In Your Honor (51 page)

“
I know you haven't made any
decisions, and this is not meant to put any pressure on you,”
Kendra was saying. She'd cornered Lucy in the back lounge of the
red bus while the rest of the two bands had gone to do radio
interviews. Lucy had backed out of the radio spots, declaring her
intentions to return home after the tour and not remain a part of
the Taylor Stevens Band. Kendra decided to pounce. “You've
developed a pretty decent following. I can manage it for
you.”

“
Just ask me what you want to ask me,
K,” Lucy said with a hidden smirk.

Kendra narrowed her eyes. “Who told
you?”

“
Mike may have mentioned
something.”

Kendra sat down next to her and huffed. “All
right. I want to be your manager. I think I'd be really good at
it.”

“
You would be,” Lucy agreed. “And I
promise, if I decide to do this, you're the one I'm gonna
pick.”

Kendra sighed. “I can't believe the tour is
over.”

“
Tell me about it, it went fast,” Lucy
agreed.

“
You're really going home?”

“
You're the one who got my ticket for
me,” Lucy reminded her with a laugh.

“
I know... I was just
hoping...”

“
What were you hoping?”

“
That Blake would ask you to
stay.”

Lucy bit down on her bottom lip and
chewed thoughtfully. “
You have to be your
own before you can be someone else's,
” she
quoted.

Kendra jerked her head to look at Lucy in
shock.

“
What?” Lucy asked with a
wary smile.

“
Nothing,” Kendra shook
her head. “I mean, Blake said that same exact thing on the plane
the day we left Oklahoma.”

Lucy's smile grew soft and her gaze traveled
past Kendra's face to the wall behind her. “I forgot.”

“
Forgot what?”

“
He used to say it all the
time. It must have made an impact and I just forgot.”

Kendra hesitated before speaking, but just
barely. “See? That's what I mean. You guys are so connected that
being apart seems ridiculous. I get that Shane turned into a
complete douche nozzle and you got hurt, but it's been six weeks.
I'm pretty sure the statute of limitations for grieving a
relationship has passed. I mean, it's not like you guys had been
together very long. In fact, I think you've been broken up longer
than you were together.”

“
Tell me how you really
feel,” Lucy responded dryly and with a smirk. “I hear what you're
saying, K, I really do. But I've been reckless too many times. I
think I'm gonna try the cautious side of things for
awhile.”

“
Even if it's completely
against your nature?” Kendra retorted.

“
Man, you've picked up an
attitude,” Lucy teased instead of answering the question. “Who knew
there was a southern girl under all that New England
chill.”

Kendra smiled wryly and Lucy leaned her
shoulder into hers. The conversation was over for now, she knew.
But she was hoping that it wasn't the end of the road. It didn't
feel finished yet.

***

Sure, the shows had been... awesome, in a
word. The minutes that were spent on the stage in the hot lights,
singing her fool heart out, were her favorite parts of the day.
Blake had been right, it was the best therapy for mending her
broken heart.

And then of course there was Blake. The past
month had been completely different for Lucy. He was attentive
without being pushy, and weirdly sweet. He gave her space but
didn't disappear. They still hung out in groups with the other band
members, Blake consistently taking the place by her side wherever
they may be. Their friendship had blossomed into a whole new flower
and she was hesitant to hang her hopes on it. Afraid it would get
yanked away from her again.

She hadn't seen or spoken to Shane since the
day he'd left. But she'd heard whispers and covert rumors that
Blake had gone to see him in New York. The outcome of that
conversation must not have been too dramatic, because Blake hadn't
even mentioned it. It didn't diminish her curiosity, though.

Her writing had picked up considerably. She
wrote by herself as often as possible. She'd taken claim of the
back lounge and it had become her makeshift office. Taylor
suggested she keep it as her room, and she happily complied.
Writing seemed to be the only way to put her jumbled feelings in
any kind of an order. Not that it helped make any sense of it, but
at least it was getting out and not staying inside.

That's where she was at the moment,
scribbling words down on notebook paper as fast as she could.
Kendra had just left, and Lucy was struck with inspiration. Their
final show was tonight and she felt caught off guard. She had been
looking forward to going home after all this, but now she suddenly
felt like she wasn't finished.

In all honesty, she wasn't ready to leave
Blake yet. Their friendship had become a vital part of her everyday
existence again, even if it was safer than it had been before, and
she was terrified of starting all over. But that's exactly what
would happen. She would go home and he would be a rock star. Two
different worlds. Two different futures.

She was completely aware of the fact that if
she went ahead and took Luke's offer and signed to their label,
there was a very real possibility that she and Blake would remain
in better contact. But that was a huge commitment, and she didn't
want to make that kind of decision for the wrong reasons. Staying
in order to hold onto Blake was the wrong reason.

As such, she already had a flight home
booked for the day after tomorrow. Daddy had planned a welcome home
party for her at the diner and she was looking forward to that
too.

Why couldn't she be happy with just that?
Why did she have to feel ripped in half?

***

Blake wasn't sure how time had gotten away
from him. He had woken up this morning with the sobering
realization that Lucy was leaving in a couple days. And they hadn't
taken any big steps towards what he wanted most.

The show that night was going to be pretty
huge and there were a lot of preparations and details that had to
be taken care of. He was kind of upset that it was the last show of
the tour and he wouldn't get to see Lucy at all ahead of time, it
just wasn't feasible. He was busy with radio interviews all day and
would even miss her sound check.

During the radio interview that morning,
they had been asked more about Lucy than about their own band. She
was intriguing and new and the world wanted a piece of her. Some
photos on the internet had started to circulate of her and Blake
being seen together and he had to dodge rumors that there was
anything going on. Even though it wasn't all truth. He wanted to be
with her. Badly.

Lucy's set that night went better than
anticipated. The media's interest in her had caused additional hype
that no one was truly prepared for. When she came back to play
during Taylor's set, the crowd went nuts. They acted like she was a
bigger celebrity than she was, and Blake could tell she was
amused.

When DBS took to the stage, Blake played for
all he was worth. The set was longer, bigger, and louder, and he
trashed his guitar in the process. The fans loved it. He threw
chunks of his broken instrument out into the crowd, loving his job
more than ever.

After their extended encore, he came down
the steps of the stage to see Lucy's beaming smile right at the
bottom. He didn't hesitate or over-think it, he just gathered her
in his arms and hugged her as tight as possible. Pressing his face
into her neck, he breathed in deeply. She would always be home to
him.

“
When is your flight?” he asked as he
set her down.

“
Day after tomorrow. Eight in the
morning.” She pressed her lips together, avoiding saying what they
were both feeling.

Well, he was done with that. He had given
her time to grieve. Had been the shoulder when she was vulnerable.
Had given her space to clear her head. It was time to get it right.
Her dark eyes shifted to the floor, and he wondered if this was one
of those moments where she was reading his thoughts again.

“
Where you staying tonight?” he asked,
tangling his fingers in hers as they walked to the green room. They
all had to move off of the buses so they could be cleaned and
stored. The members of DBS would go to their homes in the city, but
Taylor and his band would have accommodations in town before their
flights home the day after.

“
Some fancy hotel in midtown.” She
faltered for a second, but recovered and very deliberately asked,
“Maybe you could help me find it?”

Blake felt his lip twitch, but other than
that he hid his reaction. Inside, he was yelling and carrying on
like a fool who had just won the lottery. She was ready.

“
Sure, you already packed?” he asked,
keeping his tone casual even though lightning was traveling the
length of his veins, starting at the place where her hand was
connected to his.

“
Yep, took care of that today.” They
stopped at the green room door and she looked at him, tucking hair
behind her ear shyly. Her dark locks were hanging in messy tangles
over her shoulders and she'd changed into fresh clothes after her
set. Impulsively, he leaned down and kissed her cheek, noting the
instant red flush of her one exposed ear.

“
I'll get your bags out of the bus so
you can say goodbye to everyone.” He squeezed her hand before
letting it go and left her there. He knew she watched him walk
away, he didn't have to turn around to check. But he did. He gave
her a wink and she bit her bottom lip as he turned back around
again. Oh yeah, it was time. Tonight was the night.

He got her bags out of the bus and called a
cab to meet them by the back gate of the venue. The end of the tour
was usually bittersweet. These people became family, and it was a
sad lonesome feeling to have to end that relationship. Especially
for someone like Lucy, who had made friends with every single
person on tour. It's just who she was. So, saying goodbye took a
long time. Blake wasn't so sentimental. He'd see most of the crew
around town soon enough. And those he didn't, he didn't really care
about that much anyway.

Lucy wiped a few stray tears off of her face
as she joined him next to the cab while he was loading her bags in
the trunk. He grinned at her and held the door open so she could
get in first. She slid into the seat and he got in beside her, his
heart starting to pound like thunder. He reached over and put an
arm around her, hauling her back to his side of the cab so she was
pressed right up next to him.

She let out a startled gasp that made him
want to kiss her before she relaxed. They didn't speak the whole
ride over, and she watched the lights pass outside the window,
occasionally stealing glances in his direction. He knew this
because he'd been staring at her the whole time.

When they pulled up outside his loft, he
could see the questions on her face, but he didn't address them. He
tried to hold back the smile that wanted to take over his face as
he unloaded her bags and paid the cabbie.

“
Where are we?” she finally asked as
he hoisted their luggage and entered through the door being held
open by Winston, his doorman. He nodded at the man respectfully and
she followed him into the elevator.

He pushed the button for his floor and
waited for the doors to close before answering, “My place.” Her
lips opened slightly and his eyes focused on them for a second
before they swept back up to her surprised expression. He raised an
eyebrow at her. “You make your first trip to Boston and you haven't
even asked to see where I live.”

“
I guess, I thought...” she stammered,
and he let out a chuckle as the doors opened to his
floor.

She followed him through the door and he
stole another glance at her. Her ears were bright red, and she was
chewing on the side of her thumbnail while she watched him work the
lock.

“
You're adorable.” He smiled crookedly
when she frowned at him. He opened the door, ushering her through
first, reaching over her shoulder to flick the lights
on.

Setting down their suitcases, he crossed his
arms over his chest and leaned against the wall by the door,
watching her examine his living quarters.

She had this curious habit of exploring new
places slowly and deliberately. Touching corners, fabrics and
certain pieces of furniture. Like she was learning more about the
inhabitant of that place than she could by having a
conversation.

A sense of peace and satisfaction came over
him as her presence seemed to fill the empty spaces that he had
been struggling with for years. The entire time he had owned his
loft, he had never once brought a woman back to it, not counting
Claudia the cleaning woman. Not one date or girlfriend had crossed
the threshold. He was always waiting for her, he supposed. Because,
for the first time, it felt like home.

“
I love you.”

She turned around slowly. He kind of
couldn't believe that he'd just said that, but he was done with all
the regret and all the games and the believing that he couldn't
have her. Shane had been right. He belonged to her. He
belonged
with
her.

She studied him silently, her eyes measuring
him, deciding if he was serious or not. “Don't say hasty things
because I'm going home in a couple of days,” she responded,
focusing on logical reasoning.