Indulgence (103 page)

“I don’t want to touch her.” The cyborg pulled the energy
and nourishment tubes closer. “She smells like you but you’re low on fluids.”
He bent down, inserted the ends into Rage’s wrists. “You’ll damage her if you
collapse.”

Rage’s eyelids fluttered as the much-needed inputs coursed
through his form. “Thank you.” He did need the energy boost.

The kid dragged a chair over to him and sat. “She has as
many scars as you do now.”

“Her scars will heal.” He hoped. Rage would care for her
with or without them. They’d be a badge of honor, proof that his female was
strong. But he didn’t want her to remember her assault every time she looked in
a reflective surface.

He brushed back some of her curly brown hair and kissed the
lump on her forehead. That she’d had to live through it was bad enough.

“Could we have prevented this if we’d returned early?”
Concern reflected in Gap’s human-looking eyes.

“No.” Rage sighed. “Crash was right. The humans would have
killed me and then they would have killed her. You saved her life by stopping
me.”

“Good.” His friend exhaled.

Rage eased in and out of his unconscious female once, twice,
three times and found release. Her pussy overflowed with his cum. His arms and
legs were stiff from bracing himself upward.

“Is breeding more enjoyable when the female is online?” Gap
leaned forward, unabashedly observing him.

“Much,” Rage grunted. “This is healing, not breeding.” He
pressed his lips between Joan’s eyebrows. Would she forgive him for touching
her like this? “Breeding with the right female is an unmatched experience.” One
he might not have again.

The cyborg raised his eyebrows. “It’s better than fighting?”

“Yes.” He would give up a lifespan of battle for one more
opportunity to feel Joan’s fingers gripping his shoulders, her legs around his
waist, her hips hitching upward to meet his.

“Then why would you store your female elsewhere?” Gap tilted
his head. “Why would you want to go one planet rotation without her?”

Rage had begun to wonder the same thing.

“When I find my female, I’ll keep her with me,” the young
cyborg babbled. “If the Homeland won’t accept her, I’ll find a new planet or
we’ll stay on a battle station. By then, your female will have improved my
mechanics and you will have shown me all of your fighting tactics. I’ll be a powerful
cyborg, able to do whatever I want, go wherever I please.”

Gap had reason for optimism. He hadn’t almost gotten his
female killed, hadn’t left her unprotected, allowed other males to violate her,
hurt her.

Rage licked the dark purple bruises on Joan’s shoulder. He
might be able to heal her body but her trust would be more difficult.

He lifted his head and gazed down at her. It couldn’t be. He
closed his eyes, counted to three, opened them again. It was.

Her lips were moving.

“Joan?” Rage cocked his right ear closer. Even with his
superior hearing, he couldn’t make out the words. “I’m here, little engineer.
You’re safe. I’ll protect you.” Forever, he vowed. “There’s nothing to fear.”
He skimmed her lips with his. “No one will harm you ever again.”

Joan lay in a field of gold, warmth bubbling over her naked
skin, her arms and legs limp, her body relaxed. She was protected, safe, loved,
yet conscious of the danger surrounding her.

Darkness hovered at the edges of this world, sinister and
cold. She’d experienced it once. The hurt had seemed endless, striking every
part of her body. It had been so intense, she’d thought she wouldn’t survive
it.

Then the sun had found her and plucked her from the misery,
from the pain, engulfing her with its tantalizing heat. Its rays weighed
heavily upon her form and filled her pussy, stretching her open.

She loved it, wanted to stay in the light forever.

“Come back to me,” a stern voice ordered.

Instinctively, her senses sharpened and her spine straightened.
That movement set off a landslide of pain within her. She knew the owner of the
voice, wanted, needed to obey him, but she didn’t know how.

Where was he? She gazed around her, seeing only the darkness
on the horizon. How could she come back to him when she didn’t know his
location?

“Be still, little female. You’ll hurt yourself.”

This command she could obey. She gazed upward into the
blinding brightness and searched her brain for the male’s identity. Numbers
streamed across her mind. They didn’t feel right, didn’t feel like a name she’d
use for him.

She couldn’t picture his face, couldn’t remember how she’d
met him. All she knew was she trusted him, cared for him. He was hers.

“Mine.” Her voice was strange, hoarse, and her throat ached.

“Yes, yours.” Heat encased her hand, pressed against her
palm. “You own me. Always.”

Another voice murmured. She shivered, shrinking away from
the new male. He didn’t belong in her world.

“Go help Crash. You’re scaring her.” There was a long pause,
more murmurs. “Use your processors, Gap. My female hasn’t spoken with you,
doesn’t recognize your voice. She was attacked and thinks you’re one of them.”
Her male was angry.

Angry. “Rage.” That was his name.

“I’m here, Joan.” Warmth branded her forehead, her cheeks.
“Open your eyes for me. Can you do that?”

Weren’t her eyes already open? He sounded certain that they
weren’t. She lifted her eyelids. That took effort and when her eyelashes
parted, the brightness doubled, causing sharp shards of pain to zing through
her brain.

Her vision was foggy, a blur of gray. Two orbs of brilliant
blue cut through the haze. “Sir.” That form of address felt more natural. She
attempted to raise her hand.

“That’s it, female.” He helped her, curving her palm over
his firm skin. The raised flesh of a scar interrupted the smoothness. A trickle
of moisture coated her fingertips. It couldn’t be tears. Her male would never
cry.

Joan touched his face. He remained still, allowing her to
caress him, to gather her scattered thoughts. As she relearned his angles, his
bluntness, his marks, her memories returned and with it, her concerns.

“You came back, sir.” He was supposed to escape, to be free,
far from harm.

“I would never leave you.”

“But--”

“The cyborgs have taken control of the battle station.” Rage
turned his head, pressed a kiss into her palm. “No one will hurt you.”

He thought her fear was for herself. It wasn’t. She worried
about him.

“I failed to protect you. The pain you must have
experienced…” A shudder rocked his form, his skin vibrating against hers.

He blamed himself. She gazed at her arm, the arm she
believed had been broken. There were strips of pink over her skin but no other
signs of damage.

“I passed out when Boyd kicked me in the head, sir.” She
touched her forehead. There wasn’t even a bump. Had she imagined the pain or
had Rage’s nanocybotics repaired her? “Was it bad?”

“Yes.” Her cyborg’s gaze slid from hers. He stared to the
left, swallowed hard, his throat convulsing. “It was very bad.” His voice was
gruff. “You didn’t feel it?”

“Not much.” She wouldn’t lie to him and say she felt
nothing. “There was blood.”

“I cleaned you.”

“I’m supposed to serve you, sir, not the other way around.”
Joan summoned a smile. “That must have taken quite a few cleaning cloths.”

“I cleaned you with my tongue.” His eyes blazed. “And it was
an honor to serve you.”

Those were the words she’d left on her message to him. Her
face heated. She never expected to see him again, never expected to hold him,
to have him inside her. She bent her knees, cradling him between her thighs.
Her legs ached.

“I should--” He pulled away, his cock head skimming along
her inner walls.

“No.” She grabbed him, ignoring the pain. “Stay inside me. I
need you.”

“You need my nanocybotics.” Rage sank into her, the fullness
exquisite, right.

“It’s more than that.” Joan looked up at his harsh face. “I
need you, my male.” She cupped his square chin, brushing her thumb over the
scar there. “You make me feel safe.”

His lips twisted. “I allowed you to be harmed.”

“You couldn’t have protected me.” She didn’t expect him to.
He’d been a slave to the Humanoid Alliance, unable to move around freely.

“You said you’d never touch me without my permission.”
Rage’s face grew hard. “I touched you without your permission.”

“To heal me.” She grazed his lips with her fingertips. “And
if I had been conscious, I would have given you permission.”

“But you didn’t.” He was determined to punish himself. “And
I took you. I violated you like the--”

“Like the?” Joan inhaled sharply. “Like the others. They
violated me, didn’t they?”

He nodded.

“They were inside me.” A tiny part of her had hoped it
hadn’t happened, that the soreness in her pussy and ass were due to other
factors. But it had occurred. The males had used her unconscious body for their
sexual release.

“Oh, shit.” She stared at Rage. He was a possessive male,
had told her multiple times that no other male would touch her. “You didn’t
want to breed with me.” She released him, lowering her arms and legs. “You only
did that to save my life.”

“You were damaged and offline. Only a sick human would want
to breed with you in that state. But it was necessary to heal you.”

Joan’s heart squeezed at his cold words. “I was
damaged…because other males violated me. I must have smelled like them, been
filled with…” She couldn’t say it. “How can you stand to touch me, to look at
me, knowing what they did?” She blinked back tears. “Another female--”

“There will be no other females for me and no other males
for you.” Rage’s black eyebrows lowered. “You were damaged because the human
males broke almost every bone in your body. Breeding with you healed you but it
also caused you pain.”

“They violated me, sir.” She didn’t remember any of it,
waking cleaned and healed. She could pretend it didn’t occur. He couldn’t. He’d
seen the aftermath. “Doesn’t that disgust you?”

“I had been violated when we first met.” Rage frowned. “Did
that disgust you?”

“No, of course not, sir.” She’d felt outrage for her cyborg,
anger that any being would abuse him. “I admired you for what you had been
through and I wanted you--”

“Because I’m your male.” His expression softened. “You’re my
female.” He flitted his lips over hers. “I was proud that you’d survived. If
you had been weak, you wouldn’t have.”

“But--”

“I cleaned you with my tongue.” Rage licked her chin. “Wiping
away not only the blood but all of the other fluids also. I’m not mentally
deficient, little engineer. I knew where you stocked the cleaning cloths, and,
if touching you had revolted me, I would have used them first.”

He still wanted her, cared for her.

“I love you, sir,” she blurted.

Bolts of energy surged in his eyes. “You can’t love me. I
left you unprotected, allowing males to hurt you, violate you.”

“You didn’t know what they would do, sir.”

“I knew exactly what they planned to do.” His voice was
harsh. “Midway through deployment, another cyborg warned us of the impending
attack, and I didn’t return to the battle station to stop it.”

“Oh.” Her trust in Rage wavered for one heartbeat until she
remembered the warrior they were discussing. He was a C model cyborg, operating
more on instinct than logic. There was zero possibility that he did nothing.

She revisited his words. He said he didn’t return to the
battle station to stop it, not that he didn’t try to return to stop it. “What
action did you take when you heard about the attack?”

“Nothing effective.” He avoided her gaze.

She was right. Joan lifted her chin. He had done something.

“I bred with you without your permission.” Rage continued
his campaign to dissuade her from loving him.

“To heal me, sir.” She smiled gently at him. “I require more
healing.” She rocked against him, stroking his shaft with her inner walls.
“What else?”

His forehead furrowed. “I plan to kill Commander Lewis
slowly, brutally.”

“Good. I want to watch.” The Commander had planned to kill
Rage, had approved the attack on her. “And the others?”

“They’re already dead.” Her cyborg moved in and out of her,
his passion controlled, careful. “You don’t want to watch. He’ll be tortured
before he dies.”

“I’ve seen your deployment footage, sir. I know what you can
do.” It would be bloody and grotesque, but she needed to watch.

His lips flattened.

“I’ll have my justice.” She wrapped her legs around his
waist and gripped his shoulders, reveling in the ripple of muscle under his
gray skin. “I can’t take it myself. I’m too weak from the attack.”

Rage growled. “I wouldn’t allow you near him.” He thrust
harder, deeper. “He’ll never hurt you again.”

Commander Lewis must have been one of the males who had
violated her. Joan winced, the idea of him inside her sickening. “Then I expect
you to take him apart piece by piece, sir.” She gave him permission to do what
she knew he desired. “No mercy.”

“You mourned the death of a bovine.” Her cyborg eyed her
with suspicion.

“Wanderer was an innocent. Commander Lewis isn’t. He asked
the males to use a prolonger on me.” Joan held onto her cyborg warrior. “He
wanted me to feel every cut, every broken bone.”

“You didn’t allow that.” Rage’s eyes glittered.

“There were five of them. I couldn’t save myself but I could
prevent that fate.” She arched into him, brushing her nipples across his chest.
“Torture him. Show me what you’d do to any male who hurt me. I need that
reassurance.”

“You won’t look at me the same way.”

“I love you for who you are, Rage.” It was a violent
universe and she felt safer with a male equipped to deal with that violence.
“Never deny your true nature.”