In Your Arms (12 page)

              “I fucked it up.”

              Boy was he wrong. She wasn't mad at Charles, she was mad at me. I have to find a way to make this up to her.

              “I'm sorry.” More sorry than he would ever know, at least right now.

              “It's whatever. I guess it truly is over.” I pat his shoulder. He looked defeated. I'm sure he would find someone else. Ashton wasn't the one for him, he'll find himself the right girl.

              “Lets go visit my grandfather.”

              Since Ashton would not answer my texts or calls, and I knew it was her birthday tomorrow, I sent four bouquets of flowers. Not just any flowers. Daisies. They were her favorite, she mentioned them once, and I'm pretty sure she thought I didn't know. Also, I bought chocolate covered strawberries, another of her favorites.

              The whole day I couldn't stop thinking about the horrified look she got when I took a step toward her. She was truly afraid. I wondered if it had to do with the state I was in, and if something had happened to her. I was only thinking the worst.

              I arrived at her place at ten and knocked on the door. Her friend, Callie, opened the door and she smiled wide. She had that face that made you want to smile back.

              “Loverboy, perfect timing!” She pulled me in and dragged me into the kitchen. I noticed that half the place was packed up into boxes.

              “Where is Ash?” I asked, grabbing a cookie that was in a basket.

              “She's getting ready for our night out to celebrate her birthday.” I realize that Callie looked like she was about to go clubbing.

              “What's with the boxes?” I whisper.

              “Ashton didn't tell you?” I shake my head. “Her grandmother gave her the fortress and everything to her name about a month ago, and she finally gave her a blessing to treat the place like her own. She's going to redecorate.”

              “This happened a month ago?”

              “It's not technically mine, but I do have her blessing to change the place up as I please.” I turn to see Ashton standing in the door.

              I looked her over. Wow. She was wearing a black dress, with transparent parts in certain spots, it was short. It clung to her body, hugged her in all the right places. The shoes she was wearing made her legs look like they were going on for miles. She topped it all off with a gold necklace. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail, one that I wanted to pull on as I pressed her up against the wall.

              “You look beautiful.” She looked at me with those big gray eyes. “But you're not going out like that.”

              “Excuse me?” I grab her hand and walk into her room with her. “You can't tell me what I can or can't wear.”

              As soon as I close the door, I kiss her, spin us around slightly, and press her against the wall. I hear her moan and then she pushed me off. I loved seeing that fire in her eyes.

              “If that's your way of apologizing, that's a weak ass apology.”

              “That wasn't my apology.”

              “Was it the four bouquet of flowers? Also a weak ass apology.” She went to her mirror to fix her lipstick.

              “I'm sorry about last night. Charles thought I was acting weird, and he wanted me to hook him up with a woman, so he wouldn't let me leave. Then we got drunk, and we ended up at your door. I am sorry, you have a right to be mad at me.”

              “There's one thing you need to know about me, Braxton.” She looks at me through her mirror, then she looks down. “I don't like dealing with intoxicated people.” I knew it.

              “You seem uncomfortable about this topic, so I won't press to as why you feel that way. I will do this.” I spin her chair around, and get at eye level. “I promise never to get like that again around you. I saw the fear in your eyes, and I never want to see that again.” I press a kiss against her forehead, and I could feel her relax.

              I looked back at her, and she was smiling. “Now that is how to apologize.” She kisses me softly.

              “Where are you going?” I ask, eying her once again. She looked so beautiful and hot. I knew men would be looking at her, and I didn't want that because she was for me only. Did I really just think that?

              “Callie thought it would be a good idea to go a New Years Eve party, so we're going to go crash one. We're getting dinner first though.”

              “Party? Where? Whose?” She thinks.

              “It's one of my friends parties from Chicago. Her name is Sarah and she lives in the Carnegie Hill neighborhood.”

              “I didn't know you had friends from Chicago around here.” She shrugs.

              “Her parents used to live here when she went to private school. I've known Sarah since I was a baby, and she's the only one who still kept in touch even after I dropped out of Northwestern.” Her eyes seemed to go far away once she mentioned her old school. I wanted to know so badly as to why she dropped, I'm sure someone did. “Callie's waiting for me.” She stands and I follow.

              “Well, I'm going with.” She looks at me.

              “What?”

              “I'll meet you at the party.” She just stares at me. “I've got to make sure all men keep their hands off you, especially since you insist on wearing that dress.”

              Ashton frowns. “What's wrong with this dress?”

              “Nothing's wrong with it.” I place my hands on her hips. “It's definitely accentuates the features I love most about you.” She smiles.

              “That's the point.” She winks and I kiss her.

              “I can't have any man thinking that you're available.” I say in between kisses. I can never get enough of them.

              “I'm yours. Only yours.” I smile.

              “Any chance I can make you mine on this bed right now?” She giggles as I kiss one of her ticklish spots.

              “Callie is outside waiting.”

              “I know.”

              “How about you make me yours after the party?”

              “Looking forward to it.” I kiss her again.

Chapter 20

Ashton Pennington

              Carnegie Hill was pumping with loud music and drunk people spilling out of their doors. Any other night, the street would be quiet and consumed by the New York winter. Winter was when all the college kids and private school kids came back, and partied because their parents were away on vacation. I know this because that's why I'd do. I'd tag along with Sarah and other friends, and party and pretend I had no worries.

              “Loverboy is waiting right at the stairs.” I looked to see that Callie was right. Braxton was right on time.

              I stop her. I knew she was eager to get inside and drink and go with boys. I turned to her, with my back to Braxton.

              “What is it?” She asks.

              “Am I doing the right thing?”

              “With Braxton?” I nod.

              I sort of had a talk with her before Braxton knocked on my door. I was feeling guilty about Charles. I had a feeling Braxton had mentioned nothing of our sort of dating to Charles, and those suspicions were confirmed when both Charles and Braxton were at my door last night.

              “I think this is something you need to talk about with him, sweetie. Now, I'll tell you my observations.”

              “You have observations?” I grin.

              “Do you want me to tell you or what?” I could hear her New York coming out, so I nodded. “You two are going to be together for a long time. I can feel it in my bones, and I can feel it every time you two look at each other.”

              “Really?” She nods.

              “Hello, ladies.”  Braxton wraps his arms from behind and I look up at him. “Ready to go in?” I nod.

              “I'm not a fan of big parties.” I admit.

              “Then why are you here?” He steps in front of me and grabs my hand.

              “I think it's about time I get over my fear. I'm going back to college.” I see a look in his face, and I'm not sure what it is. Fear? Doubt?

              “Really?”

              “I applied for early decision, they gave me notice about two weeks ago. I start in the fall.” I needed to tell him this because in a few months, I'd no longer be the girl who was available twenty four seven. I knew what I wanted to do.

              “So when do you go back to Chicago?”

              “Probably Thanksgiving, maybe Christmas and New Years.” He gave me a confused look. “I got early decision to NYU.” He smiles.

              “You'll be a student here?” I nod. “You make me feel old, but I'm having fun imagining you in a sexy school uniform.”

              I laugh. “There are no uniforms, and since when are they sexy?”

              “Well, the one I'm imagining is very sexy.” He kisses me.

              Whenever I kissed Braxton, it's like fresh air I didn't know I needed. I've been breathing in this muggy air for a long time that it just blended it, and I forgot about it, and he reminds me that there's better air out there, like him. I can never get enough of him.

              “Oh my God! Is that you, Ashton?” I recognized the voice immediately and I pulled away from Braxton.

              I turned to see the one friend who I pushed away, and still was my friend after the whole mess that happened at Northwestern. Sarah was tall, a redhead, and very beautiful. If there was anyone I ever felt inferior to it was her.

              “Hi, Sarah.” She hugged me and then pulled away to look at me. Her big green eyes stared at my gray ones.

              “I'm so happy you to see you here, I didn't think you were coming at all.” Her eyes wandered over to Braxton and she smiled even wider, like that was possible. “And who is this, Ashton? Boyfriend?”

              “Um.” I feel Braxton's arm back around me. “This is Braxton. He runs that blog “It's Not You, It's Her' that is very popular at Northwestern.” She laughs.

              “My boyfriend reads that.” Sarah looks at Braxton. “Sorry, Braxton but almost everything you write about does not apply to Ashton.”

              “I've learned. She does keep me on my toes.” I smile at him.

              “We're going inside. It was nice seeing you again, Sarah.” She stops me.

              “Wait. I need to tell you something.” She looks at Braxton. “Mind if I borrow her for a minute?”

              “Sure. I'll wait for you inside.” He gives my hand a squeeze, and after he walks in, and is out of earshot, Sarah begins to talk.

              “I didn't know you would be here. You hardly answer my emails, and I thought you would be in Chicago for the holidays.” She sounded nervous.

              “Did I do something wrong by showing up here?”

              “No! I am glad you're here.” She promises. “I want you to know that I did not invite him. I invited Lottie, and she brought Tanner. She said it was a last minute thing...” I could feel the vomit rising.

              Lottie was a girl who I know used to like Tanner when everything happened. She was just waiting for an opportunity to get with him, which was why I didn't trust Tanner around her, and I always showed up to parties with him.

              “I can ask them to leave.”

              “They're your guests, I can't ask you to do that.”

              Sarah shook her head. “You can. You're my closest friend, and he's a douche bag and she's a slut. I have no problem kicking them out.”

              I smile at Sarah because she was a good friend. “Thank you, but I think I'm just going to ask Braxton to duck out early.”

              “Are you sure? I've really missed you, and I don't want you to leave.” Last time Sarah saw me, I was in sweats and I had been crying for weeks. She was a good friend, but I wasn't. I was a horrible friend, and no one knew that more than me.

              “I'll call you.” She nods and someone else catches her attention. “I'll see you.”

              I walked inside to find Braxton, but long blonde hair caught my attention. Callie is talking to a guy...Tanner. My chest tightened and I was on the verge of having a panic attack. His eyes landed on me, and he waved. Callie took one look at me, and walked over to me.

              “Are you okay?” She asks. “Where's Braxton?” Tanner was right behind her.

              “Who is Braxton?” I hear him ask.

              “Callie.” I warn her, but she's already telling him.

              “Her date tonight.”

              “Date?” I look to the floor, and I dig my fingernails into my thigh. Whenever I got super stressed out, I did it. I had minor scars from what I did to myself.