uncle Rex, can I talk to you?  “Sure darlin.  What’s on your mind?”  “I need to take a break.  I’ll still be here and help out like always but I can’t focus on the business side of things right now.”
 
Actually I want to devote all of my time to destroying the Walker’s
.
  “Darlin, any other time I would argue with you on this but I was actually going to suggest you take a break.  Buddy and I were going to talk to you about it.  I’m glad we are all on the same page.  Take all the time you need.  I want you in tip top shape when you retake the reigns.”  “Ok”   

I give him a quick hug and I make my way toward my stables.  I see Buddy make a b-line for the house.  I hope nothing is wrong but my focus is on seeing my horses.  I visit with Tilly and Beau and then make my way to Blue.  “Can’t ride you just yet Blue.  Maybe in a couple of days. 

I forgot I needed to make a quick call.  I pull my phone out and call Harlon.  “Avery how are you?  I’ve been so worried.”  “I’m good.  I need to see you.  When would be a good time?”  “I will be in the office this afternoon finishing up some paperwork.  Stop by any time after lunch.”  “Thanks Harlon. I will see you then.” I put my phone back in my pocket. 

I am startled when I hear someone walk in the stables.  I turn it is Buddy and standing next to him is Grant.  Before I can thoroughly bitch Buddy out he runs up to me.  “Don’t say a word.  Just talk to him.  Hear him out ok?  I just glare at him.  “After you talk, if you still want him gone I’ll make him leave.  Just do this one thing for me Avery.”  He leans in and whispers.  “If for nothing else give him a chance to say goodbye.  I nod and I walk Buddy to the entryway of the stables. 

“Hi.” Grant whispers. “Hello Grant.”  “How are you doing?”  “I’m fine.”  “Avery, I know you better than you think.  You are in no way fine nor how could you be.”
 
Damn mind reader.
 
It killed me that he was right. 

“What do you want Grant?”  “I just want to talk to you.”  “Well start talking.” He takes a deep breath.  “I know you have been through hell and there is nothing I can do to change that.  I blame myself.  If hadn’t fucked up,I would have been with you.  Maybe I could have prevented what happened.”
 
Damn right he fucked u
p
! 

“No matter how bad I want that, I can’t change what happened.  I know I hurt you Avery and I would do anything to take it back.  I can’t imagine my life without you.  I love you.  I just want a chance to earn back your trust. Don’t push me away.  You need me as much as I need you.” 

As I stand there, I’m numb. I feel no different.  It is all just words.  It doesn’t repair the mental pain and anguish that now consume my body.  “I don’t need you Grant.  In fact I don’t need anyone.”  “Avery how can you just throw away your feelings for me?  You cared about me I felt it.”   “Grant, the last two men I have cared about have done nothing but cause me pain.  I want you out of my life Grant.”  I know that was a coldhearted thing to say but I want him gone.    He tilts his head back and then look straight into my eyes.  “Fine. I still love you.  Maybe you will realize that one day. Goodbye Avery.” 

He turns and walks away.  I completely remove Grant from my mind and I turn my focus back to Blue.  “I’m going to make sure the Walker’s can never hurt us again Blue.  I promise you Blue, the Walker’s will pay for what they have done. 

I called Julie on my way into Louisville.  We are going to have drinks after I am finished at Harlon’s office. 

“Come in Avery.  How are you doing?”  “I’m good.  Harlon, I need your help with something but I need to ask you a question first.”  “Shoot.”  “Reese Walker bought Coy’s plea deal didn’t he?”  The look on his face tells me he wasn’t expecting that question. 

“Don’t deny it Harlon.  Deep down you know it’s true.”  “Yes.  Avery you know he did.”  “Thanks.  I just needed to confirm my suspicions.  I need your help with something. “Avery, what can I do?”  “I need information on any deals whether it is horses, real estate or anything Reese has his hands in.”  “I’m sorry Avery I can’t help you with that.  It is unethical and could potentially violate confidentiality.” 

“Are you kidding me?  It hasn’t stopped you in the past.  That is how I bought the Miller’s property.”  “That was different Avery.  The Millers came to me to see if I would help them sell it.  They didn’t want it out in the open.  They were in financial trouble. 

I can’t help you with this. I was involved with the land purchase between the Walkers and Mr. Harrison.  It would be unethical to be involved in whatever it is your up too.”  “Wait you said you “was” involved with the land purchase.  Are you not involved in it anymore?  “No.  Mr. Harrison backed out of the deal.”

Oh shit!  Grant backed ou
t
.
  I’m sure I know why but I can’t think about it.  “So what is the problem?  You aren’t involved in it anymore.”  “It doesn’t matter Avery.  I can’t help you.”  I know he is not telling me something.  I know there is no way he will tell me.”  “Well I guess I should be going.”  “I’m sorry Avery.  I would help you if I could.” 

I meet Julie at a bar near her salon.  We order a cosmopolitan’s and I relax as I listen to her complain about her day.  “Avery how are you doing really?  I know you can’t be fine.”  “I actually am Julie.”  I explain to her that I’m taking a break from the business which she seems relieved about that.  “I have only one goal right now.  I am going to take the Walker’s down once and for all.” 

She gasp.  “It won’t change what happened Avery.”  “I know but I need to eliminate that threat.”  “I don’t like what I am hearing.  This is not you.  What has Coy done to you?”  “Damn it! Julie stop!  I don’t need your support or permission all right?”  “I’m sorry Avery.  I just have never heard you talk like this before.”  “Julie, stop worrying.  I’m perfectly fine. 

I need to ask you something Julie.  A few years ago Chance got into it with the Walker’s over feed contracts.  I remember you found him a really tough attorney because Harlon was out of town at the time.  She won the case, taking the Walker’s by complete surprise.  What was her name?”

“Are you talking about Samantha Bailey?  “Yes.  That’s her.”  “She hates the Walker’s.  That is why she took our case.  Reese double crossed her dad on some horse deal years ago.”  “Why do you ask Avery?  Oh wait.  You’re going to get her to help you aren’t you?” I lie.  “I just need to ask her a few questions that is all.” 

“Avery maybe you need to talk to someone about what happened.  You’ve been through a traumatic ordeal.”  “Julie stop!  I told you I’m fine.  Just drop it.”  I snap.  “Fine.  I better get going Chance will be worried.  Promise me something Avery.”  “What Julie.”  “Think about what I said.  Just think about talking to someone.  Don’t get mad, just consider it.”  “I will consider it.”  She gives me a gentle hug as she walks me to my truck.  “Don’t be a stranger Avery.”  “I won’t.”

I climb in my truck and I watch her walk back to the salon.  I quickly pull out my phone and search on the internet for Samantha Bailey’s phone number.  I press call and a young lady answers.  “Samantha Bailey’s office.”  “Um hi.  Is Mrs. Bailey in?”  “I am sorry ma’am she has already left for the day.  Could I take a message?  “Actually no.  Could I make an appointment to see her?  “Of course ma’am.  She has an opening tomorrow morning at ten thirty.”  I’ll take it.”  “I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name.”  “It’s Avery, Avery Foster.”  “Oh!  As in Foster Racing?”  “Yes that’s me.”  “Oh Ms. Foster…”  She pauses.  “I have you down for ten thirty tomorrow morning.” “Thank you.” 

As soon as I hang up, my phone rings.  I’m so startled I don’t even look to see who it is.  “Hello.”  “Avery.”
 
Fuck
!
  It’s Grant.  I have got to remember to look to see who is calling me.  “Grant.”  I’m going to be as brief as possible.  “How are doing Avery?”  He ask cautiously. “Never been better.” 

“Avery that may work on some people but not me.” “What do you want Grant?”  “I want to see you.  I would like to talk to you in person.”  “What could you possibly want to talk to me about?  It’s over between us.  There is no other reason for us to talk.”  “Avery, I just want to explain to you what happened that night at my house, the night…..”  He wants to talk about what happened in is playroom.
 
Whyin the hell can’t he let me go
?
 

“Please Avery, just give me that.  I need the chance to explain myself.  Just give me that and I promise I won’t bother you again.”  Basically he will continue contacting me until I hear him out
.
Why in the hell can’t he forget about me
?
  I have more important matters I need to deal with.   “Fine.  Just call me the next time you are in town.”  “Avery I’m here.”
 
Fuck
!
  He is a sneaky bastard.  I just need to get this over with.  “Meet me at my house in an hour.”  He sighs. “Thank you Avery.  I’ll see you in an hour.”

I make it back to the house in record time.  I sit on a bench as I wait for him on the front porch.  It’s probably the most private place out here because everyone stays at the back of the house or out on the ranch.  Other than visitors, no one usually hangs out on the front porch.

It is not long before I see a black car coming down the drive. I’m nervous.  The car stops and Grant climbs out before Will can get the car in park.  Grant is dressed in a blue suit and a white shirt.  He quickly walks up to the porch, grabs one of the wooden chairs, and sits it down in front of me.  He leans over and stares into my eyes.  I see sadness in his eyes.  He reaches for my hands and I quickly jerk them away.  He bends his head down and wipes his forehead.  

“Say what you came here to say Grant.”  He looks up and he becomes visibly nervous.  “Avery, I know back in New York I was working a lot.  We didn’t get to spend a lot of time together.  Part of that was because I have a lot going on but there is something else.”
 
What is he trying to tell me? 
 
“I was trying to keep my distance from you.  I knew that I was in love with you.   I was so afraid.  I didn’t want to get hurt.  I was afraid I would scare you away.  It’s so hard to keep my guard up around you.  I wanted to protect myself but I wanted to let you in.  It frightened me.” 

Why is he telling me this now?
  “That night when we had dinner with my staff.  I felt what you had for me.  I was so excited.  I wanted you in every way possible.  I thought by introducing you to my playroom you would become more comfortable with me.”  Grant pauses, staring into my eyes trying to read my expression.  “Avery, I got lost in the moment.  I have been so stressed out lately.  I was a nervous wreck. 

After I saw the text messages Coy sent you, I began to doubt myself.  What if I couldn’t protect you?  I started thinking about all the times I have seen him with his hands on you.  I remember the fear in your eyes every time he touched you.  I never wanted to see that look on your face.  I got swept up in my anger.  I zoned out.  I didn’t hear you safe word.  I swear Avery.  I never meant to hurt you.  When you left, I thought I had lost you.  I couldn’t let you go.  I wasn’t ready to let you go.  I was angry.  I was afraid you thought I actually meant to hurt you.” He pauses to catch his breath. 

“Avery, I flew to Kentucky that night.  I didn’t know about Blue till I got here and when Buddy and I discovered you missing, I was devastated.  I knew it was my fault.  I would have been with you.  Instead you were alone and vulnerable.” My heart is fighting my mind.  I’m taken by his words.
 
No
!
I can’t let him do this.  He will not win me back this way.  I just can’t. 

“Avery, I know this may be hard to hear.  I know what Coy did to you.” I completely freeze
.
Why is he bringing this up
?
  I fight with this every day trying to bury the memories of what happened and Grant is here wanting to discuss it.  I’m so furious with him.
 
How dare he bring this shit up
?
  Holding back the tears is becoming impossible.  “Avery, I’m not Coy. I would never hurt you in that way.  I can’t imagine the hell he put you through.  I would never do that to you.  You must realize that.  I can’t bear the thought of you thinking we are the same.  It kills me.  I know this is a lot to take in and you have been through so much.” 

I have had all I can stand.  I can’t deal with my emotions and I’m angry that Grant is trying to pull them out of me.  I’m so tired of all this.  I have to make him understand once and for all that it’s over.  I hate him for what he has done.   The only way I know to do that is to be as cruel as possible. I will make him regret that he ever hurt me and for bringing up what happened with Coy.  I collect my thoughts.  This is going to be so hard to say but it will push Grant away for good.   I am sickened by what I am about to say.

“You right Grant.  You aren’t like Coy!  You see Coy was upfront with me about his intentions.  He told me he was going to break me, whip me into submission.”  Grant immediately becomes pale.  “You however lie to me and say you won’t hurt me but then you do.  So are you a dominant or a sadist?  Coy is obviously a sadist and I think you fall right into that category.  You are exactly like him you just aren’t honest about it.” 

He is in complete shock.  He tilts his head back.  “No! I’m not!”  He yells.  “Avery this isn’t you!  What did that sick bastard do to you?”  I refuse to answer him.  “Grant you have said your peace and now it’s time for you leave.”  “Avery, you need help.”
 
Oh hell no
!
  He has crossed the line.  “No! I don’t need help.  You’re the one that needs help.  You’re the one that gets pleasure from inflicting pain on women.  Get the fuck off my property and I better not ever hear from you again.” 

I don’t give him a chance to respond and I storm into the house and run upstairs.  I look out the window, watching Grant get into the car.  He climbs in and the car leaves.  Sadness overwhelms me and I fall onto my bed crying. 

              I awake the next morning. It’s after eight a.m. 
Shit!
I have an appointment with Samantha Bailey.  I hurry to get ready.  I head down stairs and out the door.  I grab a cup of coffee once a get into town and I drive over to Mrs. Bailey’s office. 

Her office is small but very elegant. I let the receptionist know who I am.  I text Buddy to tell him I’m in Louisville on errands.  I text Julie to see if she wants to have lunch later.  She quickly text me back to let me know she could meet me at noon.  As I put my phone away, I hear, “Ms. Foster.”  “Yes.”  I look up and see a woman probably a few years older than me and very beautiful.  He has long straight brown hair.  She is dressed in a white blouse and gray skirt with black heels.  “I am Samantha Bailey.  Let’s step into my office. 

I sit down in her office and before I can say anything.  “Ms. Foster, I heard about what happened.  I want you know how truly sorry I am.  How are you doing?  It had dawn on me in that moment that everyone in the area has probably heard about what happened to me.  It doesn’t sit well with me.  I’m ashamed of what happened and I wish the events could have stayed private.  I know that would have been impossible. 

“I’m good.  I’m sure you are wondering why I’m here.”  “Of course.  I was quite surprised when my receptionist told me you made an appointment.  Your family has been involved with Harlon Brinkley for years.  I’m quite intrigued as to why you asked to see me.” 

I decide to get straight to the point.  “Mrs. Bailey how do you feel about the Walker’s?  Do you have any professional or personal involvement with him?”  She looks shocked but quickly smiles.  “Please call me Sam.  I can assure you Ms. Foster, I have no involvement with the Walker’s.  I think they should both be rotting in jail.”  I smile.  I’m glad she and I feel the same way about them. “Call me Avery.” 

“I am going to be honest with you Sam.  My family has battled with the Walkers since before I was born.  I am ready to put a stop to it.  Coy crossed the line and it’s time I bury the Walker’s once and for all.” 

I want to retain you as my attorney for this project.”  “I must say Avery, I never would have expected you to come to me for help.  I’m glad you did.  I have wanted to nail the Walker’s for many years.  I have never had the power, influence or money to take them on.  You on the other hand you have exactly what it takes to take them down.”  “Sam, I think you and I will make a great team.”

“I need to find out what contracts Reese has working.  Whether it is for horses, real estate or whatever else he may be into.  My plan is to attack his livelihood first.  Then I want to start in digging up the dirt on them.  I know they are dirty.  Once I hurt their pocket book it will be much harder for them to buy their way out of trouble.” 

“Avery it sounds like a perfect plan.  You really need to be careful.  They already have seen you as a threat.  They will come after you.”  “I’m already one step ahead of you.  I’m not tying any of this to Foster Ranch, Foster Racing or the charity Riding Along.” 

You are going to help me set up a corporation so that nothing can be traced back to me, my family, my business or my charity.”  “Avery, how do you plan on funding this operation?  I assume you have all of your money tied up in your business.  If you use any of that money it could be traced back to you.”  “Not to worry Sam I have that covered.

My mother was inherently wealthy.  She died when I was born.  My father died two years ago.  When he died all of the money my mother had as well as the personal funds of my father we turned over to me.  That money has just been sitting in an account.  I haven’t touched it.  All we have to do is transfer it over to the new company.” 

“Avery, I’m sorry about your parents.  You and I have a lot in common.  I lost my mother when I was eight and I lost my father five years ago.  Oh here I go rambling.  Let’s talk fee.  My normal retainer for a deal this size would be ten thousand dollars but since I am going to enjoy helping you with this, I will make it five thousand.” 

“I tell you what Sam, let’s make it twenty thousand for now.”  “You drive a hard bargain Avery.  You got a deal.  One question aren’t you worried about the money being traced back to you?”  “I have already thought about that.  I am close connections with my bank.  My personal banker was a close friend of my fathers and he hates the Walker’s as much as I do.  I trust him.  He won’t let the money be traced back to me.”