Incomplete (9 page)

“Her name is
Lily
,” I grind out. “And you got all that from five minutes in her presence?”

“
Lily’s
look said
hours
of things. Why aren’t you dating?”

“She’s my best friend.” I try to leave her and the current conversation at the bar, but Ana follows. I straighten the chairs and tables near the window.

“So? The couples that are meant to be together
are
best friends.”

It can’t be that simple, not with Lily and me. “I don’t want to lose her as a friend if things don’t work out.”

“What if you lose her because you remain just her friend and never make a move?”

I glare at her. “Don’t you have work to do?”

Ana juts a hip out and places a hand on it. “Oh, honey, you are
more
than enough work to keep me busy. Ask her out.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I’m leaving for college at the end of the summer. I can’t start something and then leave. That would be even worse than not saying anything. I’m trying to do whatever is the least hurtful for Lily. It has to be this way, Ana.”

“What about you? What about what hurts you? Or don’t you matter in all of this?”

I shift my eyes from her knowing ones, rubbing my forehead. “It doesn’t matter what I feel or think about any of it. All that matters is Lily.”

“Wow. You really love her,” she states, holding my gaze.

I don’t say anything, shifting my jaw as I glower at her. Ana means well, but damn, is she nosy.

“What’s the real reason you won’t tell her how you feel, Grayson?” Ana quietly asks.

I swallow around the tenseness of my throat. A lengthy silence ensues. I blink my eyes and look away as I finally say, “I’m not good enough for her.”

Ana doesn’t speak for a long, long time, and when I can’t stand the silence another second and glance at her, it’s to see an expression of utter sadness on her face.

“Why don’t you let her decide that?” she says and flounces away to actually do some work.

The rest of the shift passes quickly and I leave Ana in the company of her parents with acute relief. She mouths, “Tell her,” as I head for the door. I give her a look, her laughter following me from the bar. It’s not that simple.
Life
is not that simple.

I’m showered and ready by six-thirty. Lily and I never really said whether or not I am supposed to be going with her to the stupid party—that kind of ended at an impasse, but that was the only thing her comment about me picking her up at seven could have meant, so here I am.
Beyond ecstatic.

I pace the length of my room, glancing at my reflection each time I pass. I messily styled my hair with some goopy stuff and decided to wear my glasses again. My eyes seem to get tired faster when I have contacts in. I put on cologne Lily got for me for Christmas and a black leather tie bracelet I bought at her urging from a flea market last summer. Dark jeans and a black tee shirt with the band name ‘
Staind’ on it make up my outfit. My signature shoes are black Converse. Lily has called my style a mix between rocker boy and geeky bookworm.

I grab my wallet, shoving it into my back pocket as I leave the room. I say a quick goodbye to Aidan and my dad. The earlier incident between my mother and I hasn’t been brought up and I haven’t seen her since before I left for work. That’s how it goes in my house—we pretend what we don’t want to see isn’t real
ly there. Denial at its finest.

I’m not nervous, but I’m not exactly overjoyed to be
going to Garrett Adams’s house either. Of course it’s a huge, perfect white house with colorful flowers around it, shade trees in the yard, and a porch with a swing. Everything’s new and clean and I hate it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the house I live in—it’s new and clean enough too. For some reason I feel like his house is better than my house, which is so fucking ridiculous I can’t even stand myself for having the thought. It’s a
house
. Next I’ll be forcing him to whip out his dick to see how his compares to mine too. Okay, so I
won’t
be doing that, but I do have to wonder about
that
   now too.

“How long are we staying?”

Apparently
she
lied for once because Lily is wearing a short jean skirt and a white top and then these hot pink shoes with bows on them and she is in no way dressed inappropriately. I really need to ask her about her shoes one of these days. Her hair is twisted around her head in a seductively messy way and every time I look at it, I want to grab her and kiss her, so clearly she knows what she’s doing. Then again, she probably doesn’t. I sigh.

She frowns at me.
“Until we want to leave. Why? Does your coach turn back into a pumpkin at midnight, or what?”

“Funny.”

Mia giggles. “Maybe we should call you Cinderella.”

The sky is quickly darkening as night descends, the air cool and smelling of fresh grass and rain. Lily drags me to the door, Mia close behind, struggling to keep up. She is dressed in some bright green stretchy dress that looks a size too small. Her hair is curly around her face. I don’t know how she can move in the garment she calls a dress, but I don’t really care either.

“Or not,” I snap back.

“
Ooooh,” Mia coos, her brown eyes sparkling. She enjoys irritating me entirely too much.

I turn to Lily. “You know I don’t want to be here.”

“So why are you?” Mia asks; her eyes sharp on my face as she awaits my response.

The door opens before I can answer and there stands Garrett Adams with a cheesy grin on his face when his eyes land on Lily. I want to punch him blind so he can never gaze at her again. My fists tighten with longing. He’s wearing a preppy orange polo shirt and faded jeans, his brown hair ridiculously styled so the front is sticking up and the rest of his hair is flat. ‘Springsteen’ by Eric Church is playing loud from what I can tell even before looking is an astronomically expensive sound system. Okay.
Now
I’m jealous.

His brown gaze flickers to me, his smile dims—which makes mine appear—and he unenthusiastically opens the door wider. “Lily, Mia…Grayson,” Garrett grinds out, his facial expression showing how distasteful he finds the sound of my name on his lips.
Totally mutual, buddy.

I pat him on the shoulder—hard—and walk into his house. The fact that he is so completely
un
happy about my presence at his party has lightened my mood considerably. It’s not like he is going to tell me to leave because if
I
leave, Lily leaves, and he doesn’t want
that
to happen. Sucks to be him.

“You want something to drink?” Garrett says loudly, leaning too close to Lily.

I stiffen, but Lily just nods.

The first room, which is probably technically called an entryway, is larger than my living room. The walls are a shade between white and butter, the ceilings high, and the room is packed full of intermingling testosterone an
d estrogen—i.e. boys and girls. People shout, laugh, and dance around me as I make my way through the highly perfumed mob, getting jostled from the front, back, and sides. Every now and then I catch a whiff of beer or hard liquor.

Garrett is walking ahead of us, periodically glancing over his shoulder at Lily as he goes. At one point his eyes raise and meet mine. I wi
nk and he quickly turns around with a frown on his face. I’m pretty sure me being here was not part of his ultimate plan to get Lily in his clutches. Should I tell him she wasn’t even going to come unless I came with her? Maybe later.

“Where are your parents anyway?” Mia asks, practically lying on Garrett’s back to make sure she is close enough to be heard. Or maybe she just wants to lay on him.

He answers without looking back, “Out of town for the weekend.”

“So when your parents are gone, you have parties?” Lily asks.

Garrett grins at her and I feel my face tighten up. “Yeah. Don’t you?”

She shakes her head, smiling, and I feel sick. I swallow, looking away. Mia is watching me, her eyes large. Great—she is exactly who I
don’t
need to be paying close attention to my reactions to Lily and Garrett. I quickly avert my eyes, pretending to find a guy jumping up and down in the middle of the room fascinating.

“My parents would know if I had a party.”

“How?” Garrett asks.

Lily shrugs. “They’re intuitive like that.”

“Plus you never would do that because you respect your parents and they trust you and you wouldn’t want to ruin that,” I add, looking at Garrett.

His eyes narrow at the obvious slight. “My parents are okay with me having a few people over.”

I nod, looking into the packed entryway. “Clearly your math skills are as bad as your basketball ones.”

Mia snorts and Garrett’s face reddens. He spins around to stalk into the kitchen. Lily widens her eyes at me, but a smile is trying to take over her lips. A couple is making out against the refrigerator and Garrett shoves the guy’s shoulder and they break apart, hurriedly leaving.

“What’ll you have? Beer, wine cooler, mixed drink? There’s punch too.”

“Water,” I answer.

Garrett ignores me, waiting for Lily to reply. “I’ll go with punch. It’s non-alcoholic?” Lily doesn’t drink; a fact I respect her more for, but I also wouldn’t judge her if she decided she wanted to drink. I don’t know if she doesn’t drink because of me or because she just doesn’t want to. Either way, I’m glad.

“Yep.
The punch is alcohol free.”

“Screw the not drinking. This is a
party
. I want a beer,” Mia says, opening the fridge and helping herself. She pops the tab of a Busch Light and begins to chug it.

“I’ll get her punch. Where is it?” I don’t trust Garrett to not put something in her drink.

“It’s in the other room. I’ll get it.” Garrett puts his hand on Lily’s arm and nods toward the foyer.

I smile tightly, wanting to fling his hand from her. “I can do it.”

“But I’m the host, so
I
should,” he says between clenched teeth, looming toward me.

Lily shoves herself between the two us, being sure to jab us both in the chest with her elbows. “I’m capable of getting my own drink. Excuse me.” She heads back to the entryway, Mia following.

We glare at each other, the air thick with tension.

“What is your deal wit
h Lily? You’re just friends, yet no other guy can talk to her?” Garrett demands.

“Oh, guys can talk to her.” I lean forward.
“Just not you.”

“You’ve always been a dick, Grayson, you know that?”

“And you’ve always been an arrogant prick who thinks he can get whatever he wants.”

Garrett smiles, but it isn’t a nice one. “I can.”

My face burns and my vision blurs for just a second. “You do one thing to harm Lily and I
will
kill you,” I say slowly, growling the words.

“Threats now?
You never quit, do you?” Garrett shakes his head, turning away.

“Not threats, Garrett.
Promises. Always promises. Remember that.” He shoots me a look of utmost dislike before disappearing into the other room.

I find a plastic cup and fill it with water from the faucet, taking a sip.
Fucking sorry excuse for a host.

***

I’m in the back of the room, leaning against the wall with my glass of water and all the other social butterflies. The room is large with vaulted ceilings and beige walls. The furniture, red and expensive-looking, has been pushed along the walls to allow room for dancing. Voices are louder and rowdier than an hour ago; the dance moves more sexual than when I first got here. Alcohol: the thing that can dumb anyone down.

My eyes are locked on Lily. She is laughing with Mia, dancing in the middle of the living room. Her dark hair partially covers her face as she moves to ‘Locked
Out Of Heaven’ by Bruno Mars. I want to drag her from the room for dancing so seductively to a song about sex, something she will never know anything about, unless it’s with me. I roll my eyes at my own idiocy. Lily
will
know about sex, some day, and it will
never
be with me. A tick forms in my jaw and I toss back the rest of my lukewarm water.

“Let me guess—vodka straight?”

I start, glancing to my left. A smile forms to my lips. “Ben. What the hell are you doing at such a loser party?”

“Well, I knew you’d be here.” He shrugs. Ben’s dark brown hair is spiked and he smells like he bathed in cologne. SpongeBob
Squarepants idiotically grins at me from the front of his white shirt and his jeans are torn. He’ll have girls flocking to him within minutes. I seriously don’t understand what it is about him. The guy’s a slob.

“Thanks.” I salute him with my empty glass.

He taps his can of Busch Light to it. “Mia wants me.”

I give him a look. “What else is new?”

His eyes on the people dancing, or more specifically, Mia, Ben says, “I might let her have me. For a little while.”

I shake my head. “I don’t think you want to get involved with that.
Just saying.”

Mia and Lily are heading toward us, Mia in the lead, eyes locked on Ben. Lily’s skin is flushed and her eyes sparkle. I swallow with difficulty
. Then she smiles at me and I forget to breathe for a second.

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re an expert on girls and relationships.” He nods his head toward Lily.

I glance at him, but his attention is on Mia. Does
everyone
know?

“Hi, Ben,” Mia purrs, patting his cheek. She leans against his arm—I think to remain upright more than anything, and begins to flirt. She tugs him toward the makeshift dance floor and he doesn’t protest.

“Grayson!” Lily exclaims, throwing her arms around me and knocking me off balance.

I
struggle to balance us, smelling something strong and wrong on her. I grab her arms and gently push her away, studying her face. “You feeling okay, Lily?”

Her eyes are slightly unfocused and she sways toward me when she says, “Of course! I feel
so
happy, Grayson. I love you; you know that, don’t you?” Lily lifts a hand and touches my right eyebrow. “And your eyebrow that always lifts up. I’m so jealous. But I even love that.”

I tuck those words away to dwell on later, even though I know she doesn’t mean them, not in the way I want her to
at least. “Have you been drinking?”

She shakes her head, strands of her hair brushing my face. “No. Wait. Yes.
Punch. Just punch, Grayson. I like punch. It’s really good.” Lily shoves the glass under my nose. “Here. Try some.”

The scent of alcohol wafts up to me and instant rage shoots through me. I yank the cup out of her hand. “Who got this for you?”

Her brows lower. “I don’t know. Why? Are you mad because no one got you any? I can get you some.”

“I thought—
“ I stop, inhale deeply, and start again. “I thought you were getting your own drinks?”

“Uh-huh. I did. I think. I don’t remember.” Lily grabs at me, knocking the almost empty cup from my hand. It lands on the red couch beside me, coating a large circle of it in pink liquid and darkening the fabric. At least it will blend in. “I want to dance with you.” She shakes my hands. “Come on, let’s dance.”

I grind my teeth together. “Was it Garrett?”

Lily bumps into me, her neck craned back to meet my eyes. “No. It was always you.”

I frown. “Did Garrett get you any drinks?”

With a shrug, Lily drops my hands and slowly turns away. Her voice is faint as she says, “I don’t know. I’m going to dance some more.” She tips too far to the right and I lunge for her, catching her before she falls. Lily looks up at me, laughing. I hold her that way, staring at the beauty of her. She goes still, her eyes suddenly focused, piercing; more gray than blue as they gaze into mine. “Do you love me, Grayson?”

I know Lily is drunk. But I take a shuddering breath as I reply anyway, “I do. So much.”

Lily smiles sweetly just before her eyelids shut and her body goes limp in my arms. I briefly hang my head, forcing myself into a mask of control I really don’t feel, and heft her small frame higher up in my arms. I tip my head toward her chest, somewhat relieved at the steady beat of her heart, but not enough
to calm me down.